Evil Perverts

Hey, I called called an “evil pervert” by a Christian! Right here in a comment on my blog. Ingrid, too.

I feel sorry for your cats. They deserve better than to live with two evil perverts.

Well, they got it half right.

I gotta say: it’s been a while since I’ve actually been called “evil.” Kind of an odd experience.

What’s really funny about this is the comment about the cats. Like our cats really care whether their caretakers are atheist dykes. (I assume the “perverts” part is referring to the dyke thing.) I mean, if anything, the opposite is true. If I believed in reincarnation, and could choose my next life? I’d come back as a lesbians’ cat. We are the biggest suckers for cats on the planet. We have “SUCKER” written on our foreheads in cat language.

If the rest of the comment had hadn’t been in such deadly earnest, the concern trolling for our cats would make me call Poe. As Adam Lee (Daylight Atheism) said when I told him (after he stopped laughing): “Who will tell your cats about Jesus?

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Evil Perverts
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56 thoughts on “Evil Perverts

  1. 1

    Well, I have to admit, I never thought the appropriate time to share this on an atheist blog would come. But in case you need to prove to said commenter that cats really don’t give a shit about “evil” perverts, Greta, you should google the Tumblr blog “Indifferent cats in amateur porn”. It is exactly what it sounds like (NSFW, naturally) and hilarious.

  2. 4

    They deserve better than to live with two evil perverts.

    An alternative interpretation is that they think your cats deserve better than to live with two such lacklustre wishy-washy ‘evil’ people, ‘evil’ and ‘perverted’ barely register as wicked traits. They’re a solitary step above *shudders* ‘decent.’ This is not good enough! Cats should be living with malevolent super-villains! You need a lair, a collection of pre-prepared one-liners, a unique costume, an implausible weapon, and some kind of ridiculous subordinate for a start.

    (I assume the “perverts” part is referring to the dyke thing.)

    I assumed they were referring to your vicious usage of a morris dancing photograph. You launched it on to the world without warning, your intent could only be to inflict trauma. In addition, anyone that regards morris dancing as a sane pursuit is irredeemably depraved.

  3. 5

    The Indifferent Cats in Amateur Porn tumblr is simply amazing. (Also, the 3 bestest cats in the universe reside in the Mattir Homeschool Den of Chaos and are UpDown, Ciege, and Turing.)

  4. 8

    Ha! You people are just amateurs at being evil. We have;

    Georgie
    Joey
    Billy
    Tibby
    Boots
    Max
    Blue
    Felix
    Smudge
    Irish
    Sabrina
    Mitty
    Button
    Sally
    Linx
    and Fu Manchu.
    I think it has something to do with my wife being English.

  5. 10

    Just for the record, I’m a straight male, and have had the “SUCKER” tattoo on my forehead for years, as several cats can attest. So it’s not just lesbians.

  6. DLC
    12

    PS : yes, I also have “sucker” in invisible cat-speak tattoo on my forehead. But only one cat. one fat, annoying black cat. who unfortunately likes to nap on the black area rug. D’oh!

  7. 13

    Yeah, cats+dykes= indefatigable force.

    Cats see us as a source of food and boobs. They seem to really be obsessed with racks, like really obsessed. We don’t have cats of our own for various reasons, but when our gay guy neighbours did; their kitkids used to fight over those lovely, warm, built-in shelves that the dykey ladies provided.

    It’s hard to drink coffee when there’s a cat doing her Harley impersonation on your chest.

  8. 14

    Have been reading my way all around the ftb blogs in recent months, and finally had to delurk and comment!

    Yours is one of my favorites as one evil pervert dyke with cats to another–our ‘high’ point a few years ago was 13 indoor cats, all rescued–but I’m also a pervert for good writing.

  9. 15

    I don’t know about corrupting the cats, but we have to be very careful with our sex toys lest our labrador retrievers make off with them. They’re convinced that our toys are their toys and will take them off the bed while we’re en flagrante if we are lax about closing the door on them. They think it’s great fun to have us chase them around the house when they do this.

  10. 18

    Go ahead and tell your cats about Jesus. Then tell us about the looks on their faces

    Seconded. And if you could film it, that would be awesome.

    btw, I tried the above experiment on my cat. He walked over to his food bowl, sat next to it and stared at me. I think he’s making a sarcastic statement about non-stop fishes and loaves (minus the loaves)

  11. 19

    Cats are so used to living with evil perverts. They’re just not used to being ignored while you do the horizontal bop.

    Seriously, “Evil perverts” sounds so very retro, it kind of makes me nostalgic for the early 90s. I think I’ll go play some Nirvana, now.

  12. 21

    Right, you’ve been called an evil pervert by somebody who gets their morals from an unmarried Father, an illegitimate Son, and a Spirit who got someone else’s fiancee pregnant.

    I bet you really feel bad now, doncha.

  13. 24

    Frankly, your anger has clouded your mind. Anger always eats at the hater, not the hated.

    I feel sorry for you, Greta.

  14. 26

    Humorously linking this quote back to post #1

    Cats should be living with malevolent super-villains! You need a lair, a collection of pre-prepared one-liners, a unique costume, an implausible weapon, and some kind of ridiculous subordinate for a start.

