Needle to the Dick = No Babies

Good news, everyone!

You just read that with Prof. Farnsworth’s voice!

Also, the experimental birth control injection for penises, Vasalgel, has passed the rabbit test. That means, hopefully, they’ll move up the mammal chain and start testing it on humans soonish (or as soon as they figure out how to remove it).

I hope.

You know why I hope?

Because I want to see cis men (who aren’t needlephobic in general) TRY to complain about having to get a shot to the cock. I really do.  I want to see them complain to anyone who is currently on invasive birth control.  I say invasive, because taking a pill or slipping in a Nuva Ring or applying a patch is a different level of uncomfortable.

Especially if you get a bad reaction to any of them.

I’m talking IUDs and Depo and the ones that gets implanted in your arm and so on. Try dudes, TRY to complain about one shot to the dick. We who are already on this shit can tell you stories.  I can tell you how my legs went tingly and then numb when the IUD was shoved into my cervix. I looked at the ceiling and was like, “I can’t believe people do the opposite all the damn time. In is painful, out must be torture.”

(For the record, IUD removal isn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be.  I had to get mine taken out because it was trying to take a sightseeing tour of my uterus. FUN!)

But seriously, if everyone on birth control right now had to go through some serious pain and/or discomfort and/or side effects to keep from getting preggers, you can handle a needle in the dick.  Trust.

Now let’s hope removal is possible so this show can finally get on the road.

Needle to the Dick = No Babies
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Ask The Patient

It’s frickin early in the morning as I write this and I have to decide if the cold weather (ah, Minnesota in the springtime) is too cold for escorting this morning. #livinglavidachronicpain

I’ve been sitting on this here link for days now, because it needs to be shared.  The awesome folks at the much beleaguered EMW Women’s Surgical Center in Louisville, KY (follow them on Twitter to see just how much fuckshit they have to deal with EVERY DAY the clinic is open) have been giving out anonymous questionnaires to patients asking about what they go through to get into the clinic.

The results are fucking terrifying. These patients have had to contend with motherfuckers pushing against their car doors, shoving fetal snuff porn into their faces, being pushed, being physically blocked (hello there, violation of the FACE act), screamed at, and video taped. They reported feeling scared, threatened, HARASSED.

Now, EMW is collecting this info to use to try and get some sort of buffer zone in front of their clinic – not a big one, even 8 feet would do. And I support them in that struggle.  I’m glad they’ve been collecting this info, because it gives me some actual numbers for this following rant:

Dear Former Chief Justice Antonin Scalia,

If only you were alive so you could see these numbers and watch the videos that the antis proudly post on YouTube. If only you could see that this protesters aren’t sweet old grannies just trying to peacefully offer pamphlets of lies.  Hell the “grannies” sometimes are the most viscous and persistent people I’ve personally seen.

Then again, you probably wouldn’t have paid attention anyway. You sure didn’t when you were sitting in that seat in the Supreme Court.

May you continue to rot into pieces.

 

To everyone else alive enough to read these words,

THIS IS A THING THAT IS HAPPENING. Right now. Today. In the year of our Calendar 2016. Escorts battle with these antis, the patients battle with these antis, all in the name of some fucked up twisted interpretation of “freedom of speech”. This “freedom of speech” turns into harassment when someone says “No” and an anti continues anyway. You’d think it would be obvious.

But the patient can’t report them to the police. Not right then and there. And we can’t call the police on their behalf. Fuck, when we call the police for shit like crossing the property line/buffer zone/blocking the way, we mostly get nothing.  NOTHING. They are useless.

We can’t fix this all by ourselves.

What can you do? If you have the time and spoons, why not call your local women’s clinic and see if they have escorts.  Join us. If you don’t have those, then we need stronger harassment laws or to push our lawmakers to push the police to take these calls seriously while not forcing the patient to miss their appointment. There are violations of the FACE act and outright harassment that they can see, again, on YouTube. They call it “sidewalk counseling”, we should be calling it “evidence”.

This isn’t a free speech issue and it never was. This is (SPARTA!!) harassment. It needs to stop. It needs to be made clear that when you keep bugging someone after they’ve said “no”, you are committing a crime.

It needs to stop. Help us.

Ask The Patient

*raptor screams*

Rewire shares a story that has just made me see red way too early this fucking morning: Anti-Choice Activists, Using Bogus Legal Threats, Trick Teens Into Signing Away Abortion Rights.

