Abortions For “Funsies!”

(This is part of a FB and Twitter post that I am expanding on.  Trigger Warning for fetal picture and frank discussion of medical squick below)


You won’t believe this, but, I have a lot of respect for certain pro-lifers.  The ones that would not chose an abortion for themselves or suggest not doing it if asked, but will not get in the way (physically, legally, or otherwise) of anyone who wants and/or needs one. They don’t pass around links chock full of gory pictures of ripped up fetuses, and they sure as shit don’t show up to bully patients outside of clinics. They do themselves, and let others do..um…themselves.

I respect that. Honestly.

On the other hand, I have NOOOO respect for so-called “pro-choicers” too chickenshit to say what they are, lest someone ‘think’ they support abortions in situations that DO. NOT. FUCKING. HAPPEN. (i.e. for “funsies!”) or who have some-odd conditionals a person has to meet in order for them to be OK with it.

Because if you had the first fucking clue what is involved in any abortion procedure, that idea would hopefully die a quick painful death. Now, I have proposed a talk for the upcoming FTBCon 3 in which I go through the three most common procedures in the hopes of educating folks who want to know exactly what a person goes through.  Hopefully, hearing about the pain, the discomfort, the awkward positioning, will be enough to finally squash the fear of the supposed spree abortionist!

You know, the ones who treat it like birth control*, those who get it done for FUNSIES? Those harlots who sneak into the “pro-choice” tent, who must be tolerated, but never accepted as One Of Us.  They make us look bad, and pro-lifers love to mention them first when they fight to strip away our rights!  They suck.

They are also, for the most part, imaginary.  I mean, think about for more than a second.  Abortions are expensive, and in most cases you have to cough up that dough up front.  A lot of clinics are closing, so the ones that are still open are miles and miles and hours and hours away, if you’re lucky enough to not live in or near a major city. You will have to take time off work.   A lot of laws limit how long you can go before you can’t have an abortion done, and a lot of laws demand that you take a day or so to “think” about it between appointments.  Some laws force you to look at an ultrasound, whether you want to or not.  Some laws force doctors to rattle off long debunked claims about abortion, whether you want to listen or not.  And that’s just GETTING in the doctor’s office.

You show up for the actual procedure, probably hungry (you can’t eat that day until the procedure is done), probably cranky, probably mourning.  In a lot of places, you have to walk past a gauntlet of bullshit.  Merry bands of morons, waving signs, yelling at you, calling you “Mommy”, calling you a murderer, begging you to stop so they can ‘counsel’ you, shoving brochures of complete crap at you.

According to the back of this brochure, this is an 11 week old fetus.
According to the back of this brochure, this is an 11 week old fetus.


You get inside, and you wait.  Nearly all day.  In a waiting room with other people who are in the same spot as you.  And that’s not even counting the “put your legs up in the stirrups, let’s numb and dilate your cervix in ways that you will absolutely feel. For those without the requisite parts, just imagine having your urethra dilated, with one of these:

Source: Wikimedia
Source: Wikimedia

Did your legs just slam shut?  Then welcome to the party!

Oh, and I forgot, afterwards, you might have what has got to be the heaviest period of your possible life.  And if you think taking the pills are a neat way to skip all that, heh, you are aware the contents of the uterus has to go somewhere, right?

Doesn’t that sound like fun? Sign me the fuck up!

Now, just think about for a moment.  Who the fuck would sign up for this…unless they had a DAMNED good reason?

Also, when we, as pro-choicers, entertain that little “..for the lolz” myth, we are repeating the same nonsense the other side does as if such a thing actually exists. And we should stop that shit immediately.  We can’t call ourselves for the right to abortion, if we’re going to separate some into “good reasons” and “bad reasons”.  That’s what the other side does when they are kind enough to offer such “generous’ compromises like the “rape, incest and health of the pregnant person” exemptions, because it’s damned hard to run on the backs of rape victims, incest victims and dead people.  Not that the more far off types don’t try.

