Frivolous Friday: Meta-Merch

Frivolous Fridays are the Orbit bloggers’ excuse to post about fun things we care about that may not have serious implications for atheism or social justice. Any day is a good day to write about whatever the heck we’re interested in (hey, we put “culture” in our tagline for a reason), but we sometimes have a hard time giving ourselves permission to do that. This is our way of encouraging each other to take a break from serious topics and have some fun. Enjoy!

One of my favorite super-nerdy pop-culture phenonema is meta-merch: T-shirts, coffee mugs, and other swag that advertise, not the show or the characters in the show, but products or shows or games that are featured in the show.

Examples: Ingrid has a Crying Breakfast Friends T-shirt from Steven Universe:

crying breakfast friends shirt

And I might get a Cookie Cat shirt at some point:

Cookie Cat shirt
Continue reading “Frivolous Friday: Meta-Merch”

Frivolous Friday: Meta-Merch
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A Practical Guide to a Post-Apocalyptic Life: More on Recovering From Depression

depression photo

The comment policy for this post is different from my usual one. It’s at the end of the post. Content note: depression, obviously.

How — specifically, in a practical sense — do I live with the understanding that I have chronic recurrent mental illness?

I have chronic episodic depression, and probably will for the rest of my life. I’m getting better now, I’ve been better for a few months; but I accept that this is a chronic illness and I could get depressed again at any time. A few days ago, I wrote a piece about What All This Means: it was useful for me to write (a lot of my writing about depression is as much for myself as for anyone else), but it was a little philosophical, a little abstract and meta. So I’m writing this practical guide to how I plan to live as a currently healthy person who has a chronic recurring mental illness.

None of this is intended to tell anyone else with depression what’s right for them. This is entirely an account of what I think is right for me, written largely so that I can refer back to it later if I need to. If you find any of this useful, please take what you need and leave the rest. Continue reading “A Practical Guide to a Post-Apocalyptic Life: More on Recovering From Depression”

A Practical Guide to a Post-Apocalyptic Life: More on Recovering From Depression

Insomnia, and Falling Asleep as an Activity

bed

The comment policy for this post is different from my usual one. It’s at the end of the post. Content note: passing mentions of depression.

There was a time when sleep was easy. It was so easy, I literally didn’t understand how it could be not-easy. I lay down at the end of the day, and in ten minutes I was asleep. It felt like pure, physical cause-and-effect: falling asleep at the end of the day was like falling down if I rolled off the bed. It just — happened. How could it not happen?

But age happened, and menopause, and post-trauma, and depression, and anti-depressants with a stimulant effect. Sleep got more and more elusive. At this point in my life, some degree of insomnia is no longer the exception — it’s the norm. And I had a realization a little while ago that’s been helping me deal with it:

Falling asleep is no longer something that happens to me. It’s an activity. It’s something I do.

eye
I can’t just lie down at the end of the day and expect sleep to happen. If I lie down and let my brain do whatever it’s inclined to do, it will stay up until at least four in the morning. At best, it’ll think about blogging ideas, book ideas, self-aggrandizing fantasies, re-casting of favorite TV shows, movie mashups, social plans, to-do lists, made-up theologies — it’ll just generally entertain itself. At worst, it’ll replay its long litany of fears and regrets and worst-case scenarios. What it will not do is shut up and go to sleep. It wants to be awake.

So to fall asleep, I have to go through a deliberate series of mental techniques. Continue reading “Insomnia, and Falling Asleep as an Activity”

Insomnia, and Falling Asleep as an Activity

Frivolous Friday: The Molecular Mixology Scene from Parks and Recreation

Frivolous Fridays are the Orbit bloggers’ excuse to post about fun things we care about that may not have serious implications for atheism or social justice. Any day is a good day to write about whatever the heck we’re interested in (hey, we put “culture” in our tagline for a reason), but we sometimes have a hard time giving ourselves permission to do that. This is our way of encouraging each other to take a break from serious topics and have some fun. Enjoy!

Parks and Recreation Molecular Mixology bar from Two Parties

One of the things I like best about Parks and Recreation is that the humor is exaggerated enough to be absurd, while being close enough to reality to be identifiable. I can laugh at the foibles I recognize in myself and other people, without it being so awkwardly recognizable that it makes me squirm. It’s more like, “Lord, what fools we mortals be!”

The Molecular Mixology scene from the Two Parties episode is a prime example. I have never, in fact, been to this bar, it’s ridiculous — and yet I have totally been to this bar.

I also love the fact that the bachelor party starts off with a rousing game of “Settlers of Catan.”

Frivolous Friday: The Molecular Mixology Scene from Parks and Recreation

Godless Perverts Social Club in Oakland Thursday, April 21!