Did you read it? Did it piss you off? GOOD!  Now let me piss you off even more with a little secret!

Anti-choicers enjoy skirting and/or outright breaking the law in the name of “saving da behbehs”.

From crossing property lines to harassing patients (and anyone who isn’t walking by fast enough) to harassing doctors at their own homes, to running fake clinics, to this intimidation shit, they behave as if they are somehow above the laws of man.

And you know the real shitter about this? Most of the time, they get the fuck away with it.  The police don’t want to help and it’s damn difficult to get local lawmakers to give a shit because these jackwagons with throw a tantrum faster than a toddler in the candy aisle. Oh noes, their free speeches is violated!

It gets even worse (well, of course it gets worse. These motherfuckers whip people up into blowing up or shooting people at clinics. This isn’t that level of “worse”). Are you considering an abortion and share that info with someone you trust, a friend or your church leader or a teacher in that story above? You may end up fodder from some group’s attempts to saaaave you.  That trusted person may hand out your personal information to complete strangers (to you) to call you and/or email you and/or come visit you and/or call you by name in front of the clinic to “encourage” you to keep your baby.

Normally, one might call that stalking or at least, pretty fucking creepy.  Normally.  But in upside-down fucked up “pro-life” land, it’s perfectly kosher.

What wouldn’t I give to be THAT entitled and get the fuck away with it.

*raptor screams*

What a Twist!

Soooo, Texas joined the line of states who, spurred on by the incredulous claims of those Center for Medical Progress edited bullshit-fest videos, were investigating Planned Parenthood.

Now every other state that has done this has found PP to be innocent of the crime of selling baby parts through the black market or for profit or for Satanic ritual or whatever. All of them.  It’s like requiring everyone on welfare to take drug tests: a complete waste of time and taxpayer resources.  Usually spurned on by the same people in the party that is supposed to be all about saving tax payers money.  Irony!

Sooo, Texas did this investigation, and as everyone with enough sense to smell bullshit when it’s on film predicted, found no wrongdoing by PP.

But wait!  It gets better!

In a twist that would make M. Night Shyamalan come in his pants, the grand jury indicted two of the CMP jackasses instead for tampering with governmental records.

My schaden is so freude right now, and I realized I don’t have a whole lot of celebratory or mockingly happy gifs, so I added these to my collection:

Enjoy!

 

What a Twist!

On the Front Lines

By now everyone’s heard of the rat bastard who held hostages and killed and injured people at a CO Planned Parenthood.  It’s…how do you even start to process that?

It happened last Friday, and I was reloading the local news page over and over, took a nap and went right back to it.  I needed to know when or if they would apprehend this fucker.  And of course they did, alive because white, even though he killed one of their own, but that’s a different rant.

The next day, I went to escort after a long break (I was sick, then Turkey Day, and oh, my father’s been contacting me after like over a decade of silence from me.  Shit’s been stressful as fuck, kay?).  One of the clinic staff checked in with each of us as we suited up, just telling us to be careful, to be aware, and thanking us for showing up even after the day before happened.

20151128_085838
Me last Saturday, failing at proper prep for the cold weather.

 

Now escorting has always been serious business to me, even as I joke and make fun of the merry band of fools.  Each patient is important to me, and getting them into the building with as little harassment as possible is my JOB.  Serious business, folks.

I always known that clinic violence was a risk, but Friday really made it hit home.  Let’s be real, we’re practically screaming “Shoot us first” in our bright yellow vests, standing outside.  To these people, this ignorant jackasses, we’re the handmaidens of Satan – yes even the guys – escorting poor innocent ‘mothers’ into Hell. To someone entitled* enough to think that taking matters into their own hands will do a damned thing, we’re sitting targets.

And on the real, that’s pants-shittingly terrifying. Having to swallow that shit and show up was emotionally draining.  I had so many excuses – allergies, frost on the car windows, now I’m tired from scraping all that damn frost off the windows, now the windows need defrosting because I still can’t see, do I really want to do this?  We’re in Minnesota, the protesters are more annoying than scary.  But it doesn’t have to be a regular, it only needs to be one person.  Can I really do this?

I can do this.

I will do this.

I NEED to do this.

Of course, the accusations of ‘mentally ill loner’ are being thrown about because white and that’s another rant.  Let’s get one thing straight – even if he has a diagnosis of a mental illness, doesn’t matter.  It’s the entitlement that is the issue.  Shit, I’m crazy.  My grasp on reality sometimes isn’t all there.  Some days I’m filled with so much self loathing that I stay in bed.  Other days, anxiety fills me with so much dread that I don’t leave the house for days. Also, I know which end of a gun to point when I want something destroyed, and I’m a slightly less than shitty shot.

