Some Advice For Being Come Out To

Belated happy coming out day! I’d have come out as something this weekend but.. I wracked my brains and I have no idea what I have left to come out as. I’m a pretty open book at this stage. That, and the weekend was spent on roller derby- have I mentioned I’m hopelessly devoted to derby? I’d say ‘consider me an out ‘n’ proud derby fanatic’, but if you didn’t already know that, you haven’t been paying attention.

However, my having reached the bottom of my (current) barrel of things to come out as does leave me with a wealth of experience as a coming-outer, as well as someone being come out to. With that, here’s my advice for those of you on the receiving end of a coming out. Particularly for those of you who might have some out yourself, who are now listening to others come out to you.

What’s coming out?

When we hear that someone has come out, what do we think? Our first assumption- almost our automatic one- is that they have just said that they’re gay. Contrary to what popular culture would have us believe, coming out isn’t about saying you’re gay. Sometimes it might involve saying that you’re gay, of course- if gayness is the particular thing a person is coming out about that day. But gay is by no means the only, or even the primary, thing that a person might come out about. If coming out, then, isn’t about saying that you’re gay, then how can we as coming out-ees, think about it in a better way? Continue reading “Some Advice For Being Come Out To”

Some Advice For Being Come Out To