    This sounds like a fairly awesome “prompt” and setting for some amateur porn. Amateur porn with a certain geek appeal.

  15. 27

    “I’d come back as a lesbians’ cat. We are the biggest suckers for cats on the planet. We have “SUCKER” written on our foreheads in cat language. ”

    Well… I had suspected I was really a Lesbian with a Dick for a long time now. This just confirms it.

    Kittehs…. (sigh)

  16. 28

    I feel sorry for your cats. They deserve better than to live with two evil perverts.

    Dear God! Will no one think of the children… er, cats?

  17. 29

    Greta, why do you have to keep rubbing it in my face that you have cats and I don’t? It isn’t nice, and makes me feel sad. ;_;

    #FTBullies

  18. 31

    Like your cats, our cats don’t care that they’re served by two evil perverts. They only care that they’re loved and fed.

  19. 32

    Right, you’ve been called an evil pervert by somebody who gets their morals from an unmarried Father, an illegitimate Son, and a Spirit who got someone else’s fiancee pregnant.

    Deacon Duncan @ #21: And the funny thing is… I’m not the one who thinks those things are immoral. (Well, except the “someone else’s fiancee” thing. Assuming they were monogamous, of course.)

  20. 36

    Here I was, thinking that you are such a consistently good writer, that it never occurred to me to be concerned about what you do when you’re not writing.

  21. 38

    Damn, if I could purr and grow fur and a tail, I’d totally be chillin’ on evil lezbo comforters.

    Any chance I could get an audition the next time I’m in SF? I’m not trying to be kinky or forward–I just wanna hang out with your cats, and maybe get my picture seen by tons of evil people.

  22. 39

    “I feel sorry for your cats. They deserve better than to live with two evil perverts.”

    Maybe this person thinks you and Ingrid need a roommate? I mean, why should your cats live with *two* ~evil perverts~ when they could instead live with *three* ~evil perverts~? More bipeds to provide food and scritches and clean the litter box, after all.

  23. 40

    It is so sad when otherwise good, god fearing cats are forced to turn away from their Lord and Savior Jesus-Kitty. You are probably even teaching them that the evolved from lower forms of life like lions and tigers.

    They are doomed to spend eternity roasting in Hell with K9-Satan.

    Sheesshhhhhh …

  24. 49

    I feel sorry for your cats. They deserve better than to live with two evil perverts.

    1- Lovely how this person can say with complete confidence that two people xe probably doesn’t know are evil. Personally, I try to take some time to get to know someone before declaring they’re evil.
    2- How do you define evil when it encompasses so many actions? Abortion is evil. Homosexuality is evil. Gambling is evil. Idolatry is evil. Hey, here’s a nifty one:

    Treating the poor contemptuously is considered evil – Deut. 15:9: “Beware lest there be a wicked thought in your heart, saying, ‘The seventh year, the year of release, is at hand,’ and your eye be evil against your poor brother and you give him nothing, and he cry out to the LORD against you, and it become sin among you.”
    http://www.letusreason.org/Biblexp146.htm

    Where do murder, rape, genocide, sexism, misogyny, and slavery fit? Is there a Spectrum of Good & Evil (where abortion, homosexuality, gambling, idolatry, and contempt for the poor are at the evil extreme, and murder, rape, genocide, sexism, misogyny and slavery are are slightly left of center)?

  25. 50

    Blake:

    Evil seldom sees itself as evil. But consider the way you treat people, Greata, its worth thinking about.

    So does satan see himself as evil?
    How does a *concept* such as evil have any perception?
    Have you met Greta to know how she treats people? You imply some knowledge of how she treats others, so please share. What is she doing that could remotely be seen as evil.
    What is she supposed to think about? You haven’t given her anything *to* think about. You strung together some words to make a poorly thought post. Do you also expect Greta to read your mind to make sure she lives up to your definition of evil (y’know, since you didn’t explain anything)?
    Also, I’ve found it polite to spell the blog hosts’ name correctly.

  26. 51

    1. Videos of cats being told about Jesus seems like the best atheist video meme idea since the denying-the-holy-spirit deluge.

    2. I’m disappointed that the only concern seems to be for your cats. What about your furniture?!

  27. 52

    Blake:

    Frankly, your anger has clouded your mind. Anger always eats at the hater, not the hated.

    I feel sorry for you, Greta.

    Where on Earth does Greta appear angry in her post? Oh, it’s not on this Earth. Gotcha.
    Can I borrow that anti matter universe copy of Greta’s post?

  28. 54

    I’m…something…and also allergic to cats.

    “Frankly, your anger has clouded your mind.” When it comes to pets, the only question is whether or not they are cared for.

    Greta and her wife’s cats look very happy and loved. Where is the angry and who has the clouded mind on what’s right?

  29. 56

    Wow! That phrase, ‘We have “SUCKER” written on our foreheads in cat language,’ is word for word exactly what my wife has been saying of us over 20 years now! No, really! Exactly! And, I know you’re not my wife, for sure. We have two Abbys.

    I haven’t ever met a cat lover who was evil. Mischievous maybe, strange maybe, but not evil.

    Keep up the good work! When they start calling you names, it’s because they’ve run out anything better! 🙂

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