Mock The Movie: Atlas Shrugged Part II transcript

In this movie: awful people being awful in order to destroy humanity for their personal profit. Also, wooden acting, and sadly enough, Robert Picardo.

And we still haven’t even gotten to John Galt’s damnable speech. They’re saving that up for parts 3 through 17, apparently.

I won’t lie. This wasn’t easy to mock. Not because it was too good, or because it was too bad — but because it was just fractally wrong and every scene made me want to scream “THAT ISN’T EVEN HOW REALITY WORKS”.

I’ll add it to the Mock The Movie page as soon as time allows.

@szvan: I will be a little late for tonight’s @MockTM. I wonder whether I’ll miss anything. *snerk*
2013-08-29 00:20:09
@drskyskull: @szvan @MockTM You will only miss FREEDOM OF THE INDIVIDUAL.
2013-08-29 00:20:55
@lousycanuck: Might as well start fixing a double for tonight’s… “movie.” Atlas Shrugged Part 2, on Netflix, at @MockTM.
2013-08-29 00:51:14
@jailawrites: @lousycanuck @MockTM You have my condolences.
2013-08-29 00:53:41
@blakestacey: @MockTM Last time, on Atlas Shrugged: boring people behaved unethically.
2013-08-29 00:56:30
@blakestacey: @MockTM Last time, on Atlas Shrugged: scenes were filmed on location in airport hotel restaurants.
2013-08-29 00:57:14
@blakestacey: @MockTM Last time, on Atlas Shrugged: setting fire to an oil field was deemed a heroic thing to do.
2013-08-29 00:57:56
@blakestacey: @MockTM Last time, on Atlas Shrugged: shit, fuck, I dunno. It was too boring to remember.
2013-08-29 00:59:17
@CA7746: @MockTM Terrible fuel shortages, so… we have a private jet.
2013-08-29 01:00:41
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Railroads reemerged as the only viable transit. *cuts to a plane*
2013-08-29 01:01:33
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Atlas Distribution Co” – stealing the name of a perfectly good map company
2013-08-29 01:01:44
@blakestacey: @MockTM Commercial air travel is unfeasible. CUT TO: jets!
2013-08-29 01:02:18
@CA7746: @MockTM neeer vooom ueerr whoosh!
2013-08-29 01:02:23
@lousycanuck: @MockTM It stands to reason Dagny is excellent at dogfighting, since she has business acumen. Rand logic.
2013-08-29 01:02:37
@blakestacey: @MockTM Good thing they snuck in the bracelet, so we know it’s the same dull character played by a different dull actor.
2013-08-29 01:02:58
@drskyskull: @MockTM Okay, I’m bored of the planes. WHERE ARE THE TRAINS? I WAS PROMISED TRAINS.
2013-08-29 01:03:10
@DrRubidium: @MockTM not sure I have enough booze in the house for this horror show
2013-08-29 01:03:12
@CA7746: @MockTM The End. Good night everybody!
2013-08-29 01:03:18
@blakestacey: @MockTM Looks like a pretty easy collision to avoid…
2013-08-29 01:03:47
@drskyskull: @MockTM I SWEAR that they stole plane sound effects from “Star Wars.”
2013-08-29 01:03:48
@lousycanuck: @MockTM 9 months earlier, Robert Picardo gets started on his new business venture: Johnny-Cab.
2013-08-29 01:04:10
@blakestacey: @MockTM 9 months earlier…this terrible movie was…conceived.
2013-08-29 01:04:15
@blakestacey: @MockTM Robert Picardo NOOOOOOO
2013-08-29 01:04:25
@blakestacey: @MockTM “A device that draws static electricity from the atmosphere and converts it into electrical power.”
2013-08-29 01:04:49
@blakestacey: @MockTM Yeah, you could solve a lot of problems with a Get-Out-of-Physics-Free card.
2013-08-29 01:05:07
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “You found this in an automobile factory? It’s a warp core!”
2013-08-29 01:05:15
@blakestacey: @MockTM “If we state that we found this in an abandoned car factory, that becomes plausible.”
2013-08-29 01:05:31
@drskyskull: @MockTM I want them to explain how Dagny Taggart got plastic surgery between part I and part II to change her appearance.
2013-08-29 01:05:35
@blakestacey: @MockTM “There seems to be an element missing…unobtanium, handwavium…”
2013-08-29 01:06:03
@blakestacey: @MockTM Aaaagh! Stop gaslighting us on the plot of the first movie!
2013-08-29 01:06:35
@CA7746: @MockTM Guess she didn’t want it to work after all.
2013-08-29 01:06:42
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Dude, you just punched in the code right under his nose.
2013-08-29 01:06:43
@blakestacey: @MockTM Gosh, that nefarious State Science Institute. Monopolies suck, don’t they?
2013-08-29 01:07:21
@drskyskull: @MockTM “That thin piece of sheet metal will protect the most valuable technology ever invented.”
2013-08-29 01:07:44
@blakestacey: @MockTM Seriously, I think they got the order of the events in their own first movie wrong.
2013-08-29 01:07:55
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Wow, the rich have really improved on their wealth. 99.98% now, huh?
2013-08-29 01:08:14
@blakestacey: @MockTM Great performance on those 3D-modeled trains.
