I often think that the earliest sign of how my gender would eventually unfold was my taste in music. From the earliest I gravitated to pop music performed by women, and even as I grew older and this fondness became tinged with new feelings about the singers’ exposed skin and shapely bodies, there was something there that my male peers didn’t share. My autism aimed me at euphonious, smooth sounds and clear vocals that ruled out the harsher forms many of my peers preferred, but that wasn’t it, either. Before I knew what that meant or why, I could tell, they spoke my language. It was more than titillation, sensory needs, or aesthetics that drew me. The songs were about love and relationships and feelings, and all of them were expressed in magnificently feminine terms, and that made them real in ways that the male-led songs I gravitated toward in adolescence never managed to be.
I learned to be ashamed of this fondness, keeping it hidden. I’d gotten enough odd looks and dismissive noises to know that this was, at best, a child’s fancy best discarded, and more likely, something that contributed to the tumultuous awfulness of my adolescence. I forced myself to appreciate music led by men. I succeeded, but I never gave up on my old favorite sounds.
The future vindicated me.
Continue reading “A Very Alyssa Playlist”
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before:
A trans person, probably a trans woman, has parents. Those parents are a predictable yet incomprehensible medley of bigoted toward transgender people, ignorant of queer and transgender topics, and uninterested in learning more, and think “acceptance” means that the telephone shouting matches have mostly stopped and they haven’t severed all ties with their transgender descendant. There’s very little else they get right, and they think that their progress is measured in “time since they heard.”
There are a lot of specific things they get wrong, and they’re frustratingly defensive about getting corrected on any of them.
So here are some answers.
CN sexual assault, suicide, violence against women
Continue reading “Answers for Parents with Transgender Offspring”
2 Cups of lactose-free whipping cream. (If you can handle lactose ok, regular is fine too)
4 egg yolks
1/3 cup Sugar
½ cup Passion Fruit juice* (Purple skinned passion fruit pictured 2
½ cup Guava juice *
¼ cup Guava paste
Brown or white sugar for topping
I used Ceres Juice. While the process should work with other juices, changing the concentration on sugars or other fruit used as sweeteners can change the taste. I highly recommend experimenting with different juices if you want to find the best taste for you. Watch out as well for different types of passion fruit – there are different varieties, some of which are sweet and some of which are incredibly sour.
Continue reading “Guava and Passion Fruit Creme Brulee: Grade A Bula-shit”
Today is World Toilet Day: A fact that seems to amuse a lot of people. Living in North American, it can be pretty easy to take toilets and running water for granted. Bathrooms have become such an integrated part of our daily lives and routines, it can be hard to imagine not having regular access to a toilet. Perhaps on a camping trip, or in a particularly deserted area of town one might be inconvenienced temporarily, but on the whole most of us have a reasonable expectation of having access. As such, it might come as a shock to learn that 1 in 3 people in the world, do not have safe and adequate access to toilets or running water.
Running water and the flushable toilet were not just breakthroughs in convenience and comfort. The development of the toilet meant serious progress in overall public health.
Continue reading “World Toilet Day”
It’s the last day of my IndieGoGo for the cookbook I am writing. I’ve been working hard on it already and have quite a bit already written. I’m fundraising to give me a chance to make the cookbook better by being able to exactly measure proportions for each recipe and take pictures of the process.
I’ve made my base goal, which is awesome! I’m hoping to be able to reach the stretch goals, in particular, the one related to the Video Cookbook.
I’ve been trying to make videos for a while now and have done some work towards that, however, I don’t really have the right equipment. My camera is pretty old, and so the video quality is pretty low. It is nearly impossible for me to be able to zoom in and get the detail necessary to really show how to do things.
If you have a chance, consider donating to my fundraiser. $10 gets you a copy of the eventual ebook, while higher donations get you access to secret early release recipes, and the chance to have a recipe named after you.
If you cannot donate, please share my fundraiser on Facebook or Twitter. Thank you so much.
Existing as a transgender person is hard. We face expenses and hazards that few other people share, progressive organizations consider our rights a bargaining chip to trade for what they actually care about, and most of us lose a big part of our social circle when we emerge as ourselves, forcing us to rebuild at a time when we’re subject to tremendous abuse.
While the difficulties specific to trans people in any of various situations—airports and prisons suddenly come to mind—are worth discussing at length, one sphere in particular needs highlighting: the medical system. A lot of us travel by air and too many of us end up in prison, but virtually all of us see doctors, and seeing a doctor is a frustrating mess for people like us.
Continue reading “Four Things Doctors Can Do For Their Trans Patients”