Alyssa’s Fiction

Alyssa writes short stories every now and then. For those interested in her unusual voice, approach, and fictional subject matter, those stories are collected here.

"okay I'm not sure what you're even trying to accomplish here"
Me to all of these men.


Men. What are they even? So many of them are so, so bad at sending OkCupid and similar missives that one wonders if they aren’t any of various Lovecraftian monsters pretending at typewritten humanity in order to seduce lovely victims. In this ongoing project, I take examples of dating-profile ridiculousness and weave it into the all-caps messages such eldritch abominations might send, turning love letters into Lovecraft Letters.

Every one of these is NSFW.

1. The Attractive Disaster of Your Eyes
2. Boiling Faun
3. Rude Fleshcoat
4: The Orb
5: To Bring Shame To Your Fathers
6: A Wave of Murderous Sex
7: Very Oral, So Oral
8: Squamous Quarantine
9: Only Jobs
10: Fruit Made Meme
11: One Rooster to Rule Them All
12: Sea’s Sexy Appendix
13: Communion with the Flavorbrain
14: Leznard Twitruvian, World’s Sexiest Man
15: A Play in Three Faps
16: Neural Hetwork
17: You Disgusting Guinea Pig
18: Steamy Farmer
19: A Series of Silly Shipping Vignettes, Because I Am Not Going To Watch Debates This Year
20: A Love Story Between a Soon-To-Be-Expired Piece of Soap and an Old Canine Chew Toy

A photographer's quadcopter drone, with the camera arm replaced with a version of Colin Furze's thermite launcher.
She was a remarkable lady, truly unique.

Chains of Fire: A love story about two quadcopter drones.

This is yours now.

Combustion Man: A flash-fiction piece exploring a chemist’s curse.
A dog in a bowler hat sitting on a chair in a burning house. With a blank, slightly crazed look on his face, he utters, "This is fine."
Autistic Job Searching: A Play in Once Scene: A bitterly sarcastic scene of trying to get a job while autistic.

A "lucky" bamboo in a pot, as crudely drawn as it is unlucky, watered by some ugly drips from the ceiling and surrounded by a floor stain.
It’s drawn like this because the Crawlspace can’t afford for it to be drawn better.

Future Dive: A meditation on Millennial despair, with alcohol.

Jessie and James at the beach. Jessie is wearing a black strapless bikini. James has large breasts and is wearing an orange bikini and a wraparound skirt.
Really? You think they’re cis?

Trans Team Rocket: This series starts with an essay laying out the premise of a still-expanding fanfiction universe: That the Pokémon series’s Jessie is non-binary and James is transfeminine, both are autistic, and neither wants to be a villain. Pokémon ingénues can get acquainted with the relevant parts of the Pokémon franchise before reading with the Trans Team Rocket Viewing Guide. Patrons can access the entire series in a single document here.
  1. When James Met Jane: Reimagining Jessie and James’s path through the Pokémon anime if they had gotten the story they deserved.
  2. Angling for Myself – A Jane and Jessie Story: Jane and Jessie meet a very sad Feebas and have an adventure in femme pampering and self-discovery.
  3. Jane and Jessie – A Better, Shinier World: A serial story in 11 parts, featuring a world-ending threat, several new friends, a mythical Pokémon, and many heartfelt moments. Begin reading at Chapter 1 and use the links at the top of each chapter to navigate between them, or read the whole story as one web page (Patreon patrons only).
  4. A Memory of Water – A Jane and Jessie Story: Some of Jessie and Jane’s Pokémon encounter a sad Phantump in the woods and help her, discovering a dark truth about the Pokémon world in the process.
  5. Eyes on the Future, Heart in the Past – A Jane and Jessie Story: It’s Jessie’s birthday, but the festive atmosphere is interrupted by Joltik’s strange behavior, an dangerous plot, and old friends.

Stick-figure drawing of the Doctor (in the incarnation used here) sitting adjacent to a damaged Dalek on its side, with a pensive expression on her face.
“You’re not even the first.”

Doctor Alyssa: This series answers the age-old question, what if the Doctor (of Doctor Who) was a woman who likes to make Hispanic cultural references and bears a suspicious resemblance to yours truly? The answer, of course, is sexy adventures involving ingenuity, verve, and above all compassion, with improbable companions and occasional poetry. Patrons can access a compilation of these stories here.
  1. I Blame the Sea: The Doctor finds herself in an army base full of shapeshifters and makes an unexpected yet highly overdue friend.
  2. Life of the Mind: The Doctor bumps into an actress who is much more than she seems, and helps her defeat a mind-hopping psychic menace.

Dipper hoisting Pacifica onto her shoulders to place messages on the Prom Pine, drawn in pencil by Alyssa Gonzalez.
A moment for the future, a moment for the past, an eternity for the present.

The Prom Pine: Reimagining Dipper Pines of Gravity Falls as a trans girl. She and her friends go to prom. Dipper has a hard time, but her friends do what they can to make it easier.