But the thought of going up to another human and blowing a hole in them makes me sick.  I could never do it.  Many of us with mental illnesses couldn’t do it either.  Fuck, we’re most likely to BE victims of violence, so please keep that in mind as the same bullshit rhetoric we always hear when a white guy gets murdery is being trotted out.

Please keep the three victims of this shooting and all of the injured in mind.

Please keep the clinics that have suffered violence in mind.

Please keep the fact that the faction that keeps fueling this fire has the nerve to continue to call themselves “pro-life” in mind.

Please keep the security measures clinics and doctors have to go through just to do their jobs in mind.

This shit isn’t easy.  It weighs on my mind every Saturday.

 

*I’m calling it entitlement because, well it is.  It takes a nerve of steel to think that YOU, yes, YOU, you special snowflake you, will be the savior of babies for a day or a week or forever by destroying other people’s lives and/or livelihoods with your gun or your bomb or your vandalism or your wee little hatchet. That is some entitled bullshit right there, especially when your actions will have no negative effect on the fact that ABORTIONS HAVE AND WILL ALWAYS HAPPEN, YOU FUCKING FUCKS! You ain’t stopping shit.  You’re just giving the less violent pro-lifer fodder to secretly wank over while they publicly denounce your fucked up actions.  Fuckers.

On the Front Lines

Dear Former Clinic Escort,

Blogmaster’s Note: This’ll be a long one, but worth it.  Also, if you come up with some some anti-choice argument BS, have your shit recent and accurate, or you WILL be shown the door.

Wow, when this piece of dreck popped up in a private FB group for escorts, it was universally panned.  I don’t tend to link to the sentient bullshit machine that is LifeSiteNews, but for this opportunity, I made an exception.  So I clicked and read this oh so special letter to us Clinic Escorts.

And the moment the page load, I’m assaulted by an autoplay pledge plea (I know I have Flashblock, so what the fuck?) of two twin douchebags who I’d never heard of, one of which introduces them as “I’m David Benham and this is my twin sister Jason.”

Mmm-mmm, that’s some tasty transphobic humor right there.

Anyway, they apparently lost some house-flipping show on HGTV because they opened their yaps and let the anti-gay, anti-choice out.  Insert commentary about how free speech is actually supposed to work here.

NothingofValue

Well, I was in a mood after pausing that crap video, so let’s get to the actual letter, shall we?

Dear Clinic Escort,

Hi there!

Today I saw you, with your bright orange vest emblazoned with ESCORT on the front and back. You refused to make eye contact with me.

Actually our vests (provided by the awesome folks at The Clinic Vest project) are eye melting yellow, but okay.  And as for ‘eye contact’? We become masters at the Thousand Yard Stare to ignore you and your repetitive and WRONG nonsense.  We’re escorts, not counterprotesters. You’re not owed an audience just because you think you have something important to say.  Not from strangers, not from patients, and certainly not from escorts.  Deal.

I saw your gritty determination as you grabbed arms with that young woman and whispered in her ear, “Ignore them,” you said, “Don’t look at them, they are here to intimidate you, to scare you. I’ll keep you safe, don’t worry.” You walked quickly, head up, steel in your eyes, never letting up your grip on her arm. Her head was down, following your lead, mutely keeping up with your fast trot to the abortionist.

We walk with patients who are terrified and angry at the horde of people who can’t take “no” for an answer, who surround cars and try to shove their crap into the windows. Congrats, you have accurately described our job (though we do tend to not touch the patients unless asked where I am because we believe in strange concepts like “respecting a person’s space”). Pity that will probably be the last accurate thing you will say in this entire ‘letter’.

You ushered her in through the doors and soon emerged, alone, smiling at us triumphantly, a glimmer of malice in your eye, a smirk of arrogance and joy at having bested us – another woman you saved from the anti-choice fanatics. You rejoin the other escorts, laughing and joking, until the next car pulls up, and your face resumes the mask of the militant soldier, ready to do battle for women’s reproductive rights.

