Today in “The Party of No Government Waste Wasting Government Money”

Michigan joins the list of states who attempted to slander welfare recipients by forcing them to endure drug tests – and finding damn near none of them are on drugs.



*throws up middle fingers to Michigan* NONE!

Continue reading “Today in “The Party of No Government Waste Wasting Government Money””

Today in “The Party of No Government Waste Wasting Government Money”

Poor Teeth

Ijeoma Oluo wrote an article on what it’s like being poor with bad teeth for THE ESTABLISHMENT (seriously, you gotta check that blog out.  It’s amazing!), and it hit me in all of the feels and directly into my mouth.

Continue reading “Poor Teeth”

Poor Teeth

Piss Checks on the Poor and Dignity

States have been joining in this wild new trend: Making welfare recipients pee into a cup! If there’s drugs in the pee, no more benes for yoooooou.

I can see the logic. Who wants to know that their Hard Earned Tax Dollars are being spent to fuel some lazy fucker’s drug habits? Those with addictions don’t deserve our ‘gift’!

And then I pull my head out of my ass and notice reality.

The shit doesn’t work like they want it to.  It disproves their theory each and every time. Those on welfare use drugs at a lower rate than the general population. No, really. It’s almost as if it’s really, really difficult to get your hands on some weed when you can barely pay for food.  Or something.

All these lawmakers are doing is proving just how quickly they can waste tax money by getting the public all fired up about some straight up bullshit. And then you have state after state going “This time, it’ll be different!” and doing the same thing with the same results, wasting more tax money and you know what?

This is going to sound very off the wall, but they could have taken that money and used it to raise the amount people get on welfare. I’m serious and my reasons are not completely selfish.  The payments are already miserably low, hard enough to scrape by, especially with a family. I got a letter from the state telling me the full amount that I received between EBT and Cash Assistance.

About $2500. All year. If I wasn’t living rent-free in exchange for doing chores and shit, I’d be so royally fucked.  The wait list for Section 8 is counted in YEARS.  I’d have no place to stay.

As much as I would think I’d like to get fucked up in those circumstances, how the fuck would I even pay for a dime bag?

Raise the amount of benefits.  Give some of the poorest folks in your state some right to some dignity. Oh, what’s that? Pay us too much and then people will just quit their jobs and get on the benes?

Man, y’all have no respect for any of the poor, working or not, do you? There’s a reason why I offer anyone who thinks its easy being on the dole to try it.  Not one of those bullshit ‘eat on only blah dollars a week” experiments.  Quit your job and join us? See just how ‘easy’ it is?

Case in point: I got a letter last month because my medical opinion note from my doctor had expired. So I have my new doctor fill out another one, because none of my shit’s going away (and I’m on Year Two of the Disability Tango).  The first of the month rolls around and nada.  So I call to ask why.

There was a date wrong on the form.

I lost my benes because of a wrong date.

So now I have to go back to the doc and fill out a new form (or, since this one was faxed, just fill out that page) just so I can get money for next month – the clerk, one of the few understanding ones, had my case reopened so I could get that and EBT for this month.

You want to go through this AND get randomly piss tested?  You want to go through the running around, the double checking, the rooms full of hundreds of other people all waiting for the same or similar things, the wrong forms, the wrong ways to fill out the forms, just so you can eat and/or buy some fucking toothpaste?

Are you willing to give up that much of your dignity?

Then why would you do this do your fellow humans?

Photo by micahb37

Piss Checks on the Poor and Dignity

“Self-entitled ungratereful fuckoff”


I was called such just yesterday because I wouldn’t specifically “show some gratitude” for this person’s ‘gift’ of my public assistance. That was their goodbye after constant demands that I say ‘thank you’ and showed ‘gratitude’.


In my typical style, I informed him just what I was going to show:

Show My Ass

…and the conversation further deteriorated from there, leading to the above huffy departure.

One can only be dehumanized but for so long before politeness goes right out the fucking window, and as I’ve warned my compatriots here at Orbit, I have no professional face.

And yes, expecting a ‘thank you’ from folks on welfare for the pittance part of your taxes that goes to us is pretty damned entitled, so holy pot and kettle and shit.

In light of the article I posted two days ago and this current POS from some shithead from Alabama who thinks welfare recipients shouldn’t have a car, but should somehow be able to get to work, I have only one thing to say to those who feel that we on public assistance should allow such limitations to our person in gratitude for even getting the “gift” assistance.

