Woozle's Glorious Open Letter to a Crazy Christian Lady

jacob

Our own Woozle wrote an open letter to that Jesus freak who believes gay-friendly schools should be bombed. It has only one weakness: it’s not getting the audience it should.

Dear crazy Christian lady,

I’m writing because you seem like a nice person except for certain things you have said which frighten me a great deal. I want you to understand that those things are not true, and that you believe them only because you and your family are being used by people who want you to be afraid of reality so that they can control you.

There are certainly plenty of things to be afraid of in this world, but non-heterosexuals are the least of your worries. Most non-heterosexuals have been teased and abused all their lives; they know how it feels to be hated, they know what it feels like to be hurt, and consequently they are much less likely to hate or harm you, your family, or your friends than someone who has not had these experiences.

Do homosexuals and transsexuals routinely vandalize the property of heterosexuals, threaten their families, assault them in the street, rape and murder them? No, but the reverse is certainly true; there are entire web sites dedicated to the ever-growing roster of innocents murdered by the sort of hate you are nurturing…

Woozle goes on to take her down on her own turf. This letter might even make a few God-blind buggers think about their faith, using the Bible to shake them out of their culture war complacency. If you ever get into a debate with people like Crazy Christian Lady, this letter will be an essential resource.

Go make good use of it.

Woozle's Glorious Open Letter to a Crazy Christian Lady
{advertisement}

Is the Revolution Coming to America?

jacob1 Comment

For those who didn’t see this in comments, Last Hussar linked to his fascinating post comparing the Labour Landslide in Great Britain to the Republicon party’s U.S. implosion, and believes we could be looking at a similar moment:

Current affairs and politics geeks in the UK will remember the question that was on all their lips on the 2nd of May 1997. “Were you still up for Portillo?”. I am beginning to wonder if the same sort of thing may happen on 6th November 2008 in the USA. For those too young, too foreign (in a nice way- I don’t expect you to follow every nuance of British politics), or just too disinterested at the time, allow me explain. The Conservative (aka ‘Tory’) Government of the mid/late 90’s was deeply unpopular, and deeply divided with the Europhobes threatening rebellion, and Tony Blair’s successful rebranding the Labour Party into ‘New Labour’, basically standing, in an ideological sense, as close as they could to the Tories to pick up their voters promised a landslide. What no one forsaw was the complete massacre of Tory Top Brass that happened.

Through out the night (Counting starts shortly after the polls shut at 10pm, with the first constituencies declaring at about 11pm) more and more Tory ‘heavyweights’ lost their seats. Political parties in the UK tend to try and get their most important MPs to stand in ’safe seats’, ones they would never lose. But in ‘97 deep unpopularity morphed into tactical voting, with voters for a party that would normally finish distant third throwing their votes behind the best placed non-Tory.

Then at 4am (and I stayed up to watch it) came the shock news. Micheal Portillo, a man touted as a future Tory Leader, had lost his ’safe’ Enfield seat to the unknown Stephen Twigg (Labour). Portillo had been expected to be a leading player, possibly even a leader, in the wake of the defeat every one predicted. Could this happen to the Republicans, facing not only defeat for President, but both Congress and Senate.

What follows gives me hope. Last Hussar has an intimate understanding of both British and U.S. politics, and as such is able to provide a panoramic perspective. It’s good to see this election through other eyes.

Is the Revolution Coming to America?

How Republicons Pick a VP Candidate

jacob1 Comment

From the NY Times Magazine, via Digby, comes an inside look at the “thinking” involved when Republicons choose a vice president:

A friend had said to [McCain campaign manager Rick] Davis: “The way you pick a vice president is, you get a frame of Time magazine, and you put the pictures of the people in that frame. You look at who fits that frame best — that’s your V. P.”

This, my darlings, is the lavish care and attention Republicons pay to good government and doing right by America. This is how they put “country first.”

Go. Vote. Destroy.

How Republicons Pick a VP Candidate

Press Start to Play: Risk and Reward

Dana Hunter

Press Start to Play is a series of articles cross-posted between En Tequila and Modern Magic. A series about video games as an industry, an art form, and an experience.

(Please comment on the Modern Magic blog if possible)

From a gamer’s perspective, greater risk almost always leads to greater rewards.

