#DIYSciZone Act of Whimsy: Battlefield Earth transcript #GGC16

As part of the DIY Science Zone fundraising for Geek Girl Con, we set a number of fundraising goals wherein our amateur and professional scientists offer self-torture as incentive. This year I’ll be reprising my demos on randomness and probability, only this time I’ll be doing it in context of Zombie Dice, as a tie-in with the Gaming Zone. This is going to be a ton of fun! And brains. Lots of brains.

DIY Science Zone logo

As part of our $1500 fundraising goal, I agreed to live-tweet Battlefield Earth. Whaaaaaat a stinker. A meandering mess of displays of every baser human instinct, written by that same guy who founded that one religion. You know the one.

A few Mock The Movie stalwarts voluntarily threw themselves on my pyre in solidarity. I am Hashtag-Blessed to find myself among such friends and/or fellow masochists.

Once the fundraiser hits $3000, this year I’ll be doing a twitch stream long-play of the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for NES. I haven’t played it in at least fifteen years. I promise I’ll be rusty as hell and will likely die a lot. Hooray! If you want to help get us there, here’s the donation form. We bring science demos to kids on an all-volunteer basis, and the cost helps pay for this zone — without this annual fundraising, we couldn’t continue this excellent annual tradition of getting the kids who visit Geek Girl Con excited about STEM fields!

@lousycanuck: Okay. Saturday night, 9pmCST, I live-mock Battlefield Earth for #DIYSciZone. Follow @MockTM if you want to see it.
2016-08-25 03:35:18
@lousycanuck: 2h15m til our experiment. Method: a live-tweeting of Battlefield Earth for #DIYSciZone #GGC16. Hypothesis: PAIN. Follow @MockTM to watch!
2016-08-27 23:46:35
@MockTM: You should follow @lousycanuck as well as @MockTM to *properly* watch Battlefield Earth livetweeting 🙂 #DIYSciZone https://t.co/XZtfiiHuSp
2016-08-27 23:49:10
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Am I having a conversation with myself here? Probably! But if you don’t follow both accounts, you won’t see it!
2016-08-27 23:50:11
@CA7746: @MockTM @lousycanuck There there. Battlefield Earth, the movie, is only like… *half* of the book (1000+ pages). https://t.co/uGuk9BJ0nI
2016-08-28 00:05:50
@lousycanuck: @CA7746 @MockTM Which half.
2016-08-28 00:06:56
@CA7746: @MockTM @lousycanuck Oh, it’s not a good sign when the back cover promises “pathos”.
2016-08-28 00:07:36
@lousycanuck: @CA7746 @MockTM Tell ya what, you read it while I watch it. Let’s see if you can keep up!
2016-08-28 00:10:45
@CA7746: @lousycanuck @MockTM Been there done that. *shudder*
2016-08-28 00:12:57
@CA7746: @lousycanuck @MockTM 1st half, human uprising. / Second half: global ethnic stereotypes nuke the aliens… ALL of them. IIRC (*sorry brain*)
2016-08-28 00:20:17
@lousycanuck: @CA7746 @MockTM Forewarned is four-armed
2016-08-28 00:49:02
@CA7746: @lousycanuck @MockTM Wiki film desc: After a week of training the rebels launch a mass uprising against the Psychlos using Harrier jump-jets
2016-08-28 01:03:39
@lousycanuck: Starting Battlefield Earth in 10 mins. Thanks so much to @DrRubidium for this opportunity for masochism. #DIYSciZone #GGC16 @MockTM
2016-08-28 01:51:23
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Let the movie commence.
2016-08-28 02:00:10
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Man, there’s a lot of studios associated with this.
2016-08-28 02:01:01
@blotzphoto: @lousycanuck @MockTM may God have mercy on your souls.
2016-08-28 02:01:06
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Oh good, the totally-legally-obtained copy of this has German text. I can’t understand what’s happening. Don’t care to either.
2016-08-28 02:01:48
@ImprobableJoe: @lousycanuck @MockTM You poor miserable man.
