White History Month Volume 4

From Neil Armstrong and Christopher Columbus, to Benjamin Franklin and Theodore Roosevelt, the history taught in U.S. public (and I suspect in private) schools focuses overwhelmingly on the white people who have shaped our nations history.  That history has been spun in such a way as to overlook the many horrific acts committed by white people since the founding of this country.  In thinking back to what I learned in public school, the most barbaric event caused by white folks that I learned about was the Civil War. And that was a watered down, “the Civil War wasn’t fought completely over slavery” version (no amount of historical revisionism will change the fact that YES, it was fought over slavery). I recall learning about Christopher Columbus “discovering” this land, but not the rape and murder of Indigenous citizens at the hands of Columbus and his fellow colonists. I remember learning about various United States Presidents, but curiously, the fact that many of the early ones were slave owners was left out of teachings.  I certainly never learned about the racialized history of policing in this country.  In fact, in addition to the history of the United States being presented from an almost exclusively white perspective, it was also told in an overwhelmingly positive one.

When you look back at USAmerican history without the tinted glasses, you begin to realize that that history you were taught? It’s not so rosy after all. White people have indeed contributed to the shaping of this nation. They have performed many great deeds and been responsible for many important discoveries and inventions. They’ve also been responsible for some of the most vicious acts of barbarism one can imagine (and some you don’t want to). Given that most people aren’t taught these unsavory aspects of USAmerican history AND given that so many people whine about a lack of a White History Month, I figured what the heck. Let’s give ’em what they asked for. Again.

