Once again, I’m here to share unique, offbeat, bizarre, or occasionally disgusting foods I’ve discovered in my travels on the internet. Remember, these are foods I haven’t encountered much (or at all), so while they may be familiar to readers, I’ve yet to try them. This time (and probably from now on), I’ll be adding my thoughts on each and then I’ll give my verdict on whether or not I’d try the dish. First up:
The OC Fair’s menu is always full of the most ridiculous and gut-busting concoctions. This year, however, they’re really going for it, serving—among other horrors—a caviar-laden Twinkie.
Found somewhere in the seventh layer of junk food Hell, the caviar Twinkie is simply that—a Twinkie slathered with “the finest caviar.” It comes from San Diego barbecue joint Chicken Charlie’s and it costs $125, according to the OC Register. The Twinkie is one of 30 new menu additions that you can chow on when the annual OC Fair kicks off this Friday in Costa Mesa. It’s also the fair’s 125th year, which might have something to do with that hefty price tag. Some of the sales will go to a good cause. The proceeds from the Twinkies will go to the Children’s Hospital of Orange County, according to the fair’s Instagram.
Growing up, I always loved the cake part of the Twinkie. Soft. Moist. Juuuuuust sweet enough to not be overwhelming. And that creme inside. Psych! I hated that part. Always ate around it and chucked the rest. So I only really like half a Twinkie. As for this uh, dish…I’ve never had cavi-wait. Hold on, let me check something out. BRB.
Mmmmkay, I’m back. Turns out that caviar and roe are essentially the same thing (I learned something new today! Go me!) and I’ve had roe (on sushi), so I’ve had caviar-kinda sorta. But since it’s cured, I imagine it would taste different from the roe I’ve had on sushi. In either case, I don’t think I want to try it on a Twinkie (or any sweet dessert really).
Rating: So not gonna try this one.
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When you get right down to it, the Delights are really just a cross between two American breakfast staples: sugary cereals and doughnuts. It’s a doughnut hole covered in the little crumbs that Crunch Berries leave in your cereal bowl and stuffed with a filling that claims to imitate milk.
Does it taste like cereal and milk? Not exactly. It’s more like if you covered a doughnut hole in Crunch Berry remains and filled it with some sort of weird goo that might’ve been warmed excess Cinnabon icing. (You forgot about the eerily similar Cinnabon Delights that debuted 2013, didn’t you?)
From the outside, the Delights basically look like egg-shaped balls of dough sprinkled with pixie dust. On the inside, things get a little weird. The squishy dough is pink, and the white goo gets messy if you don’t eat the whole thing in one bite. The combination of rainbow-colored sugar and sticky white cream can lead to a multicolored mess if you’re not careful, so definitely use some of those classy Taco Bell napkins or else you’ll look like you fought a unicorn.
Quite frankly, the Cap’n Crunch Delights taste pretty good. We might not work them into our regular rotation for fear of diabetes and a lack of diversity, but they’re definitely just under that top tier of fast food desserts. They’re way too sugary, and they don’t really taste that much like the cereal, but what else would you expect from Taco Bell?
Like the Twinkies, this one sounds…strange. Unlike the Twinkies, I like all the components of this one. I love me some Captain Crunch Crunch Berry cereal (part of a balanced breakfast…riiiiiiiiiight). I love the cinnabon type desserts and that delicious icing. Buuuuuuut (yeah, there’s a but). This seems way too sweet. This would be better if the filling were not filling, but rather, dipping sauce.
Rating: Even though I’m not completely sold on this, it’s intriguing enough. I’d try it out.
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Shifting gears a bit, I’ve found some recipes for corn-on-the-cobb that sound absolutely delightful. I’ve loved CotC since I was a wee little guy, though I’ve only had it baked with butter, salt, and pepper. Thrillist has a round-up of several CotC recipes from various sites, but this one takes the, er, cobb:
6 ears of corn
1 tablespoon olive oil
3 tablespoons butter, softened
2 slices bacon, fried and crumbled (very small crumbles!)
3-4 ounces cotija cheese, crumbled
fresh cilantro for garnish
This looks dangerously good. I’d probably eat all six ears in one sitting. Now I just need minions to prepare this. I put out an ad last month and no one is biting. I may have to add benefits like central air and heating to the kitchen they’ll be working in. And liquor. Yeah, that’ll do it.
Rating: I’d eat the hell out of it.
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Over at Indian Country Today Media Network, Dale Carson has created a list of snacks ranging from savory to sweet. One of them is:
A date? What’s that? I haven’t had one of those in a long ti…wait. This is about food. Ok. Well then, those dates don’t look appealing. They look like raisins, which I loathe (thanks mom, for putting raisins in my oatmeal as a kid; scarred for life was I). I also don’t like cream cheese, and walnuts are not among the nuts I like (leave it alone).
Rating: Gonna have to go with not gonna try this one.
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By now, you might have realized I’m a picky eater. And I am. I could make a list-a long list-of the things I don’t like. Most of the items I dislike are based on textural issues (tomatoes, mushrooms, and peas for instance). Thankfully my parents taught me how to cook. I learned the basics like boiling water for eggs or pasta. Baking or boiling potatoes. Cooking veggies in a skillet, oven, or microwave. Preparing basic poultry, beef, or seafood dishes. Relatively simple, but essential things basically. Adding to those lessons, I’ve picked up cooking tips as I got older, so I can prepare the dishes I want the way I want them. That doesn’t stop me from wanting to at least try new dishes, and this last eclectic eat is another I’d definitely like to try (and I think I’d love it):
2 1/4 cup flour
1/2 cup oats
1 tbsp baking powder
1 tbsp sugar
1 tsp salt
1/2 lb cold butter, diced
1/4 cup buttermilk
1/4 cup pure maple syrup
egg wash [1 egg, 1 tbsp water, pinch of salt]
3/4 cup powdered sugar
1/4 cup pure maple syrup
1/2 tsp vanilla
Preheat oven to 400. Combine flour, oats, baking powder, sugar, and salt in a bowl of a food processor. Process until combined. Add butter, pulse until butter is pea-sized. Move flour mixture to a bowl. Whisk together buttermilk, maple syrup, and eggs. Pour over flour mixture and mix just until combined, making sure there are no dry pockets. Turn mixture out onto a parchment lined baking sheet, form into an 8-inch circle that is 1 inch thick. Cut circle into 8 even pieces, brush tops with egg wash. Bake for 20-25 minutes, until bottom of scones are golden brown. Let scones cool 5 minutes before applying glaze.
To make glaze: combine powdered sugar, syrup and vanilla. Brush tops of scones to apply glaze. Sprinkle uncooked oats on top, for garnish.
Ok, I’ve never had a scone in my life, but they’re pastries, and I love pastries. So yeah. And I like the flavor of maple. It can be overpowering, but since one of my minions would be making this dish for me, I’d simply tell them to go light on the maple glaze or they’ll be forced to watch Real Housewives of Atlanta for 10 hours in a row. I also love oats. This all sounds like a great combination.
Rating: I’d eat the hell out of it. And probably go back for seconds…and thirds…