2016-08-28 02:01:54
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Okay… so far, I can glean that we’re in Skyrim, and there’s a girl who will never set her sights elsewhere. I’m with you, movie.
2016-08-28 02:02:42
@biakestacey: @MockTM Well, boys, we’re up Morgan Creek without a paddle on this one.
2016-08-28 02:03:18
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “The gods took your father in the night.” “Which gods? I’ll find and fight them!”
2016-08-28 02:03:29
@biakestacey: @MockTM Sitten und watchen das Battlefieldlichten!
2016-08-28 02:03:41
@lousycanuck: @MockTM @biakestacey Are you throwing yourself on this pyre voluntarily!? Solidarity fistbump!
2016-08-28 02:04:07
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “That is our fate.” “Only if you believe in fate. I mean, I believe in gods, but not fate.”
2016-08-28 02:04:33
@biakestacey: @MockTM Skiing season looks pretty iffy this year.
2016-08-28 02:04:37
@arclight: @lousycanuck @DrRubidium @MockTM COUNT ALL THE SPLIT-WIPES! #forthoseabouttowatchwesaluteyou
2016-08-28 02:04:45
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “You can handle yourself better than most men, and I’d know, because I’ve tried em all.”
2016-08-28 02:05:12
@lousycanuck: @arclight @DrRubidium @MockTM One so far. Several slowmo fades
2016-08-28 02:05:40
@biakestacey: @MockTM Filmed on location in the quarry the BBC gave up on
2016-08-28 02:06:04
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Seeing this dude on the horse reminds me I’d rather be watching Cowboys vs Aliens.
2016-08-28 02:06:21
@biakestacey: @MockTM “It’s just a hop to the left, a demon to the right…”
2016-08-28 02:06:37
@lousycanuck: @MockTM You’re all afraid of an animatronic dinosaur in an overgrown theme park? ‘kay.
2016-08-28 02:07:03
@biakestacey: @MockTM I think the movie needs to get its inner ear checked.
2016-08-28 02:07:15
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Earth: The Show-Me Planet
2016-08-28 02:08:20
@biakestacey: @MockTM “What do you know about gods? Where did you obtain your theology doctorate?”
2016-08-28 02:08:58
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Driving into special caves with golden arches and food would magically appear. I bet they call this The Legend Of The Dairy Queen.
2016-08-28 02:09:13
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Okay, sure, you don’t recognize that plexiglass, I’ll accept that. But why were you walking full stride at something knee height?
2016-08-28 02:10:42
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Loudest laser ever.
2016-08-28 02:11:07
@biakestacey: @MockTM Hero credibility shatered forever
2016-08-28 02:11:17
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Forget about me, I’m just an extra, your quest is too important… guy we followed to get food from.”
2016-08-28 02:11:58
@biakestacey: @MockTM It’s mall security, and they are pissed!
2016-08-28 02:12:23
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Clearly this guy is from Stormtrooper Academy
2016-08-28 02:12:37
@lousycanuck: @MockTM @biakestacey Paul Blart, Mall Psychlo
2016-08-28 02:12:58
@biakestacey: @MockTM This scene was cut from the theatrical release, you know, but they restored it for the Director’s version on DVD.
2016-08-28 02:13:21
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Despite all his rage, he is still just a rat in a cage.
2016-08-28 02:13:26
@biakestacey: @MockTM … The horse is supposed to prove that he’s a Replicant, but I don’t see how.
2016-08-28 02:13:56
@biakestacey: @MockTM I guess there are enough random humans wandering about that this is a worthwhile use of the aliens’ time?
2016-08-28 02:15:09
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Building a giant dome over Denver and using it to “repurpose” humans is as good a use of it as any I guess.
2016-08-28 02:16:12
@biakestacey: @MockTM So, not only is the movie tilted, it’ll be too foggy to tell what’s going on.
2016-08-28 02:16:49
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “You can’t use it if it’s dead.” “Not like I have much use for it now.”
2016-08-28 02:16:59
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Someone stop that human! He shot someone!” “Ehh, not my problem.”