A 31-day calendar highlighting various people, events, and atrocities related to white supremacy in the United States.
White History Month 2019
  1. Senator James J. Davis, a Welsh immigrant who became Labor Secretary and established the United States Border Patrol and worked with Coleman Livingston Blease in an effort to curtail immigration
  2. U.S. Code § 1325 establishes penalties for migrants attempting to enter the United States unlawfully
  3. Coleman Livingston Blease was a white supremacist and pre-Southern Strategy Democrat who worked with James J Davis to curtail immigration and establish penalties for those who migrated into the United States unlawfully
  4. The Scottsboro Boys were 9 Black teens falsely accused of raping 2 white women in 1931.
  5. Harry Anslinger, was the xenophobic white supremacist who led the Federal Bureau of Narcotics (precursor to the DEA) and can be considered the first architect of the Drug War.
  6. No, Kansas Republican Steve Alford, African-Americans don’t handle weed more poorly than other races because of our genes.
  7. The Marijuana Tax Act of 1937 outlawed the sale and possession of weed, beginning the racist War on Drugs bc according to Harry Anslinger, weed made Blacks and Latinx people forget our place.
  8. The concept of race as a hierarchical social system based on the physical features of different groups–primarily skin color–was crafted in the late 1800s by proslavery forces to defend the institution of slavery, bc in large part, they felt they could not survive without African slaves.
  9. In 1963, white high school students became the Face Of Racism when they cursed Black students on the first day Montgomery, AL public schools were integrated.
  10. So many wyte people like to claim that racism no longer exists. Even if one ignores the existence of systemic racism, shit like the racist knickknacks sold at flea markets demonstrate that there is still a market for racism.
  11. No more racism? Then why did a Customs and Border Patrol agent in Montana detain Ana Suda and Martha “Mimi” Hernandez for speaking Spanish?
  12. On March 5, 1959, 21 African-American boys burned to death at the Negro Boys Industrial School in Wrightsville, Arkansas. All of them had been incarcerated there bc Jim Crow laws made anything and everything a crime if a Black person did it. Riding a bicycle owned by a white person? Crime. Soaping windows on Halloween? Crime. Homeless? Crime. Though the blaze was not caused by arson, imprisoning those boys to being with was racist as all get out.
  13. Make sure you’re sitting down for this one, bc it might be shocking (he says with a hint of sarcasm). In a 1971 interview with Playboy, John Wayne (yeah, THAT John Wayne) said, and I quote, “I believe in white supremacy“.
  14. For the fourth year in a row, the number of hate groups in the United States continued to grow, rising by 30% in 2018. But I’m suuuuuuure that it’s just a coincidence that this happened concurrently with the racist rapist in the White House fanning the flames of white supremacist resentment over changing demographics and immigration.
  15. It should be irrelevant that James Marion Sims is the ‘father of modern gynecology’. The 19th century physician conducted unethical and immoral experiments upon enslaved Black Women. Without anesthesia. The monuments to this monster (found in New York, South Carolina, and Pennsylvania) should be taken down.
  16. Waco, Texas. 1916. Jesse Washington, a Black youth of 17 years, was accused of murdering a white woman. He was found guilty by a jury in 3 minutes and sentenced to death. But that wasn’t enough for the mob of 1500 white people who beat, stabbed, dragged, and then chained Washington. He was then hung from a tree and burned alive as the crowd of white onlookers and participants (which had swelled beyond the initial 1500) cheered. (there are images at this link and the next one that are seriously disturbing. Reader discretion is strongly advised)
  17. Photographer Fred Gildersleeve–a real piece of work–took photos of the suffering and dying body of Jesse Washington, bc Black suffering was (and still is as can be seen by Hollywood’s love affair with slave movies) a great way to make money.
  18. Charlottesville, Virginia. 2017. Unite the Right Nazi/White Supremacist Rally.
  19. the Proud Boys are a white supremacist, misogynistic, Islamophobic organization
  20. Proud Boys founder Gavin McInnes is a white supremacist
  21. If you hold a pro-confederate rally (as the Hiwaymen and Confederate 901 did in February 2019), you’re racist. Also, your side lost, and you support traitors to the United States, so I hope you don’t go around waving the US flag. Bc your side literally rebelled against the United States government. Traitor =/= patriot.
  22. Virginia Governor Northam. Blackface.
  23. KKK hoods. Blackface. Mock lynchings. A USA Today review of 900 yearbooks from the 1970s and 1980s found a metric fuckton of racist imagery.
  24. Founded in 1894, the United Daughters of the Confederacy (AN ORG THAT IS STILL AROUND) bear a great deal of responsibility for perpetuating the ahistorical nonsense that is the Lost Cause Myth. Oh, and those visual eyesores and odes to white supremacy (aka confederate monuments) across the country? The UDC is responsible for many of them being erected. To this day, this group of traitorous white supremacists fight to keep these shitty monuments in public spaces.
  25. Hurricane of September 26, 1928.  A devastating hurricane (they weren’t named back then, nor was their strength measured as they are today) hit Florida on this day. In West Palm Beach, 600+ victims of the storm–all African-American–were thrown into a massive, unmarked grave. If you have to ask why this is racist, you need Intro to Racism. You aren’t going to find that here, bc here, Black Lives Matter, and I have no desire to argue in my own space why that is true.
  26. Sugar Land Slave Grave
  27. July 1866 New Orleans Race Riot
  28. The burning of the Colored Orphan Asylum
  29. Patenburg Massacre
  30. Black soldiers paid less than white ones in Civil War 
  31. the murder of Joseph Kahahawai


(Here are the previous versions of White History Month: V1, V2, V3)

White History Month Volume 4

It’s like police officers are trying to make people hate them

Sometimes you think you’ve heard it all.

Police officers open fire on an unarmed Black couple after the driver tries to get out of the car and put his hands in the air, bc it doesn’t matter if you comply with orders or not, cops are going to shoot.

Emantic Bradford was shot in the back of the head, neck, and the lower back by a police officer who felt either there was imminent danger from someone running away from him or that all Black men look alike.

Willie McCoy was asleep in his vehicle in the parking lot of a California Taco Bell, and apparently he must have had some sort of mutant ability to resist a bullet or two, bc his body moved while he was sleeping and the cops unleashed a hail of bullets, killing him.

Black baby is severely injured (trigger warning for that link, bc there is a graphic image of the injured child) by a flash grenade after police officers perform a no-knock raid on a home before ensuring they knew who the fuck was in the home.

But then you hear IT. The new story of anti-Black racism from police that just smacks your gob and gasts your flabber:

Police officer arrests Black man for “trying to steal an IV and sell it on ebay”.

Continue reading “It’s like police officers are trying to make people hate them”

It’s like police officers are trying to make people hate them

It sure looks like Wonder Woman supports Pride

Patty Jenkins, director of Wonder Woman and its follow up WW1984 (which for some bizarre reason they are not calling a sequel), released a colorful poster for the movie on Wednesday.