Godless Perverts Social Club banner for april 21

We’re having a Godless Perverts Social Club in our wonderful new Oakland location, Thursday, April 21! 7-9 pm. We have a new location for the Oakland Godless Perverts Social Clubs — we’re now meeting at Rudy’s Can’t Fail Cafe, 1805 Telegraph Avenue, next to the Fox Theater (and right near the 19th St. Oakland BART station). Rudy’s Can’t Fail is a fun, friendly space that serves meals, small bites, beer, cocktails, soft drinks, and desserts. We’re meeting in the back room/ dining car, which is ridiculously cute: the dining car has somewhat limited space, probably enough for all of us, but it’s a good idea to arrive on time if you want to be sure to get a seat. The Oakland Social Clubs are on the third Thursday of the month (First Tuesdays are still in San Francisco at Wicked Grounds.)

Community is one of the reasons we started Godless Perverts. There are few enough places to land when you decide that you’re an atheist; far fewer if you’re also LGBT, queer, kinky, poly, trans, or are just interested in sexuality. And the sex-positive/ alt-sex/ whatever- you- want- to- call- it community isn’t always the most welcoming place for non-believers.

So please join us! Hang out with other nonbelievers and chat about sex, sexuality, gender, atheism, religion, science, social justice, pop culture, and more. All orientations, genders, and kinks (or lack thereof) are welcome. We meet on the third Thursday of every month at Rudy’s Can’t Fail Cafe (we also meet on the first Tuesday of every month at Wicked Grounds, 289 8th Street at Folsom in San Francisco, near Civic Center BART). 7-9 pm. Admission is free, although we do ask that you buy food and/or drink at the venue.

Godless Perverts presents and promotes a positive view of sexuality without religion, by and for sex-positive atheists, agnostics, humanists, and other non-believers, through performance events, panel discussions, social gatherings, media productions, and other appropriate outlets. Our events and media productions present depictions, explorations, and celebrations of godless sexualities — including positive, traumatic, and complex experiences — focusing on the intersections of sexuality with atheism, materialism, skepticism, and science, as well as critical, questioning, mocking, or blasphemous views of sex and religion.

Godless Perverts is committed to feminism, diversity, inclusivity, and social justice. We seek to create safe and welcoming environments for all non-believers and believing allies who are respectful of the mission, and are committed to taking positive action to achieve this. Please let the moderators or other people in charge of any event know if you encounter harassment, racism, misogyny, transphobia, or other problems at our events.

If you want to be notified about all our Godless Perverts events, sign up for our email mailing list, follow us on Twitter at @GodlessPerverts, or follow us on Facebook. You can also sign up for the Bay Area Atheists/ Agnostics/ Humanists/ Freethinkers/ Skeptics Meetup page, and be notified of all sorts of godless Bay Area events — including many Godless Perverts events. And of course, you can always visit our Website to find out what we’re up to, godlessperverts.com. Hope to see you soon!

Godless Perverts Social Club in Oakland Thursday, April 21!

Colonoscopy Day

digestive system illustration grays anatomy Gray1223

Content note: medical grossness.

It’s colonoscopy day. Oh, joy.

Today, I eat nothing but clear liquids all day: ginger ale, apple juice, broth, Jell-o (but not red, orange, or purple). This afternoon I take laxatives that should be banned by the Geneva Convention, laxatives that taste like citrus-flavored poison and feel like your insides have been sucked into a black hole and shot out the other side. This evening I spend all evening coping with the inevitable result. Tonight I sleep on the sofa, since it’s close to the bathroom. Tomorrow morning I take one more round of torture laxatives, and then go in for the colonoscopy itself, which is by far the least unpleasant part of this process. Tomorrow afternoon and evening I collapse on the sofa and feel sorry for myself.

Colonscopy prep supplies laxatives and clear liquids

And then I pencil in a reminder to make another appointment next year. I do this every year. Not every ten years, or every five. Every. Fucking. Year.

On the other hand:

I get to not have cancer. Continue reading “Colonoscopy Day”

Colonoscopy Day

Women Are Not Consumer Goods: Lessons on Modesty and Chastity

store photo

Content note: sexism, objectification of women, rape and sexual assault, victim blaming for rape and sexual assault.

Women are not consumer goods.

When women are given advice about sex and clothing, when we’re advised to be chaste and modest, a striking amount of that advice compares us to consumer goods. We’re told that we’re chewing gum, and nobody wants gum other people have chewed. We’re told that we’re candy, and nobody wants candy without the wrapper. We’re told that we’re iPads, so our manufacturer recommends using covers which protect us and make us more beautiful. We’re told that we’re diamonds or pearls, buried deep in the ground or the ocean, valuable because we’re hard to reach. We’re told that we’re shoes, and nobody wants used, smelly, second-hand shoes. We’re told that we’re apples: the best are the hard-to-reach ones at the top of the tree, the worst are the rotten ones that fall off the tree and can be picked up by anyone, and only the best of men will go to the trouble of climbing the tree for the apples that are hard to get. We’re told that we’re cars or expensive watches or wads of cash, and if we’re left unlocked, or are flashed in dangerous neighborhoods, we should expect to be stolen. We’re told that we’re meat, and if we’re dangled in front of hungry dogs we should expect to get eaten. We’re told that we’re cows and that sex with us is milk, and we’re asked why anyone would buy the cow if they could get the milk for free.