2016-08-28 02:17:14
@biakestacey: @MockTM ::siiiiiiiiiighhhhh::
2016-08-28 02:18:46
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Now THERE’S some of that scientific curiosity I was hoping for! Replication of results!
2016-08-28 02:19:06
@lousycanuck: @MockTM HOW DO YOU LIKE IT, HUH? HOW DO YOU LIKE BEING FORCED TO SHOWER!?
2016-08-28 02:19:47
@biakestacey: @MockTM “Well, I’m sure you’ve been to County before. Here it comes…”
2016-08-28 02:20:42
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Does all of Earth look like this… Detroit?” “Ugh, such blue skies.” “Oh no, that’s our doing, we stopped them from making smog.”
2016-08-28 02:21:26
@biakestacey: @MockTM Going from stealing a gun to stealing a spray nozzle feels like a downgrade.
2016-08-28 02:21:37
@biakestacey: @MockTM Nanoo nanoo!
2016-08-28 02:22:00
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “And then after we’re done exterminating humanity, what next?” “Well let me tell you about dogs.”
2016-08-28 02:22:23
@biakestacey: @MockTM How did aliens this fucking incompetent take over anything?
2016-08-28 02:24:02
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Never have I seen such animus in giving a person a guaranteed job for another fifty years.
2016-08-28 02:24:30
@biakestacey: @MockTM “Which is why we’ve decided to keep you on for another tour of service.” Wah-wah!
2016-08-28 02:24:33
@biakestacey: @MockTM “With endless options for renewal! Endles options for renewal! Lisa needs braces! Dental plan!”
2016-08-28 02:25:42
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Always sleep with your boss. Never sleep with your boss’ senator-in-his-pocket’s daughter.
2016-08-28 02:25:47
@biakestacey: @MockTM Meanwhile, on Planet Matte Painting
2016-08-28 02:27:07
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Travolta’s attempts at scenery-chewing here are… um. Not even laughable.
2016-08-28 02:27:28
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Put it on my tab.” “You don’t have a tab.” “Put it on his then. He has a drinking problem, he’ll never notice.”
2016-08-28 02:27:48
@biakestacey: @MockTM Is fifty cycles longer than twelve parsecs?
2016-08-28 02:27:50
@lousycanuck: @MockTM LET MORTAL KOMBAT BEGIN
2016-08-28 02:28:33
@biakestacey: @MockTM Step 1 to making an imposing villain: Have them dissed by their bartender
2016-08-28 02:29:04
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Four hit combo! And murder by oatmeal.
2016-08-28 02:29:25
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Here, here’s your extra portion, and your men can eat the stuff on your jacket.”
2016-08-28 02:30:04
@biakestacey: @MockTM Da da da da DA DA DA DA-DUM!
2016-08-28 02:30:07
@biakestacey: @MockTM “I wanted to put a laser blast between the eyes of every panda-animal that wouldn’t screw to save its species.”
2016-08-28 02:31:04
@biakestacey: @MockTM Inter-office memo DRAMA!
2016-08-28 02:31:44
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Shoot you? Hahaha, I was just going to torture you a bunch.”
2016-08-28 02:32:39
@lousycanuck: @MockTM What a revolutionary idea, using your slaves that you’ve been stocking and keeping alive at expense, as, you know, actual slaves.
2016-08-28 02:34:08
@lousycanuck: @MockTM They can teleport people, but they can’t mine without being in the mine personally. Okay. Sure.
2016-08-28 02:34:38
@biakestacey: @MockTM “Man-animals operating machine-equipment? Chortle-laughable!”
2016-08-28 02:35:44
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Quick, everyone, run to that one tiny gap in the falling tower!
2016-08-28 02:36:08
@lousycanuck: @MockTM GAH, you’re choking me by squeezing the back of my neck like that!!
2016-08-28 02:36:49
@lousycanuck: @MockTM I am completely lost now. And I’m 100% paying attention.
2016-08-28 02:38:46
@biakestacey: @MockTM “Wager’s off! Let’s shoot our own machines!”
2016-08-28 02:39:16
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Right, sure, mining the gold and sending it to Psychlo will totally make up for sleeping with the senator’s daughter.
