But Can You Understand Where I’m Coming From?

If you’re the member of any sort of minority, chances are you’ve run across this. Some friend, family member, or vague acquaintance ends up in a situation where they are confronted with their own inherent biases in some way, and they feel the need to run to you as the Representative of Minority Co. to explain the situation.

For example, imagine you have a friend name Betty who is the owner of a small business who is hiring someone to work as a part of that business. She has narrowed her choice down to two ideal candidates, who are identical in terms of qualifications. Both have the right amount of experience, the same great attitude and personality that fits into the team dynamic, in terms of “reasons to hire” the two are completely interchangeable. Except that Candidate A is abled while Candidate B is disabled.

Now Betty is not a Capital A Ableist. She knows that disabled people are just as capable as abled people, she truly believes that the world should be accessible, and has all the empathy for disabled people having a difficult time being able to find gainful employment. Betty has signed countless petitions to make accessibility more prevalent, her own brother even has a disability. Betty is an ALLY!

But Betty’s business is small, and even with the added help, she is hopelessly overworked. Candidate B’s disability will require the company to undergo some work to make it completely accessible. Maybe, it would even cost her some money to get some needed program or service, or to make some changes to the physical location of the business. She was already putting pressure on her budget by hiring a new person, the added finances would be just too much. She would have to close up shop, and it’s not really fair to her or to any of her other employees, or to her family, to jeopardize her business for the sake of one person. If they had been better qualified and the best option than of course, it would be no question, but the two candidates are completely identical and really it’s a coin toss one way or the other. Wouldn’t it be just as unfair to Candidate A to only not hire them because they’re not disabled? She makes her choice and then next time at dinner with her brother’s she lays the whole story out and asks:

“Can you understand where I’m coming from?” Continue reading “But Can You Understand Where I’m Coming From?”

But Can You Understand Where I’m Coming From?
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How Dare you Be Fat!

It’s been a wonderful morning. One of my birds passed away last night, and I got to wake up to this pile of annoying bullshit in my inbox. Lately it seems like our blog has made its way over somewhere to a bunch of people who like to get all upset at the idea of the “charity cases” of society daring to speak out about not being treated like human beings. Then of course if we respond, we’re “having hysterics”. Comments complaining that people being forced to live through inhumane conditions like those in the Salvation Army shelter have no right to complain because they don’t pay for those services, or this lovely example of human compassion who didn’t even bother paying attention to what they were commenting on before making a point to remind me that I’m fat.

Davoin Shower-Handel:

Are you being serious here? First off, getting your government check a week early doesn’t short you for the month. There is this thing called budgetin9, it is what most working people do. You should give it a try, you certainly appear to have the free time to fit it in!

Also it is hard to take claims of starvation/no food seriously from someone who:

  1. A) is significantly overweight

  2. B) who blogs about making and eating artisinal food items like expensive bacon.

 

This morning though, I’m feeling both in the mood to educate, annoyed for other , and a little bit petty, so douche wipe gets to see their name on here just like they wanted, while I use his comment to illustrate exactly why these comments come off as

  1. Disingenuous and pretty obvious that it’s not actually about what is written there
  2. Just another excuse to fat shame, poor shame, and generally make people afraid of speaking out about problems or interests for fear of facing assholes like this one.

Let’s begin.

Continue reading “How Dare you Be Fat!”

How Dare you Be Fat!

Could Have Died Because She Needed an Ambulance and was Deaf/HoH.

(Posted with permission. )


It’s 2 am, when suddenly you find yourself unable to communicate clearly. Your words come out incoherent and hard to understand, including in text. What do you do?

Continue reading “Could Have Died Because She Needed an Ambulance and was Deaf/HoH.”

Could Have Died Because She Needed an Ambulance and was Deaf/HoH.

My Little Hobbit House Library

This year, I’ve been spending a lot of time building different things. I’ve had to start over in a lot of ways, and things are still shifting pretty dramatically for me. While things are unstable, it has given me an opportunity to learn how to do things I never really imagined possible.

Today I managed to see one project come to fruition. I built a Little Free Library (not yet registered in part because I can’t actually afford to) and it’s been installed at the Community Garden and Oven that I’m a member of.

