Really Terrible Bible Stories: All the Excerpts!

Your Children’s Bible never told you what a remarkable collection of rapes, murders, genocides, nonsensical rules, and tyrannical bullshit lies within the Christian holy book! Here is a plain reading of the Bible, unsanitized for the kiddies. The Good Book has some really terrible stories to tell: read them today!

Image is a painting of Abraham, holding a knife to a screaming Isaac's throat, looking incomprehendingly at the cherub that's trying to get his attention. Above is the title Really Terrible Bible Stories. Below is vol. I Genesis, Dana Hunter.

Really Terrible Bible Stories Excerpt: Introduction

Really Terrible Bible Stories Excerpt: “Naw, Man, She’s My Sister! No, Really.”

Really Terrible Bible Stories Excerpt: Burn Your Boy for God

Really Terrible Bible Stories Excerpt: Biblical Family Values Parte the Firste: Sibling Rivalry

Really Terrible Bible Stories Excerpt: The Jacob Family Sexploits

Really Terrible Bible Stories Excerpt: Biblical Family Values Parte the Thirde: Erecting Phallic Symbols

 

Really Terrible Bible Stories vol. I: Genesis is available worldwide at Amazon:

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Image is the cover for Really Terrible Bible Stories vol. 2: Exodus. The painting is Charles Sprague Pearce's Lamentations over the Death of the First-Born of Egypt, showing an Egyptian man and woman weeping over the coffin of their infant.

Really Terrible Bible Stories vol. 2: Exodus Excerpt: Introduction

Really Terrible Bible Stories vol. 2: Exodus Excerpt: And Now For My Next Act…

Really Terrible Bible Stories vol. 2: Exodus Excerpt: Foolin’ with Pharaoh

Really Terrible Bible Stories vol. 2: Exodus Excerpt: A Singsong to Appease the Narcissistic Tyrant

Really Terrible Bible Stories vol. 2: Exodus Excerpt: How to Buy Slaves (and Other Tips for Godly Living) Part I

Really Terrible Bible Stories vol. 2: Exodus Excerpt: How to Buy Slaves (and Other Tips for Godly Living) Part II

Really Terrible Bible Stories vol. 2: Exodus Excerpt: God’s Extensive, Expensive Interior Décor Requirements for Homeless Refugees Part I

Really Terrible Bible Stories vol. 2: Exodus Excerpt: God’s Extensive, Expensive Interior Décor Requirements for Homeless Refugees Part II

Really Terrible Bible Stories vol. 2: Exodus Excerpt: The Infamous Golden Calf Episode

Really Terrible Bible Stories vol. 2: Exodus is now available worldwide at Amazon:

United States  ♦  Canada  ♦  Mexico  ♦  Brazil  ♦  United Kingdom  ♦  Germany  ♦  France  ♦  Spain ♦  Italy  ♦  Netherlands  ♦  India  ♦  Japan  ♦  Australia

 

Image is Really Terrible Bible Stories vol. 3: Leviticus cover. The background is black. Really Terrible is in slasher-style red font, Bible Stories in a white gothic script beneath. The painting beneath it is Tissot's "The Dead Bodies Carried Away," which shows two men in white robes carrying bodies over their shoulders out of the Israelite camp. Below is vol. 3: Leviticus in the same gothic script.

Really Terrible Bible Stories vol. 3: Leviticus Excerpt: God’s Exhaustive Instructions for Sacrificial Barbecues

Really Terrible Bible Stories vol. 3: Leviticus Excerpt: Unholy Fire?! You’re Fired!

Really Terrible Bible Stories vol. 3: Leviticus Excerpt: God Hates Mothers

 

Really Terrible Bible Stories vol. 3: Leviticus is now available worldwide at Amazon:

United States  ♦  Canada  ♦  Mexico  ♦  Brazil  ♦  United Kingdom  ♦  Germany  ♦  France  ♦  Spain ♦  Italy  ♦  Netherlands  ♦  India  ♦  Japan  ♦  Australia

Pick up your copies today!

 

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