2016-08-28 02:39:52
@ImprobableJoe: @lousycanuck @MockTM I’ve read the book(!) and I was kind of lost watching that crap.
2016-08-28 02:40:06
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Lucky Travolta told everyone earlier how he records everyone and how Number Two conveniently forgot three scenes later.
2016-08-28 02:40:38
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Oh thank goodness, the air in this sewer is breathable! Well, by some definitions.”
2016-08-28 02:41:06
@biakestacey: @MockTM Oh, he found the warp zone.
2016-08-28 02:42:04
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Man is a primitive species, so we need something primitive as leverage. Like… Netflix.”
2016-08-28 02:42:12
@biakestacey: @MockTM I don’t think that’s how favorite anything works
2016-08-28 02:43:19
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Start a fire? Who cooks rats.”
2016-08-28 02:43:32
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “We’re really going to have leverage over them now. We have a corner on the rat market!”
2016-08-28 02:44:16
@biakestacey: @MockTM Aliens who think that whatever humans are willing to eat after 3 days of starvation is their “favorite food”..conquered Earth. Yes.
2016-08-28 02:45:00
@lousycanuck: @MockTM That Batplane was NOT there five seconds ago, and it is NOT quiet.
2016-08-28 02:46:14
@biakestacey: @MockTM Ah! Johnny! … wait, do either of the other humans have names?
2016-08-28 02:46:52
@lousycanuck: @MockTM It’s vitally important that his holo-instructor inform you that his race is extinct because… pathos.
2016-08-28 02:48:00
@lousycanuck: @MockTM And the direct-download into his brain makes zero sense in context of the holo instructor. Awesome.
2016-08-28 02:49:21
@biakestacey: @MockTM Rosetta Stone! And Beyond the Infinite!
2016-08-28 02:49:25
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “They made him look into a light and downloaded Wikipedia into him.”
2016-08-28 02:49:38
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Look, why not just start with something like 2+2, instead of the grand unified theorem right off the bat.
2016-08-28 02:50:48
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Thought you were supposed to be working on stuff to help us escape.” “This will. I’m going to bore them to death with Pythagoras.”
2016-08-28 02:51:51
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Look, guns! Now we can have an infinite supply of rats!!”
2016-08-28 02:52:32
@biakestacey: @MockTM Hey, it worked in OVERDRAWN AT THE MEMORY BANK.
2016-08-28 02:53:12
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Hope is an admirable quality but foolish isn’t” “Uh, foolishNESS YOU MEAN?”
2016-08-28 02:53:35
@biakestacey: @MockTM Oh, right. She was in this movie.
2016-08-28 02:53:55
@lousycanuck: @MockTM I’m really impressed with how many bad ideas the bad guys have to engage in and how many good ideas they miss to justify this plot.
2016-08-28 02:56:04
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “I’m so impressed with your insurrection based on knowing stuff about Psychlos, that I’ll take you to a human library!” Great idea.
2016-08-28 02:57:16
@biakestacey: @MockTM This is where he sees THE WIZARD OF OZ and realizes where ZARDOZ came from, isn’t it?
2016-08-28 02:57:17
@lousycanuck: @MockTM *blows dust off book* “To Serve Humans?”
2016-08-28 02:57:42
@biakestacey: @MockTM “Huh. It’s a cookbook.”
2016-08-28 02:58:11
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Psychlos can destroy Earth and enslave humanity, but the absolute last straw is being mean to cows!
2016-08-28 02:59:01
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Let it be said that we took this one chance, and fart! I mean fought.”
2016-08-28 03:00:06
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Hey look, I found a hostage. She just happens to be the extra from earlier. Funny coinkydink, huh?”
2016-08-28 03:01:45
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “We found her with this picture of her on her. Clearly you drew it because, uh, you’re the only human we’ve ever seen draw anything”
2016-08-28 03:02:07
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Wait, WHO got their head blown off in that? Not the girl, not the dude… was there a third person with a collar? OH WHO CARES
2016-08-28 03:03:15
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “The gods respect thinkers” “With respect, the gods don’t exist, and thinkers generally piss off any that do?”