2013-08-29 01:08:25
@blakestacey: @MockTM The downtrodden: it’s officially their own fault.
2013-08-29 01:09:03
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Look at all those layabouts, wanting food and shelter, being unemployed. Pah. Disgusting mooches.
2013-08-29 01:09:32
@blakestacey: @MockTM Gasoline $40 a gallon. Characters climb into car to be chauffeured.
2013-08-29 01:09:44
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Why don’t these stupid poor people realize that it’s in their own best interest that we own all their shit?”
2013-08-29 01:10:11
@blakestacey: @MockTM Ellis Wyatt’s ecological catastrophe continues. Our hero, ladies and gentlemen.
2013-08-29 01:10:29
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Still unsure why dude thought he found that oil field on fire.
2013-08-29 01:10:34
@blakestacey: @MockTM “I am leaving it like I found it”. I call bullshit.
2013-08-29 01:11:02
@drskyskull: @MockTM @blakestacey At $40/gallon, that one chauffeur ride could’ve provided a meal for half those protesters.
2013-08-29 01:11:03
@RealEnthusedMTM: @MockTM Mouch = mooch?
2013-08-29 01:11:26
@blakestacey: @MockTM Requirement 1 for liking this movie: total absence of empathy
2013-08-29 01:11:59
@blakestacey: @MockTM “When you started the JOHN GALT Line, I figured you liked that expression.” And this is absurd…why?
2013-08-29 01:12:47
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “This railroad doesn’t function as a charity. It mostly functions as a means of locomotion. And also a plot device.”
2013-08-29 01:13:24
@blakestacey: @MockTM Rich company losing money: gasp! People who don’t have any: fuck ’em.
2013-08-29 01:13:56
@drskyskull: @MockTM … aaaaand with Sean Hannity’s appearance, this movie officially gets the “sociopathic asshole seal of approval.”
2013-08-29 01:15:01
@lockwooddewitt: @drskyskull @blakestacey I “get” @MockTM, looks like fun. But “Atlas Shrugged 2!?” Sounds more like #SlowlyExtinguishYourSoul.
2013-08-29 01:15:12
@blakestacey: @MockTM CHARACTER 1: [talking point] CHARACTER 2: [talking point] CHARACTER 3: [opposing talking point]
2013-08-29 01:15:27
@CA7746: @MockTM It was only spike he ever drove.
2013-08-29 01:15:37
@Felix3333: @drskyskull @MockTM He’s IN the movie?? (still trying to get movie to play)
2013-08-29 01:16:08
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “I drove the first spike into that railroad. In the foot of one of the workers, who proceeded to drive the other five million.”
2013-08-29 01:16:18
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Hey, remember our road trip across the country in a gasoline-burning automobile?”
2013-08-29 01:16:38
@drskyskull: @MockTM The voice of Henry Riordan will be played for the duration of the movie by Tom Waits.
2013-08-29 01:17:24
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “You tell your people… that I will make them an offer they can’t refuse.”
2013-08-29 01:17:31
@drskyskull: @Felix3333 @MockTM Good lord yes. Just one more unpleasant surprise.
2013-08-29 01:17:54
@blakestacey: @MockTM “You tell your people that I, a savvy businessman, will refuse to sell you my product out of sheer spite.”
2013-08-29 01:18:19
@drskyskull: @lockwooddewitt @blakestacey @MockTM It is quite painful.
2013-08-29 01:18:50
@drskyskull: @MockTM “You’re going to have to decide what side you’re on.” Shirts (people who can afford shirts) or skins (people who can’t)?
2013-08-29 01:19:23
@lousycanuck: @MockTM You’re absurdly rich? Here, have all the things for free.
2013-08-29 01:20:25
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Cheryl Brooks, have you ever wasted fuel for no damn good reason?”
2013-08-29 01:21:35
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Have you ever ridden in a limo?” *Gasp* DO I DARE!!??
2013-08-29 01:21:48
@lousycanuck: @MockTM John Galt grabs another best-and-brightest, this time a pianist, who will serve as a brain surgeon in Rapture.
2013-08-29 01:22:22
@blakestacey: @MockTM The first 99% of that performance must have been epic.
2013-08-29 01:22:33
@blakestacey: @MockTM “The Phantom got him!”
2013-08-29 01:22:51
@CA7746: @MockTM Teller’s gotta be the one making CEOs disappear.
2013-08-29 01:22:56
@lousycanuck: @MockTM The part I love about this is there won’t be a single damnable labourer brought to Rapture. All businessmen and culture heroes.
2013-08-29 01:23:08
@drskyskull: @MockTM Apparently, “going Galt” means “being a complete dick to people who support you.” #ButWeKnewThatAlready
2013-08-29 01:23:19
@leilah: @lousycanuck @MockTM So, it’s pretty much the B Ark?
2013-08-29 01:24:12
@drskyskull: @MockTM Prediction: tragedy will strike when Riordan’s gravelly voice causes a train to derail, killing thousands.
2013-08-29 01:24:16
