Some Alternatives to Punching Nazis

Before I begin talking about alternatives to literally punching Nazis, I just want to state for the record that I am 100% in favor of punching Nazis. We tried using our words, and all they’ve done is allowed the mealy-mouthed quisling center to bloviate at us about “going high when they go low,” as if punching someone who is advocating for genocide is actually the greater of two evils. (Newsflash: it is not.)

We used our words, and continue to use our words, and what we have ended up with is Nazis in the state houses, Nazis on school boards, Nazis on Capitol Hill, and Nazis in the White House. We now have a Nazi puppet dancing on their strings in the Oval Office. We have Nazis everywhere, advocating state violence and white supremacy and ethnic cleansing. I don’t think words alone are enough.

So, yes, I am here for this person who so valiantly punched a Nazi:

I am here for the anti-fascists who’ve made it their mission to stop Nazi violence with violence. I’m generally a pacifist, but when people are already hurting and killing us, I really have no problem with meeting their violence with necessary force.

I am here for self-defense. Sometimes, the best self-defense is to throw the first punch.

However. Not all of us can punch Nazis.

I, for instance, cannot punch Nazis. I haven’t any upper body strength. Also, I don’t get out much. I mean, if it comes to it, I could throw some elbows, and I do plan to wear boots more often in case any Nazi-stomping becomes necessary, but I am not really built or trained for physical confrontation.

Lots of us aren’t. So here are some things we can do instead of literally punching Nazis:

1. We can contribute to the legal funds for those arrested and charged with punching Nazis.

2. If we have legal training, we can represent Nazi punchers pro bono or at a reduced rate.

3. We can show our support for stopping Nazis by any means necessary by not wringing our hands about the awful, awful violence done to the poor, defenseless man who is just calling for genocide.

4. We can make cold compresses for those whose knuckles got bruised punching Nazis.

5. We can let the Nazis and Nazi sympathizers among our colleagues and families know that being a Nazi is not a good or safe thing to be.

6. We can remember that this country has a proud tradition of punching Nazis.

Cover of Captain America #1, showing Cap punching out Adolf Hitler.

7. We can remind people on the regular that the true heroes of WWII were the ones who fought Nazis, not the ones who called for respectful dialogue while the Nazis geared up to conquer and kill lots of people.

8. We can fight Nazis with our votes, with our protests, with our donations to groups that are fighting Nazis in the courts and in the government.

9. We can shelter the victims of Nazi violence.

10. We can take self-defense classes so that we are less likely to end up victims to Nazi violence.

I’m sure you can think of plenty more alternatives to punching Nazis for those of us unsuited for the task.

As for those of you who can and will punch Nazis when said punching is called for, I salute you. Also, I have a bag of frozen corn ready for you.

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Some Alternatives to Punching Nazis

2 thoughts on “Some Alternatives to Punching Nazis

  1. 2

    Just remember that getting into fights can lead to serious injuries and possible arrest. You might end up in jail and paying for the Nazi’s medical bills.

    If you’re being attacked, fight back by any means necessary.

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