Magical Maladies

“Oh hello, you must be Dr. Fey. Welcome, Welcome.

As you know, this is the hospital for magic related maladies. The place to go when curses and blessings go awry. Over the last few years we’ve gotten busier. Used to be that you had to study diligently for years to be a sorceress or a wizard, but these days any angry girl with a black dress gets to call herself a witch, and don’t even get me started on what passes for a magician.

Anyway, as you can see we’ve recently expanded the dermatology wing. Mostly frog princes dealing with left over warts, princesses with pimples, but we also get the occasional knight with dragon burns.

Over there are the dwarves that help with some of the specialized equipment. You can see that one over there working on a pair of glasses for a near-sighted dragon. Poor dear keeps flying into mountains and breaking them.

Oh here’s Princess Gerda, how are you doing dear?

She doesn’t talk much. A kind fairy blessed her as a baby to have flowers fall from her lips when she speaks, but it turns out she’s badly allergic to pollen. She comes in once a month for regular allergy shots. One of her appointments got postponed and when she came in she was sneezing up a storm. Every time she did more flowers would pop out and set her off all over again. Her eyes were swollen shut, and her nose was cherry red. Later I found the loveliest little bouquet of forget-me-nots.

Anyway, down this hall we have the Critical Care unit. This is where we keep the princesses with sleeping curses after one too many ended up badly dehydrated when their evil stepmothers forgot to add the part about not needing any food or water to the spell. This way we can monitor them while they wait for their prince. Some of the wealthier rescuers will opt for the tower package. They let us know they’re on their way and we arrange the receiving princess in a beautiful room filled with flowers and candles, displayed on an altar in a beam of sunlight, you know the whole fairy tale allure.

We added surveillance cameras after Sleeping Beauty ended up with 12 sons and no memory of how she got them. She hired the Goblin law firm and now she owns the prince’s kingdom and he has to spend the next 100 years as a mule. Last I heard she and Snow White were causing quite the scandal by moving in together after Snow dumped Prince Charming. Rumour has it she woke up in a tub of ice and that’s why she left him. Anyway, scandalous or not, I think Beauty and Snow make a lovely couple.

Here’s our maternity wing with deluxe suites. All witches with custody claims are now asked to let the hospital know in advance of the birth, but sometimes you get last minute deals. We try to keep all the babies here for at least the first 3 days, that’s about usually when any curses show up and we can deal with them before the parents head home.

And here’s surgery where you will be working. We only have one surgery scheduled at the moment, a routine Lupine-Puerectomy with Dr. Jack Lumber, so you have a chance to get settled and comfortable. The nurses will be able to show you where the office is. Just be sure to check in with the Gnomes at HR to get your parking pass. We ask that you provide any magical steeds or creatures with your own feed. “

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Magical Maladies
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