CN: Reclaiming of queer-antagonistic slurs, misgendering, transmisogyny, lesbophobia
Like many people my age, I work many jobs to try to make ends meet. But although I have several side jobs, recently I’ve secured a primary job in retail where I actually receive benefits and insurance and other things befitting of an adult while I work toward grad school.
I like this job. I actually like retail better than other “customer service” jobs I’ve had. I totally grok sales, most of my coworkers end up being women or queer or both, and I love putting people and mannequins in outfits I would never wear, but still look great. It’s like dressing life-size Barbies and getting paid for it.
The last time I had a customer service job I was younger, “straight-ish”, and had a very feminine presentation. Now I am Grown, Gay, and have a very butch presentation. The job is still the same, with the same challenges and frustrations I expect and navigate while dealing with the public. Only now, I occasionally get called “Sir” after I’ve finished helping a customer. And it fucks me up sometimes. Continue reading ““Sir”: Misgendered as Dyke”
I am a trans woman. I am also a butch lesbian.
Despite what you may have heard, these are not contradicting identities.
A trans woman is a woman who was assigned male at birth by the medical industrial complex. This assignment is based entirely on the appearance of a phallus, specifically a phallus at least half-an-inch in length. That’s it.
A cis woman is a woman who was assigned female at birth by the medical industrial complex. This assignment is based entirely on the lack of a phallus (or a phallus less than half-an-inch, therefore acceptably small enough to be considered a clitoris). That’s it.
So forget whatever the hell you’ve heard about chromosomes, gonads, gametes, fertility, or anything else. (Chances are good you and your doctor have no idea what half of those are for you personally, anyway.) If you can accept that, it’s easy to accept how greatly variable everything else we take for granted about “sex” and “gender” is per individual.
Continue reading “Butch Is Not Just For Cis Women”
Attention Mainstream Feminism, I need you all to stop shitting on Barbie right the fuck now.
I used to think I had a complicated relationship with Barbie because I believed I had to if I was going to publicly identify as a feminist.
But you know what? I loved Barbie when I was a little girl! I loved playing Barbies with my little sister. I loved her remote control car that she could actually ride around in. I loved having her go on adventures with my Batman action figures. I loved making her go on dates (and have what I believed was sex) with other Barbies. Even now, I still get excited when I hear about Barbie becoming a computer programmer or a producer or an architect because I know little girls look up to Barbie and imagine themselves as her whenever they play with her.
Continue reading “In Defense of Barbie”
One of the fun parts of being a butch lesbian is playing with traditional gender norms and making them our own weird and beautiful brand of expression. As a butch lesbian who is also a trans woman, I thought it might be especially cathartic to take all of the well-intended advice about “how to be a gentleman” and make it queer by replacing all male identifiers with “butch”:
Continue reading “The Etiquette of a Butch”