Speakeasy #14

Welcome to the social thread at the Progressive Pub. Here at the Speakeasy, you can metaphorically put your feet up, grab a virtual beverage from your resident bartender (me), and socialize with the regulars. Gab, share recipes, share news, rage about your problems or the problems of the world, discuss impending vacations, share book recommendations, talk about your jobs and your families, your hopes and dreams, and pretty much anything else you want. Everyone is welcome, just be kind to one another.

Speakeasy #14

391 thoughts on “Speakeasy #14

  1. 353

    Does the doctor know that you’re a biologist and probably know as much as him, if not more so, about diseases?
    Speedy recovery for your children!

    *hugs* to everyone!

  2. rq

    Many happy belated wishes to Tony! *hugs* ♥

    Giliell (previous page)
    That is some seriously fucked up bullshit. Can’t your doctor just write you a clean bill of health or something, why is your tenure dependent on your health? (I find that kind of strange – you could be all kinds of genius and a good teacher, too, but if you’re fat… sorry! WTF)

    Good luck with the snow clearing, hope the neighbours get their shit together. 🙁
    And in stark contrast, last year I nearly got a municipal fine because I didn’t clear enough snow around the car that was parked near the street. For one day. Something about avoiding liability and snowplows and putting the onus on residents themselves.
    I know you get fines if you don’t clear your sidewalks in the city, too, but it all depends on how well the municipal police is patrolling.

    There’s many different kinds of biologists, and I’m glad to leave the doctor to her specialty. And I can appreciate her not writing out antibiotics at the first visit, but it had already been about 3 weeks at that point, and then got dragged out to another 3 weeks with no real treatment, so I dunno… Happy medium somewhere?
    Either way the drugs seem to be helping; jury’s still out on Youngest, next doctor’s visit on Monday.

  3. 357

    It’S not an issue yet, but it’s so fucked up in so many ways. They’re looking at ONE data point and then claim I had a whole bunch of healthy issues and mental issues and was basically unable to manage my life.
    Their recommendations are seriously dangerous as well. It’s completely against all current science.
    Of course I can still get a position without tenure, which has its upsides as well.

    Also, I finally got rid of the cough, but #1 hasn’t

  4. rq

    Well, they’re obviously better judges of your life happiness than you yourself are; obviously, there’s nothing more accurate than a rational opinion from someone who isn’t so personally involved with you. /s
    As for their recommendations, and 700 calories… Dangerous is about the right word for it.

    Yay for getting rid of the cough, mine own seems to have receded for now. Thumbs on hold for that one.

    I feel like a position without tenure would be somewhat analogous to me working as a freecontract employee to the police instead of going all in for the status and rank of a uniform. There’s perks to the second option, of course, but there’s also a certain freedom to the first that I am strangely loathe to release…

  5. 365

    Just popping in quickly to wish Tony! a Happy Birthday!

    Lots of work to finish up before company shutdown starts on Fri – including packing up my office since we are moving buildings during the shutdown. So, more chaos than usual. All while I fight a cold – not much sleep, fuzzy head.

    And 2016? Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

  6. 366

    I’m not worried about you. You’re the type of person that could have jumped on that truck and gave that terrorist what for!
    Seriously though, I know you live in a different state entirely, but it’s good to hear from you and know that you’re OK.

  7. 367

    OT: I’ve looked at the map of Germany and Berlin is its own state? So you live two states over? Weird.

    I sympathize. I’ve had a nasty cold for a week now. Winter is the worst time of (not counting the other seasons).

  8. 368


    OT: I’ve looked at the map of Germany and Berlin is its own state? So you live two states over? Weird.

    Berlin, Bremen and Hamburg are so called “city states”. They aren’t governed by a “prime minister” as the rest of us, but by a “governing mayor”. The remaining 13 states are “area states”.
    As for my position, there are six European capitals that are closer to me than Berlin. And I’m not even counting Vaduz.