Do you understand now?

If I give you a sweater as a gift, I don’t get to also tell you how to wear it, when to wear it, and what to wear it with. It’s a fucking gift, once it hits your hands, it’s yours to do with as you will.

If my $380 is a ‘gift’, then you don’t get to say shit about what I do with it. You don’t give a homeless person $5 and then watch them go to the coffee shop to get a cuppa or some food.  Once you give someone money, unless there is an assumption of some sort of contract, you can take your opinions about how it’s spent and shove it.

These laws limiting how people can use the cash part of their assistance, and what food they can buy with their SNAP, are bullshit. It’s treating people who are already down on their luck like wayward children who are bad at money.  I know I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating because I keep running into total douchejacks who treat their tax money the same way Gollum treated the goddamn One Ring.

We are people. We are human.  We have needs like everyone else. We have needs for leisure, recreation, fun in our lives too. Once that money hits our cards, it’s ours to spend. Are some on PA bad with money and make shit decisions? Yeah, but so do people who get paychecks, and I don’t see any initiative for their bosses to tell them exactly what to do with that money.

For fuck’s sake, we don’t get much in the first place.  Unless we have a legally listed reason, we can only get assistance 36 months in total IN A LIFETIME. Life sucks too much under PA, and these assholes not only want our tongue up their asses in gratitude, but to allow lawmakers to chip away at what we’re already get.

It’s enough to make a person just a little…cranky.


No, taxpayers, my mouth is too busy trying to educate about how poverty actually works in America, to kiss your ass and grovel.  I’m poor.  I am not LESS than you. If I decide to spend my $200 in non-food money on a MAC makeup shopping spree, it’s mine to do so.  The penalty of not having money for bus fare, pads, lotion, hair moisturizer, etc. is my penalty to suffer.  NOT YOURS. If I use my $180 SNAP allotment on pricey steaks and seafood, then the penalty is not having money for eggs and milk and cereal and avocados (yes, I buy avocados. Bite me). NOT YOURS.

Natural consequences are enough, we don’t need laws limiting our access to punish us, fuck you very much.

As for attempting to shove us into jobs by shoving us out of welfare, it’s the ultimate in ignorant cruelty. I’ve mentioned already that as long as we have an unemployment rate above 0%, we will need public assistance. As long as day care costs more than what some can make in a year working, we will need public assistance. When you make it more difficult to get and keep welfare, you’re not forcing people to choose work, you’re resigning people to hunger and homelessness (AND THEIR CHILDREN, but fuck them, right?). The vast majority of people aren’t on welfare because they don’t want to work; they’re on it because they can’t make ends meet.

But as long as the “lazy lifetime” welfare stereotype persists, as long as people share stories that their brother’s cousin’s hairdresser’s nephew’s husband saw someone with a smartphone and an Escalade buy lobster with an EBT card, as long as the general public refuses to educate themselves on how poorer folk actually live (AND UPDATE THEIR FUCKING INFO, FUCK!), then laws like these will continue to be proposed and passed.

Because, everyone say it with me: “Poor people aren’t people”.

Whew, I want to not talk about this for a little while, and after that long FB fight, I need something to make me feel better. Oh Xiumin?

Much, much better
Much, much better, you beautiful creature


“Self-entitled ungratereful fuckoff”

Poor People Aren’t People

I’m a little late to this party, but I was following the news of Kansas’ proposed House Bill 2258, which pretty much bans folks on public assistance from visiting “swimming pools, see movies, go gambling or get tattoos on the state’s dime”, and from withdrawing more than $25 at any ATM.

If you’re nodding your head at these restrictions, read on.  While fucking yourself.

I’ve already mocked the idea that people on public assistance aren’t supposed to act like ‘normal people’ with needs and wants and shit before, but this bill – and the fact that it passed – makes me ill. And confused.

And then I made the horrible mistake of reading the comments, and the ignorance of the people who have no fucking idea how public assistance even works made my ill and confused turn into anger.

Full disclosure for anyone who didn’t read that second link: I am on public assistance.  I receive $180 a month for SNAP and $200 a month for Cash Assistance.  That’s $380 a month for a single woman with no children. I’m exactly rolling in the dough, and neither are families with children.

The myth that folks on welfare are just lazy bums living it up on the taxpayer’s precious dime is ludicrous and always has been.  People keep repeating these myths over and over again, or even worse, repeating the same shit people have been saying since the 80s-90s that prompted that bullshit Welfare to Work law Bill Clinton signed way the fuck back when.