Ania in standing with the green hobbit door little library.

Continue reading “My Little Hobbit House Library”

My Little Hobbit House Library

I NEED YOU TO STAND WITNESS

CN: mentions of suicidal ideation

For the last little while, I’ve been struggling quite a bit. I’ve been trying desperately to fix the situation I was left in last year. I’ve been just barely getting by with help from friends, by taking out more debt, and by surviving off of stores I’ve had sitting by just in case.

Rather than getting any easier however, things have just been getting worse. My roommate had to move to BC for work and while I was able to find someone to take over his room, the rental agency had issues with him replacing my former roommate on the lease. I couldn’t very well leave my old roommates name on it, and my own financial situation means they are not willing to have it be in my name alone.

As such, I had to give my notice for the end of summer.

I knew the rental situation in Ottawa had gotten worse in the years I’ve been living at this place, but even so I was unprepared for the reality I am facing. The rent costs have skyrocketed to such a point, where $300 over what disability considers a reasonable housing allotment gets me a room in a house with six other people, and I can forget about the house being accessible, meaning I have no idea what to do with my wheelchair, let alone how to be able to live in a place I can’t physically navigate.

Essentially, the way things stand right now, at the end of August I am homeless.

Continue reading “I NEED YOU TO STAND WITNESS”

I NEED YOU TO STAND WITNESS

Echar Pa’lante: 6 Months Later

Echar pa’lante is a saying which means ” keep moving forward”.

Just six months have passed since Maria devastated the Caribbean. I wrote about my hometown in Puerto Rico and about my grandma. I wrote in the hopes of educating people who may not be as familiar with Puerto Rico other than knowing about the capital, San Juan. I wrote it in the hopes of getting help for my grandma.

Six months later and the island is still recovering; still struggling.

Continue reading “Echar Pa’lante: 6 Months Later”

Echar Pa’lante: 6 Months Later

Too Poor for Fashion

Being a fat nerd living in poverty means that there is a lot of pop culture fashion that I just cannot afford. You may have heard that Torrid released a Sailor Moon-inspired line on January 9th. Sailor Moon has been one of my favorites for years. I knew I would never be able to afford whatever clothing came out though because Torrid is expensive.

Continue reading “Too Poor for Fashion”

Too Poor for Fashion

Brad’s Tips for Growing your Home Garden

Today’s post is written by Brad E. Man

Hey y’all

I’m writing this today because Sunflower Punk can’t possibly comprehend this because she is a woman. I mean she tells me she’s “non binary”, but we all know that there are only two genders. Binaries are for computers and we all know women don’t know how they work.

Anyway, I’m here to talk to you about growing your own tomatoes.

Obviously this guy is a cuck.

It is not hard to grow your own food. Literally anything you say is a barrier is an excuse. Disabled? Nope. The only disability is your bad attitude.

Have kids? Should have kept your legs closed, slut.

Too busy at work? Do what I did. Don’t work and have your fiance pay for everything.

My Guide to Saving Money to grow tomatoes:

Step 1) have a fiance that pays for all your shit

Step 2) bully single moms on the internet

Step 3) profit (the profit is a tomato)

Really, that’s all there is to it. Step 1 was hard because some women have ridiculous standards like “don’t harass women online”. But I pressed on and after following PUA tactics, I negged someone enough to think I was the best they could do.
Which brings me to step 2. I was peacefully minding my business eating Doritos, drinking mountain dew and perusing return of kings. A woman I don’t know posted the above image. Obviously I had to point out how wrong she was.

She told me she’s homeless. Can you believe that? Homeless and on facebook! I bet she also has a phone. Ridiculous.

Another woman told me her budget and how it doesn’t cover enough to grow a home garden.

Excuses! My phone bill is $200/month, rent is $600 and our food budget is 181 dollars. All this is paid by my fiance while I stay home and tend to the garden. It is after all my pride and joy.

These women with their children and homelessness are haters and will continue to have bad luck because they wouldn’t listen to me.

Brad Every Man is a sometimes writer, all the time douche bag.  He enjoys tomatoes, sexism and classism. He has a cat who hates him.  

Brad’s Tips for Growing your Home Garden