From a developer’s perspective, however, apparently hand-holding is the way to sales, no doubt due to the softness of games these days (See “Game Over” below) but I still don’t understand some of the design choices developers make.

When a game takes away a big risk, such as penalties for dying, they also take away a big part of the rewarding gameplay. BioShock was the worst example of this, since whenever you die in BioShock, you almost immediately respawn in a nearby chamber, with all the regular enemies at the health you left them at, and you have all your gear. While, generally, you have a limited amount of health and power after doing this, there is no long-term punishment for dying. So once I realized that I could run up to a Big Daddy, beat him a few times with my wrench, get killed, and do it all over again until the rusty bastard is dead, it completely took away the fear of running into them. Seriously, when you come up against something that big your first instinct should be to piss your pants and run, but when you know there is no significant reason to, throwing caution to the wind is as simple as shooting at a Little Sister.

Image courtesy of Google Images
Image courtesy of Google Images

Now, its not just the player’s life that should be at risk. Another big mistake that developers make regarding AI partners (Killzone, pay attention here) is that friendly units should not be immortal. Why should I run in and risk my life, when I can just order my teammates to run in there and do all the shooting for me? Sure, it’s not as fun but if I’m really worried about dying, I can just step back and take a small breather while my AI buddies fall over, get back up, and enthusiastically throw themselves into the onslaught of bullets once more.

This is why I have worries about the upcoming Prince of Persia game. It’s a game where, essentially, you can’t die. IF you jump off a cliff, your AI teammate pulls you to safety, as well as healing you when you are “knocked out” (a state which is quickly overtaking the concept of dying in games) and even though the enemies also get a healing breather, it’s not enough of a setback to balance that you’re basically unbeatable.

There are certain instances in which I will concede that the lack of big-setback risks is a good thing. In some platformers, such as Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune, it’s nice that if I mistake some background hanging ivy art as a climbable surface and plummet to a painful, dismembered death, I can start from very close by, usually the last ledge my feet were thankful to rest upon, without having to go through a menu screen to slow down the flow of gameplay.

However, for the most part, the more risky an action, the more reward you are likely to feel for accomplishing it. In big ways, like making you immortal, and even just partway, like regenerating health bars. If you have a set amount of health at a given time, you’re not likely to want to throw that health away, so you’ll be careful, you’ll take your time, and you’ll ration any items you have. However, when you can take a few dozen bullets to the chest, hide behind a corner and wait five seconds for your health to regenerate, there’s no reason not to jump back out of cover. Yes, it does speed up gameplay and that is about the only reason why I would agree that it’s a good feature. However, I feel much more proud of myself when I make it through a dangerous situation with a mere sliver of health, surviving only on my wit and skill, then when I know I could have taken a few more grenades and died a few times before getting to this point.

Not only does this effect gameplay, but it can alter the feel, mood, and atmosphere of a game depending on what the consequences of your actions are. The Survival Horror genre, actually, best emulates this idea, especially when you examine its effect on the gameplay and how other games are different, but I’ll discuss that further in a separate post.

Meanwhile, let’s look at racing games. Again, if I can crash headlong into a semi-truck and explode in a fiery maelstrom of destruction, I should suffer more than a few seconds off my lap time. I notice that the sooner the game will let me get back on the track and race, the more reckless I am willing to be. Games that set me back, have long respawn times, or other consequences make me more careful, less willing to take a dangerous shortcut or attempt to weave heavy traffic, if I know that I’ll have to make up a lot of time if I fail.

Oddly, this concept of succeed-or-fail gameplay used to see its best use in old Role-Playing Games. Some RPGs have segments where, if you fail, the story goes on but with a different outcome, while in other games (Threads of Fate being one example) there are certain plot points where, in fact, you must lose, as there is no way to defeat the enemy. In these cases, the act of failing, even if inevitable, comes with a consequence that actually carries through with the story, and RPGs have made the best use of this mechanic.

In any kind of mission-based game, there should always be risk, the possibility of failure, and an ongoing consequence for it. It deepens the experience, and ultimately provides even more rewards.

Games are about succeeding over trials and tribulations; and everyone knows that the harder you work for something, the sweeter victory tastes. It’s a simple concept, if only developers would pay more attention to the act of playing games.

