Month: January 2011

International Talk Like HAL Day 2011

Brianne Bilyeu, , 173 Comments

If you’ve seen any of the Space Odyssey films, then you know who HAL is.

File:Hal-9000.jpg

It’s okay!  It’s okay! It’s just a picture.  HAL is NOT inside your computer*

At this very silly and fun website HAL will tell you all about the 9000 series of computer, why January 12th is International Talk Like HAL Day, and he’ll explain his mission. HAL has thoughtfully included some .wav files so that you can practice emulating him in preparation of a big day of talking like HAL.

Thanks to @briandgregory for the heads up about Talk Like HAL Day.

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*HAL actually IS your computer.  Mwahahaha!

International Talk Like HAL Day 2011
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Nerd Love

Brianne Bilyeu48 Comments

I saw this over at NotAlwaysRight.com while waiting for samples to thaw.  I love you internet.

Love A Jedi Shall Know

Grocery Store | Austin, TX, USA

(I was at work and I saw two girls from my college I knew as acquaintances, but not as much more than that. I had a crush on one of them as she was really pretty and seemed nice for the most part. I watched as she and her friend approached the register.)

My Crush: “No, you’re wrong! I’m telling you, he never said that!”

(I assumed they were gossiping about something until I listened a little more to the conversation.)

Her Friend: “No, he did! He totally did! We watched it last night, stupid!”

My Crush: “Obi-Wan never says, ‘I love you, Anakin’. The line is ‘You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you!’.”

Her Friend: “No!”

My Crush: *turns to me* “Oh hey [my name]! What’s up?”

Me: “Not much. I’m good. And you’re right; Obi-Wan’s line was ‘You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you’.”

My Crush: “Oh, my God, thank you!” *turns to her friend* “And you call yourself a Star Wars fan.”

(Her friend scowled, but they paid and said goodbye. I watched as they got to the automatic doors. Her friend pretendsed to use ‘The Force’ on them. Suddenly, my crush jumped in front of her.)

My Crush: “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”

(I walked over and asked her out. We got married a month ago.)

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Nerd Love

HRNK! Funny Photos

Brianne Bilyeu, 121 Comments

I have two funny photos to share this morning.  These are good way to start the day.

Although I have no specific affiliation with or affection for bagpipes or Scotland, this picture found on a friend’s Facebook page made me laugh so hard I thought I might pee.  Well, I mean, I *did* pee.  But that was over an hour later and in a wholly deliberate place and manner.

This second picture is a photo I took at a liquor store in Roseville, MN.  I want to know where the third person is for the Menage à Trois wine; There’s only two in the advert.  Is that why the Menage à Trois is being sold for the low, low price of $8.98?  (Why couldn’t it have been 8.69?  WHY!?)

Okay, okay.  I did a little google research, and apparently the wine takes its name from the fact that it mixes three “varietals”, Chenin Blanc, Chardonnay and Moscato (in the case of this blend).  The two dancers are the logo for the company that makes the wine, “Folie à Deux”, which is a cute name for a company, because in psychology, folie à deux is a “a condition in which symptoms of a mental disorder, such as the same delusional beliefs or ideas, occur simultaneously in two individuals who share a close relationship or association.”  It’s even cuter because the winery was started by two psychologists.

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PS  – I’d love it if you would vote for your favorite First World Problem in this Biodork poll. Your vote will help determine which of the finalists wins a $25 @Kiva giftcard!

HRNK! Funny Photos

Cross-Country Connections: Five Minutes from Home

Brianne Bilyeu130 Comments

And, we’re back with the weekly Cross-Country Connection!

Cross-Country Connections is a biodork weekly blog entry dedicated to telling stories in pictures of three family members – me, my sister and Mom – living in very different locations across the country. Every week we choose a different theme and then take a picture of something in our area that fits the theme. This week’s theme is Five Minutes from Home.

From me in Minneapolis, MN:

This is the Midtown Greenway, a former railroad corridor in south Minneapolis that was transformed into a 5.5 mile-long paved bike and pedestrian path.  The Greenway really is green – and quite a bit busier – when it’s not covered in snow.

From Mom in Carbondale, IL:

This is a store front in what remains of the old downtown Carbondale.  Longbranch Cafe is a vegetarian restaurant and coffee shop.  I have researched books for whole papers in the back room and the fact that their wi-fi is sketchy is a plus.  Food usually makes you forget that there’s no meat involved.

From Erin in Bellingham, WA:

This is a view that I see every time I leave my apartment complex: The Canadian Rockies (Ralph thinks these are the “Golden Ears” peaks of Mt. Blanchard, but I think that’s too far away to be possible).  It’s a little silly, but I’m still astounded by how close I am to Canada.  These peaks are probably 50-70 miles away and they look like I could walk to the foothills of them (Additionally, note the clear blue sky… in the Pacific Northwest… in January.  Color me shocked).