Malice.  Militant soldiers. “Another woman saved…”

Oh god.  Hold up, I gotta stop laughing for a minute.  Making up your own interpretation of shit is something anti-choicers are really good at, I’ve noticed.  “Pro-life fanfiction”, I’ve heard it called. That’s not malice, it’s pride at helping patients enter with some dignity. We’re not “militant soldiers”, we’re volunteers done with your shit. They weren’t ‘saved’ from you.  They arrived at their appointments on time with as little harassment as possible. You’re turning it into some weird competition where there is none. But hey, whatever it takes to keep up that martyr complex. It’s just what Jesus would have done.  Or something.

As I watched you I wondered, have you ever been inside the clinic?

Nope.  They never let us inside the clinic.  They just hand out the vests and send us to work.

Oh wait, that’s complete bullshit.  Of course we’ve been inside the clinic.  The inside of the clinic where I escort looks like every other doctor’s office I’ve been in.  Clean, professional.  Only more purple. No charnel house look here.

Have you ever been in the waiting room, filled with the silence of trepidation and fear? Have you listened to the stifled tears?

A some escorts have either had abortions, or have been a companion to someone who has.  We even had a transgendered man volunteer who had one. I know you’re going for this “we don’t know what we do” angle, but we do.  We really do.

And trepidation and fear (and yes, tears) are natural reactions to a surgical procedure.  I felt that before my extensive dental surgery.  I did before my first endoscopy. Some people even feel it before giving birth. It’s natural.  Doesn’t make what’s about to happen wrong.

Have you ever been in the counseling room? This place, where instead of asking questions and listening, the worker masks the truth, or outright lies about the third life in the room, the life growing inside the woman’s womb?

I’m not a counselor, and we fill out patient privacy forms , so my answer will have to be no.  As for the information given, I think you may be confusing that with a CPC. From what people who have had abortions and actual counselors and doulas have shared (and the documentaries I’ve watched, After Tiller and 12th and Delaware), counselors, you know, counsel.  It’s their job to listen.  It’s their job to give ALL of the options.  And if a patient decides to only have an ultrasound, or changes their mind, it’s okay.  No one’s keeping patients trapped until they decide they way ‘we’ want, as CPCs are reported to do. That’s what choice means. Do you get it?

Probably not.

Have you seen her sad and scared eyes?

Yes. Badgering a patient outside of the clinic will do that.

Have you asked her why she is there?

I’m not a counselor, and neither are you. I swear, we get antis, who can’t take ‘no’ and ‘leave me alone’ for an answer, asking this question to complete strangers like they’re owed that answer. This might seem really strange to you, so I’ll put it bold so you get it: It’s none of our business. Not yours, not mine.  That is between the patient, the counselor, and the doctor. And maybe, if the patient is a believer, their relationship with a god.  Not yours.

That said, I have actually had patients, after we get them inside and away from your shit, volunteer that information.  And while you might deem all of these reasons not good enough for you, they are so damned no concern of mine.

I don’t give half a crap why a patient is there. It’s none of my business.

Do you know if she is being pressured or forced into this abortion, if she is safe at home…all the questions she won’t be asked inside the clinic? Does she know about all of the help available to her if she keeps the baby? Does she know how many couples would love to adopt her baby?

Wow.

Just, wow.

bitchyoutriedit

You do know that 9th Commandment is YOUR law to follow right?  The one about “not bearing false witness”?  That’s so much bearing of false witness I’m surprised your back isn’t broken from the strain. Counselors ASK these questions.  They provide help if the patients change their mind.  I’ve seen the brochures with my own eyes. And even if they change their mind, that’s not a victory for YOU, it’s a victory for the concept of CHOICE.

And seriously, adoption isn’t the opposite of abortion. This may shock you, but some people aren’t interested in continuing a pregnancy they don’t want. Fucking deal.

Yes, I know, I’m using filthy words now. That’s what I do when I’m pissed at disingenuous liars. And it’s only gonna get worse.

My dear Clinic Escort, have you been there for the ultrasound, where you can see the fully formed baby kicking its arms and legs? Have you heard the worker tell her it is just a bunch of cells? A blob? A product of conception?

You’re asking me if I’ve seen ultrasounds before?  Why yes.  From parents happily expecting, and from people who have decided on abortion.  The majority of abortions are performed in the first trimester – too tiny to have those kicking arm and legs.  And even if we’re talking second trimester, why does that matter? If someone doesn’t want to continue a pregnancy, they get to not continue a pregnancy.

Have you been with her, holding her hand as she screams in pain, ignored by a doctor who doesn’t even know her name?Have you heard the suction machine, watch as the blood, tissue, and body parts flow from her body into a cold jar? Have you heard the sound of the currette scraping her uterus? Have you seen the body parts – an arm, a leg, a piece of a rib cage, poured into a baggie as though it were scraps of meat?