That’s my two cents on the topic. Check back soon for more updates.

“Think Deeper“

Press Start to Play: Risk and Reward

Happy Hour Discurso

jacob1 Comment

Today’s opining on the public discourse.

I expected the last few weeks of the election to be tough. I expected them to be harsh. I expected a lot of negative attacks.

I drastically underestimated the rampant stupidity.

McCain’s campaign gets overwhelmingly stupid responding to news that al Qaeda’s rooting for him:

The smart move for the McCain campaign would have been to ignore the al Qaeda message. Obama was unlikely to push it, and media attention on the story this morning was sporadic. But perhaps concerned that voters might take this seriously, and realize that McCain’s policies complement al Qaeda’s agenda, the McCain campaign scrambled this afternoon and hosted a “panicked” conference call.

McCain’s senior foreign policy adviser, Randy Scheunemann made two predictable points. First, al Qaeda’s message shouldn’t be taken at face value. Second, quotes from Hamas and Iran that seem sympathetic to Obama must be taken at face value.

A reporter noted the contradiction.

One especially fun moment on the call came when McCain adviser Jim Woolsey badly undercut the campaign call’s message. Woolsey said that Al Qaeda supporters who praise McCain are actually doing it to hurt him, because praise from al Qaeda is the “kiss of death.”

At that point, a reporter quite naturally asked whether the same could be said of Hamas advisers who praise Obama,
prompting Woolsey to pull a homina homina homina and dodge the question.


Look, this isn’t complicated. It isn’t even new — Richard Clarke, Ron Suskind, and others have written quite a bit on the fact al Qaeda prefers Bush’s foreign policy — it helps with terrorist recruiting and fundraising, undermines America’s global stature, and costs us a fortune — so it stands to reason that the terrorist network would support McCain, since his foreign policy is largely indistinguishable. The smart move for the McCain campaign is drawing attention away from this fact, not towards it.

Full marks for stupidly drawing attention to a subject that could cripple the remote chance McCain has to win.

Michele Bachmann stupidly digs herself an ever-deeper hole attempting to explain away her tirade on Hardball:

On the defensive over her controversial Hardball appearance last Friday, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) told the St. Cloud Times yesterday that she regretted suggesting that Barack Obama held “anti-American” views. But at the same time Bachmann was apologizing for her remarks to traditional media outlets, Bachmann continued to cast aspersions on Obama’s patriotism in a series of appearances on right-wing radio shows.

On Hugh Hewitt’s radio show yesterday, Bachmann declared that “Barack Obama’s views are against America”…

[snip]

On Mike Gallagher’s radio show this morning, Bachmann attacked Obama’s policy proposals, asking rhetorically, “Are they for America or
will they be against traditional American ideals and values?”…

[snip]

During her appearance on Gallagher’s show, Bachmann claimed that media scrutiny of her “anti-American” comments was a coordinated effort “to get my scalp on a platter.”

The intelligent response would have been to stop fucking talking. At least El Tinklenberg can count on riding this wave all the way to the election – Bachmann’s a virtual tsunami of supreme dumbassitude.

Not that that’s news.

For additional stupidity, check out Rep. Hayes’s as he “denies denying” what he said about liberals hating America.

We turn now to our favorite Queen of Stupid, Sarah Palin. If stupid were a renewable energy resource, we could keep America running into the 22nd century.

First, she has no fucking clue what a “precondition” is:

Gov. Sarah Palin has attacked Sen. Barack Obama for being “so off base in his proclamation that he would meet with some of these leaders around our world who would seek to destroy America and that, and without preconditions being met.” When asked by NBC’s Brian Williams what are some of those preconditions she envisions, Palin was stumped:

WILLIAMS: Governor Palin, yesterday you tied this notion of an early test to the new president. Would this notion of precondition –

PALIN: Right.

WILLIAMS: — that you both have been hammering the Obama campaign on. What — first of all, what in your mind is a precondition?

PALIN: You have to have some diplomatic strategy going into a meeting with someone like Ahmadinejad or Kim Jong-il, one of these dictators that would seek to destroy America or her allies. It is so naive and so dangerous for a presidential candidate to just proclaim that they would be willing to sit down with a– a leader like Ahmadinejad and just talk about the problems, the issues that are facing them. So that — that’s — that’s some ill-preparedness right there.