2016-08-28 03:03:55
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Here, hold this hair.” “Uh, okay.”
2016-08-28 03:04:43
@biakestacey: @MockTM Sammie! He got a name! And all he had to do was get his head blown off.
2016-08-28 03:05:12
@lousycanuck: @MockTM BUT YOU’LL NEVER TAKE OUR FREED– Uh, we’re all in cages
2016-08-28 03:05:16
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “She comes with other advantages.” *yoshi tongue* “OH MAN, you’ll be able to eat berries from SO FAR AWAY”
2016-08-28 03:06:50
@biakestacey: @MockTM Fun fact: This scene is scientifically proven to shrivel human gonads
2016-08-28 03:07:33
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Just sign here on this blank iPad”
2016-08-28 03:08:14
@lousycanuck: @MockTM These number-analogues sure are… analogous.
2016-08-28 03:09:40
@lousycanuck: @MockTM What a day for you! You get to get one over on me twice, and now you get to play video games. Beat my high score or die!!
2016-08-28 03:10:21
@lousycanuck: @MockTM This can’t possibly be a bad idea, giving this human a batplane.
2016-08-28 03:11:34
@biakestacey: @MockTM Surely this is essential for extracting rock from under the ground!
2016-08-28 03:11:58
@lousycanuck: @MockTM I would be impressed if so late in human civilization, there was ever a gold vein exposed to the surface like this.
2016-08-28 03:13:14
@lousycanuck: @MockTM The Legend of Fort Knocks
2016-08-28 03:13:25
@biakestacey: @MockTM Why are they wearing the nose tubes?
2016-08-28 03:13:45
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Ha ha, awoo. What are they saying? Who knows, but that was definitely a spear of friendship.”
2016-08-28 03:14:01
@ImprobableJoe: @lousycanuck @MockTM Worst. Aliens. Ever.
2016-08-28 03:14:36
@lousycanuck: @MockTM HA HA SEE THEY DON’T GET THAT MAP LINES ARE NOT LITERAL LINES, ughhhh
2016-08-28 03:14:47
@lousycanuck: @ImprobableJoe @MockTM This is absolutely the truth. They have teleportation technology but uplift some humans because WHAT COULD GO WRONG
2016-08-28 03:16:09
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “We stage our revolt inside this dome. The ancient writings call this a “bio-dome… buuuuuu-ddy”
2016-08-28 03:16:51
@ImprobableJoe: @lousycanuck @MockTM Is this whole thing an accidental attack on capitalism and/or libertarianism?
2016-08-28 03:17:30
@lousycanuck: @MockTM We’ve gone from uplifting humans from primitive technology levels, straight to both space travel and planet-busting nukes?
2016-08-28 03:18:00
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Surely these flight simulators don’t run on, like, power or anything. Power that requires generation. That the Psychlos would notice
2016-08-28 03:18:51
@biakestacey: @MockTM Fortunately, this tarp preserved the weapons under it for a thousand years!
2016-08-28 03:19:05
@lousycanuck: @ImprobableJoe @MockTM Any resemblance to social awareness is purely coincidental.
2016-08-28 03:19:29
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Piece of cake. Piece of cake. What’s cake? Who knows. But this is a piece of it.”
2016-08-28 03:19:46
@biakestacey: @MockTM I thought I could prepare myself for this

I was wrong

We were all wrong
2016-08-28 03:20:14
@ImprobableJoe: @lousycanuck @MockTM Must be, since this is about angled cameras and shouting bad dialogue
2016-08-28 03:20:17
@Supatravel_Guru: Jason Thibeault on Twitter: “@MockTM We’ve gone from uplifting humans from primitive technology levels, straight to… https://t.co/C13enzOrfo
2016-08-28 03:21:14
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Lucky we kept all the manuals on how to repair these nukes right next to them.
2016-08-28 03:21:42
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Sooo how are they getting to Psychlo? Are they seriously going to try to pilot their harriers into interstellar space?
2016-08-28 03:22:38
@biakestacey: @MockTM If he works the projector, I guess that makes Mickey the first nerd of the new civilization
2016-08-28 03:22:49
@ingdamnit: @lousycanuck @MockTM OH YOU POOR BASTARD
2016-08-28 03:23:07
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Yes, I’m sure the psychlos will believe these pre-smelted gold bars came from the ground.
2016-08-28 03:23:49
@biakestacey: @MockTM I need a drink
2016-08-28 03:26:04
@lousycanuck: @biakestacey @MockTM I have a drink and I don’t have the stomach for it with this movie
2016-08-28 03:26:33
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Children? Moving a little fast, aren’tcha? You took the collar off, not put one on, you know.”
2016-08-28 03:26:58
@biakestacey: @MockTM Back with a drink. And they’re playing keep-away while making monkey noises
2016-08-28 03:27:23
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Oh hey boss. Pull up a chair. Just watching some home videos.”
2016-08-28 03:27:56
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Ow. My hand.” “Walk it off.”
2016-08-28 03:29:52
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Ow. My face.” “Walk it off.”
2016-08-28 03:30:46
@biakestacey: @MockTM BATTLEFIELD EARTH. The movie that dares to declare, “Well, that was a thing that happened.”
2016-08-28 03:31:17
@biakestacey: @MockTM Hey, maybe I can drink this movie vertical.
2016-08-28 03:31:38
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “It turns out killing people might raise alarms, Johnny!!”
2016-08-28 03:31:48
@lousycanuck: @MockTM LOOKIT THAT ASPHALT FLY
2016-08-28 03:32:09
@biakestacey: @MockTM Swell timing, Johnny.
2016-08-28 03:32:14
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Ah, just like humans to start looting at the first sign of alien insurrection.
2016-08-28 03:33:06
@biakestacey: @MockTM It’s weird to think this post-dates THE MATRIX. It feels like a primordial bad movie from the depths of the before time
2016-08-28 03:33:26
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Seriously, it’s not like the psychlos have any investment in the plate glass windows on Goldman Sachs on 5th Avenue
2016-08-28 03:34:00
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Say hello to my little, poorly aimed friend
2016-08-28 03:34:26
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “BUT YOU’LL NEVER TAKE OUR SPACE HARRIERS”
2016-08-28 03:35:02
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Unga, Gronk use space bird to shoot bad-bads. Me press shiny buttons to make space bird go.”
2016-08-28 03:36:07
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Looks like nobody taught him about the eject buttons.
2016-08-28 03:36:45
@biakestacey: @MockTM Oh no! Not that guy!
2016-08-28 03:37:46
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Munitions depleted” is my John Travolta cover band.
2016-08-28 03:37:48
@biakestacey: @MockTM Munition depleted? Well, it happens to all guys now and then, don’t worry
2016-08-28 03:38:29
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “You know what you gotta do.” “Actually, uh, no. Nobody taught me how to read the script.”
2016-08-28 03:38:30
@biakestacey: @MockTM Something tells me I’m goin to be saying “oh no, not…that guy” several more times before this is all over
2016-08-28 03:39:04
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “We might want to get indoors sometime.”
2016-08-28 03:39:53
@biakestacey: @MockTM IT IS TIME FOR YOUR RAT LUNCH, MAN ANIMAL!
2016-08-28 03:40:17
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Attention everyone, we’ve decided to borrow a different movie’s plot. Time to Hunt the Most Dangerous Game!”
2016-08-28 03:40:28
@lousycanuck: @MockTM *pew pew* *splode* *me shrugging endlessly*
2016-08-28 03:41:07
@biakestacey: @MockTM Oh no! Not…those guys
2016-08-28 03:41:40
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “THIS IS AN ACTION MOVIE, NEVER SAY WE’RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT–aaaagh”
2016-08-28 03:42:04
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Yes, what a victory against the aliens, taking out… this one dome. On Earth. With the full extent of your munitions.
2016-08-28 03:43:17
@biakestacey: @MockTM They *really* wanted this to be INDEPENDENCE DAY, didn’t they?
2016-08-28 03:43:56
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Congrats guys, you finished the job, Detroit is destroyed. Way to go.
2016-08-28 03:44:35
@ImprobableJoe: @lousycanuck @MockTM Remember to lift one shoulder 15° higher than the other to match the angle of every shot in this flick.
2016-08-28 03:44:40
@biakestacey: @MockTM Wait. Why did they have to blow the dome before sending the planet-busting nuke to Psychlo through the teleport?
2016-08-28 03:44:40
@lousycanuck: @ImprobableJoe @MockTM I keep wanting to say “WHAT’S THIS? Our heroes caught in the dastardly clutches of the nefarious space no-goodniks?”
2016-08-28 03:45:35
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Tis but a scratch.
2016-08-28 03:46:38
@ImprobableJoe: @lousycanuck @MockTM I kept wondering when Adam West or Cesar Romero were going to burst in and gimme some POW! BANG! ZAP!
2016-08-28 03:47:04
@biakestacey: @MockTM All these guys, just chillin’ in formation on Psychlo, in case a Stave Three event happens to happen
2016-08-28 03:47:08
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Why the HELL did a nuke that powerful have a manual right next to it?
2016-08-28 03:47:37
@EnduringBeta: @lousycanuck @DrRubidium @MockTM Woah, don’t get dizzy from all the needless Dutch angles!!
2016-08-28 03:48:05
@biakestacey: @MockTM Hooray for genocide!
2016-08-28 03:48:33
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Hey. I genocided your race. You know, for all the genocides you did to us.” “Okay. Seems fair.”
2016-08-28 03:49:14
@biakestacey: @MockTM Carlo? Oh, right, Dude #3
2016-08-28 03:49:16
@lousycanuck: @MockTM “Oh right, we forgot about the big imposing dude behind us.”
2016-08-28 03:50:08
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Ha ha, I’m a traitor now. Isn’t that fun?
2016-08-28 03:50:50
@lousycanuck: @MockTM And the humans have all the gold in Fort Knox to show the universe how subjugation is REALLY done.
2016-08-28 03:51:40
@lousycanuck: @MockTM Now that they have the Psychlos technology and a penchant for warfare, these humans are a scarier monster than the Psychlos TBH.
2016-08-28 03:52:34
@biakestacey: @MockTM You know, I’d heard for years that this was a terrible movie among terrible movies. But a little part of me thought they exaggerated
2016-08-28 03:52:42
@biakestacey: @MockTM Now the only question is whether this year is the BATTLEFIELD EARTH of years or BATTLEFIELD EARTH is the 2016 of movies
2016-08-28 03:53:17
@lousycanuck: @MockTM What little I followed of this plot was an exercise in bad ideas by bad people all the way through. Typical of Hubbard.
2016-08-28 03:54:02
@lousycanuck: @MockTM I need to watch something good now to get that out of my system. I’ve been told to watch Death to Smoochy. I’ll do that now. Ughhhh.
2016-08-28 03:55:00
@biakestacey: @MockTM To truly appreciate the awfulness of BATTLEFIELD EARTH, you cannot be told. You must be shown.
2016-08-28 03:55:04
@CA7746: @MockTM I spent 2 hours searching an ebook for # of pages to reach the punchline.
It… may not be in there. About as rewarding as the film.
2016-08-28 03:55:54
@Doc_Destructo: @biakestacey @lousycanuck @MockTM
WITH ENDLESS OPTIONS FOR RENEWAL
ENDLESS OPTIONS FOR RENEWAL
ENDLESS OPTIONS FOR RENEWAL
2016-08-28 03:57:26
@lousycanuck: @Doc_Destructo @biakestacey @MockTM DENTAL PLAN
2016-08-28 03:57:42
@lousycanuck: @CA7746 @MockTM That was two hours better spent than actually watching the film, I assure you.
2016-08-28 03:58:33
@ChristineHaas6: @biakestacey @lousycanuck @MockTM my eyes! It burns!!!
2016-08-28 04:00:44

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#DIYSciZone Act of Whimsy: Battlefield Earth transcript #GGC16