I did the rant on Facebook days ago, but since I’m on this weird “sleep during the heat, work on costume and the Sims during the night” schedule, I just remembered that I promised that I would post it here so it can be shared (my Facebook is friendslocked):
Damn near every time a shooting happens with an identifiable gun, the same shit happens:
“That’s not a BLAHBLAH, it’s actually a BLAHBLAH.”
“…YADDA YADDA automatic YADDA YADDA semi-automatic YADDA YADDA…”
Suddenly everyone becomes a fucking gun expert, whipping out their knowledge, trying to ‘splain to people who are angry, upset, or mourning that they’re don’t know what they’re talking about.
I know this goes against all things skeptical, but I DON’T CARE. No. Really. I don’t.
And I’ve held, loaded, and fired guns more than twice, so I’m not gonna faint at the mere mention of a gun.
You know why I don’t care? Because if it can kill dozens of people in a matter of seconds, a citizen does not fucking need it. Ever. Not in this fucking country. Semi/automatic, extended clip, what the fuck ever. It’s not needed to hunt (if you can’t hunt without attempting to shower your quarry with bullets, you’re a shittier hunter than I am – and I can barely hit anything with a .22 rifle). It’s not needed for self-defense. It’s not necessary.
Of all of the guns that ought to be “taken”, these types are top of my list. You don’t fucking need it.
…and that was in my mind while I mourn with my fellow queers.
What do you get when you add:
1 Group of Anti-Muslim bigots with guns
1 Group of Nation of Islam protectors. With guns.
Answer: A story that is still making me laugh. Holy balls.
And it’s in Texas, because of course it is.
Racial tensions in South Dallas almost exploded at an anti-mosque protest Saturday afternoon before quickly dissolving when the protesters retreated.
A few hundred South Dallas residents, mostly black, flooded Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard to oppose a planned demonstration by a mostly white group that routinely protests outside mosques.
Both sides were armed.
Damn skippy. This is an amazing show of solidarity.
I can stop giggling long enough to acknowledge that one other group there, the New Black Panther Party (not to be confused with the original BPP, who were fucking heroes to their neighborhoods) are recongized as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center for being really anti-Semitic, which is the opposite of okay. So fuck those guys.
Commences the giggles again.
But the other group joining the NOI in this effort? The Huey P Newton Gun Club. That name alone makes me want to grab a .22 (the only gun I’m even remotely decent with firing ) and find a mosque to defend.
…if the thought of actually shooting a human didn’t make me sick to my stomach.
But other than that, though, this is amazing. This is hysterical. It’s like white people don’t seem to realize that when they cry out for the right to open carry so they can protect themselves, they’re also giving the OTHER races the same right. And when they see that right being exercised, the fucking cowards run.
This makes me facepalm for two reasons, the company’s is in my current state of residence, and the other reason should be completely fucking obvious.
In a country with a motherfucker can get shot reaching for his damn ID, where a 12 year old boy is shot for having a fake gun in a state where having a real gun is legal, is this a good idea? Don’t even get me started finding links on people being shot for reaching for a cell phone, or twitching wrong. Usually while black.
But don’t you worry, folks, the creator Kirk Kjellberg assures us all that it’s okay, as long as people are responsible with their weapons.
“In America, we have lots of children in contact with pistols already. There’s been quite a few incidents long before my product came along,” he said. “For me, it’s not the gun. It’s the people. So if you have a pistol and you have children anywhere near you, it’s your responsibility to lock that stuff up and keep it away from children.”
Yup, and I’m sure buyers of this thing will be super responsible, like every single case of gun fail we’ve seen before.
The Facebook page for this “thing” is studded with ‘right to bear’ arms arguments and memes and shit, and this delightful piece of advice:
WHEN I read these crazy posts about how people will now be more likely to be shot for either “reaching for their phone” or “pointing their phone at a cop”, I still cannot get over the TOTAL ENTITLEMENT exhibited in those statements. Police are here to serve but are not your servants. If your ANYWHERE near a Law Enforcement Officer of any kind DON’T BE AN IDIOT; DON’T MOVE AROUND QUICKLY OR AT ALL, KEEP YOUR HANDS VISIBLE AT ALL TIMES, DON’T “REACH” FOR ANYTHING UNLESS THE NICE OFFICER HAS AGREED YOU CAN DO SO. If you want to scratch your nose or your balls, ASK PERMISSION. If you want to film an officer: “EXCUSE ME WHILE I WHIP THIS OUT” doesn’t cut it with me. Tell them in a reasonable tone you are going to SLOWLY get your phone so you can record, IF THEY SAY NO, THEN ITS NO. You can take it up with their superior, (or the Judge), later. If your an assbag about your interactions with Police, it will end badly, period!