Christ, are you getting off on this nonsense? While anesthetic affects people differently, they still get it. And yes, thanks to brave people who record and report their own procedures, we get to see how the shit works, sans your overdramatic overdescriptions.

Also, are you sure you’re still talking to us “dear Clinic Escorts”? We don’t go into the procedure rooms during procedures. We don’t go into the counselling rooms during counseling. And if we’re curious, we can ASK.  We can research.  I did an entire talk as a layman to other laymen about basic abortion procedures.  So, yeah, keep on with the drama, you can’t fool me.

Have you sat with her in the recovery room as she stares off into space, desperate to get away from this place so she never has to think of it again?

We’re not doulas or patient advocates, so no. But, since I’ve been trained as an abortion doula, by people who have been doing it for a while, I’m more willing to trust their word on the reactions in the recovery room.  Sometimes, there’s tears.  Sometimes, there’s vomiting, because anesthesia.  Most time, it’s relief.

Don’t believe me? Look up some positive abortion stories.  I’m Not Sorry has been running since 2004.

Have you been with her through the depression and the anxiety that plague her after the abortion? The breakup of her relationship? Have you helped her through her drug addiction, her binge drinking? Have you been there when she is unable to bond with her children? When her marriage falls apart? Will you be there when she attempts suicide? Will you be at her funeral when she succeeds?

LiaraFuckThis

I…I can’t even with this bullshit, but damnit, I’m gonna try.

Firstly, as someone who struggles with depression and the like, go fuck yourself.  It’s people like you who KEEP people with these issues from speaking up, unless they’re willing to join your guilt parade.  Yes, some people emotionally react poorly to having an abortion.  Most (and you can look that shit up yourself) don’t.

Secondly, go fuck yourself, because if this theoretical woman did all of these things, your sanctimonious ass wouldn’t be at that funeral either.

Thirdly, there are support for people going through issues after an abortion that don’t involve the guilt trip.  Backline and Exhale.  Look them up, and go fuck yourself.

Fourthly, and most importantly, GO FUCK YOURSELF.

Dear Clinic Escort, look into my eyes.

*flips both birds*

vtLap8s

They have seen things you could never imagine. Things that have made me scream in the middle of the night. Things that are never discussed in the intellectualized, feminist world of abortion rights.

Some escorts have had abortions. Some escorts have had abortions. Some escorts have had abortions. Some escorts have had abortions.

Because while you see a job well done when you usher her through those doors, her nightmare is just beginning.

Did I mention the going and fucking yourself?  Because you can go do that now.

But before you do, I asked a few fellow escorts to chime in on your bullshit.

Nick V:

WTF is this nonsense? I know our counsellors DO ask those questions. I know our clinic would never ‘encourage’ a women who was unsure to just go ahead and have an abortion. Heck we saved women from boyfriends that were trying to force them to have one. This is horseshit.

Rivka:

I don’t give a rats ass what decision she makes. I don’t have a personal investment if if she stops to talk with you. I don’t get personal satisfaction from people choosing to have an abortion. I am there to let people access health care. I have never grabbed a patient. I have never smirked walking out. I chat with patients. Hell, I sometimes say half my job is keeping the antis from getting punched. Why in the world would you think I *care* how many people have abortions? I don’t care. I just want them to have *access*. It’s not a game where you win or I win.

And yes, I’ve been in the waiting room. I see women who are tired, women who are reading a book, women who are chatting. I have had women tell us that they feel better, I’ve had plenty of women thank me for making the trip to get health care a little less scary for them.

And yes, I’ve gone with a friend when she needed support. For her it was a hard decision. It’s one she has very mixed feelings about, but she’s still sure she made the decision that was right for her. And I stood with her and let her work through that. I didn’t tell her what to do, and I would have supported her whatever she choose.

This isn’t a game where you get saves and I get abortions. My only interest is in those women being able to access healthcare without fear.

Pat C:

One lie that gets me is the, “Ask them to show you the ultrasound. They don’t want you to know the truth,” The clinic will not only show it to you if you ask, they will print a photo for you if you want.

AND

Since I transport many clients home after their procedure, this is not true. All of them say the staff are kind, compassionate and keep asking them if they are in pain. They will stop the procedure if needed to comfort the patient and reapply a local if necessary.