@Felix3333: @MockTM Bwa ha ha. Gas shortages and all the moochers, the 99.98% are RIDING BIKES. Damn hippies.
2013-08-29 01:24:38
@drskyskull: @MockTM @lousycanuck It is reminiscent of the chapter in “World War Z” (book) where executives have to be taught to do useful shit.
2013-08-29 01:25:06
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “I won’t accept pay for my good intentions. Mostly because that’s the best I have to offer — I’m not very smart, you see.”
2013-08-29 01:25:40
@drskyskull: @MockTM “I want to build more. What do you need?” Uhh… a paperclip, two cherry tomatoes and original screenplay to “Trainspotting.
2013-08-29 01:26:43
@CA7746: @MockTM Can we have a railroad scene now? I miss those.
2013-08-29 01:27:10
@blakestacey: @MockTM The increase in production values over part 1 really brings out the smug.
2013-08-29 01:27:38
@drskyskull: @MockTM Now, Riordan chats with the guy who will eventually be arrested by the pre-crime division for thinking of killing his wife.
2013-08-29 01:27:39
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Let’s move some props into a cheap hotel room to make it look like a swank hotel room.” “Good plan.”
2013-08-29 01:27:57
@DrRubidium: @MockTM had to deal with #ginemergency. Have any of these motherfuckers gotten more likable yet?
2013-08-29 01:28:04
2013-08-29 01:28:10
@lousycanuck: @DrRubidium @MockTM I don’t even know who any of these motherfuckers ARE.
2013-08-29 01:28:34
@blakestacey: @MockTM So, there *were* universities other than the State Science Institute. Presumably one of them could have studied Rearden Metal…
2013-08-29 01:28:42
@drskyskull: @MockTM @DrRubidium By “likable,” do you mean “richer?” Then yes.
2013-08-29 01:28:45
@blakestacey: @MockTM …performing tests which are probably within the capabilities of any decently equipped machine shop?
2013-08-29 01:29:27
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Ladies and gentlemen, the most expensive scene in the film — copying extras over and over using CG to fill the crowd with 5 actors.
2013-08-29 01:29:49
@blakestacey: @MockTM Oh, good, I was afraid they were holding out on the Sheraton ballroom.
2013-08-29 01:29:53
@drskyskull: @MockTM Waiting for the scene where Voldemort appears and says, “You know, John Galt is kind of a dick.”
2013-08-29 01:30:02
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Oooh, gender policing, in a Libertarian movie? Say it ain’t so!
2013-08-29 01:30:29
@DrRubidium: @MockTM Spread the word… this movie makes more sense if you mute it and play the Sweeney Todd soundtrack
2013-08-29 01:30:52
@blakestacey: @MockTM Enough sexism to fill a whole subreddit.
2013-08-29 01:31:19
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “If you held a really really heavy thing in your hands, what would you do?” — first draft
2013-08-29 01:31:55
@ingdamnit: @lousycanuck @MockTM ohhh what movie this time?
2013-08-29 01:32:03
@blakestacey: @MockTM “No one can explain who John Galt is. You have to be shown.”
2013-08-29 01:32:11
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Oh, hey, I recognize that bracelet from the first movie. Strangely, I don’t recognize YOU though.” “You neither.”
2013-08-29 01:32:26
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Mrs. James Taggert”. Because who needs a name when you marry into the rich?
2013-08-29 01:32:56
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Have you ever asked yourself what’s the root of money? Turtles. It’s turtles all the way down.”
2013-08-29 01:33:29
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Have you ever asked what is the root of money?” Turtles, all the way down.
2013-08-29 01:34:21
@DrRubidium: @MockTM This movie is like The Expendables if only villains were cast
2013-08-29 01:34:25
@blakestacey: @MockTM The fuck just happened? Were we supposed to get a coherent philosophy out of that?
2013-08-29 01:35:33
@Felix3333: @blakestacey @MockTM @lousycanuck You two turtles are spooky.
2013-08-29 01:36:07
@blakestacey: @MockTM Backroom deals bad, conspiracy to disable the world good.
2013-08-29 01:36:09
@lousycanuck: @MockTM In Capitalist America, destruction of wealth is greatest evil!
2013-08-29 01:36:10
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Oh thank you for sparing us another awkward wooden love scene.
2013-08-29 01:37:13
@ingdamnit: @lousycanuck @MockTM ah Atlas Shrugged
2013-08-29 01:37:20
@drskyskull: @MockTM In a deleted scene from the movie, Nickelback leaves to join “Galt’s Gulch.” Civilization manages to carry on.
2013-08-29 01:38:40
@drskyskull: @MockTM I find those vertical blinds to be the most sympathetic character in the movie so far.
2013-08-29 01:39:56
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Oh please, those are only very small explosions. There’s lots of mine to strip there yet!