Firstly, I really wish people would update their info.  I can’t discuss shit with people who repeat the “welfare folks buying steaks and lobster and cheating the system” myth. It’s like trying to work on someone’s computer today and finding out they’re still using Windows 3.1. It’s ridiculous and more work than it’s really worth.

Secondly, the shitty lie that lead to this bill doesn’t even make sense.  In Kansas, the maximum benefit a household with one adult and two children is $518 a month. Some of that goes into a card (usually the same card as your SNAP benefits) and can be withdrawn into cash.  How exactly are they going to enforce this if, for example, I use $20 from my Cash Assistance to pay for pads, toothpaste, deodorant, and two Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups if even the cashier can’t tell the different where the cash came from?

Thirdly, and this is important, unemployment is still at a pretty shitty rate and will never be 0%. So that leaves people who have been unemployed for long periods of time or sporadically employed up shit creek once their 36 months lifetime limit is up (Thanks, Bill).  What are they supposed to do then, starve? Be homeless?

The only reason bills like this are popular, and most people won’t admit it, is that we’re not seen as people if we aren’t able to work for any reason. It’s that Protestant work ethic “if you don’t work, you don’t eat” bullshit, where people will merrily allow those less fortunate to be even less fortunate, so they can feel better about themselves.  They’re good people.  They contribute to society.  THOSE people are leeches, sucking the rest of us good working people dry.

These are the same people who slap bumper stickers on their cars that say “Work harder, thousands of people on welfare are depending on you!”.  Because that thousand, none of them are human.

These are the same people who are on the lookout for anyone committing the crime of whipping out a SNAP card while looking remotely nice or possessing something that looks nice or buying something they “shouldn’t” be buying. How dare THOSE people have nice things on my dime?

We poor folk, to these people, don’t deserve happiness, and our children deserve even less.  I’ve read a comment that complained about someone using their SNAP card on a birthday cake.  We’re not even good enough to buy a premade cake.  We’re not good enough to buy sodas or candy.  We’re not good enough to get manicures, or buy cheap ass makeup, or maybe splurge a little and go to a fucking movies once in a while.  Unless we’re magically conjure up a job or better circumstances where we can get a job, we are worthless and unhuman to these people.

And that’s while bills like this make me sick.  That’s why attempts to fish out druggies that are on welfare (that have failed over and over again, and waste taxpayer’s precious monies, but you won’t hear them complain about it) make me sick. People gleefully snatching food out of the mouths of poor adults and children in the name of urging adults to ‘get a job’ in a society where working people make so little that they are also on welfare make me sick. Treating poor people like foolish children incapable of making the ‘right decisions’, therefore requiring limits like this bullshit bill make me not just ill, but angry.

We are people, damnit. Poverty is a trial and a burden. We don’t want to be in this situation. Treating us like shit doesn’t help us get jobs, it just makes the burden worse.



Poor People Aren’t People

How to Be the Perfect Welfare Recipient

(Quick little blogger’s edit: If you think I’m going to allow your tired ass, shamey, or deliberately ignorant comments to see the light of day, think again.  If it’s trash, it goes in the trash. I’m not hosting a debate here.)

Hello, Dear Taxpayer:

Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to speak too loudly.  Should I stand to the side?  I wouldn’t want to take up too much room.

I *ahem* receive welfare, and I feel terrible about it. I don’t make enough money to support myself, so I have to steal yours to make ends meet.  I’m sorry.  So very sorry.  

Every day I sit at home and think with gratitude about how you other hardworking Americans work long days to earn me my pittance.  I wouldn’t want to go outside and have you see me.  I wouldn’t want you to know I exist.

Oh wait? You want me to get a job?  Alright.  I’m so sorry, but the wages are so low that I have to beg for a little of your money still.  I’m so, so sorry! Please forgive me!

When I shop, I do it carefully.  I wouldn’t want to mismanage the money you gave me.  Do I buy prepacked processed food and seem wasteful, or do I buy fresh cuts of meats and veggies and good stuff and look frivolous? Please, Dear Taxpayer, tell me what I should buy to make you less angry about my thievery of your precious tax dollars. 

The things I buy with the cash benefit (I’m sorry! I need more money to spend on things that aren’t food!  Please don’t hate me) are simple and basic.  No name brands.  I’m sorry, is that not good enough? How about Dollar Store brands?  Nope, nothing that might not fall apart or break within months for me.  Thrift store outfits all the way.  I wouldn’t want to look too rich in your sight.