Cross-Country Connections: Five Minutes from Home

First World Problems Poll

Brianne Bilyeu126 Comments

The First World Problems Contest is closed!

Awesome FWP comic from the awesome website Sticky Comics

I am happy to announce that I have narrowed the entries down to my top five favorites – which was a lot more difficult that I thought it would be (<— FWP?).

There were 16 unique entries by 14 commenters.  That’s great!  Thank you to everyone who stopped by, and an extra big YOU RAWK! to all of you who put your odd, humorous, wry, thoughtful and ultimately human First World Problems out there for the entire world to see (the infinitesimal segment of the world that visits this blog, anyway).

Below I’ve copied the finalists’ stories as they were posted in the comments.  After reading through them I invite you to cast a vote in the poll at the bottom of the page.

Please only one vote per person, but feel free to refer friends to vote for you here.  The poll will close at 8pm on Wednesday evening.  The entry that receives the most votes by that time will win the $25 Kiva.org gift certificate!

Happy Voting!

First World Problems Finalists

Madeline – Butt-Sushi or Panini?

Today, in the well-stocked cafeteria at my comfortable, well-paying job, someone took the sushi I wanted just seconds before I got there! It was either the butt-sushi that was left, or a panini for me!

Michelle – Carl Kassell Withdrawl

My iPod tragically went missing just before Christmas. Despite searching the car, house, and nearby snowbanks, it remains MIA.

Yes, I still have CDs (I love my albums). Yes, I can still listen to my Macbook at home.

But I can’t get my Wait, Wait – Don’t Tell Me! podcast fix in my car.

Life without Carl Kassell. #firstworldproblems

Erratapage – Diet Coke Dilemma

The worst day of last year began quite simply. I was out of diet coke. No problem. I had to get some gas, so I took the car up to St. Francis to fill up and buy diet coke. Got to the C-store, and they had no cold cans of diet coke. I went back home and got dressed, and got back in the car to go into the office. I stopped at the C-store in Anoka for a donut and a diet coke. There were no cold cans of diet coke. At this point, I’m wondering if I’m going to have to settle for a cold bottle or if I’m going to have to buy a warm 12-pack. I get back in the car and drive to work, stopping at the local stop and rob near my office so that I don’t go to work under caffeinated. I go to the refrigerated coolers, and start looking for the diet coke cans. They were out. I showed up at the office with a 20-ounce bottle significantly unhappier than I had a right to.

Ela Darling – Too Tired to be Adored

My first world problem: my head hurts because too many people bought me drinks last night and I had to wake up at 6:00 to get ready for the Adult Entertainment Expo. I didn’t want to leave the warm white cocoon of my comped hotel room to be coiffed and made up and styled and dressed to spend the day signing things for horny porn fans.

bill – Bananas: Under-ripe/Over-ripe

I like to have a banana every day and they only grow commercially 4000 miles away, so I have to buy them at the grocery store. When I buy them, they aren’t ripe enough to my liking for the first two days. Then they are perfect for about 4 days. Then they are overripe. But I buy them in bunches of 6 or 7. So some of every bunch, I have to eat either too ripe or too green.


First World Problems Poll

First World Problems Contest

Brianne Bilyeu, 22 Comments

We are so lucky and have so much.

I, personally, have lived a charmed life.  That doesn’t mean I don’t have problems and complaints, but I’d say my frustrations are pretty minor.

For instance, this morning I stepped in cat vomit as I was getting ready for work.  While untimely and disgusting, stepping in cat upchuck hasn’t damaged me in any apparent permanent manner.  When it happened I had instant access to water and soap to wash my foot, a clean pair of socks, and a designated rag, scrubby brush and special carpet cleaner to make the watery, hairball-filled, partially-digested food mess disappear.

Then there are the frustrating, petty experiences that I can’t complain about, because to do so would would make me look like total a total asshole.  Like my annoyance this morning at having to settle for a Cherry slushie because the regular Coke slushie machine was broken.  What asshole would even put a “problem” like that in print?  Oh…

A broken slushie machine is an example of a First World Problem.

Urban Dictionary defines First World Problems as “Problems from living in a wealthy, industrialized nation that third worlders would probably roll their eyes at.”

Aw, crap, I don’t know which 1 carat diamond encrusted platinum ring to buy!

In my far from exhaustive Bing search I found several websites that catalog examples of First World Problems, a Facebook site, and a Twitter hashtag devoted to these usually intentionally funny anecdotes of the issues that nag at those of us living relatively high on the hog.

As human beings we tend to get wrapped up in ourselves, but we also know that somewhere someone else has it harder than us.  The thing that I like about highlighting our First World Problems is that it illustrates just how silly we can get about our day-to-day experiences, and it serves to remind me that there are bigger problems to address.

So let’s address them – at least in a small way – and have a good laugh at ourselves in the meantime.