2013-08-29 01:39:59
@blakestacey: @MockTM Bam. Spurned woman has a point.
2013-08-29 01:40:12
@lousycanuck: @MockTM You know, I always wondered what happened to Wolfman Jack. He apparently went on to create magical plot steel.
2013-08-29 01:41:06
@drskyskull: @MockTM Love the logic of this film: “Civilization needs us to survive! To prove this, we have to actively destroy things by terrorism.”
2013-08-29 01:41:17
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “I’ll find my own way out, thank you. Uh, why are all the exits right behind pouring molten metal?”
2013-08-29 01:42:27
@drskyskull: @MockTM Hey, Rearden, pro-tip: When you say “We’re done here” and walk away, don’t turn around when someone speaks to you again.
2013-08-29 01:42:36
@blakestacey: @MockTM Railroad tycoon travels by plane during fuel crisis. I can’t get over this.
2013-08-29 01:44:26
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Seems the best-and-brightest minds are still incapable of getting that cigarettes cause cancer.
2013-08-29 01:44:35
@blakestacey: @MockTM The Cigarette-Smoking Man was here!
2013-08-29 01:45:02
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Every chunk of coal I’ve ever pulled out of the ground”… as though this jackass has even seen coal in decades.
2013-08-29 01:45:19
@ingdamnit: @lousycanuck @MockTM or touched dirt
2013-08-29 01:45:48
@drskyskull: @MockTM “I can’t decide who to sell to. The government makes me sell to *whispers* colored people!”
2013-08-29 01:46:18
@blakestacey: @MockTM “I’ve fought for every collateralized debt obligation my accountants have assembled from coal futures!”
2013-08-29 01:46:20
@DrRubidium: @MockTM this movie is like the opposite of ‘synergy’. Sum of good actors = less than the worst of ’em
2013-08-29 01:46:34
@lousycanuck: @MockTM So basically this is the Libertarian version of Left Behind. You wonder why I keep calling it “Rapture”? (Besides Bioshock.)
2013-08-29 01:46:50
@drskyskull: @MockTM “One thing left fighting for.” “What’s that?” “This. This mole on my temple.”
2013-08-29 01:46:56
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Soon they will have safety and environmental inspectors. Where will it end?!”
2013-08-29 01:47:33
@CA7746: @MockTM Is he working hard right now?
2013-08-29 01:47:34
@lousycanuck: @MockTM @drskyskull I’d love to point out that he still has his brains (and mole) if he’s in jail, so it’s not exactly a fight he can lose.
2013-08-29 01:47:39
@DrRubidium: @drskyskull @MockTM hahahahahahahahahaha!
2013-08-29 01:47:46
@RealEnthusedMTM: @MockTM For being such hard-working, spike-driving, plane-flying, coal-digging folks, they sure have a lot of time to stand around talking.
2013-08-29 01:48:41
@drskyskull: @MockTM @lousycanuck “Pointing out things”: it’s like Kryptonite for libertarians.
2013-08-29 01:48:41
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Red alert! Battlestations! Breach in the port nacelle! We’re venting plasma!”
2013-08-29 01:49:16
@drskyskull: @MockTM I finally figured it out: “Atlas Shrugged” is like the bizarro-world version of “It’s a Wonderful Life.”
2013-08-29 01:49:25
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Wow, without the rich people, nobody’s bothering to be garbagemen.
2013-08-29 01:51:33
@RealEnthusedMTM: @MockTM In addition to the Wolfman Jack and Tom Waits already mentioned, I’m picking up some Macho Man Randy Savage in this guy’s voice.
2013-08-29 01:51:33
@lousycanuck: @RealEnthusedMTM @MockTM Cooome and make metalllll with meeee, oooooh yeah!!
2013-08-29 01:52:19
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Utah Institute of Technology?” Can’t they whip up some cold fusion or something to solve all these problems?
2013-08-29 01:52:30
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Remarkable. And you say you built this in a cave with a box of scraps?”
2013-08-29 01:53:23
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “There’s something missing. It’s not all here. I’m going to call up a friend… calls himself Magneto.”
2013-08-29 01:53:29
@drskyskull: @MockTM “Maybe a week… maybe a thousand lifetimes.” *Exactly* the sort of answer I would expect from an engineer, actually.
2013-08-29 01:54:20
@blakestacey: @MockTM “So, you plead ‘dickhead’, then?”
2013-08-29 01:54:50
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Send armed men to get me, I will not volunteer to go.” “Luckily, we have armed men right here.”
2013-08-29 01:55:03
@RealEnthusedMTM: @MockTM “I do not recognize any of my actions as a crime, I rule, you drool, neener neener. That is all, your honor.”
2013-08-29 01:55:11
@drskyskull: @MockTM Anyone catch the irony of a railroad tycoon talking about injustice of “stealing things because you need it?” #RobberBarons
2013-08-29 01:55:54
