(Fair warning: N-bombs and other such not-safe-for-work-without-earphones ridiculousness)

The pride of the South expounds upon the “gayness” of your President, over the banning of flavored chaw. A few questions are brought to mind immediately: Is that a carton of eggs on his stove? How drunk is this guy? Do these people really exist? Is he a parody? He MUST be. Please tell me he’s a parody.

“If I waz preziden’, I’d make everything legal. Evvverrrthang.”

Hat tip to Randall Milholland of Something*Positive.




8 thoughts on “A train wreck in EXTREMELY SLOW MOTION

  1. 1

    He says he’s in Edmonton, Kentucky. Metcalfe County there is a dry county, so he’s got to go elsewhere to buy his hooch, unless he makes his own.

    I have no doubt that the guy is absolutely for real. He’s 21 (or maybe 22 now) years old, probably not well educated, and a large part of his life seems to revolve around chewing tobacco. I could leave my house and find someone very much like this guy within about a mile. I’m not talking about anyone in particular, either. Quite a few people like this live in my area.

  2. 3

    Well, he is quite a bit south of me. The mentality of the people in question isn’t much different though. For a bit more to put this guy into perspective, he lives about 118 miles (190km) west by car from Manchester, Kentucky; the area where the census worker was killed last week.

    Though ostensibly speaking the same language, I thought I would need a translator when speaking with someone at a location in Kentucky nearly twenty years ago. Would it be that bad for you travelling in Newfoundland?

  3. 4

    It’s funny — the distance is about the same, and the difference in speech and mentality, between here and Newfoundland. However, where this guy speaks in such a drawl that I honestly can’t tell the difference between his ordinary speech and someone who’s three flags to the wind on good whiskey, a Newfie speaks with a dialect all of their own — it’s like a corruption of an Irish brogue with a hint of français, complete with its own vernacular. It’s generally lively and animated, and oftentimes way too fast to catch the English in it. If they slow down a bit, then you can usually communicate sans translator.

    I’ve probably picked up a good bit of the local Nova Scotian accent, and lost most of my French mannerisms (which I’ve noticed my sister has not — she still says “pitié”, pronounced pee-chay, and “au bein”). I’m sure once I meet any of you folks, no matter how eloquent and well spoken I think I am, you’ll laugh at how much like a stereotypical bilingual Canuck I sound.

  4. 5

    Both my British and American friends have commented on my ‘cute’ accent before. I, of course, don’t hear it. We’ll see if anyone else does.

  5. 6

    I happen (by accident of birth) to have been raised in a part of the US where the regional accent very closely approximates that of General American. (At least it did at that time.) It’s the US accent that isn’t supposed to indicate any particular region as your place of origin. That’s the one that the newscasters usually strive for when they try to give up their own regional accent, such as one from the south, northeast, upper midwest, etc.

  6. 7

    Anecdote time!

    Back in 1992 I took a two week trip to England. While there, I stopped in a tiny corner store to purchase a chocolate bar for a snack. There was about 4 or 5 people ahead of me, so I patiently waited for my turn. Two of the people seemed to have known the shop owner and chatted with him so it took almost 15-20 minutes to get to me.

    When I got up to the till, I grabbed a Snickers bar and asked the shopkeep for the total cost. He replied with the price, and then exclaimed that it was nice to be frequented by a Canadian. I was slightly taken aback, since almost everyone I had met in England had originally assumed I was an American (Disclaimer: I have lived all my life in BC and Alberta).

    I asked the shopkeep how he could tell I was Canadian, and he responded with two reasons: 1) I spoke faster than an American, but I enunciated my words much better, and 2) I was willing to wait in line and didn’t complain about how long it was taking to receive service.

  7. 8

    Hah! That’s awesome, Sinned. Though I’m far too impatient to wait that long for a chocolate bar, I wouldn’t have complained, I’d probably just have left.

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