Good news, everyone! The smash flop Watch_Dogs has a sequel a comin’! Yay!
And even better, the lead ISN’T that Aiden jackass! Seriously, JACKASS.
Holy moley did you see the trailer? The lead looks, OMG, sit down, hold on to your beverage: BLACK!
And that was when some Steam users left the parade. Well, not before dropping some bits of shit in the forums. Thankfully, Jim Sterling did the digging so I didn’t have to and found the best corn in the shit, stepping on every single one of my pet peeves of entitled gamerbros.
“Wah, this character is just shoehorned in!!” Dude, the game isn’t even out yet and it seems to me that this lead will fit in perfectly. You know, since he’s the lead and all.
“EMBRACE DIVERSITY. PREPARE YOUR CUCKSHED” Yes, because accepting a character that isn’t Grizzled Straight White Male with MANPAIN number 39023 is EXACTLY like watching one’s wife being fucked by another man.
Also, a whole host of harmless perverts called. They want their word back. What you’re doing to ‘cuck’ is just disgusting and twisted.
“It’s subtle propaganda…” Oooooh, how subtle. One black lead today, ALL BLACK LEADS TOMORROW! MWAHAHAHAHA *lightening strike*
There was more, including the use of “dindus”, which should be written on a piece of paper and thrown into a bonfire, but my favorite was, “Black people don’t know how to use technology.”
I present my reaction in a series of pictures:
Okay, on the serious, I’ve been sick of the fact that any part of my humanity being reflected on the media I consume is “pandering”. Fuck you. What a bunch of whiny babies, crying because some other kid got a cookie while they’re holding a jar full of ’em. And got the damn nerve to call us SJWs ‘sensitive’ and ‘offended easily’.
Oh, I’m sorry, it’s only being offended easily when it’s someone you don’t care for. When it’s you, it’s a measured reasonable reaction. Heads, you win, tails I lose.
Well, guess what, buttercups, you better keep those hankies handy, because as game developers, both indie and the various As, start to recognize that they can do more than GSWMwM in their games, you’re going to be crying a lot more.
Because we’re winning. And besides, you hypocrites, you’re going to buy and play the game anyway, because you’re a bunch of addicts who can’t even hold off on online preorders, even though they’re complete fucking toss and a waste of money and you whine about them every time (like, for example, the previous Watch_Dogs prerelease. How you liking that ‘iconic’ cap?).
So, throw your tantrums, have your meltdowns. The rest of us, who just want a good game (without fucking Aiden that fucking unlikable no personality thug) are just sitting here like: