How to Cook and Eat your Favorite Republicans

It’s that time of year again, when humankind holds back the darkest night of the year with expansive meals and festive lights well across the northern hemisphere. And what better festive meal on the darkest night than the pitch darkness made manifest that is the average Republican?

I know, I know—Republicans are notoriously tricky to cook, since most of them are toxic enough that no plants ever grow again on the ground where they have trod barefoot and gutting them for consumption typically requires a full hazmat contingent. But there are some tips and trick that an enterprising culinary wizard can employ to make their Republican meals safe, easy, and even fun. Let’s begin.

Continue reading “How to Cook and Eat your Favorite Republicans”

How to Cook and Eat your Favorite Republicans
{advertisement}

Lovecraft Letters: Leznard Twitruvian, World’s Sexiest Man

“Blake Shelton looks like what would happen if the same neural network that made recipes out of “1 cup mixture” was tasked with ranking men’s sexiness.”

Encounter the Neural Network’s Sexiest Man below the fold…

Continue reading “Lovecraft Letters: Leznard Twitruvian, World’s Sexiest Man”

Lovecraft Letters: Leznard Twitruvian, World’s Sexiest Man

A Curated Selection of Abattoir Drippings: My Spam Folder, Screencapped and Mocked

CN pretty much every kind of bigoted abuse but mostly racist, instructions to suicide, MRAs/libertarians/edgelords being themselves.

As expected, answering 27 Questions has induced a steady influx of anti-humanist nonsense into my comments queue.  I’m better prepared than most to receive this onslaught, because I’ve watched this happen to people far more important and interesting than me for a long time, I’ve read what the various subsets of atheist dirtbag are about, and I feel no need to let them get close enough to get under my skin. They have no surprises for me, and nothing to say that far more articulate bigots haven’t said before. They can whine endlessly about how, in this heat, taking away their freeze-peach is a super mean thing to do, the kind of thing only a crate of hippos would dare make standard policy, and I can look at the other things in my spam folder and derive amusement from the idea that they think I’ll ever take them seriously.

Y’all are dangerous, not interesting. Understanding yourselves is a big step toward becoming better people, and I’m glad I could help.

With that in mind, this comment stuck out at me for how impressively it missed all the points.

My face at your shenanigans.
My face at your shenanigans.

Continue reading “A Curated Selection of Abattoir Drippings: My Spam Folder, Screencapped and Mocked”

A Curated Selection of Abattoir Drippings: My Spam Folder, Screencapped and Mocked