The sheer amount of color almost hurts my eyes. It’s just so over-the-top. It’s almost as if someone tried to steal the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, only for a leprechaun to stop them.

By beating their ass with the rainbow.

I was reminded by friends that the garishness of the colors is appropriate given the 80s setting of the movie. There’s something striking about the colors that some folks have noticed though.



Image Description: the bisexual pride flag on a pole, swaying in the wind against the sky as a backdrop
The Bisexual Pride Flag
Image of the Gay&Lesbian Pride Flag
The Rainbow Flag widely associated with the Queer community. Notably missing the addition of Black and Brown, which totally isn’t a metaphor for white people being viewed as the face of USAgayz.
3-D rendering of the Pansexual Pride Flag against a blue sky backdrop
The Pansexual Pride Flag

I haven’t seen Jenkins elaborate on any meaning (hidden or otherwise) in the image, so its possible the colors are not meant to help convey a message. However, given that they aren’t going to start campaigning for the movie until December, and this was released in June, during the commemoration of the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall Uprising, I’m going with “they chose the colors with deliberation”.

In viewing the color palette as a deliberate allusion to the various Pride flags, I realized that Wonder Woman is a great fictional character to show support for Pride. Whether she is queer herself as many suspect (I was reminded that the movie established her as bisexual), or she is not, the essence of her character is that of a person who would argue fiercely in support of queer rights. The following is a statement I can imagine her giving during Pride month:

Continue reading “It sure looks like Wonder Woman supports Pride”

It sure looks like Wonder Woman supports Pride

On best friends, Keanu Reeves, and why I was triggered by Captain Marvel (but still loved it)

Content Note: 

Death of a loved one



Hey little buddy.

Long time no see.

Or hear.

Or hang out with.

Or read new comic books with in the wee hours of Thursday morning.

So much has happened in the last decade (it’s hard to believe it has been nearly that long since I last saw you). A lot of it has been 31 flavors of awful, but not everything. There have been some bright spots. One of brightest of them has been the success of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.  It really sucks that you only got to see the big screen debut of Iron Man, back in 2008. Since then, wow, I really think you’d have been as excited as I have been, your inner comic book fan bursting at the seams. Scratch that. Your inner fan would have completely burst out of the seams and gone full scale cosplay (like you did for Where the Wild Things Are). I can easily picture you cosplaying as one of the Guardians of the Galaxy (a movie you probably would never have thought would get made, let alone be a financial and critical success) or even the Winter Soldier. Yeah, they made a GotG movie and incorporated Bucky Barnes into the MCU. They also made 3 Thor movies, 3 Captain America’s, 3 Iron Man’s, and multiple Avengers films. Hell, they even made a film about Ant-Man, which did well enough to get a sequel, Ant-Man & the Wasp. And that’s not all. Marvel got Spider-Man back (not completely, but enough so Marvel can use him in their movies). So he’s gotten incorporated into their fictional universe, with Tom Holland taking up the mantle of everyone’s favorite web-slinger in one movie thus far, with another coming this summer (in related news, following Disney’s acquisition of Fox Studios, the X-Men and Fantastic Four are back under the same house as the Avengers, though its gonna be a while before we see anything with them, according to Kevin Feige).

There are so many more surprises that you almost certainly would have loved. As a fan of animation, I think you’d have loved Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse. You weren’t around to read about the debut of Miles Morales following the death of Spider-Man in the Ultimate Universe.  Let’s just say he gained a sizable following and eventually made the transition from the comic book page to the big screen (albeit in animated form, which I grumbled about at first, bc HEY LIVE ACTION, but after seeing it, I’m glad they went with animated, bc that shit looked amazing). Perhaps even more surprising, not only did the Black Panther make it to the big screen in his own movie, but it became a critical and financial juggernaut that went on to make over a billion dollars. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought a Black Panther film would get made, let alone be top notch, and be such a successful movie. I could copy that last sentence almost verbatim to describe my thoughts on another movie that recently came out.

