Time to break out the winter gear.
Found here. Hand-made made-to-order for $35, or you can order the pattern instead.
Humour
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Mock The Movie: Miami Connection transcript
Miami Connection pretty much hit the sweet spot for Mock The Movie mocking in every possible way. It included mediocre martial arts, ridiculous gore, 80s synth rock music, and a plot that almost sort of made sense if you overlooked the fact that a rock and roll band that knows Tae Kwon Do is the only thing stopping a group of ninjas from wresting control of all of Florida via cocaine distribution.
Oh, and did I mention that this is apparently a real band? Witness their 25-year reunion!
Transcript below the fold!
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Tim Minchin addresses University of Western Australia graduates (UPDATE: With transcript!)
This is an absolutely sublime speech. It is full of both realism and optimism at the same time. It is full of skepticism. It sounds nihilistic at times, but Tim Minchin does that oratory sleight-of-hand that has you looking one way while he delivers a truth sucker punch from the other.
This speech has brightened an otherwise fairly dismal day for me. I hope it does likewise for you!
Continue reading “Tim Minchin addresses University of Western Australia graduates (UPDATE: With transcript!)”
Mock The Movie: Sol transcript
We watched Sol for Mock The Movie last night. I can’t remember what happened in the movie. I have a vague recollection of poor acting, tents and sand. I think I blocked the rest as a defense mechanism. There were more than a few times I simply got distracted from the movie — I’m not used to having commercials in my movies any more, so the Hulu experience was jarring, and I was determined to find out whether or not the music on the Absolut Vodka was done by Woodkid, the same guy who did a song called Iron which was used in the Assassin’s Creed: Revelations trailer.
Participation was thin, so I’m including as an extra bonus Blake Stacey’s solo watching of Prometheus, which was an unscheduled event but certainly better worth your time.
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Getty Critics dub lame stock footage and make it awesome
Getty Images does stock photography. They also do cheap stock footage. This footage doesn’t have sound. It turns out, that is a bit of a travesty.
The computer guy is me. Totally.
Hat tip to Getty Critics and Copyranter.
Ain’t got much in the way of resources at the moment. Pretty sure I’m coming down with something nasty, and this just has to happen while my cat may have kidney stones and needs an x-ray, and I have to come up with nine grand in order to sell our house on the 26th. I can do this last part, with help from my job and friends and creative shuffling of finances, but it’ll be a lot of scrounging. If you have even the remotest pang of empathy for me, donate instead to Light The Night.
Elders React to Grand Theft Auto V
Some of the quotes in here are very choice. Especially the lady who’s dead set against ever playing this game. Or the one being super creepy about wanting to play it.
“I’m more a Halo man myself.” Okay, I LOL’d.
Mock The Movie: Deep Blue Sea transcript
While updating the Mock The Movie page. I realized that I’d neglected to post the transcript for Deep Blue Sea. It’s a movie about sharks genetically engineered to be super-intelligent.
Get it? Like Deep Blue, the IBM supercomputer?
Sigh. Too hip for the shark crowd, I guess.
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Mock The Movie: House of Evil transcript
This movie was obviously a labour of love — an attempt at true art, with lavish setpieces and expensive props at every turn. Or at least so I imagine, behind all the murky darkness we movie-watchers got to experience. Truly though, the experience of watching a mostly-black screen for an hour and a half was all worth it because of the brief glimpses we got of some absolutely epic muttonchops.
Visit the Mock The Movie page for transcripts shortly.
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While in Cambodia…
… do all your banking at FTB ATMs.
I totally didn’t hack it to shave off pennies from every transaction into my own account, honest. And all bank fees go toward the campaign to kill all local deities, naturally.
Sent to me by Ben Sweatervest Blanchard, of the Pathfinders Project. He’s in goddamn Phnom Penh and he thought of me, to send me an image meme he found on the internet, and a photo he snapped himself. (The meme, I’m going to save for a rainy day, it’s that good.)
Mock The Movie: Atlas Shrugged Part II transcript
In this movie: awful people being awful in order to destroy humanity for their personal profit. Also, wooden acting, and sadly enough, Robert Picardo.
And we still haven’t even gotten to John Galt’s damnable speech. They’re saving that up for parts 3 through 17, apparently.
I won’t lie. This wasn’t easy to mock. Not because it was too good, or because it was too bad — but because it was just fractally wrong and every scene made me want to scream “THAT ISN’T EVEN HOW REALITY WORKS”.
I’ll add it to the Mock The Movie page as soon as time allows.
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