And somehow, all of this is supposed to make us feel valued, and is supposed to teach us to value ourselves. Continue reading “Women Are Not Consumer Goods: Lessons on Modesty and Chastity”

Women Are Not Consumer Goods: Lessons on Modesty and Chastity

Humanist Disaster Recovery Drive for Ecuador Earthquake

humanist disaster recovery drive banner

The Humanist Disaster Recovery Drive is raising funds to help victims of the recent Ecuador earthquake. On Saturday, April 16th, a 7.8 magnitude earthquake hit about 17 miles (27km) from Muisne, Ecuador at a relatively shallow depth of 11.9 miles (19.2km). Shallow earthquakes create more damage because of their proximity to the earth’s surface. On Sunday evening, the government reported that 246 people had died and 2,527 were injured.

With estimates of at least $100 million dollars in damage, a state of emergency has been declared and the casualties and damage reports are expected to rise as the rescue effort is ongoing. Disaster relief organizations such as Team Rubicon, UNICEF, and International Medical Corps are watching the situation and are expected to mobilize soon, and the Ecuador Red Cross has already mobilized in the affected region.

100% of the donations raised during this drive will be going to a secular organization working on the ground in response and recovery of this devastated region. HDR Drive is a cooperative program between Foundation Beyond Belief and American Humanist Association (note: I’m on the FBB board of directors). You can help with donations of money, or by spreading the word about the fundraising drive. We can be good without God — let’s show it.

Humanist Disaster Recovery Drive for Ecuador Earthquake

Frivolous Friday: The Dungeons & Dragons Sex Scene from “Community”

community-annie-dungeons-and-dragons-hector-the-well-endowed

Frivolous Fridays are the Orbit bloggers’ excuse to post about fun things we care about that may not have serious implications for atheism or social justice. Any day is a good day to write about whatever the heck we’re interested in (hey, we put “culture” in our tagline for a reason), but we sometimes have a hard time giving ourselves permission to do that. This is our way of encouraging each other to take a break from serious topics and have some fun. Enjoy!

This may be the hottest, kinkiest, funniest sex scene I’ve seen on prime-time broadcast TV.

I’ve been re-watching Community, a smart, well-written, mostly good-natured comedy show that plays like TV Tropes in sitcom form, with episodes riffing on Westerns, Star Wars, Ken Burns documentaries, M*A*S*H, The Breakfast Club, and more, more, more. The other day I watched the “Advanced Dungeons & Dragons” episode (S2 E14) — and this scene jumped out at me, for reasons that will become obvious when you watch it. (Brief setup: The group is playing Dungeons & Dragons, Abed is the Dungeonmaster who at the moment is playing the role of an elf maiden, Annie is playing Hector the Well-Endowed.) I love the gender-switching in the role-play; I love Troy taking notes; I love, love, LOVE the moment when Annie holds up two fingers, then three, then four, then folds her thumb under. It’s amazing what TV writers manage to get away with, using just a little inventiveness.

(Content note: There’s a bit of not-great consent at the beginning, in a fantasy play-acting context.)

BTW, if anyone knows how to lip-read, I’d love to know what the characters are saying.

Frivolous Friday: The Dungeons & Dragons Sex Scene from “Community”

We Did It!

Comet looking at The Orbit on laptop
The Orbit passed $10,000 in our Kickstarter! Specifically, we raised $10,125, with 247 backers.

We are so happy with our success — clearly, a good number of people want us to do this work, enough to put their money where their mouth is (where their mouths are?), or to spread the word and encourage other people to contribute. We hit our base goal of $5,000 in just over a day, and $10,000 was our second stretch goal.

Because we hit our base goal, we’ll cover our costs to launch and run The Orbit for a year. Because we hit our first stretch goal, we’ll put on an online conference dedicated to the topics we cover. And because we hit our second stretch goal, we’ll release an ebook compilation of some of the best writing The Orbit’s authors have to offer. We’re so happy to be able to do all this!

Many, many thanks to all our backers. Many thanks also go to everyone who spread the word about our Kickstarter on Facebook, Twitter, and elsewhere. And big thanks go to everyone who’s just been spreading the word about The Orbit and sharing our posts. The Orbit is in many ways a community site — we want to be a home for nonbelievers who’ve been harmed by religious culture, who feel estranged from movement atheism and alone among progressives — and it’s amazing that our community sees it that way, to, and is invested in our success. Thanks once again! We’ll do you proud.

We Did It!