Can you believe Marvel made a movie with Carol Danvers aka the first Ms Marvel aka Binary aka Warbird aka Captain Marvel? Oh crap. I forgot you weren’t around for Carol stepping up to take the title. Well, she did, and she’s done the legacy of Mar-Vell proud. And that film she starred in? Like Black Panther, Captain Marvel broke a billion dollars (and counting). And just as Black Panther shattered long held beliefs about the viability of a movie with a Black lead (to say nothing of a virtually all Black cast), Captain Marvel showed Hollywood and the world that a movie with a woman as the lead character–a superhero movie at that–can be box office smash and receive acclaim around the world.

Living where I do now, it’s not easy to get out to see any movies. After wrecking my car back in 2013, I haven’t been in the financial position to get another one. I moved from Pensacola to a small town outside of Panama City, Florida. It’s one of those “wonderful” Southern cities that plasters confederate flags everywhere (as if a bunch of white supremacist, anti-American traitors deserve to be honored). I moved out here with my aunt and cousin (great aunt, technically) to get my bearings and try to get back on my feet. Thankfully, my cousin allows me to use her car on occasion, so I’m not stuck in this house. This city is verrrry small. There’s something like 3000+ people living here. We have 2 convenience stores (one just opened up a few weeks back), 2 dollar stores, and 2 small town supermarkets.  Buncha churches too. No gym. No swimming pool. One small bar with weird hours and a dart machine that doesn’t work. There’s just really not much here. For the first few years, I worked in Panama City, driving 45 minutes to and from work 5-6 days a week. Things were on their way to stabilizing when BAM, last July, the restaurant I’d been bartending and managing at (Bennigans) closed down. We had a feeling it was coming, but it still sucked. As if to add to the suckery, the vehicle my cousin was letting me use–a 2003 Dodge Ram (with a HEMI)–started acting up and becoming unreliable, so using it to travel back and forth to Panama City on a regular basis became untenable. That left me struggling to figure out what to do for work in this town that has precious little available.

Then Mother Nature decided the least of my worries was finding a job. On October 10, Hurricane Michael hit.  It was a catastrophic hurricane that straddled the line between a Category 4 and 5. We live 24 miles from Mexico Beach, which was ground zero. The hurricane decimated this region.  By January of this year, the death toll in Florida was 47. The damage of course was in the billions. There were no deaths as far as I know in this town, but there was a metric fuckton of damage. We sustained surprisingly little damage. My aunt’s home lost some shingles off the roof and some vinyl siding. And some trees were uprooted, while others were nearly snapped in half by winds over 150 mph. But the structure of the home was fine. There were no leaks and no substantial damage. Of course the power was out. 17 days with no power really is not fun. Relief efforts came quickly, supplying food and water for the community. We had two generators so we could charge laptops and cell phones (though no carriers were up and running in the days immediately following the hurricane so we had no way to tell people were ok and vice versa). More importantly, we could keep our refrigerators cold. By the beginning of November, things slowly returned to normal, but the job situation hasn’t. There’s just not enough opportunities for anything in this town and without a reliable vehicle, I’m pretty much stuck.

But enough of that.

Last week, I had the opportunity to see Captain Marvel. The only movie theater left after the hurricane is almost exactly an hour and a half away from us (which is one reason I don’t go to the movies very often). I know this bc–and if you were here, you’d laugh, bc you know how I am–the movie played at 3:30 and I left the house at 2:05. I arrived at the ticket stand at 3:24. Of course, having been a manager in a movie theater, you know that I wouldn’t have missed the movie, since previews go for like 20 minutes. I grabbed my popcorn, a hot dog, and drink ($24–geez; but you always told me that theaters make their money on the concession stand items), found the seat I’d picked out (it’s still weird to me that we get to select our seats) and settled in. And by settled in, I mean, got reeeeeeeeeally comfortable. These weren’t the old school theater seats. They were the luxury seats. Very comfortable. Soft. Wide. No cramped spaces. Quite nice.

A few hours later, the movie finished and I rushed to my car. I had to get there before the waterworks came. I held them back during the movie with ease bc I was distracted by the film. With it over, the emotional turmoil that I’d kept a lid on was boiling over and I didn’t want to be a crying mess as I walked out of the theater. The walk to the car seemed to take forever. When I finally got there, the dam burst. In a million years, I never would have thought a Marvel movie would trigger me, but Captain Marvel certainly did.