Huxley M:

One: some clinic clients are nervous. They’re typically nervous because they’re about to have a medical procedure, which is worth getting tense about. They’re also typically nervous about the protesters out front.

Two: some clients do have sad feelings, for a variety of reasons – the one I’ve encountered most (I’m also doing volunteer transport now, which means lots more talking than escorting does) is that they do want to talk, to have someone in their life know what’s up. “Hey, this is why I’ve seen stressed lately/seemed sick/etc.” And they don’t feel like they can, because they are afraid they will be treated by loved ones the way they are by the protesters. The overwhelming amount of negative emotion surrounding abortion is what they create – which is exactly what they intend.

Finally, just grabbing a client’s arm? I dunno about everybody, but we don’t even walk with clients without asking if they want us to. I have never initiated physical contact with a client, ever. Protesters make plenty of unsolicited and unwanted physical contact with clients, companions, and escorts, though. Guess they’re projecting?

Thanks guys, you rock!

Dear Former Clinic Escort,

Saturday Storify!

This may or may not be a regular thing, but people seem to really like it when I combine my escorting tweets into an easy to read format.

We don’t get the crowds as other clinics, but our regulars are persistent, annoying, the worst, and occasionally, hilarious.

So, here’s two Saturdays combined. Enjoy!

 

Saturday Storify!

Linky Roundup!!

Haven’t done one of these in a while, and since I’ll be getting all geared up for a trip to Chicago next week, here’s a list of stuff that has inspired, infuriated, and just plain pissed me off:

Unisex Makeup is now a THING! And it works pretty damned well on stubble!

Street Harassment turns deadly Again. But really, fellas, tell us more about why we should take time out our day to entertain your need to inform us about your boner.

Matthew Klickstein puts his foot in his racist mouth, gets his event at NYCC canceled Insert whining about “free speech violation” that usually happens when people decide they don’t want to associate with asshole anymore.

Olivia gives a well-deserving flipped bird to those who want us to “Get Off Your Phone”

“Students for Life” attempt to shut down Sex Week at University of New Mexico And they have to do this with the same nonsense as showing up to a SouperSalad and pitching a fit because they don’t have a Thanksgiving turkey dinner with all the trimmings on the menu.  You want a week dedicated to abstinence?  Start one yourself, you lazy fucks. Until then, we’ll be over here dealing with the reality of college students having the sex.

Here’s a double dose of We Hunted the Mammoth:

‘JudgyBitch” banned from Twitter. It’s like a person just can’t go around blatantly slandering people (or ‘sharing’ blatant slander without bothering to look into it)

Another woman is driven from her home thanks to more threats  Her crime? Sharing a meme that shows the GamerGaters for the children they are.  And then someone decided to prove the meme correct by throwing a disturbing tanty.  GGer’s want to clean up their image?  They can start by condemning shit like this, instead of clamoring to defend their ‘good’ name.

Now, right now, this weekend, there is a 4-day rally happening in Ferguson.  Catch the beat by beat on Twitter, and #staywoke

ANNNND lastly, apparently 40 Days of Bullshit (I’m sorry, “Life”) happens twice a year, and we got ourselves a fucking crowd showed up and showed out in front of my clinic.  Between myself and fellow escort Brianne, we collected enough witness for me to make my first Storify.  Enjoy our pain!

Alright, that’s it for now.  I might have a new blogpost before I head out for Chicago, maybe not.  You’ll see!

Linky Roundup!!

A Good Start

While escorting (been sick for two weeks, so no new fuckery to share, sorries!), two things never fail to break my shriveled black heart:

  1. A patient bursting into tears due to the harassment
  2. A patient asking me if there’s anything I can do to make the harassment stop

Number one makes me rage, makes me see red, makes me want to shove those brochures down the lying, pathetic. sanctimonious, bullying maws of our merry band of morons.  Number two makes me feel so helpless that I want to cry.  I wish I could do something, say something that would spare our patients from the deluge of bullshit and lies incapable of taking “no”, “leave me alone”, or “fuck off” for an answer.   

And you know what the fucked up part of it all is?  If I was walking downtown and one of those friendly vest wearing hawkers for Save The Children or Amnesty International came up to me and I said, “No Thank You”, they go away. I don’t have to hear them out first, I don’t have to give them a second of my time, I don’t even have to be POLITE about (though I usually am), and they go away.  If they didn’t, I could find a cop and say, “This person is harassing me”, and the cop would do something.  Talk to the person, if there’s enough complaints, even arrest this person.  Downtown, I have the right to not be harassed, no matter how good of a cause they think they are representing to not be harassed.