I introduce to you, my dear readers:

The First World Problems Contest!

Here’s how it works:

  1. In the blog comments post a First World Problem (FWP) that is plaguing your day.
  2. At the end of the contest I will compile all of the entries and create a poll of my favorite 5-10 FWPs.
  3. YOU, the readers, will have to opportunity to to vote for your favorite FWP.  The submission with the most votes wins.
  4. I will email the winner a $25 Kiva gift certificate!

Kiva.org is a microlending website that allows individuals to loan money to low-income entrepeneurs from all over the world.  You go to the website, browse the small business owners or groups who are seeking funds and then you lend your $25 to someone who wants to put it to good use.  The business owner repays the loan over time (if all goes as planned), then you can choose to roll your returned investment into another loan!

The Hubby and I participate in Kiva.  We enjoy learning about the work that others are doing in different parts of the world, and it feels good to be a part of an organization that is getting these entrepeneurs the funds they need to help their businesses grow.

Contest Details and Guidelines

  • Comments are open NOW.  Entries will be closed at 8pm (+/- a few minutes) central time on Sunday (1/9/11).
  • On Monday I will post the poll with my favorite FWPs.  The poll will be open until 8pm (+/- a few minutes) central time Wednesday (1/12/11).   I will tally your votes and announce the winner on Thursday.
  • The Kiva gift certificate will be delivered to the winner by email.
  • Anyone can post, and you can enter as many times as you like, but my top favorite entries will not include multiple submissions from any one contributor.
  • If the winner does not wish to claim the Kiva gift certificate, the contributer with the next greatest number of votes will have the option to accept it.  And so on.

I think that’s it.  Disclaimers…hmmm…I’m sponsoring this contest all on my own.  Kiva.org is not involved with this blog.  Once you get the gift certificate, we’re done  – don’t get mad at me if you lose your $25 investment.  I recommend understanding how the lending process works before you get started.  (Kiva’s About sections and Terms and Conditions are a good place to begin)

Thanks in advance to everyone for visiting my blog and for participating in the First World Problems Contest!

First World Problems Contest

Ah, so it’s one of *those* days.

Brianne Bilyeu, , , , 144 Comments

I doodled this last year right before Christmas break started.  Now, three days into the new work year, it looks like things are picking up right where they left off.

I signed it because I know you guys are sneaky bastards and would otherwise steal this fine art and claim it as your own. 

Ah, so it’s one of *those* days.

Plants vs. Zombies aka Why My Blog is Slow

Brianne Bilyeu, , 98 Comments

You may have noticed a dearth of posts over the past week.  This is why:

1)I had very little access to the internet over Christmas break, and I don’t enjoy writing posts on my phone. 

2)Plants vs. Zombies.  Well, I had to beat Zomboss, didn’t I?

3) Over the Christmas break I got out of the groove of checking the blogs I follow, thus no “look what I found on whoseits website!” to share.

4) Plants vs. Zombies.  So…I beat Zomboss at the beginning of the second day I started playing.  But then I had to play through the entire game again to unlock all of the plants for my Zen Garden and raise enough money to buy all of the plants from Crazy Dave’s shop.

5) Watching all of my new DVDs that I got for Christmas with friends.  Really, this is not conducive to writing creative blog posts:

6) Plants vs. Zombies.  See, there are these extra levels in Puzzle Mode, Survival Mode and Mini-Games.  I’ve taken care of all of the mini-games and survival modes, but I haven’t been able to make it to the 15 levels for Vasebreaker and 10 levels for I, Zombie needed to unlock those acheivements! 

Curse you, Zombies!  But don’t worry – as soon as I save my house from these brain-eating jerks, I promise that things will get back to normal.  I figure I’ll get my “geeky Christmas presents” post up at about the same time I usually take down my Christmas decorations.  So….March-ish?

Plants vs. Zombies aka Why My Blog is Slow

Hello, 2011.

Brianne Bilyeu, 1,207 Comments

Here’s hoping you all had a great time last night, and that you made it safely into 2011.

The Hubby and I had a lame and lovely New Year’s Eve.  Neither of us felt like finding a party, and with the weather being all nasty it wasn’t that big of a stretch to decide to stay in.  We started watching the TV miniseries of Dune with William Hurt, had leftovers for dinner (‘cuz who wants to eat 2010 leftovers in 2011???), and we went to bed at 11:38pm.

This morning we have no hangovers, we woke up at a decent hour, I was motivated to make yummy frittata, and the Hubby was motivated to eat yummy frittata!

Happy New Year!

And in the spirit of “out with the old, in with the new” check out this AWESOME video that I found on Facebook via Being A Geek last night.  It’s about death, dying, cataclysms and the amazing fact that life on this planet has survived for so long, in spite of said death, dying and cataclysms.

 

Hello, 2011.