There are three reasons we should be acknowledging for any and all abortion procedures:

  1. The person doesn’t want to be pregnant. That covers a lot of ground.  Lack of support, done with having kids, not wanting kids at all, was raped or a victim of incest, they all boil down to “I don’t want to be pregnant.”
  2. The pregnancy is wanted, but will harm/kill the person carrying it. Only the most special of the pro-lifers find any problem with that.
  3. The pregnancy is wanted, but no longer viable. Tragic. And yet, the special pro-lifers don’t seem to care, from what I’ve seen on the sidewalk.

We can force both sides to deal with this reality.  We especially need to step in and make sure those who say they are our allies realize this as well. A lot of people need to reexamine what they mean when they say they are “pro-choice”.  Adding exceptions, or a “but..” isn’t pro-choice. Right now, the right for a safe, legal abortion is under attack, and the other side so far is gaining ground.  We need our side to remember what we are fighting for, and to stop wasting our time and breath acknowledging silly hypotheticals like “what if the person’s going in for her seventh abortion and she’s just doing it for fun or something?”.

In the words of my favorite meme:

Preach it, sister!
Preach it, sister!





*Yes, everyone has a story of some friend’s cousin’s sibling twice removed who used abortion as birth control.  They never seem to know anything more about the person though. I can’t find the link, but there was a tumblr post from a woman who, because of her various reactions to various BC methods, chose with her partner to, I think, use fertility awareness, and had a couple of abortions done.  I think we can be grown-up enough to realize there are always exceptions to the “abortion as BC” line, and those reasons are usually more than just “too lazy/poor/stupid/whatever to put on a condom” or whatever.

Abortions For “Funsies!”

Why Abortion Videos Are So Important

“They’ll rape you on the table!”

“You’ll die!”

“They’ll rip your baby apart!”

“Have you seen Silent Scream?”

“You don’t know what happens in there!”


“You don’t know what happens in there!”


And who’s fault is that?

Look, I’m gonna propose something pretty fucking radical today, so strap in.

Abortion procedures ought to be part of comprehensive sex-ed.  In schools. Why?  Because protesters and anti-abortion activists thrive on our collective ignorance. Think about it.  Could you, right now, without Google, explain a 1st trimester clinical abortion?

Go on, I’ll wait (no cheating, clinic workers!)

How about a medication abortion?

Fess up, for a second, you probably conjured up a brief image of what I’ve been calling “fetal snuff porn”, the graphic pictures protesters love to smear all over the damn place.  I know, before I educated myself (as an activist AND as an Abortion Doula to be), I sure did.

This is why we need people telling their stories, their videos, showing up close and personal what actually happens. And I think we should have this knowledge right along with “this is how to make a baby” and “this is how to prevent making a baby” – because it counts as “prevention”.  Arming our young people and ourselves with facts is one of the ways we’re going to defeat the current attacks on reproductive justice. Let’s support these brave folks who have put their peace of mind on the line (because holy crap have Emily Letts received attacks and self-righteous condemnation from pro-lifers AND mealy mouthed pro-choicers*) in order to give us facts.  Let us embrace every story that comes forth.

Embrace this knowledge.


*Oh yeah, if your ‘pro-choice’ has conditions as to when it’s “okay” to have an abortion, AND you try to shame someone who doesn’t meet those conditions, YOU ARE NOT VERY ‘PRO-CHOICE’.

Why Abortion Videos Are So Important

Femi’s Rules for Protesters (based on today’s tweets)

So our merry band of morons have been more pushy considering the property line they are not supposed to cross.  Because Screw the Rules, I have Jesus.

“Good morning.  That is the first and last time you will hear that from me, so savor it.  Here we go:

Rule one: If you are an adult, I don’t like you.  I don’t care if you say that you “love me”; that’s creepy and you don’t know me.  I don’t care if your God loves me.  As a matter of fact, if you feel the need to tell me that, like you have the express line to God, I don’t like you even more.