If she can’t tell the difference between preconditions and preparedness, I don’t think she’s quite equipped to negotiate with dictators.

And she sure as fuck isn’t ready to deal with the global warming crisis. She’s not even ready for a quiz:

Shortly after Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) chose Gov. Sarah Palin (R-AK) as his running mate, Palin said she is not one to attribute global warming to being man-made. Since then, she has walked that statement back slightly, saying that indeed, man’s activities have contributed to climate change but adding the caveat that “weather patterns are cyclical.”

When asked to name some specific man-made causes of global warming yesterday during an interview with a local NBC affiliate in Las Vegas, Palin couldn’t name one, and instead reverted back to her new talking point that it doesn’t really matter:

Q: I’ve also heard you hint that you do think there might be some man-made causes that are contributing to this. Can you describe what those are?

PALIN: Right, well what I have said about this is really the debate at some point, had better shift to, no matter the cause, whether it all be attributed to man’s activities or just
the natural cycle of climate changes in our earth’s history. We have seen this before.

It’s truly pathetic when a candidate for vice president can’t name even one cause. Any fifth-grader in the country should be able to do this, and so, sadly, the verdict is: Sarah Palin is most certainly not smarter than a fifth-grader. And she still can’t speak coherently. Did the above make any sense to you? It didn’t make any to me.

This could be why she has a hard time stating whether or not she’s an intellectual:

In an interview with Gov. Sarah Palin (R-AK), People magazine commented that “you don’t get to be governor without being smart” and asked, “Do you think you’re intellectual?” Palin responded, “Yehhh-sss”:

PALIN: Yehhh-sss. And you have to be up on not only current events, but you have to understand the foundation of the issues that you’re working on. … You can’t just go on what is presented you.

The correct answer, Sarah, was “Fuck no.”

Thank you for playing.

Happy Hour Discurso

Dana's Woodshed Part 2: Bigoted Buffoons

jacob6 Comments

I usually don’t filch my news from Pharyngula, considering how many of you are disciples of our Cephalopod Overlord, but George W. pointed this perfect pearl of deluded dumbfuckery, and I have to agree: it’s worth reproducing here:

You really don’t want to read about another terrifying crazy Republican woman, do you? Too bad. Here it is: a good Christian homeschooling mom who doesn’t like gay people. And by “doesn’t like”, I mean “wants them stoned to death and everything they touch blown up.”

A friend recently sent me this article about a “gay-friendly” high school. If we were living in a biblical society, homosexuality would be punishable by death so such a school would be unnecessary. Although I’m against the special accommodations, perhaps this new trend of segregation will protect straight kids from these predators. With any luck, some radical will blow up the gay school. No, I’m not condoning vigilantism–I’m merely saying that it would be poetic justice.

Firstly: I weep for the quality of homeschooling when the schoolers have no fucking clue what “poetic justice” actually is. Since gays aren’t in the habit of blowing up “straight” schools, and therefore aren’t likely to blow up a gay-friendly school by mistake, there is zero chance of poetic justice.

Secondly: I would like to thank this bigot for providing such a stark demonstration of the moral foundations of Biblical teachings. For those more moderate (read: less murderous) Christians, this should be a rather shocking wake-up call as to what we could expect if our society were, in all its particulars, biblical.

Thirdly: For all of you who don’t believe gays don’t face homicidal hatred from decent Christian folk, this should have just rudely ripped the scales from your eyes.

As a writer, I shouldn’t experience failures of imagination, but I have never been able to wrap my mind around anti-gay animas. I find it easier to comprehend the inner life of a shark. I’ve often found sharks pleasanter company than these pious folks who believe that sexual orientation is such a threat to civilization that gays should be subjected to a Holocaust.

And finally, a word to the author of this filth: you are most certainly “condoning vigilantism,” you fucktard. You can’t weasel out of it by saying you’re not when your entire piece cheers it on.

People like her convinced me God doesn’t exist. I could think of no reason why, if He did, and He was as loving as these morons claimed He is, why He didn’t turn them over His knee for a little tough love. It was only much later that the thought occurred to me that He might be the biggest bigot of them all, but by then, I had other reasons not to believe.

