…You’re not Anti-Heroes

So, while the gamerbros are doing a bang up job of proving just how awful they can get (for serious guys, we have Joss Whedon and Will Wheaton on our side, you have the guy who played the guy more famous for a knitted hat.*), I had a thought.

If the guys who aren’t going along with this, guys who stand up against harassment and abuse of women in gaming, are snidely called “White Knights”, what does that make the gamerBros?

And it came to me…they’re wanna-be anti-heroes.

You know the anti-heros, gritty, tough guys who don’t give a shit about silly things like morals or property damage, but are going to save the day.  The Duke Nukems, the Kratos’, the Renegade Commander Shepards, the Agent 47s, the “I-can-go-on-but-here’s-the-TV-Tropes-link”.  (Hell, if I wanted to take an example from TV, the Jayne Cobbs) You’ll note that some of those heroes I listed are some of the same heroes that are noted in some of the games Anita Sarkessian’s Tropes Vs. Woman series.  They can lie, cheat, steal, kill, treat everyone around them disrespect, and get away with it because they are the heroes. The games are designed with that in mind.  As long as the world gets saved, who gives a shit if you took time out of your mission to kick a puppy or two, sell off some slaves, desecrate a holy site,  unnecessarily kill a dozen NPCs, was a massive tool to even your allies, right?

Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve played the asshole too.  I love RPGs with morality choices.  I’ve played the xenophobic jerkass  Shepard, the ruthless Warden, the complete shitty Hawke.  Hell, I remember have such a low reputation in Baldur’s Gate 2 that after saving the day, the elves were like “Thank you, now leave.” It’s an interesting way to play.

But in this current ‘fight’, video games are in apparent danger. People are talking about them in a critical way! What if designers listen to them and ruin gaming forever! What if evil feminist armies raid houses and put everyone who stared a second too long at Miranda’s ass against the wall for execution?  Time to fight! No holds barred! Everything is permitted! Nothing is true!

The problem, of course, if that this isn’t a video game. The anti-hero exists only in fiction. Most of these boys are either too chickenshit to do anything remotely like their on-screen avatars, or they actually understand that this is reality and taking cues from those guys will get you fucking arrested, so they do what they believe is the next best thing.  Harass, intimidate, abuse.  It doesn’t matter how low they go, as long as Our Games are safe from terrible awful OPINIONS!

Which is both sad and hilarious.  Sorry, boys, you’re not the anti-hero here.  You’re not even the hordes of cannon fodder.

If anything, you’re monkeys, shrieking and throwing poop at anyone who dares look hard at your cage for longer than a few seconds.

This isn’t a fucking war to be fought.  As I said in my previous post, either games are art, and subject to criticism, or they’re toys.  Either way, shrieking and throwing poop isn’t going to phase the rest of us who want our chosen favorite hobby to mature.  Like or hate the criticism, but literally showing your ass isn’t making you the bad ass rebel you think you are.

(here’s a hint, rebels want to CHANGE the status quo)

 

 

*And for ruining a certain recruitment mission for Mass Effect 2 for me.  Jerk.

…You’re not Anti-Heroes
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Fucking Pick One

Man, for all of the claims that ladyfolks are the emotional and irrational gender, nothing hits the heights of hysteria like a pissed off dudebro.

The sad part is, of course, pissing off a dudebro could end badly for a lady.

I mean, we could get brutally assaulted for breaking up with them (Trigger Warning for the link, it leads to her medical fund and has a photo of the damage)

We could get the Internet Hate Machine to ran down fury because a salty-ass ex was feeling vengeful.

We could even be driven out of our homes for fear of being physically hurt.

And those are just the most RECENT stories of men acting like the house is burning down at the slightest hint of life’s disappointments.  War Machine, I’d say there’s more fish in the sea, but you’re too damned off your nut that I wouldn’t wish my worst enemy on you.  Dude who is not longer dating Zoe Quinn, thanks for making it clear why no one should ever date you again.  And the horde of whiny gamers trying to intimidate Anita Sarkessian into not talking about your precious video games, grow the hell up.  These women have done waaay less harm to you than you have done to them, and for what?  Daring to no longer be your possession?  Breaking your heart?  Pointing out that *gasp* your favorite form of media has a sexism problem (and by the way, guys, you’re doing a more bang up job in proving that than Anita ever could if she was pumping out an episode a week)?