Rule one point one: If you’re a kid and you’re here, I feel sorry for you.  There are better ways to spend a Saturday morning than being dragged to a clinic to wander with signs near pictures of medical waste.  Like the park near the clinic.

Rule two: Become familiar with the property line.  Tell your newbies.  Ignorance is no longer an excuse.  I WILL call the cops on your ass.

Rule three: We don’t have to talk to you.  For any reason.

Rule four: We can talk to anyone we want.  Deal.

Rule five: Don’t fucking LIE to us.  If you’re a protester, we’ll figure it the fuck out. We talk to each other.  We talk to our security guy.  The fucking ninth commandment?  Your rules. Not mine.

Rule Six: You are creepy, young or old.  If you bothered to think about it for five seconds, you would get that.  Complete strangers don’t owe you information about their bodies or medical condition.  Not that you would care.  I heard a woman was on the floor bawling after you dismissed her telling you her fetus’ lungs weren’t working.  You are shit.  Actually, let me make that a rule:

Rule Seven: You are shit.  The very thing you are doing is shitty and you are shit.  This is why you get the disdain you whine about.  But hey, that’s what gets you people going, I know.  You don’t give a fuck about babies, you just wanna get decent people pissed off so you can go home and wank (figuratively and/or literally) about how persecuted you are. We know your game.

Femi’s Rules for Protesters (based on today’s tweets)

I don’t want to do this anymore

…waking up at fuck you o’clock on a Saturday morning.

…making sure I have money for a parking meter and/or a coffee before I can even leave the house

…driving (for any reason)

…leaning on my cane for two to four to five hours at a time, using up my precious spoons (some days I return and go straight to bed for hours)

…listen to some brain spurting bullshit from pro-lifers who seem to throw any shit at patients in the hope that it will stick, and behave in ways that a normal person would consider rude, invasive and shitty (but to them are perfectly justified), and NOT BE ABLE TO CHALLENGE THEM BACK.


I would love to not have to do any of this week after week after week.  I would love for no escorts to have to bust their asses and risk their bodies and minds dealing with sometimes large hordes of protestors and fake-ass “counselors”. Hell, I would love to get into a big ol’ screaming match with these twits once in a while.


But I can’t.  Because as long as they are out there, spreading lies and guilt like so much rancid garbage, as long as patients need a calm, smiling and respectful presence helping them inside the clinics, I and my fellow volunteer escorts will be there.


Oh, also, #FuckOperationRescue and similar organizations for making my job necessary.


I don’t want to do this anymore

Linky Roundup

(AKA: Femi just finished a first draft! Yay!)

Yeah, we get it movie reviewers, the Black Widow is a sexy lady in sexy outfits. Now what about her character?

Benevolent sexism?  Still sexism!

The ever-awesome Zinnia Jones continues to call out assimilationist transmisogyny with facts, truth, and interesting censor icons.

The Ferret challenges the concept of “Nobody can make you feel bad without your permission” and why it’s complete horseshit.

Since my clinic didn’t have Saturday hours this week, here’s Katie_Speak ‘s Dispatches from the Sidewalk

I couldn’t decide between two links from the newly renamed “We Hunted the Mammoth” (formerly ManBoobz), so here’s both: How not to hit on a girl part 50-11th and how one victim of harassment is being better than her harassers 


Have a great day, you guys.  I might go back to bed!

Linky Roundup

Linky Roundup

(AKA: Femi’s too busy to write up a thing today)


Wonkette reports of a tale of a man who (allegedly!) covered some of his lady parishoners with the love of Jesus.  In the form of come.

ThinkProgress reports on a lady who thinks the only thing keep other ladyfolk from finding a good hubby to care for them is too much cash in our lady paychecks.

RH Reality Check exposes the ever-so offensive to thinking people “Abolish Human Abortion” group.

Greta Christina has a new book out!  I must get the audio, because I love her voice!

I’m trying out this recipe for roasted broccoli tonight because it’s hilarious!

Linky Roundup