Continue reading “On best friends, Keanu Reeves, and why I was triggered by Captain Marvel (but still loved it)”

On best friends, Keanu Reeves, and why I was triggered by Captain Marvel (but still loved it)

Where is this great, exceptional nation “they” keep talking about?

The United States is a shining beacon of morality, setting the standard for proper behavior the world over, they say.

The inspiration to other countries seeking to transform their societies into thriving cultures.

Our nation is a source of hope for the hopeless and for those oppressed by tyrants yearning to breathe freely.

What happens when great men come together and devise the perfect system of governance? The United States.

They say this and more about this country.

“They”, whoever they may be, are so wrong that all the money of Bezos, Buffett, and Gates couldn’t make them right.

Continue reading “Where is this great, exceptional nation “they” keep talking about?”

Where is this great, exceptional nation “they” keep talking about?

Representation matters

The last several years has seen a shift in both the type and the quality of Hollywood films featuring African-Americans. For years, I have felt like there has been a very narrow range of movies featuring the experiences of Black lives and I’m not the only one. I’ve long wished we could see less comedy and trauma/suffering movies and more science fiction or fantasy or period pieces or thrillers. Seeing the wider range of stories and genres covered by the likes of Hidden Figures, Girls Trip, Moonlight, BlacKKKlansman, Straight Outta Compton, and Sorry To Bother You has been a joy.  These were all critically acclaimed and financially successful films that centered the experiences of Blacks and cast Black actors in leading roles.

For myself and many African-American moviegoers, one film has stood out from the rest. Not because the others listed (or those absent) are sub-par movies, but rather, because the Black Panther was the kind of movie we have long thirsted for. The first Black superhero of Marvel Comics got to headline the first Black superhero movie from Marvel Studios, with a Black director, a predominately Black cast, diverse presentation of Black bodies, an Afrofuturist aesthetic, complex nuanced characters largely devoid of stereotypes, a rich backstory, and a massive budget. A monumental box office hit, the movie shattered record after record on its way to a final global tally of roughly $1.3 billion. The movie was a critical hit with audiences across the globe, most especially with its target audience: those of African descent.

Image of actor Chadwick Boseman dressed as the Black Panther, (except for his helmet), gazing upon his hands.

In a country that has devalued Black lives since it began and has a long history of criminalizing Black bodies, it makes a certain amount of sense that our lives, experiences, and stories are rarely centered in Hollywood. After all, most of the people who have been involved in the industry were socialized in the United States. As such, they have been influenced by and have aided in the perpetuation of stereotypes and prejudicial beliefs about African-Americans. These racial stereotypes are present all throughout  the media, including the film industry and can affect the emotions, cognition, and behavior of viewers. Especially worrying is the effect of racial stereotypes on children of color, whose encounters with racism and discrimination can have a detrimental impact on their self-esteem and identity, as well as their physiology  (media depictions of racial stereotypes have an impact on adults as well). When a movie like the Black Panther is released, it has an impact, as noted by Yvette Nicole Brown in the Nerdist’s Impact of the Black Panther :

It’s a game changer in a way that I don’t think we can even quantify.”

and Dr. Erlanger Turner in his article on the importance of the movie to the Black community:

Many have wondered why “Black Panther” means so much to the black community and why schools, churches and organizations have come to the theaters with so much excitement. The answer is that the movie brings a moment of positivity to a group of people often not the centerpiece of Hollywood movies. Plus, what we know from the research on RES [racial and ethnic socialization. Read more on that here. –Tony] is that it helps to strengthen identity and helps reduce the likelihood on internalizing negative stereotypes about one’s ethnic group.

As illustrated by the following series of Tweets, Black moviegoers were not the only racial group in 2018 who were impacted by a film that centered their lives and culture:

Continue reading “Representation matters”

Representation matters

I think I’m done listening to Delilah

Image of radio host Delilah with curled blond hair, and left hand on left hip, in a black dress in front of an iHeart Radio emblazoned wall in Las Vegas
(image courtesy of Billboard)