So, why is it any different when I’m walking into a women’s clinic?  Isn’t me saying “I’m not interested, leave me alone” enough of a hint that I don’t want to be followed and or pestered?  

Hat tip to Jezebel, San Francisco seems to be taking the first step in the very correct direction to stop the harassment of clinic patients and escorts:

Supervisor David Campos announced a joint-effort with San Francisco’s police department along with Planned Parenthood and the City Attorney’s Office, working on legislation that would act as an anti-harassment ordinance. The legislation seeks to prevent the more aggressive harassment that protesters launch at abortion clinics, namely following patients or clinic employees around. It would give police the authority to temporarily move protesters away from a clinic, allowing them to return.

This is exactly what we need, for every clinic in every city in this country.  An anti-harassment law that is aimed to keep patients safe and unbothered by the more pushy and obnoxious elements of the pro-life side. Those who show up to just pray are still allowed (even though personally, I think that’s a form of spiritual bullying), those who show up and just hold up a sign are still allowed, those who even get the occasional, rare patient that will stop and hear them out are still allowed.  

What isn’t okay is reaching into cars, shoving papers at someone, following them to the door (or property line), beckoning them from windows, pestering someone while they pay for parking, and all the other bullshit I see every Saturday and that you can have a lookie by following the #notcounseling hashtag on Twitter.  

Their right to ‘sidewalk counsel’* ends at the right of the patients to say “NO”. 

 

 

 

*And don’t even get me started on what bullshit “sidewalk counseling” is.

 

 

 

 

 

A Good Start

Femi’s Feeling Pissy, Time to Rip Up Some Fuckshit

It’s been a rough day.  I won’t go into details, because let’s face it, this ain’t my Facebook (and I’m one of those weirdos who only friends people she’s actually met),  but it was a crappy day.

Okay, one detail.  Some jackhole at the bus stop today declared that my N7 t-shirt was obviously my boyfriends’.  My ladies’ cut N7 t-shirt (no link, as it was on sale when I got it, and now it’s gone).  Thankfully he got on a different bus, and I remembered that I’m too sick to go to jail to smacking him on both sides of his shorts with my cane. Really, we’re still on the “fake geek girl” kick?  Oh well.

So I’m kinda cranky, so I decided to dig up an article I shared on Facebook that I’d promised to address here.  It’s from the particularly fuckbrained branch of the pro-life movement, Secular Pro-life, “Refuting the Ridiculous Pro-Abortion Claim: The Pro-Life Movement is Anti-Sex”.

So, let’s not even talk about the place where this article is posted, LifeNews, with its usual brand of twisted nonsense. Oh wait, maybe we should, because this article is PERFECTLY rife with building up strawmen and then knocking them down.

First that title: Ohhh, “pro-abortion”, soooo scary!  I’m sure that’ll go over really well with the intended audience. Well, I am pro-abortion, so that doesn’t really scare me.  I’m pro safe, legal abortion in the same way I am pro safe, legal dental extractions, cancer surgeries, and transplants.

Let’s begin with the post (all bolds are mine, btw):

The pro-abortion claim that pro-lifers are anti-sex is nothing new. From Canadian abortion advocates’ recent attempt to make some kind of point by dressing up as penises and vaginas, to Amanda Marcotte’s bizarre assertion that pro-lifers’ motive in protesting outside abortion facilities is “to gawk and yell at women whose soon-to-be-terminated pregnancies constitute solid proof they’ve recently touched a penis” (I guess we’ll be protesting outside maternity wards next), nothing really surprises me anymore.

 

Wow, it take a special kind of assumption to drop that kind of load. It’s not that we think pro-lifers are “anti-sex”, it’s more like they’re “anti-sex that is happening without their permission and beyond their stated purpose”.  Premarital sex, gay sex, non-procreative sex, you name it, they hate it and fight against it. Now, most pro-lifers mask this as God’s plan, but this is “Secular” Pro-Life, so…yeah. Next time, try reading those links for comprehension.

Allow me to propose a simple logical argument.

Major premise: Pro-lifers constitute a little less than half the adult population of the United States.
Minor premise: The vast majority of American adults have sex from time to time.
Conclusion: Most American pro-lifers have sex. And I’ll bet they enjoy it, too

Well, you’ve got “simple” down pretty good. Logical? Not on your life.