There is absolutely nothing they have done to deserve even a little bit of the abuse they have to put up with.  And it’s sexist. Case in point, where’s the hate conga line for the reviewers Zoe supposedly fucked for positive reviews?  Doesn’t it take two to tango? Aren’t they just as corrupt and awful as you think she is? Shouldn’t they be suffering in the exact same way?

…yeah, I thought so.

Either women are weak little things to be put in our places or our genitals are so powerful that they can stir even the toughest man into a frenzy. Fucking pick one and stick with it.

Either women are breathing sex dolls there solely for your enjoyment on a screen or actual people with actual opinions who just might disagree with you from time to time.  Fucking pick one.

Either video games are a valid form of art and storytelling (which can be critiqued like every other art form), or they’re toys for the immature who want more bloodshed and jiggling titties.  Fucking pick one.

Because you can’t have this shit both ways.

Fucking Pick One

A “Real” Gamer

(I did a thing on Facebook, and I thought it funny enough to share with all of you.  Aren’t you lucky?)

 

Hello, my name is Feminace and I play video games on Causal mode.

“Why?
“Because I want to.”
“But you’re not playing the games right.”
“Did you pay for my copy?”
“um..no.”
“Then have this box of fucks. Note that it is empty.”
“Don’t you want to be challenged?”
“Dude, I’m a fat black disabled woman. Real life is challenging ENOUGH. Let me lay back, cast spells, kiss elves (or “shoot rifles, kiss Marines“) and be happy, okay?”

“BUT YOU’RE NOT A REAL GAMER!”

“YES I AM AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME FROM SAYING SO!”

As much as I’m glad the “girls are real gamers” conversation is happening, I’d rather we not start dissing those who say, don’t play certain games, or attend certain competitions, or can dedicate so much time for the hobby, or who dare treat it like a hobby as “not real”.

I’m happy as hell that there are ladies out there who kick ass on Call of Duty or Halo or Left 4 Dead, who put up with the sexist ragegamers, and/or who have had a controller in their hands since before Coleco, I just feel that we shouldn’t even HAVE to justify ourselves to anyone.

“But, but Femi, what about those fake gamer girls who call themselves gamers because they only play BubbleBashCandyCrack saga on Facebook? We have to protect our precious image!”

First of all, ARE there people who only play social media games who call themselves ‘gamers’?  Because to my knowledge, that’s a big ol stinky red herring.  And if they did, so the fuck what? Does it take any enjoyment of your games from you?  Doesn’t it worry you that when non-gamers hear ‘gamers’, they imagine anything more than a anti-social basement dwelling dude with cheesy Doritos stained fingers screaming abuse into a headset between sips of Mountain Dew while he plays Call of Duty 60 hours a week?  Because, between you and me, I’d rather include others in our little umbrella; the ladies, the parents, the kids, and yes, the casual player. Expand the definition a little.  Change our image. It won’t hurt you, I swear.

Besides, what can you possibly do about it?  You can’t march into someone’s house and dump their consoles and games because you don’t APPROVE.  You can’t wipe their Steam or Origin account (okay, some with the right skills could, but seriously why?).  You can huff and puff until the cows come home and log onto Xbox One, and at the end of the day, you really aren’t doing anything but a disservice to the rest of us.  Some of us want to change the face of gaming to include more people, and guess what?  You’re losing.

My definition of “gamer” is simple. Do you play games? Do you enjoy playing games? Do you have a favorite? Congrats, you’re a gamer.  I don’t have time in my day to play gatekeeper, and I wonder how those who do have the time to actually enjoy the hobby they are so protective of.  Trust me, for all the tanty throwing you’re doing, the rest of us are doing the calculations, AND:

From the ever delightful The Oatmeal http://theoatmeal.com/blog/number_of_fucks
From the ever delightful The Oatmeal
http://theoatmeal.com/blog/number_of_fucks

 

A “Real” Gamer