    As for the worries, the little one insisted that we call my aunt in Berlin. And then she had a brilliant idea: We’ll just take the terror thing apart and throw away the pieces. I can’t find a fault with that plan.

  9. 369

    I love the idea of city states. That continuous history from the early middle ages, and sometimes dating back to the time of Rome, that makes a city autonomous even in today’s world is something lovely.

    And I’m not even counting Vaduz.

    My uncle works there!

    We’ll just take the terror thing apart and throw away the pieces. I can’t find a fault with that plan.

    Divide and conquer, eh? Clever. Very clever. 😛

  10. 370

    Hey, we’ve got nothing of not old history! I mean, Germany was kind of the last country to actually become a modern nation in central Europe, so we have lots of leftovers. At one time the border between Prussia and Bavaria ran right here….
    Also, nothing against your uncle, but a capital with as many inhabitants as my part of the city is, well, probably very European as well…

  11. 372

    It’s sure as hell getting were quiet in here this time of year.
    I hope you’re at least having fun with family and friends and not being sick at home like me 🙂

  12. 373

    I’m disengaging from almost everything (and just lurking) for the time being — between spending most of the week with my partner (yay), last-minute shopping (done), wrapping the presents (done, and without injury), and just getting ready for The Big Morning, I haven’t had the time or energy for much of anything else.

    Happy Holidays to you and yours!

  13. 374

    Hope you feel better soon, AlexanderZ.

    I’ve been kinda bummed cuz an old teammate of mine is in hospice, waiting to die of her cancer (Fuck Cancer!). And I don’t even know whether to visit. I don’t deal well with death, particularly, and I don’t want to go if I’m just going to blub and moan and be an emotional burden to someone already facing the worst.

    Also, had a stomach bug of some sort, and my partner wasn’t able to get here for a visit (she’s coming next week instead).

    So it’s been a somewhat shitty week.

    Hope you’re all doing well, and enjoying or at least enduring the season.

    Thinking of you all!

  14. 375

    Shit, Caitie. I’m so sorry.
    Not wanting to be an emotional burden is understandable and it goes both ways. Some people who are dying or otherwise suffering don’t want to hurt their loved ones and want to be remembered as they were and not as they are.
    On the other hand, feeling that one is or may be a burden to others is very often a sign of depression.
    Sorry if I’m stepping out of my place, but my point is that it is important to think about both the personal emotional well being and those of others. And as you know, this place exist to give each other emotional support.

    Happy Holidays!

  15. 376

    Happy Holidays everyone. I know I’ve been scarce. I’m getting back to a good place now though, and hope to be blogging regularly soon. I have a darkly funny post I’m going to throw up in a bit, but I wanted to wish everyone a Happy Holiday season. I may be silent, but I still think of you all and am thrilled to have you as friends.

  16. 378

    I just put up a new post that I hope might bring a smile to the faces of some (though it’s tinged with a bit of darkness since it relates directly to the horrible election we just had in the US).

  17. 380

    Major *hugs* for all
    Especially for CaitieCat, fuck cancer.

    I am almost totally ‘rupt, and totally exhausted. I got another job, and there’s a lot of new people, and it takes a lot out of me. Also, after Monday I have no days off anymore. *hugs* for all again.

  18. 381


    First check to see if’n your friend likes to have visitors.

    If so, by all means go and visit her but visit not because she has cancer, visit because she is your friend. Visit as you would any other friend.

    People I know who had/have cancer didn’t/don’t go around thinking about having cancer. They just live as they can just like anybody else. Even as the constraints get more and more restrictive. Your friend appears to have some severe constraints but is probably concentrating on what she can do and not upon the constraints. And, again from my experience (I can’t speak for others that I haven’t known), ‘facing the worst’ isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

    If’n you do go and visit, tell her “Hi” and a 🙂 from me.

