It’s been a bit of a rough month. For those following along at home, I went to New York at the end of July to help a friend who was dealing with criminal levels of negligence from her doctors and therapists, which was interfering with her ability to put her life back together. Returning back home, I had a plan for August, to make back some of the money we had lost to the trip by working on promoting my book and art, and looking into additional income streams.
Coming home, I got to work doing just that, only to be met with several unexpected expenses: a flat tire, an unexpected credit card fee that led to a whole bunch of additional charges, and so forth and so forth. At the beginning of summer, I had been hoping to use some of our money to be able to can some of the local produce we get here in Ottawa. Help us eat healthier and more local over the upcoming winter. Instead, we ended up in a situation where we couldn’t really do groceries and so are working off the store of food that we do our best to stockpile when we can.
The goal to improve our situation turned into treading water and working desperately just to stay afloat. Right before our situation suddenly took a nosedive, I had managed to book a table for selling at QueerCon, an event being held here in Ottawa. My father had also given me a loan to be able to get some things off of my new Redbubble store, so I could have some lower cost items on the table. (The items managed not to show up until AFTER the even was over. Just one day late, but just late enough). I hoped that maybe I could sell just enough copies of my book, just enough posters, maybe even a large painting, I could make enough to pull us out of this hole. I did ok. Enough to take most of the stress off, especially in addition to some crowdfunding I did.
I was so nervous about queercon, I would stay up nights trying to think of ideas of things to make. This led to some sleepless nights, and a very tired Ania coming up with the idea of painting the Right Honourable Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, shirtless, as a Faun. Mainly because the thought made me laugh so hard I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep until I did it. I also painted an adorable Bulbasaur painting that I put up on Redbubble but the Pokemon company made me take it down.
I also signed up for skillshare, figuring that maybe teaching people my fun recipes and my way of painting, could help bring in that extra income we’ve been missing since Alyssa’s graduation. I even dragged Alyssa onto skillshare, figuring that maybe one of us would find some success on the site. (There are some free enrollments left in my class and in Alyssa’s class, but not many.)
Struggling and worrying about money of course has a predictable effect on my health. I’ve been dealing with overwhelming exhaustion, making trying to work that much harder. I’ve been napping more than our cats. Some nights I stay up late, others even my usual nighttime alertness seems to escape me. It’s lucky I’m still on some prednisone, or I don’t know how much worse I would be.
Later today, I’m going to the Market and trying to sell more copies of my book. I’m sad I had to give up on my food goals for the summer. Have those preserves would have been amazing. It would have meant money saved over the winter. Healthier food for me, so less digestive trouble. Still, maybe I will be lucky and my books will sell well, someone will buy a big painting, a bunch of people sign up to be our patron on Patreon, my skillshare class will be immensely popular, or I don’t know… I’ll win some grand prize that will give us a few month of not having to worry about things so that both Alyssa and I can relax enough to get better and start writing again.