So since the overturn of Roe v. Wade last year, this list has been passed around. It is a list of gynecologists who will perform tubals and such, no questions asked. Great!
However, here is the catch. If you’re fat? You’re out of luck. I know this because my former Austin doctor is on the list. And she told me when I saw her last year (before the overturn) that I needed to lose 50 pounds before she’d even consider it.
This is bullshit for several reasons. But for me, personally, losing weight is nearly impossible. I have hypothyroidism, I’m multiply physically disabled. Exercise is hard for me. Currently, I am homeless and have very little access to good and healthy foods. I’m also currently dealing with heart problems that may be some form of heart disease.
Losing weight for me is not as easy as just joining a gym and eating “right”. And while I was not homeless when I saw the Austin doctor, I was living below the poverty line and as we know (or should know by now), eating healthily on food stamps is a struggle.
So, I do appreciate that this list exists but I wish people would remember that fat people also exist. Seeing this list with no disclaimer for fat people is hurtful. It feels like I and my fellow fat people are being ignored. Which is what society does to us, if they’re not ridiculing us, that is.
Back in 2016, a friend and former professor of mine was faced with housing related discrimination because of her disabilities. Threatened with eviction, she was forced to go into debt in order to avoid homelessness.
A complaint was filed with the Ontario Human Rights Tribunal over their refusal to accommodate her medical disabilities.
Unfortunately, the cost of justice is high. She’s raising some money to cover just the legal fees to date. Her situation is already difficult because of the cost of saving her home, but to add to it, she is one of the many who saw a massive cut to their pay thanks to the actions of Doug Ford.
The sad reality is that while the courts seem like an option for confronting obvious acts of discrimination, for many of us with disabilities, the cost is too high. Many of us have stories of illegal acts with regards to employment, or housing, or even just existing, and yet for too many of us, our only option is to swallow it. Justice is for sale.
If she is unable to raise the funds to cover the costs incurred to date, the case will be dropped which means she will have no recourse for getting justice. What’s more, the particular people involved in the acts of discrimination have other disabled people under their purview, people who will be directly impacted by the results of this court case which would send a negative message over whether disabled people have a right to have shelter.
If you are able and willing, consider helping out. For those of us who want to help but can’t afford to, a big help is making sure the fundraiser gets seen through lots of sharing to various social media. This is a great person who honestly deserves all the help she can get.
If you’re the member of any sort of minority, chances are you’ve run across this. Some friend, family member, or vague acquaintance ends up in a situation where they are confronted with their own inherent biases in some way, and they feel the need to run to you as the Representative of Minority Co. to explain the situation.
For example, imagine you have a friend name Betty who is the owner of a small business who is hiring someone to work as a part of that business. She has narrowed her choice down to two ideal candidates, who are identical in terms of qualifications. Both have the right amount of experience, the same great attitude and personality that fits into the team dynamic, in terms of “reasons to hire” the two are completely interchangeable. Except that Candidate A is abled while Candidate B is disabled.
Now Betty is not a Capital A Ableist. She knows that disabled people are just as capable as abled people, she truly believes that the world should be accessible, and has all the empathy for disabled people having a difficult time being able to find gainful employment. Betty has signed countless petitions to make accessibility more prevalent, her own brother even has a disability. Betty is an ALLY!
But Betty’s business is small, and even with the added help, she is hopelessly overworked. Candidate B’s disability will require the company to undergo some work to make it completely accessible. Maybe, it would even cost her some money to get some needed program or service, or to make some changes to the physical location of the business. She was already putting pressure on her budget by hiring a new person, the added finances would be just too much. She would have to close up shop, and it’s not really fair to her or to any of her other employees, or to her family, to jeopardize her business for the sake of one person. If they had been better qualified and the best option than of course, it would be no question, but the two candidates are completely identical and really it’s a coin toss one way or the other. Wouldn’t it be just as unfair to Candidate A to only not hire them because they’re not disabled? She makes her choice and then next time at dinner with her brother’s she lays the whole story out and asks:
“Can you understand where I’m coming from?” Continue reading “But Can You Understand Where I’m Coming From?”
CN: Mentions of Genocide
On Monday July 1, we celebrated Canada Day.
In a lot of ways, this day is really an excuse to have a BBQ, drink a bunch, and go see some fireworks. While you will get people dressing up in red and white and waving flags, possibly singing the national anthem, as often as not most probably aren’t even completely sure what specific event is being commemorated.
This year however, amid all the bustle of helping prepare the home for guests, I found myself spending a lot of time thinking about what exactly it is we have been celebrating.
Continue reading “Thinking about Canada Day”
If ever there was a motto for our generation, this would probably be it.
I’m so tired.
I’m tired of my news feed being one atrocity after another. Of each new headline convincing me that I’ve finally reached the peak of shock and fury I could feel, only to be proved wrong when I read the next one. Of watching the world seemingly falling apart at the seams.
I’m tired of listening to people make excuses while the body counts grow ever higher. Of quibbling over whether a problem really even exists or whether these are just a few bad examples. Of arguing whether genocide is too severe a word, or whether these here actually count as concentration camps. As though just the fact that these words could be applied isn’t horrifying enough. As though we shouldn’t be striving to stop things before they reach this point.
I’m tired of listening to people make excuses for why this act of violence is excusable and acceptable while condemning those just trying to defend themselves and others. Continue reading “I’m Tired.”
CN: ABA, violation of privacy, ableist slurs
Today I had an um, interesting, encounter with an Autism Mom(tm).
Continue reading “Children, Consent & Autism Moms”
It’s been a wonderful morning. One of my birds passed away last night, and I got to wake up to this pile of annoying bullshit in my inbox. Lately it seems like our blog has made its way over somewhere to a bunch of people who like to get all upset at the idea of the “charity cases” of society daring to speak out about not being treated like human beings. Then of course if we respond, we’re “having hysterics”. Comments complaining that people being forced to live through inhumane conditions like those in the Salvation Army shelter have no right to complain because they don’t pay for those services, or this lovely example of human compassion who didn’t even bother paying attention to what they were commenting on before making a point to remind me that I’m fat.
Are you being serious here? First off, getting your government check a week early doesn’t short you for the month. There is this thing called budgetin9, it is what most working people do. You should give it a try, you certainly appear to have the free time to fit it in!
Also it is hard to take claims of starvation/no food seriously from someone who:
A) is significantly overweight
B) who blogs about making and eating artisinal food items like expensive bacon.
This morning though, I’m feeling both in the mood to educate, annoyed for other , and a little bit petty, so douche wipe gets to see their name on here just like they wanted, while I use his comment to illustrate exactly why these comments come off as
- Disingenuous and pretty obvious that it’s not actually about what is written there
- Just another excuse to fat shame, poor shame, and generally make people afraid of speaking out about problems or interests for fear of facing assholes like this one.
Continue reading “How Dare you Be Fat!”
(Posted with permission. )
It’s 2 am, when suddenly you find yourself unable to communicate clearly. Your words come out incoherent and hard to understand, including in text. What do you do?
Continue reading “Could Have Died Because She Needed an Ambulance and was Deaf/HoH.”