  19. 382

    Tony, glad to see you around the place, we’ve missed you. Thanks for keeping the lights on for us. 🙂

    AlexanderZ, thank you for your point about depressive thinking, it’s something I hadn’t considered, and an important one. It can be very valuable to have that outside view, to see things without the fog of depression, so thank you for bringing it up.

    Dali, thank you too; I hope work finds a more pleasant way to treat you Real Soon Now.

    vereverum, too, your thoughts are very welcome. Part of my difficulty is that no one in my family gets sick. No cancer, no diabetes, no heart attacks. So I’ve absolutely no experience with someone I care about being in this situation. When my family dies, it’s generally down to simple senescence, just getting very old.

    But because of the way my dad was killed in front of me-at-15, I don’t deal well with death, and this is a known quantity (it became a major issue in my previous long-term relationship, when her father died and I lost it at the unexpectedly open casket funeral). There’s bad trauma there, and I know it.

    I have a friend who’s coming to our community centre today, and he’s survived two cancers so far (different ones! Unlucky and lucky at the same time). I think I’ll ask him what he would want, as well as your much-appreciated advice.

    Damn, I’m losing it now, just thinking of trying to figure out what to say to her if I go. Thank you all.

    Happy holiday, those as celebrate it. This is a wonderful little village we have here, centred on its pub and its congenial barman.

  20. 384

    Hugs to all of you.
    I hope you can find some fun and joy this Holiday season, despite, you know, everything.

    Fuck cancer indeed. Believe me, all I didn’t want for christmas was news that my aunt has skin cancer.

    Something really nice, though? My BIL and his boyfriend have a friend who had a big fight with her family and didn’t want to celebrate christmas with them but is spending the holidays with my BIL and his boyfriend. She was warmly welcomes at both the boyfriend’s parents’ place as well as my in laws because nobody should be alone.

    Now I’m reading the book my BIL gave the little one: No fear in Otherwayround, a story from the other shore*

    *Das andere Ufer = the other shore is a German expression for being gay. I just met Aunt Maria who has such a deep laugh and very broad shoulders.

  21. 385

    Happy holidays everyone.

    I’m sorry for your aunt. This year was absolutely horrific.

    I’ve decided to start celebrating Christmas by watching Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence. Seems appropriate somehow. And more important than going to a Chinese restaurant (though I’ll still be doing that tomorrow).

  22. 386

    We’re just home from Aged Mum’s. I think she enjoyed herself, but she’s going to be exhausted tomorrow.

    It’s a Christmas miracle, BiL showed up, and with my baby sister. They were still there when we left, so Mum is getting well and truly visited.

    I’m off to make a pot of decaf tea for the household and figure out what leftovers need to be eaten for dinner. Happy Generic Holidays of your choice, all.

  23. rq

    A round of *hugs* and *higs*, esp. to Cait (Fuck Cancer, indeed).

    go and visit her but visit not because she has cancer, visit because she is your friend. Visit as you would any other friend.

    I think that is smashing good advice. Be prepared to talk about death and cancer if it’s something she chooses to talk about, too. Some people don’t, they will avoid it, but other people will be so matter-of-fact about it, it’s a bit disconcerting. Not sure which is the better reaction.
    And remember take care of yourself, too. It’s okay for you to feel all kinds of feelings when going to visit her, and if she’s a friend, she’ll understand that, too. It’s a bit funny, when the cancer patient ends up comforting the (nominally) healthy visitor, but it’s been known to happen. Anyway. ♥ from me.


    Happy Solstice to everyone, and what with George Michael and Vera Rubin, I think 2016 is trying to slip as many as possible in right under the wire. So watch out, Carrie Fisher (you’ve seen Final Destination, right?)!
    We’re doing mostly okay over here. Healths are slowly improving, tomorrow is another doctor’s visit to… well, confirm continued sickness or maybe get a note of good health… We’ll see. It snowed this morning, so there’s that.

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