Over the last few months that I’ve been jobless, I’ve spent many a night at home. I tend to keep the radio on to have some background noise bc I don’t have a television in my room and I don’t like having the volume on my computer turned up bc too many sites auto-play videos, which gets old fast. The only radio station I’ve listened to that I can regularly pick up out here in the middle of Nowheresville, USA is a local station that’s part of the iHeart network, and features Delilah Rene Luke. ‘Delilah’, as she is known to listeners, has been a radio personality since 1974, when she was 14. Her enormously popular, eponymous show (which has roughly 8 million listeners) begins at 7 pm CST and runs til 11 pm CST and is notable both for the atmosphere Delilah has created and her callers. She gives the show a relaxed, down home feeling, full of support, encouragement, hope, and words of love.  One of the hallmarks of the show are her listeners, who are encouraged to call or email the show to share their lives with her. They share stories of hope, joy, sorrow, and frustration. Every night, upwards of 50,000 people call hoping to talk to the famous host, but usually only 50-70 actually reach her (she screens the calls herself). Typically, the caller will request a song to be played as a dedication to a friend or loved one, but on a fairly regular basis the caller asks her to pick a song for them.

One particular segment of the show (one I suspect is quite popular) is the equivalent of the ‘Dear Abbey’ advice column. She selects a caller asking for advice on a subject, and a short time later, she offers her words of wisdom for the caller. In the time I’ve been regularly listening to her, I have heard Delilah offer a lot of advice. It didn’t take me long to notice a heavily religious slant behind not only her words of wisdom, but behind the whole show. Only recently did I learn that she is an Evangelical Christian. Discovering that was a light bulb moment. It explained why her guidance frequently came across as being of questionable merit. Rather than offering solutions to her guests that were based in reality and had evidence to back them up, her advice frequently, but not always, turns out to be some variant of ‘gods got the wheel’.

I usually tune out her recommendations when they are too god focused, and pay more attention when she offers up her personal, less divinely inspired solution for how a caller should handle a situation.  On occasion, I’ve written about her advice on Facebook. Sometimes, her wisdom is tolerable or even reasonable:

(note: The four sets of quoted material below are all reproductions of my own posts from Facebook)

Dude seems to be flailing in his search for an answer. On the one hand, he characterized his wife as “playing the role of the Wicked Stepmother to a T”.
On the other, he said his son is a teenager now (a recent development) and teens are “cr*zy anyway”.
So he seems to be blaming both of them, I guess. At any rate, he doesn’t know what to do, so he figured to call a popular radio show host with a hotline to god.

(not seeing any special qualifications that she has for solving his family problems. Yes, she’s a mother with several children, but without being part of their family and seeing the nature and extent of the tension, it’s really hard for anyone to say “AHA, here’s your problem”. In addition, I don’t think Delilah is a qualified therapist, so her advice wouldn’t necessarily be derived from evidence-based solutions)

To her credit, she noted something of importance–Dude referring to his wife as “playing the role of the Wicked Stepmother to a T”. Without saying “Dude, that’s a sexist stereotype. You really should treat your wife with more respect than reducing her down to a stereotype”, (which is totally something I would say, though there might be a little bit more ::ahem:: coarse language (“might be”? Ha)), she basically said IF she’s acting in this way and it’s not just his perception (or his son’s or both of theirs), then he needs to act to protect his child. Not having any further information–I don’t recall him mentioning any particular abuse his son experiences from her, for instance–I’m not really sure what he can or needs to protect him from. That’s a teensy quibble, not a significant problem, given her lack of information.

She then went on to say basically, that if it’s just his perception (or his son’s) and that’s not actually how his wife is acting, then they need to find a good family therapist. Which is what I think she should have started off with, TBH.


Sometimes it’s the most unhelpful, facile advice. The kind that would make you want your money back if your therapist offered it:


The fact that she is so beloved and respected (her Wiki page says upwards of 8 million ppl listen to her each week) amplifies the problem, bc listeners will hear her “encouraging” advice about drug addiction–‘move on, leave it behind’ (spoken, at least, with a note of care, rather than dispassionately)–and take that to heart, rather than seeking assistance and answers that have an evidence based approach to handling complex issues like grief and addiction.