Right, then, on to our next bigot: Ames at Submitted to a Candid World recently published a fantastic piece on patterns in presidential elections, which is worth reading in and of itself. But it’s the comments I now direct your attention to, and in particular, one RandyT, whose pearls of wisdom include the following:

eletists like you are the reason this country is in such trouble. George Bush has done everything to protect America and you America hating types can only point out the problems not solutions. you solution is more government more goverment more more more. Why? Is it because you don’t have the courage to help yourself? you make me sick.

RandyT, I refuse to be lectured by a nasty, small-minded jerk who can’t spell and has such a poor grasp on proper capitalization. You make me sick, you inane lackwit.

Ames is a wonderful human being. He and his readers spent the thread educating RandyT, trying to talk him down from his ledge of stupidity before he could do himself an injury. We need a lot more kind and caring people like them. I wish I could be one. Alas, I am more of the Riggs school of suicide prevention:

Confession time: In my darkest moments, when I’ve been inundated by the relentless idiocy of wingnuts, religious frothers, and other assorted batshit-insane 28-percenters, along with the other 20% or so of this country still slavishly loyal to the Cons, I do wish McCain would be elected. It is for the same reason that Riggs took that suicide on a several-story fall: I hope it would be the short, sharp shock that would jolt them out of their stupidity. I want them to come begging for Obama’s “socialist” policies. I want them to grovel for his foreign policy. I want them to see that the destruction Bush began is only the beginning, and that the worst disaster we’ve ever faced isn’t an African-American in office, but another fucking Con.

But it’s not worth destroying America completely just to prove to these people how deluded they are. Besides, unlike a man having a very bad day, they’re too lost in their fantasy world for anything so small as the total disintegration of America to snap them out of it.

So. If Ames & Co. can’t reach ’em, and a good session with the Smack-o-Matic doesn’t correct ’em, fuck ’em. There’s enough sane people in America now to push these bigoted fuckwits to the fringes where they belong.

Dana's Woodshed Part 2: Bigoted Buffoons

Dana's Woodshed Part I: The Fruits of Their Fuckery

jacob1 Comment

Gather round, my darlings, and help me take a few deserving souls out to the woodshed. The Smack-o-Matic 3000 is about to get the workout of its young life, thanks to you.

Our first spanking is administered to Congresspeople Behaving Badly.

Let us begin with Michele “OMG Libruls R Anti-Amurkin!” Bachmann, R. MN, who was thoroughly and lovingly savaged by Cujo359 on Sunday. His post includes several items I hadn’t tracked down, such as polling data:

As you can see, there have only been two polls conducted publicly in the district. Both are by a Democratic polling organization, Grove Insight. Nevertheless, a couple of very interesting things are obvious:

  1. Bachmann, the incumbent, is pretty unpopular with the voters. In neither poll did she garner more than 42 percent. Even adding the margin of error to that total, she has less than 47 percent, according to the polls. As I’ve discussed before, that’s a troubling sign for an incumbent.
  2. Tinklenberg is growing on the electorate. While I don’t necessarily trust the magnitudes all that much, the trends in a poll are always interesting. Here, Bachmann’s is no appreciable gain, and her opponent’s is that he’s gaining ground.
  3. Even if no Bachmann supporters change their minds thanks to her latest bigoted tirade, her opponent Elwyn Tinklenberg is only behind by about 4 percent, with 15 percent undecided.

Michele has proven El’s bestest fundraiser. And what is El doing with all of that largesse?

Rep. Michele Bachmann’s (R-MN) Democratic opponent El Tinklenberg is taking advantage of the huge windfall of donation he’s gotten in the wake of Bachmann’s Red-Scare-inciting Hardball appearance — he’s raised $700,000 in the last few days, and counting — and is spending $188,000 to air this new spot introducing himself to voters:

Viva la differance! You’ll notice that instead of using his funds to engage in a culture-war style frontal assault, he’s attacking obliquely by demonstrating massive accomplishments. Between that, the relentless loops of Michele’s intemperate remarks, and what I’m sure is going to be a thorough beating by the DNC (which is gleefully unloading a $1 millon truckload of cash on this race), I do believe El might have this sewn up by week’s end.

Note to Republicons: please say or do more stupid shit.