Excuse me while I laugh as hard as I can. Having tears in your eyes and rage in your heart counts as hysterical laughter, right?
Do I have to list the number of people who didn’t do anything and are shot by the police? How the police barge into the homes of innocent people and just blow them away (too many links to even pick one to post)? What did a 7-year-old sleeping girl do? How the police shoot motherfuckers who aren’t even armed? Like naked men who aren’t carrying a weapon and obviously needed help?
Where they all ‘idiots’ and ‘assbags’? And no, you fool, we’ve seen time and a-fucking-gain what happens when we try to ‘take it up with their supervisor’. Have you even been paying attention to the news and the protests and shit? If anyone around here is ‘entitled’, it’s you, creating this shit because you got looked at by some people with a kid pointed out your gun. Oh poor you.
Others can tackle the far deeper issue of deliberate gun violence and mass shootings and all that. I want to tackle something that frankly sounds simpler: Gun Failure. Or Failure to Gun Properly.
Most people, whether you’ve handled a gun yourself or not (for the record, I have. I’ve even fired a few), know at the very least rule one of gun safety reads something like “Don’t point it at anything you don’t want destroyed”. Then there’s “Assume all guns are loaded”, and “Put the safety on if you’re not going to shoot something”, and “GET YOUR FUCKING FINGER OFF THE TRIGGER, SPARKY!”
So basic, yet we get story after story of people who apparently never got the fucking memo, some to very tragic ends. That is, to other people. If you fuck up and put a gun to your head assuming it’s not loaded and splatter your brains all over the place, that’s on you, boo-boo, it’s what you get for losing a game of Russian Roulette vs. Common Sense.
Then there’s those special snowflakes who treat having a gun as “how we get our way” when their life is inconvenienced in some way (your fries were cold, you got your stuff checked before you could leave the store, someone cut you off in traffic, you don’t like the person your kid is dating for reasons other than abuse). One of my favorite web shows, What The Fuck Is Wrong With You?, has this quote that I’ve been using in these cases: “A gun is not a remote control for life”. This is poor gun responsibility and Gun Fail.
Here is my proposal to handle such issues of Gun Fail:
If you can’t handle a gun properly, you should get your license revoked and must report to some-fucking-where with all of the guns you have that are capable of being fired (so no, no one’s coming after Great Great Grandpa Magnum’s old rabbit huntin’ rifle or your collection of muskets from the Great War of Eighteen Twenty-Who Gives A Fuck) to give them up. This period could last for months, for years, forever, whatever, make it ramp up with the offense.
- You point that fucker at someone and are “surprised” when there’s a bullet in the chamber and it shoots that someone? Revoked. Also charged with whatever other crime is applicable here.
- You leave it where a kid could get their hands on it and shoot someone/themselves? REVOKED. Also arrested and charged with negligence at the very fucking least. And don’t give me that “their parents suffered enough” bullshit. You know who’s suffering more? The dead kid and/or the kid who shot said kid.
- You stick the fucker in your pants or waistband or whatever and shoot yourself and LIVE? Revoked.
- You use the fucker like a remote control for life. REVOKED.
- You do any of this shit and are a member of law enforcement or the military? REVOKED, FIRED, NEVER ALLOWED TO WORK IN THAT CAPACITY EVER AGAIN. Talk about supposed to know fucking better. Also, if you’re in the military, current or vet, your commanding officer pays you a visit to bawl your ass out.
I could go on.
Is this a very, very simplistic idea? Yup. It would need a lot more work, probably suited for people who know more about logistics than I. Would this stop mass murders? Nope. Could someone still get their hands on a gun anyway? Of course the fuck they can, don’t even TRY to insult my intelligence by assuming I don’t fucking know that. People get their hands on guns illegally all the fucking time. That’s already a crime, last I checked.
But damnit, it could at least make some of these “responsible” gun owners actually accountable, or think for a second, or even ACT like responsible gun owners I know, the ones who treat the fuckers like the lethal instruments they are.
Fewer Gun Fail would be good for everyone, as far as I’m concerned.