Other times her suggestions are less compassionate and more authoritarian leaning:

On tonight’s episode of ‘No More Advice Delilah, Please’,
the radio personality gives her motherly advice to an 18-year old high school senior who is dating a Hispanic guy roughly her age. His parents have met her and are perfectly fine with their relationship. HER parents, OTOH, are anything but fine with it. Apparently her parents don’t want her dating outside her race. The issue at hand is that they have been dating for a while and she has had to lie to her parents about where she’s going and what she’s doing and she’s tired of doing that. She’s a star athlete, with great grades, is active in her church, and does community service work regularly. She feels she is a great child and that lying to her parents is antithetical to that status. OTOH, she cares deeply for her BF and doesn’t want to end the relationship. So Delilah, please tell the world:


If you know anything about the advice offered by Delilah, then you probably have some idea of the answer.

First of all, Delilah characterized the parents and their opposition to interracial relationships as ‘absurd’.

And. That’s. It.

I was screaming at the radio for her to call it what it is:

She couldn’t or wouldn’t do that. Way to beat around the bush.

The advice she offered kinda pissed me off too. She said “you live at home you have to follow the rules set forth by your parents”. Now, I get where she is coming from on this, and ultimately there is a lot of truth to that. Despite being 18 and an adult, the woman does live at home with her parents and is still in high school (I’m guessing this is a past episode or that this piece of mail came to Delilah after the school year ended), so her parents’ rules do have to be acknowledged.

But where I think Delilah went and gave her trademark bullshit advice is when she told the woman “you have to respect your parents’ rules and be honest with them”. Ummm, no. She is not required to respect her parents’ racism. And be honest with them? She’s an adult. If she wants to lie to her parents bc she is in a relationship, that’s her call. It’s not their business anyways.

Delilah basically told her to stop lying to her parents and suspend her relationship until she moves out of the house.

Me? I’d have given her advice on how to effectively hide the relationship until such time as she no longer lives at home (which might not happen immediately after high school and even if it does, going to college often happens with some kind of support from parents and that could be threatened). I’d have supported the woman and said she has every right to be in a relationship with the person she chooses. I’D HAVE FUCKING TOLD HER THAT HER PARENTS’ RULES ARE RACIST AS FUCK. She sent a letter asking for support and instead, Delilah tells her she’s up shit creek without a paddle for who knows how long.


Here, have another one of my “favorites” (where the word is spoken with as much contempt as possible):

Dude calls in to complain that he invited his mother to his college graduation months ago. She invited his father whom he did not want there.

Delilah tells the guy he cant change his mom from being codependent (dad is apparently toxic and emotionally unavailable & Delilah is somehow qualified to decide the mom is codependent over a phone call with the son). Nor can he change his father.

So her advice?

Forgive the father or the resentment with eat you alive.

There’s that toxic religious bullshit again.


Perhaps it _can_ consume you, but that is not a destined outcome and treating it as such is, once again, bullshit advice from Delilah.



Then there’s the counsel she gave a caller on tonight’s show. This crap took the cake and moved me firmly into the I don’t just dislike her and think she needs to be off the air, but I despise her camp:

Continue reading “I think I’m done listening to Delilah”

I think I’m done listening to Delilah

The Grinch in Chief

Merry Holidays!

Happy Christmas!

Almost anyways.  In honor of the holiday season, I decided to tweak the lyrics to Dr. Seuss’ ‘You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch‘, from the classic animated short ‘The Grinch Who Stole Christmas’. Hope you enjoy!

Image is a mashup of the current POTUS and the Grinch Who Stole Christmas, complete with red hat and red shirt with fluffy sleeves
It’s pretty bad when a fictional character can undergo character growth, while a real human appears unable.

Continue reading “The Grinch in Chief”

The Grinch in Chief

Brett Kavanaugh is neither a good man nor a man of great integrity

I believe Dr. Christine Blasey Ford. I believe her account of what happened to her and I believe that she was sexually assaulted and would have been raped if accomplice Mark Judge had not jumped on the bed. Thankfully, the asshole did, which enabled her to escape and hide in a bathroom. Of course, the man who would be the next justice on the Supreme Court denies this happened, which effectively means he is calling her a liar (as are many people, some of whom don’t seem to understand that victim testimony IS evidence while others don’t understand that the government is bound by the presumption of innocence, not civilians).

