I’ve seen posts floating around asking for people to forget making “heterosexual passing couples” comfortable at Pride and instead focus on keeping Black and Brown trans and gender non-conforming people safe.
In case you didn’t know, Ricky Martin has an old Christmas song where the premise is he forgot it was Christmas and he doesn’t have a gift for his girlfriend.
Pretty innocent so far, right? Wrong!
This notorious shaker of bon bons has been featured on this blog twice before.
So what exactly is the problem?
Hello I am Nozomi and I am Non-Binary! My pronouns are they/them.
I am still figuring out the finer points of my own gender which is awesome, after realizing that a lifetime of feeling wrong in my own body was not unique. That I wasn’t broken or needing to be fixed, I was just me, and I was different. Learning that this is something that other people had too, but in their own ways was amazing. To learn I wasn’t alone that my feelings and experiences were valid. I just wanted to give a big loves and hugs to my queer community and all the wonderful flavors of peoples I know and love. You all made my own coming out possible.
Growing up there were always these pressures to do one or the other. Either you are a “girly girl” or a “tomboy”. Either you like dolls or legos. Everything was this weird forced binary. I was lucky enough to be able to have some freedoms as a child and growing up. I got to play with barbies and homemade clothes for them, as well as building blocks. I had hotwheel car races and tea parties with stuffed animals. I read books in my treehouse, I climbed trees wearing dresses. I went fishing with my grandparents and could clean and fillet a fish. I could also sew and play the piano. I could read books about dinosaurs as well as ones that taught me how to crochet.
I was lucky enough to be able to do these things as a kid growing up when so many kids are forced into gender roles and all the stuff that comes with that. Like science is for girls, boys can sew, any one can do anything. Needlessly gendering things like toys, books, even clothes and careers, I never understood. There is so much more out there than the binary stuff which also falling into the gender binary is super valid. Also being in between that or completely outside that is super awesome! We are awesome! <3
I am definitely in a wibbly wobbly, and gender bendery areas of time and space. I fucking love it here. It’s even more awesome to be able to have my pronouns recognized. I was playing games with a couple of people a few weeks back and for a few hours I was being mostly gendered correctly constantly. It was so affirming and empowering. It felt amazing, and something I hadn’t really experienced before on that large of a scale. This also helped me in my decision to come out and that it was the right thing for me. Being gendered correctly feels wonderful.
I would to prefer to always go by they/them pronouns. For my more close friends and family. . . I have even been able to play with changing my pronouns on occasion. Depending on how I am feeling I might be honored by she/her,and other traditionally femme coded terms. Some days I like he/him and other traditionally masculine coded words like handsome or Sir.
It’s awesome to be able to have people care and care about me and who I am. This has been super good and wonderful. I only wish that everyone could be safe and able to be themselves while staying safe. If you can’t come out, and things are not safe. Don’t worry you are not alone and even when it sucks, being safe is important.
For the future and for all general references to myself they/them pronouns are always safe and honor me. For even more reasons than just being non-binary. Many times things that are not gender neutral can cause me dysphoria.
As for the rest of my Queer identity. I am SUPER Queer!!! I am all manner of parts of the queer community, I don’t really discuss things that much, but since this is a coming out post I also wanted to say I am Demisexual, I am pansexual/panromantic. I fall in love with people, not genders, bits, presentation or anything else. There are so many amazing and beautiful people in this world and just as many ways to love people as there are people to love.
-Nozomi the Non-Binary (2017)
**A few notes for terms people might not be familiar with.
Non-Binary: Is an umbrella term that includes any gender identities that do not fit within the gender binary of male and female. There is a lot under here like genderfluid, genderqueer, agender, gendervoid.
Gender Dysphoria: Is a discomfort and disconnect with the gender someone was assigned at birth. This can take many forms and is very unique to a lot of people and also a lot of us experience similar things. The opposite of gender euphoria the feeling I talked about above when I was being gendered correctly.
I encourage you to do research and reading on your own and find good resources written by people with these experiences.
Men, I know that after reading my post about Summer immodesty, you were left wondering how you can enjoy the warm weather the way Jesus intended. Thanks to a loyal Mandesty reader, I have an answer for you! Yes, for just $29.99 (US) you can have fun in the sun and safeguard your soul!
I know you may ask: “But what about wetsuits?” Unfortunately wetsuits are not modest. They cling to the body and while some styles cover the extremities, there are others which don’t.
Wetsuit? More like slutsuit!
CN: homophobia, religious bigotry, Pulse
The recent shooting at Pulse has me hit me hard. It got me to think about my own queerness and about what it means to be a queer Boricua. I started thinking about my first encounter with Pride and the LGBT community.