…

Well, that was fast:

Bill Sali, one of my favorite nutty Congresspeople, makes the news again:

“Congressman Bill Sali and his campaign staff disrupted a NewsChannel 7 reporter and a representative for his opponent during an interview Tuesday in Downtown Boise.

KTVB reporter Ysabel Bilbao was interviewing Walt Minnick’s campaign director John Foster Wednesday afternoon. During the interview, someone loudly yelled and was laughing during the interview at the Grove plaza.

Bilbao and Foster initially ignored the intrusion, but quickly noticed the source of the heckling — Sali and members of his staff. (…)

Foster said he saw Sali making faces at him and holding up “bunny ears.””

Sali, apparently, hasn’t advanced past third grade insults. Of course, comparing him to third graders is an unforgivable insult to elementary schoolers everywhere – I seriously doubt many of them believe crude oil grows on trees, or demonstrate dramatic ignorance about the Founding Fathers’ views on religious diversity in Congress. Unless, of course, they’re raised by people like Bill Sali, who is so popular among his colleagues that some wish to definistrate him.

So how are those stunningly stupid personal qualities and remarkably infantile public behavior working out for him? Oh, deary me:

Poll: Democrat Leading Bill Sali

A new SurveyUSA poll shows House candidate Walt Minnick (D-ID) leading Rep. Bill Sali (R) by a 51%-45% margin. This deep-red district should be off-limits to Democrats, but Sali is a controversial figure due to various personal antics — most recently he walked up while a Minnick staffer was speaking to a reporter, and proceeded to loudly heckle the staffer and give him the bunny ears. [emphasis added]

I do believe we’re standing at the threshold of a new political era. Dems will no longer have to run attack ads, but merely stand bemusedly by while Cons attack themselves, and wonder what to do with the mountains o’ cash generated thereby.

Dana's Woodshed Part I: The Fruits of Their Fuckery

Walking the Walk: Palin Opens Mouth, Inserts Foot

jacob

Sarah Palin’s talent for fucking herself over every time she opens her mouth is truly mind-boggling:

“Here’s the difference between John McCain and our ticket and Barack Obama and Joe Biden,” she said. “We don’t just talk the talk, we walk the walk. And that’s why in not just that first speech, but in every speech I give, I talk about being an advocate and a friend in the White House for our families who have members who have these special needs.” [emphasis added]


When asked by “gotcha” journalist Shelby Sheehan of KRNV just how she and McCain planned to walk the walk they were talking about, Palin tripped over her own feet:

Alaska Governor and Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin says autism is an issue “near and dear” to her heart and she can’t wait to get to work helping more than 5,000 Nevada families affected by it. However, when pressed, she was unable to provide details on a plan to do that.

[snip]

“There are a lot of wasteful expenditures in the federal (government),” Palin said. “Let’s get rid of those and put them into strengthening NIH (National Institutes of Health) and these other areas where we can help our kids with autism.”

Palin did not name any specific expenditure she wanted to cut in favor of funding for autism research or services, nor did she name what specific programs she’d like to fund in order to help those families.

Sarah Palin walking the walk: epic fucking fail.

Shelby Sheehan perpetrating journalism upon her: priceless.

(Tip o’ the shot glass to Kula2316 at Daily Kos, who also found the best quote o’ the day: “Widespread antagonism toward Obama in mid August gave way in September to overwhelming horror over McCain picking Palin as his vice presidential nominee.” I’m sure I have no idea why undecided voters in Florida would feel that way. Heh.)

Walking the Walk: Palin Opens Mouth, Inserts Foot

The British Say It Best

jacob3 Comments

I’ve always loved the British talent for dismemberment by seeming compliment. Observe:

Boris Johnson, the lavishly Tory Mayor of London …

However well-intentioned it was, the catastrophic and unpopular intervention in Iraq has served in some parts of the world to discredit the very idea of western democracy.

The recent collapse of the banking system, and the humiliating resort to semi-socialist solutions, has done a great deal to discredit – in some people’s eyes – the idea of free-market capitalism.

Democracy and capitalism are the two great pillars of the American idea.

To have rocked one of those pillars may be regarded as a misfortune.

To have damaged the reputation of both, at home and abroad, is a pretty stunning achievement for an American president.

Masterful. I really couldn’t have said it better myself.

The British Say It Best