Help My Family Become Whole

Hello readers, Sunflower Punk here.

In the past I’ve written about my life with domestic violence and life after that. I have not updated in a while due to life and disability being JUST THE WORST.

But in the past 6 months things have gotten so much better! I moved! Yup, I left NYC for the South and I gotta say I kinda love it here. I’m much happier and less stressed. 

I also got married. It’ll be 6 months soon. My wife is amazing. She’s just everything I could ever hope for and more. As an Atheist this is silly, but I call her my miracle. Cheesy but true. Before her I didn’t think love like this could exist. Kind, patient, loving, SAFE.

But it is possible. And I’m so grateful. TJ is thriving and doing better than they had in a while.

The reason I’m writing this is to ask for your help. My wife would love to adopt TJ. TJ would love for my wife to be their new second parent.

As I’ve mentioned, I’m disabled and I worry that one day I will not be able to properly take care of TJ. My wife helps with all that she can but when she’s taken TJ to appointments because I was ill, they called me to verify that my wife could make decisions on my behalf. If something were to happen to me, legally my wife wouldn’t have any rights. I fear TJ would end up in the system or with their biological father.

I have written about Jekyll before (see links above) so I won’t rehash it. While he is willing to sign the paperwork necessary for this process to continue he is insisting we do it all through court. He could just go get some papers signed in front of a notary but I guess he just doesn’t trust it.

So here we are. I’m asking for your help in covering attorney and adoption fees. All the relevant information is in this link to the Gofundme.

If you are able to help financially, please do. If you are not, sharing the fundraiser helps a lot too.

Thank you for your time and for reading my posts. I hope that now that I’m in a better place (in every sense of the phrase) I can come back to writing more regularly for Mandesty and general social justice posts.

Much love and peace to y’all. Stay safe out there.

Sunflower Punk aka Alex R.

Ohana means family. And family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.

Help My Family Become Whole
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EMERGENCY HELP NEEDED

A good friend of mine has family in Puerto Rico, specifically a brother and her grandmother. For days now she has been trying to get in contact with them to find out if they made it through the terrible hurricane that hit them just recently. For over a week she hasn’t been able to reach them, but finally she managed to get through.

Her family survived the hurricane, but her grandmother was injured in a fall. She broke her hip. Usually such news isn’t terrifying. The surgery needed to fix it is pretty routine HOWEVER because of the hurricane, the surrounding area has no power, intermittent running water, and many areas are running out of food. The hospital doesn’t have enough power in the generator to complete the surgery and they are trying desperately to have her moved to a larger metropolitan hospital a few hours away.

My friend HAS to get to Puerto Rico. Her brother cannot handle everything on his own, especially because of the devastation from the hurricane, while also trying to help with arranging the transfer of their grandmother from one hospital to another while so many emergency resources are currently otherwise occupied.

Areas that are not known tourist destinations are also struggling quite severely and not receiving the same attention as San Juan.  Many people are running out of food with little to no ability to purchase more either due to poverty or just it being unavailable. Any help being sent will go specifically to helping send this friend to Puerto Rico and supplying people in the area with what they need to survive.

PLEASE! If you cannot donate, share this fundraiser directly from the site as far and wide as you can. Please help make sure that the hurricane doesn’t do more damage than it already has.

EMERGENCY HELP NEEDED

Colorado Adventures

For the last month, my friends and I have been trying to rally support for a friend of ours that due to unfortunate circumstances, was left temporarily homeless. In that time we had been working hard to help her find a place to live, preferably somewhere where we could keep her child in the same school.

It can be hard going for single moms who make their money on the internet to find a place to live. Especially in an area that prides itself on being a good school district. Our attempts were met with ridiculous compromises, like having to raise a full year’s rent up front. Or prove that you make three times the rent in an area that charges nearly 15 hundred dollars a month.

If you don’t have a car, the search becomes even more difficult as you have to factor in bus times that it takes to get from one place to the next, and getting home in time for the school bus.

The situation was further complicated however, when in the midst of running errands, her wallet disappeared along with her ID.  It was too much, and suddenly a difficult situation seemed impossible. Unwilling to see my friend and her son struggle more than they already had, and empowered by help from both my friends and our mutual friends, I undertook a sudden trip to Colorado. With my car and ID, I could help her get set up.

Essentially at 3 pm on a Monday I decided to drive down from Ottawa, to Colorado, and by 6pm that evening I was on the road. All spread out, the drive took three days, through Michigan, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Nebraska, before reaching Colorado and the Rocky Mountains. All told it came out to about three days of driving, with a stop for each night.

What do you do when you are alone on the road for three days? In my case, I spent a lot of time listening and singing along to music, doing math in my head to figure out how far I am from a location based on my speed using fractions, and thinking about how to develop my blog.

The drive down was a bit frantic, what with this being my first time in this area of the US, not having a lot of money, and trying to race the clock to get to Colorado before my friend’s hotel reservation ran out. Not having access to my meds, meant that I was eating almost nothing thanks to nausea.

The drive was mostly uneventful and I made it to Colorado, where I proceeded to spend the next several days running errands with my friend while her son was at school. We went to the DMV, looked at several different apartments, and more.

No matter how hard you try, there are not many ways to avoid spending money when you don’t have a place of your own. Unless you can afford to stay in a hotel with a suite, most of them don’t have facilities to cook. You are stuck relying on restaurants, though in some cases you might have access to a microwave. Even at weekly rates, the cost of the room is high, putting an added burden on finances stretched to their limit. It adds up, and by the end of that time, both my friend and I were completely out of money, and at least in my case, a little overdrawn as well.

I finally got enough money to start heading back home yesterday. I made it to Council Bluffs, Iowa, where I stopped for the night. It wasn’t until I set up my computer and decided to get some dinner, when I realized that my wallet was gone.

Imagine that: You are in a foreign country and all of your money and bank cards just disappear. You can’t replace your cards easily, it can take weeks to send them to you. In the meantime, you have no way to buy food, and you certainly can’t afford to stay in a hotel that long. In that one moment, I felt for a second just a hint of what my friend must have been feeling for the past month. I spent the night with my Crohn’s punishing me for the stress I was under. I got almost no sleep, and spent more time in the bathroom than in the bed. Even when in bed, I couldn’t sleep, unable to feel warm no matter what I did.

In the wee hours of the morning, I came up with a temporary plan. I would see about extending my stay a day, hoping they had my information on file enough not to require my card, then find a bank. With luck, they would make it possible for someone to wire me some money to get me home.

I was saved when morning came, someone had handed in my wallet to the front desk. A sleepless night however makes me a hazard on the road, and so I am delayed another day.

In the meantime however, my good friend was banned from Facebook for complaining about men after her experience, something which puts her new found stability at risk. If you can, please consider donating to her GoFundMe.

 

Colorado Adventures