@Felix3333: @MockTM Oh, look. The court has suitable diversity. Trying the brave white dude. And the flag has a fringe on it.
2013-08-29 01:56:12
@blakestacey: @MockTM So, representative government is not just flawed in practice but wrong in principle?
2013-08-29 01:56:59
@lousycanuck: @MockTM How many people in this standing ovation actually have jobs in this economy? How many have money?
2013-08-29 01:57:03
@drskyskull: @MockTM Now his eyes roll back in his head and he starts channeling the spirit of Ronald Reagan.
2013-08-29 01:57:25
@lousycanuck: @MockTM I sentence you to ten years and fifty million dollars and all your stuff, but don’t worry about any of that because you’re a mensch.
2013-08-29 01:58:17
@drskyskull: @MockTM So… basically this court proceeding is to demonstrate how great “too big to fail” is?
2013-08-29 01:59:03
@blakestacey: @MockTM “You’ve given the people a voice. The rich people, who never had a voice before!”
2013-08-29 01:59:17
@drskyskull: @MockTM So… if the people didn’t have a voice, WHO THE FUCK IS ELECTING THE POLITICIANS PASSING THESE LAWS?
2013-08-29 01:59:39
@Felix3333: @MockTM Hank’s wife walks out. Dagny greets him. She should be wearing a beret.
2013-08-29 01:59:51
@lousycanuck: @MockTM I’m so sure “the people”, made up of the 99.98% who are destitute, are totes on the super-rich’s side from one measley speech.
2013-08-29 01:59:55
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Oh shit, it’s the dad from that one sitcom!! It’s on now, business world!
2013-08-29 02:00:25
@drskyskull: @MockTM Okay, as much as I’d love to hear more libertarian rants, I think I’ll go spent some time with my wife. Goodnight all!
2013-08-29 02:00:27
@Felix3333: @MockTM Board members walking in slo mo! Threatening music.
2013-08-29 02:01:42
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Trim the fat from this company — I suggest we stop paying billions to the people in this room for instance. WAIT I MEAN–”
2013-08-29 02:02:02
@blakestacey: @MockTM If those judges had put Hank in jail, I’m pretty sure 99.98% of the population would be just fine with that.
2013-08-29 02:02:02
@lousycanuck: @MockTM The good of the 0.02% outweigh the needs of the many who do nothing in society while businessmen physically lay rail singlehandedly.
2013-08-29 02:02:54
@CA7746: @MockTM Yay…?
2013-08-29 02:03:25
@Felix3333: @MockTM Oh dear FSM, board meetings are just as boring in movies as in life. Altho, Miss Taggart’s ‘tude is pretty much mine in meetings.
2013-08-29 02:03:31
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Look at all those CEOs and CFOs dismantling the railroad. Like railroads ever need to be dismantled, rather than simply disused.
2013-08-29 02:03:45
@blakestacey: @MockTM The Taggart patriarch was…Joe Lieberman?
2013-08-29 02:03:46
@CA7746: @MockTM Aw, no budget for fancy machines in the sequel.
2013-08-29 02:03:49
@SpokesGay: @MockTM Oh shit, I’m missing this!
2013-08-29 02:03:59
@lousycanuck: @SpokesGay @MockTM So far you’ve missed people being horrible to one another, and the craziest straw-socialism ever.
2013-08-29 02:04:52
@blakestacey: @MockTM “We built something fantastic.” “Yes, we did. By the way, who are these vaguely humanoid shapes in our vicinity?”
2013-08-29 02:04:58
@Felix3333: @SpokesGay @MockTM At 1 hour mark. Can’t make less sense by missing half of it.
2013-08-29 02:05:00
@Felix3333: @MockTM Wives in Chanel suits. The worst moochers ever, amirite?
2013-08-29 02:06:08
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Look at all those 99.98% who have no money or property, protesting the rich being asked to actually contribute to society.
2013-08-29 02:06:29
@SpokesGay: @Felix3333 @MockTM Can I have another time mark please?
2013-08-29 02:07:25
@lousycanuck: @SpokesGay @Felix3333 @MockTM I have 1:07
2013-08-29 02:07:36
@Felix3333: @MockTM AGhhhhh! Another board meeting. Everyone here agrees that capitalism doesn’t work.
2013-08-29 02:08:07
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “I recommend we implement directive 10289 for the public good.” “Nuke Atlanta to end the zombie apocalypse!?”
2013-08-29 02:08:12
@Felix3333: @MockTM Directive 10 2 89!!!!
2013-08-29 02:09:01
@ingdamnit: @lousycanuck @MockTM “but sir, we dont even have any monkeys in need of shaving!” #krytanvoice
2013-08-29 02:09:06
@SpokesGay: @MockTM Henceforth, all our bullshit fantasies that make no sense at all will come true.
2013-08-29 02:09:53
@SpokesGay: @MockTM “Recovery Czar” oh lord.
2013-08-29 02:10:30
@Felix3333: @MockTM I think the filmmakers betray their true colours by thinking that board meetings are awesome narrative devices, gripping film scenes
2013-08-29 02:10:31
@lousycanuck: @MockTM This is an awfully… AUTHORITARIAN version of socialism. “Economic martial law” is not only completely unfeasible, it’s a bogeyman.