Joys?  I have no joy.  I am poor.  I do not deserve joy.  Occasionally eating outside of the house?  Why would I waste your money like that?  Gifts from friends and family who are doing better than me?  Nope, I won’t accept a single one because I am poor and do not wish to be seen with something that is “too good’ for the likes of me.  All of the nice things I may have owned before I needed to put my hands in your hardworking pockets?  Gone.  I threw them all away.  Any children I may have foolishly had while on poor? Gone. A temporal vortex swallowed them the second I applied for benefits.  What was I doing having sex while poor anyway? When you see me, I want you see someone who looks as poor as you think I should.  What choices should I make for my life, Dear Taxpayer?  Please tell me.

Because it’s all about you, Dear Taxpayer.

Hold please, urge to barf passing.

Now that we’re back to me, where the fuck do people get off trying to talk about welfare while knowing fuck all about it? Seriously.  I’ve been in several Facebook “discussions” in the past three days about government assistance and it’s like Groundhog Day minus Bill Murray and less funny.

So, allow me to tackle some of those shit excuses for arguments here, where I can be an uncivil as I please:

“I grew up poor and lifted myself up by my own bootstraps and so should everyone else!”

– You want a cookie or something? Congratulations, you’re better than everyone, you special snowflake you.  Now what will we do with those who aren’t as super-dee-duper awesome as you are?

“People shouldn’t have kids they can’t afford!”

– Mm-mmm that’s some good Just World fallacy! Now, what exactly should we do for the kids born to people you disapprove of that are alive right now? Also, telling people not to fuck has never and will never work.

“People are selling their food stamps for drug money!”

“People live their entire lives on welfare!” 

“Illegals get welfare all the time!”

– I’m just gonna lump all of these into the “Hi, I’m stuck in the 80s.” Update your bullshit, please. Also, and I’m gonna put this in bold and all caps: SNAP IS FOR FOOD.  ONLY. Stop saying otherwise, you ignorant shits.

“Welfare is so easy to get!”

– Says someone who has never had to sign up for it.  Bank statements, paychecks, royalty statements, landlord statements, copies of utilities, the personal information of every person you live with, whether they are getting the benes with you or not. And that’s just to sign up.  Then you have to cough it up again every six months.  You can’t work too many hours or you lose it.  You can’t get married (if you’re broke and your intended isn’t), or you lose it.

Tell me again how easy it is?

“I saw someone use an EBT card and they had an iPhone/a nice purse/a tattoo/new shoes/a nice weave/something I don’t think they deserve!”

– First of all, fuck you for trying to judge based on one look. Maybe it hasn’t dawned onto you, but people in cooperative societies manage to get their needs met in a lot of different ways.  Maybe they had that fancy object before they got poor.  Maybe they got it for free with one of those “sign your soul over” data plans.  Maybe the purse is a knockoff, or traded babysitting or something for someone to fix their hair/do their nails (oh, and nice racist dogwhistle, btw).  Maybe that tattoo is getting paid in installments.

Or maybe, and this might hurt your feelings, but I don’t give a shit, when that cash assistance money hits their account, it’s none of your fucking business how they spend it.  Does your boss have a say in how you spend your check?

I know, I know, “But I earned my money.  Poors didn’t earn theirs!”

And? The state, the social worker who had more access to their financials than your nosy ass does decided on the amount to give, not you.  It’s their money.  As long as they’re not breaking any of the rules attached to it, they can spend it however the fuck they want.  Basic household supplies, clothes and shoes, make up, a nice aftershave, a cup of fancy coffee, a .99 phone app, whatever.  It is ours to save or spend.

Poor people aren’t some cast offs living where needs above food, clothing and shelter are different.  Not making enough to make ends meet doesn’t mean we check out of all the good parts of being human.  I’ve heard people piss and moan about seeing someone using SNAP for a birthday cake for a child.

A motherfucking birthday cake for a kid.

Because being poor apparently means you get no joy (and being born to a poor family means you’re just shit out of luck).  No temporary comfort.  Nothing that makes you feed good in a world that is shit and even more so when you apparently are too poor to exist without some ignorant motherfucker peeping in your shopping cart for shit your not “supposed” to have.

There is nothing easy about being poor. If you think otherwise, you try it.  If that’s too scary for you, then climb the fuck off our backs.

How to Be the Perfect Welfare Recipient