Frivolous Friday: The Writing Process

Frivolous Fridays are the Orbit bloggers’ excuse to post about fun things we care about that may not have serious implications for atheism or social justice. Any day is a good day to write about whatever the heck we’re interested in (hey, we put “culture” in our tagline for a reason), but we sometimes have a hard time giving ourselves permission to do that. This is our way of encouraging each other to take a break from serious topics and have some fun. Enjoy, and be sure to check out the other bloggers too!

The Writing Process

Every writer has a process. Some may be more efficient than others. This.. may or may not be mine.

  1. Decide to write a thing. This could go two ways. Maybe you’re washing my hair in the shower and get struck by inspiration. Maybe you’ve decided you’re bloody well writing a thing today so you’re gonna sit on the writing-chair next to the writing-desk until you get some goddamn words up on a screen. (This is a lie. We both know that I’m you’re in my PJs, the “writing chair” is a pile of pillows on my bed and the “writing desk” is my your lap. But let’s pretend it’s not? Let’s pretend that I you have a beautiful writing desk that isn’t covered in papers, and that writing desk looks out onto a beautiful view. Maybe there’s a hillside. Maybe that hillside has deer living on it. Maybe there’s a forest in one direction and a rocky seashore in the other.)

    distraction photo
    This person knows what I’m talkin’ about. Photo by ronocdh

  2. Make some tea. Can’t write without tea, everyone knows that.
  3. Turn on laptop.
  4. Laptop informs you that it has updates. You don’t want to use inferior tools for writing, so you let it install the updates and restart. You’ll just write out some notes on your notebook while I wait, right?
  5. Doodle on notebook. Finish tea.
  6. Make more tea.
  7. Laptop is updated and restarted!
  8. Decide which of the 5 or so writing apps you have to use today. Go old-school with OpenOffice? Google Docs it? What about Evernote- it is very nice to be able to tag my drafts and that is the only reason why I have it. Or maybe Day One.. I mean, it’s really the best for distraction-free writing. Or should I just write directly into my WordPress?
  9. Start writing in WordPress.
  10. Have moment of panic about accidentally hitting ‘Publish’ on a draft that at this stage is just a bunch of topics and a lot of punctuation. Decide to use Evernote instead, just in case you want to work on it on a different gadget.
  11. Open up Evernote. Evernote informs you that it has updates and would you like to restart and install them? Of course. Of course I will.
  12. Make more tea.
  13. Do some “research” on Facebook on the topic you’re writing about. Open up your notifications in another tab, just to spend two minutes checking them.
  14. Realise tea is cold. Gulp it down anyway.
  15. Make more tea.
  16. Write a paragraph or two.
  17. Feel a bit hungry. Go to the kitchen to make a snack.
  18. Not wanting to forget to eat properly, snack turns into something more filling.
    Missing a vital ingredient for the meal, pop to the shop to pick some up.
    Accidentally go to Lidl and leave with a new lawnmower, a snorkelling set, furniture paint and stencils, an electric pepper grinder and a new pair of slippers as well as the head of broccoli you went out for.
  19. Make the big pot of broccoli soup with home-baked bread- just the thing to eat and snack on while you write!

  20. Return to laptop. Write maybe a paragraph or so.
  21. Make more tea. Have some soup.
  22. See that ‘notifications’ tab flashing. Might as well check it while having the soup, right?
  23. Lose an hour. Maybe several.
  24. Forget you’re supposed to be writing, catch up on an episode of whatever you’re watching.
  25. Remember that you’re writing today. Make some tea.
  26. Decide that this is it, you’re not going to let yourself be distracted anymore. Look up distraction-blocking apps. Research the best ones. Read reviews. Eventually decide on one that you like. Install it.
  27. Immediately dislike a particular feature of that app, go back to your research.
  28. Install another one. Decide this one is okay.
  29. Block all distracting websites.
  30. Hear phone beeping. Check distracting websites on phone.
  31. Realise what you’re doing. Put the phone in the next room.
  32. Hear tablet beeping. Check distracting websites on tablet.
  33. Realise what you’re doing. Put the tablet in the next room.
  34. Spend 15 minutes writing.
  35. The house is far too quiet. Fire up some nice relaxing instrumental music to help you concentrate.
  36. Decide it’s time for a quick 5-minute Loud Music Dance Party break.
  37. The only thing left that can connect to your Music App Of Choice is the tablet. Those speakers definitely aren’t up to scratch.

    empty coffee cups  photo
    These people managed to write entire books. ENTIRE BOOKS!

  38. Go back upstairs to find your favourite headphones. The bluetooth ones.
  39. Find headphones, fire up most embarrassingly cheesy Spotify playlist.
  40. Attempt to enlist dog in Cheesy Loud Music Dance Party.
  41. Dog is initially up for dancing about.
  42. Dog becomes skeptical that this is a good idea.
  43. Dog extricates himself from Cheesy Loud Music Dance Party, goes back to bed.
  44. Feel a bit like maybe you’re taking the Cheesy Loud Music Dance Party too far.
  45. Remember that this is an essential part of your writing process. Decide you’ll get back to sitting down after a few songs.
  46. Really hope that nobody comes in the door while you have these headphones on.
  47. Repeat steps 45 and 46 a few times. Try step 41 again. Dog not interested, gives you worried stare.
  48. Decide dog is No Fun, repeat 45 and 46 again.
  49. Decide it’s time to get some writing done. Make another cup of tea.
  50. Sit down. Write some things.
  51. After a while, really get into the flow of writing. Have a ton of ideas. Take a ton of notes.
  52. Realise that you have to leave the house like ten minutes ago for a thing you need to do.
  53. Next day: repeat.

 


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Photo by ronocdh

 

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Frivolous Friday: The Writing Process
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10 thoughts on “Frivolous Friday: The Writing Process

  1. 2

    This seems an awful lot like my “I’m going to start writing the code for that new feature” process. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you probably hacked my blog and lifted one of my drafts; but I don’t have a blog so the only reasonable explanation is that you are in fact a wizard skilled at legilimency.

    (It’s been a long week and my brain might be a wee bit addled)

    1. 3.1

      I come from many generations of tea-chugging women. We have a remarkable ability to put the stuff away.

      Also, frequent trips to the bathroom are ALSO an essential part of the creative process, don’t ya know? 😎

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