2013-08-29 02:10:58
@blakestacey: @MockTM Wait, wait, the ideas which make no sense are coming too fast to comment upon.
2013-08-29 02:11:16
@Felix3333: @MockTM “It’s all happening so fast.” No, it’ really not. It’s been a long slog to this part of the movie, part 2.
2013-08-29 02:11:30
@SpokesGay: @MockTM (No voice). Poignant.
2013-08-29 02:11:46
@lousycanuck: @MockTM I mean, “henceforth everyone who has a job must keep working”, when 99.98% are unemployed? Seriously?
2013-08-29 02:11:54
@DrRubidium: Next @MockTM, can we not pick such a scary movie? #atlasshrugged #lightson
2013-08-29 02:12:15
@SpokesGay: @MockTM Jesus Christ. I need insulin. Ya know, for the Glurge.
2013-08-29 02:12:21
@blakestacey: @MockTM “We must lift ourselves out of this depression by doing exactly the same things as we are currently doing.”
2013-08-29 02:12:53
@Felix3333: @MockTM Oh look, lots of minorities holding signs and chanting.
2013-08-29 02:12:55
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “… and this document, if you’ll sign here, gives us access to your cat… and this one gives us your childhood memories…”
2013-08-29 02:13:40
@Felix3333: @blakestacey @MockTM Austerity for all!
2013-08-29 02:14:29
@Felix3333: @MockTM Dagny IS Belinda Stronach, no?
2013-08-29 02:15:18
@blakestacey: @MockTM “I can’t even look at this. It’s all in Comic Sans.”
2013-08-29 02:15:21
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “I’m part of the solution. The… FINAL… solution.”
2013-08-29 02:15:52
@Felix3333: @MockTM And love of a woman breaks a good man. Makes him compromise his most dearly held ideals. Ain’t it always the way.
2013-08-29 02:16:09
@blakestacey: @MockTM Has Dagny even been ON a train during this movie?
2013-08-29 02:17:29
@CA7746: @MockTM Posterboard sales are doing well.
2013-08-29 02:18:13
@blakestacey: @MockTM Buying off judges: another in the list of heroic deeds.
2013-08-29 02:18:49
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Congratulations, Chief Operating Officer Ensign Ricky.”
2013-08-29 02:19:03
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Yeah! FUCK that rocking chair. Lousy layabout.
2013-08-29 02:19:35
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Woodstock, NY.” Hope Dagny doesn’t eat the brown acid!
2013-08-29 02:19:57
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Can anyone tell me why the Westbound 22 is behind schedule?” “Slow 3D rendering?”
2013-08-29 02:20:56
@lousycanuck: @MockTM No no no NO NO NO. Stalin did NOT make the trains run on time. Stop with that myth! Oh, and the rest of this movie can go to hell.
2013-08-29 02:21:54
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Tomorrow morning I’m not going to have a railroad and you’re not going to have a job.” “But that law said…!”
2013-08-29 02:23:38
@blakestacey: @MockTM Kind of undermines the thesis to show the random office jockeys are…actually pretty on top of things.
2013-08-29 02:24:24
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Um, was that one of the alien watcher dudes from Fringe?
2013-08-29 02:24:25
@DrRubidium: @MockTM I think the Cold War was shorter than this movie
2013-08-29 02:24:38
@RealEnthusedMTM: @MockTM Why’d they have to find a retired engineer? Wasn’t there a magically-proficient-at-everything rich person in the vicinity?
2013-08-29 02:24:41
@Felix3333: @MockTM This sounds accurate. Don’t run a smoker through an 8 mile tunnel. CO2 FTW.
2013-08-29 02:25:19
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Well, there’s always prayer.” “Yeah, that’ll work well.”
2013-08-29 02:25:51
@drskyskull: @DrRubidium @MockTM … and more fun.
2013-08-29 02:25:58
@lousycanuck: @MockTM They’ll all be a lovely shade of pink when they hit that army train. And society will never be the worse for it.
2013-08-29 02:26:27
@Felix3333: @MockTM We seem to be watching an entirely different movie now. Why? Oh right, that book was a doorstop.
2013-08-29 02:26:40
@CA7746: @MockTM Oh no! The fuel!
2013-08-29 02:27:42
@Felix3333: @lousycanuck @MockTM And the movie would improve. Pink!
2013-08-29 02:28:03
@blakestacey: @MockTM 5,220 seconds into the movie, and a Randian Hero is finally building something by herself.
2013-08-29 02:28:50
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Look at those moocher geese. They didn’t build that pond themselves. Expecting their fish handouts.
2013-08-29 02:29:27
@Felix3333: @MockTM What did the blond Laura have to do with everything? She made everything worse because?
2013-08-29 02:29:43
@blakestacey: @MockTM Vroooooom!
2013-08-29 02:31:20
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “We need all of our best people on this right now.” “Well, we’re only left with mediocre and inexperienced.”
2013-08-29 02:31:48
