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Highlights from the Void, 2017

As the surreal hellscape of 2017 winds to a close, it’s time to look back on the past year of blogging and pick out some high points my dear readers might have missed. So, for your enjoyment, here are ten of Alyssa’s proudest creations of 2017.

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Highlights from the Void, 2017

How to Cook and Eat your Favorite Republicans

It’s that time of year again, when humankind holds back the darkest night of the year with expansive meals and festive lights well across the northern hemisphere. And what better festive meal on the darkest night than the pitch darkness made manifest that is the average Republican?

I know, I know—Republicans are notoriously tricky to cook, since most of them are toxic enough that no plants ever grow again on the ground where they have trod barefoot and gutting them for consumption typically requires a full hazmat contingent. But there are some tips and trick that an enterprising culinary wizard can employ to make their Republican meals safe, easy, and even fun. Let’s begin.

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How to Cook and Eat your Favorite Republicans

Lovecraft Letters: Leznard Twitruvian, World’s Sexiest Man

“Blake Shelton looks like what would happen if the same neural network that made recipes out of “1 cup mixture” was tasked with ranking men’s sexiness.”

Encounter the Neural Network’s Sexiest Man below the fold…

Continue reading “Lovecraft Letters: Leznard Twitruvian, World’s Sexiest Man”

Lovecraft Letters: Leznard Twitruvian, World’s Sexiest Man