You’re starting from the assumption that we think pro-lifers don’t have sex. Given the number of sidewalk bullies who are beyond eager to gab about children and grandchildren and even sometimes bring the little darlings along to frolic around the dismembered fetus signs, I have no fucking clue where this even comes from.  Hell, I’ve had a bully practically dangle a baby in front of the escorts as if we were supposed to either instantly change our minds by the power of cute (granted, she was adorable!) or hiss and hide like vampires exposed to a cross. Yeah, we know they have the sex, so this “logic” does nothing but punt a strawman who you haven’t even bothered to prove in the first place.  You went from “concerned  about people having the wrong kind of sex” straight to “all sex is icky” and only the most uncharitable of readings could get you there.

Then again, given the surprise some pro-lifers have when some pro-choice folk manage to both support the right of an abortion AND have kids of their own (to the point of downright asking pregnant escorts why they don’t abort their wanted pregnancies), strawmen are part and parcel.

Do pro-lifers want people to have sex irresponsibly? Of course not. People shouldn’t have sex until they are ready, and people certainly shouldn’t have unprotected sex if they aren’t prepared to handle the baby who may be conceived as a result. But that doesn’t make the pro-life movement anti-sex.

This may surprise you, but I agree.  As a matter of fact, our side totally agrees with you.  And it’s YOUR side who’s against arming people, especially young people, with the comprehensive knowledge that would help them make responsible choices when it comes to sex.

(and also..nice touch with the wedding couple pic there.  It gives us a hint at what might be defined as “responsible”, and that is where we start to disagree)

 It makes us anti-irresponsible-sex. Most pro-choicers are opposed to irresponsible sex too; given the alarming spread of STDs, you’d have to be stupid to advocate a lifestyle of unprotected, promiscuous sex.

…which is why very few people are for unprotected, promiscuous sex. Very good.  You get points.

Many pro-lifers believe that the only responsible course of action is to abstain from sex altogether until marriage, and I respect that. But others do have sex before marriage (or engage in premarital sexual activity other than vaginal intercourse), and there’s no sense in pretending that the pro-life movement is made up of virgins.

See, we were going good for a minute there. Good for you for bucking the trend of your more theistic kin and acknowledging that sex outside of marriage and sex that isn’t penis in vagina is a thing that people do.  I would recommend promoting that even more…and seeing just how welcoming your ‘godless’ ways are then.  But yes, we were rocking until that last part. Holy record scratch, Batman.

No one’s pretending that part. At all.  Again, it takes a very uncharitable reading to glean “pro-lifers are virgins scared of naughty parts, nya!” from any of what you linked to earlier.  The breeze from the point whizzing over your head must be oh so refreshing.

There is a large space between the two extremes, between the slut-shaming, chastity-belt-wearing caricature and the needless-risk-taking sex maniac. The pro-life movement is made up almost entirely of people in the middle. (And so is the pro-choice movement, for that matter.) We aren’t going to faint at the sight of a nutjob in a penis costume, or scream in horror at women who’ve had sex. But we are going to stand up and oppose any attitude toward sex that treats abortion as just a form of birth control, and that is willing to sacrifice the lives of unborn children in the pursuit of sexual pleasure.

And here you ends things the exact same way as the previous paragraph, start with a reasonable point, and then end with nonsense.  As for the “abortion as birth control” I will direct you to my previous blog post about how nonsensical that claim is. As to your oh-so-dramatic description of abortion as a “sacrifice” to sexual pleasure, well, you’re kinda negating your whole “pro-life isn’t anti-sex” point.

See, pro-life is anti-sex.  They are anti-sex they deem “irresponsible”, a definition that is narrow as all fuck, and they make silly claims that abortions are sacrifices, and that having sexual pleasure outside of their narrow definition is apparently a bad thing, which in turn leads to various and sundry shame tactics like the ones I see every damn Saturday morning. While I am glad you are willing to accept the reality of sex being slightly wider than that narrow definition, banning safe and legal abortions aren’t going to a damn thing but sacrifice living born humans in the pursuit of someone else’s sense of righteousness. If you really cared about that “middle”, you should be telling your side to tamp down that shamey shit and stereotyping those who seek abortions as ‘irresponsible”.

 

And now that I’ve gotten myself all snarked out, behold, folks, my moment of Zen. Ooh-rah!:

...and now all is right with the world. Good night, folks
…and now all is right with the world. Good night, folks!
Femi’s Feeling Pissy, Time to Rip Up Some Fuckshit