@RealEnthusedMTM: @lousycanuck @MockTM Well they are from socialist Canada, after all.
2013-08-29 02:32:05
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Finally, someone decides that it takes people to do things. More than just the businessfolk.
2013-08-29 02:32:47
@drskyskull: @MockTm Hey – I found video footage of the film’s producers getting the rights from the Rand estate!
2013-08-29 02:34:38
@blakestacey: @MockTM 5,570 seconds into the movie, the “face of Taggart Transcontinental” finally travels anywhere by train.
2013-08-29 02:34:38
@CA7746: @MockTM Part warp core, part Dyson.
2013-08-29 02:35:13
@Felix3333: @MockTM She’s taking the train! Using her own product, how revolutionary.
2013-08-29 02:35:15
@RealEnthusedMTM: @CA7746 @MockTM And part glowy plasma ball from Spencer Gifts.
2013-08-29 02:35:52
@RedScareBot: Still seeing red? RT @realenthusedmtm: @lousycanuck @MockTM Well they are from socialist Canada, after all.
2013-08-29 02:38:15
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Ah, more straw socialism created the supervillain that is John Galt.
2013-08-29 02:38:28
@Felix3333: @MockTM Bit of newspaper in lab window, advertising kitchenware. Haz magic con Martha? Someone in props having fun.
2013-08-29 02:38:39
@lousycanuck: @MockTM And he’s “stopping the motor of this world” by snapping up all the businessfolk and cultural icons. He can have ’em.
2013-08-29 02:39:36
@blakestacey: @MockTM Thrilling self-service ACTION!
2013-08-29 02:39:46
@Felix3333: @MockTM The horror, the horror! Filling the gas tank.
2013-08-29 02:41:08
@lousycanuck: @MockTM And once she’s done flying a plane, she’ll cure cancer (and charge a bundle), and then hunt big game in the Savannah. Because RAND.
2013-08-29 02:41:27
@RealEnthusedMTM: @MockTM This movie is ridiggidy-ding-dong-diculous.
2013-08-29 02:41:27
@Felix3333: @MockTM Dagny uses iphones? That can’t be right. Also, tank of gas $865!! Audience dies of horror, learns something.
2013-08-29 02:42:12
@blakestacey: @MockTM We now rejoin the beginning of our movie, already in progress.
2013-08-29 02:42:40
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Don’t worry Dagny, you’re just entering The Fifth Dimension. Watch out for those aliens though.
2013-08-29 02:43:09
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Look, we paid for the graphics, we’re going to use them!”
2013-08-29 02:43:14
@Felix3333: @MockTM I shouldn’t be wasting my life this way, should I?
2013-08-29 02:43:14
@Felix3333: @MockTM The promised land will have ponies, right? Or at least Elron the elf?
2013-08-29 02:44:22
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Someone get the passenger list for that plane. And see if the tail section landed on the other side of the island.
2013-08-29 02:44:36
@blakestacey: @MockTM I just can’t get over how few competent people this movie believes there are in the world.
2013-08-29 02:44:47
@blakestacey: @MockTM In the event of a plot device, a trail of wreckage will lead to the next significant event…
2013-08-29 02:45:25
@RealEnthusedMTM: @MockTM How much speed was Ayn Rand on when she wrote this crap?
2013-08-29 02:46:01
@blakestacey: @MockTM “YOU’RE the sociopath bent on world destruction?”
2013-08-29 02:46:27
@CA7746: @MockTM !?
2013-08-29 02:46:28
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Netflix suggests we watch Park Avenue next. YUP.
2013-08-29 02:46:36
@Felix3333: @blakestacey @MockTM Yes, the only competent person in any business, a hospital, a restaurant, is the owner.
2013-08-29 02:47:13
@Felix3333: @MockTM WAIT, is there a Part 3? AAAAAAAHHHHHH.
2013-08-29 02:48:07
@blakestacey: @MockTM This premise only makes sense as a ploy to get entitled assholes to leave the rest of us alone.
2013-08-29 02:48:11
@CA7746: @MockTM So in part 3, will they take her to their hospital, staffed by House and Becker?
2013-08-29 02:48:12
@lousycanuck: @MockTM I have to wonder after seeing this if Ayn Rand *ever* met a real person in her entire life, much less one with any competence.
2013-08-29 02:48:35
@blakestacey: @MockTM So, Dagny never actually has to fend in the wild by her own devices?
2013-08-29 02:49:08
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Special thanks”? Thanking people is just another word for SOCIALISM!
2013-08-29 02:49:40
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Script supervisor”? This script was supervised? I have my doubts.
2013-08-29 02:49:54
@Felix3333: @lousycanuck @MockTM Oh, look, credits. Filled with people who know how to do stuff. And work together. So… socialist.
2013-08-29 02:50:16
@ingdamnit: @lousycanuck @MockTM according to capitalism theres like 20 more ready to take over
2013-08-29 02:50:26
@blakestacey: @MockTM “Saw filming of Atlas Shrugged Part 2. […] Gonna be much better than Part 1.”
2013-08-29 02:55:02

Mock The Movie: Atlas Shrugged Part II transcript

7 thoughts on “Mock The Movie: Atlas Shrugged Part II transcript

  1. 1

    I was saddened to see Ray Wise in the trailer. It was a safe bet that guy would never get to do anything as great as Twin Peaks again, but unfortunately he seems unable to get any good parts at all. Your third paragraph there is exactly what I would have predicted of this movie, and why someone would have to pay me to watch it. Yuckers.

  2. 2

    There were just so many damn things in this movie which I couldn’t get over and couldn’t type fast enough to point out. It was the cinematic version of a Gish gallop. The economics, science, engineering, politics, business management…it’s like fractal broccoli, if broccoli were made of cow shit.

    Like Rearden turning down paying clients out of pure spite, instead of making money and most probably gaining allies. And railroad tycoons travelling everywhere by car. If we take the super-skills of our Randian heroes even half seriously, they should be able to build a fuel-efficient hybrid over a couple weekends. “The new ’16 Prometheus: built from ultra-light-weight Rearden Metal to be even more amazingly economical!” Also, asking a store clerk, who by implication probably can’t afford to fill a gas tank, if she’s ever ridden in a limo? Wouldn’t any decent person have at least a bit of “And then are we going to eat dolphin steak?” in their response? It’s like that web site which computed how much money Mitt Romney made by doing nothing, during the time it takes you to earn enough to pay the rent. Wouldn’t any store clerk offered a limo ride in that crapsack nation wonder how many hours’ worth of her paycheck are going out the exhaust pipe?

    (What’s the canned screenplay response of the working-class woman who has been given an expensive necklace by her affluent, handsome admirer? “Oh, it’s beautiful…It must cost a fortune. I can’t accept this.” We’ve seen that movie, right?)

    And then, when the movie is almost over, Dagny finally decides that as the face of her company, she should travel by rail. And then we finally get an acknowledgement that all the driving they’ve been doing is ruinously expensive, which is played as a big shock! moment. …the Hell? Yes, we knew that from your opening title cards. Why are you making a big deal about it now?! Do you not understand how writing works?

    “Directive 10289″… I missed a great opportunity for an “Execute Order 66” joke there. Also: what the fuck? The writers managed to be “topical” with a “bridge to nowhere” and some 99% references, but they missed that whole thing with the stimulus package? Where are the public-works projects, the new New Deal, the steps a plausible American government would actually take in an economic disaster? Sure, if your thesis is that gov’mint is teh evil, you could make all the bridges built by the WPA shoddily engineered. Then Rearden could actually have a principled objection to the State Science Institute using his metal, instead of the argument the movie actually gives us: “Because dick.”

    On that note, what did the State Science Institute need 4,000 tons of Rearden Metal for? Why was their representative weaselly about it? Are they building a new facility which might (ghasp) create local jobs in the public sector? Is it for the scaffolding of a death ray? They’d have to work pretty hard to be more diabolical than John Galt, whose stated goal is the active destruction of civilization.

    Oh, and let’s look at that horrible job experience which convinced John Galt that civilization had to go, that the smartphone of the world had to be bricked. Does it make any, you know, sense? We are told that the company for which he worked went under new management, who indulged in a fit of straw socialism, driving away the talent and bringing the company down. Come again? First, the more familiar pattern is management becoming less idealistic after the original owners leave (think Hormel). OK, then, suppose the new owners played against type and, after a few space brownies, decided to have a happy corporate love fest. How would that plan actually reach the implementation phase without anybody going, “Uh, guys, maybe scale it back a little?” Stretching the imagination, we might say that 20th Century Motors was privately owned, so there were no shareholders who could get upset at the risk to their shares’ value. The blunt accounting reality of setting up a new compensation system would set in pretty quick. We could picture, say, a company policy of financial aid in the event of well-documentable needs, such as endowing college scholarships for the workers’ children. But the scenario the movie gives us? Hardly. Pie-in-the-sky idealism ruining a company is the territory of scruffy startups, not established manufacturers which, we are told, are already going gangbusters.

    And John Galt’s static electricity engine…oh, glob. There comes a point where ignorance of and indifference to science manifest as active disdain.

  3. 3

    I won’t watch the movie, then again I can’t remember the last one I actually wanted to watch a movie, but the running commentary in this post was worthy of an Oscar it had me laughing so much. For watching this film you all deserve a service to humanity award and I hope you all make a full recovery.

  4. 4

    @2 – “Like Rearden turning down paying clients out of pure spite…”

    Sounds like a number of companies trying to using the ACA as an excuse to cut workers hours and avoid supporting their health insurance. Purely out of spite…

  5. 5

    I haven’t seen the film adaptations, but I read the book.

    Yes, it’s a massive plot hole around Rearden Metal. If Hank wouldn’t give up the formula, it would have yielded to the sort of analysis that could have been performed in any secondary school chemistry lab.

    As for the motor, if the principle had been workable at all, there is still every chance that it might have been independently re-invented from scratch by someone with a mindset closer to Jonas Salk.

Comments are closed.