Kneel before me!

While checking the top stories in my Facebook news feed, I came across a post with this fun meme:

My super villain name is Devil Wizard and the Reviled of Knowledge is my title. Technically, if you go by my birth certificate (and any official documents with my name), my super villain name would be Red Wizard. Hmmm, I like them both, so which to go with? And what to do with that silly, nonsensical title?

What the heck. As a super villain, I can do what I please. I am bound by no rules. And so, to paraphrase Jean Grey (or, to be accurate, a Phoenix Force creation that copied Jean Grey down to her DNA):  Now and forever, I am the Red Devil Wizard!

Now what villainous acts should I engage in?

Robbing a bank? Nah. I want politicians, world leaders, and gods to respect me. To kneel before me. What god kneels before a bank robber? Gotta think bigger.

Oh, I’ve got it! I’ll mastermind a bunch of disasters in my quest to discover my arch-nemesis. Just think of the destruction and death I’ll cause. Wait-that’s not gonna work. I’m not keen on causing death and destruction. Not mention, the motivation of Mr. Glass was one of the things I disliked about the movie ‘Unbreakable‘.

Ok. I think I’ve got it. I’ll take over the world! I wonder what kind of competition I’ll have. After scouring the Internet, I have discovered my only rivals:

A pair of genetically modified anthropomorphic lab rats are my only competition for world domination? I’ll simply have my minions distract them with an endless supply of fruits and veggies. With Pinky & the Brain preoccupied, my victory is assured. From now til the end of time, the Earth belongs to the Red Devil Wizard!

Oh dear. That will most definitely NOT work. As fictional super villain Karla Sofen aka Moonstone aka Meteorite once said:

She’s right. Ruling the world is a lot of work. Far more work than I’m willing to put into a work week. I like sleep, lazy time, dancing, going to the movies, and long walks on the beach. No time to do any of that (or anything else fun) as ruler of the world. Crap. Shortest super villain career ever.

Kneel before me!