In the wake of the sexual assault claims against Brett Kavanaugh, the nation’s eyes have been upon him. After all, no reasonable person should want the perpetrator of sexual assault (and attempted rape) to serve on the highest court in the land. So of course rape apologists (who are not reasonable people) have been coming out of the woodwork to smear, shame, and victim blame Dr. Ford. Others have chosen a rather curious tactic of attempting to speak to the ::ahem:: “good name” of Brett Kavanaugh. There of course were the 65 women who wrote a frankly bizarre letter affirming the character of Kavanaugh. Aside from being a public relations stunt, the letter was meaningless. I’m sure there are plenty of people that Kavanaugh has never sexually assaulted. Which has no bearing on those whom he has sexually assaulted.  Then there’s former President and First Lady, George W Bush and Laura Bush, who continue to stand by their longtime friend, even after listening to Dr. Ford’s passionate speech. They think of Kavanaugh not only as a “fine friend, husband, and father”, but as a man of the highest integrity.

I suggest the 65 women as well as Laura Bush and her war criminal husband go spend some quality time reading about the true moral character of Brett Kavanaugh. They can start with the multiple lies Brett Kavanaugh has told, many of which were spoken during his hearing last week:

Word cloud containing terms that I feel apply to Brett Kavanaugh

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Brett Kavanaugh is neither a good man nor a man of great integrity

The world just got a little darker

A demagogue with the emotional maturity and temperment of a child sits in the Oval Office, wielding the power that comes with the highest office in this nation, but lacking the desire to use that power to improve the quality of life for those less fortunate than him. With a moral code and ethical core that centers himself over everyone else, his only concerns are how he can best enrich himself (and with no concern about the legality of his plans, nor their impact on the lives of the ~330,000,000+citizens of the country he is accountable to).

America’s favorite fictional African-American doctor, who spend decades entertaining some with his humor and wit, while terrorizing others with his predatory, misogynistic behaviors (and simultaneously chastising African-Americans for not being respectable enough)  received a 3-10 year sentence for one of a litany of crimes he committed against scores of women during his time in Hollywood. Even if he is given the full sentence, it is barely a fraction of what he truly deserves. I hope the only time I hear of him again is when it is reported that he died in prison, where he belongs.

Yesterday, on Capitol Hill, a woman spoke about her sexual assault and a nation listened. Recounting the events of a horrific night more than 30 years ago, Dr Christine Ford testified that she feared she was going to be raped by the man who is now within spitting distance of becoming the next judge on the Supreme Court. Fighting against anxiety, she laid bare her soul in front of a group of old, white men whom she knows have no sympathy for the violence she faced (to them, sexually harassing, sexual assaulting, and raping women are rites of passage all boys go through and are behaviors that are intrinsic to all human males). Standing on the shoulders of Anita Hill and countless other women, I suspect Dr Ford knew the male politicians before her were not guided by the pursuit of truth or a desire for justice. Living in a patriarchal society, especially one with the high levels of sexualized violence as we have, it’s probably difficult to not see that men like these hunger for more and ever greater power. More influence. More control over a nation they feel is slipping through their hands. And of course in this specific case, Congress has already established that they don’t care if 45’s SCOTUS nominee is a rapist or not. They won’t lose a single moment’s rest.

Since he became President, it seems like the nation is going through one crisis after another, with no time to rest, relax, on engage in necessary self-care. I’ve felt like that since January of last year. The last week and a half have seemed worse, with people–especially victims and survivors of sexual assault–having difficulty keeping up with breaking news. Not because they are uninterested, but rather because so often the news triggers memories of their assault. On top of that, for many people who use social media as their primary or only way to interact with friends, article after article is being shared and spread and talked about, making it difficult for people to socialize positively and without stress.

Into all of that came a gut punch today. It was as if some great cosmic force enjoys watching us suffer and wants to watch us break, because in addition to everything occurring around the nation, many of my friends and I found out that a dear friend had died. While reading through my Facebook feed is not anxiety inducing or triggering as it is for many other people, I have been a bit on edge lately. Even still, I wasn’t prepared for the ton of bricks that hit me when I just happened to see what I thought was a random post from a friend. As I sat there reading that post, the tears just started flowing and the ability to deal with anything went dormant as fuck. But I couldn’t stay silent. He was my friend and I had to say something, so I did.  And I’m glad because doing so helped me focus not on the extinguishing of a bright, passionate light in the world, but on the fact that that bright, passionate light existed and touched the lives of others:

Continue reading “The world just got a little darker”

The world just got a little darker