confrontation

Counter-Protesting: How Not To Fucking Help

Feminace, , ,

The issue of counter protesting at women’s clinics can be a dicey one.  Some places, like the Pink House in Mississippi, do it very fucking well, with clinic defenders at the front lines.  Others would rather that not happen, at least not during clinic hours.

I’m of the latter, I feel that having too many voices yelling would further upset and confuse patients, and it’s my job as an escort is to be very aware of the patients’ safety and comfort.  So far, among escorts, anyway, we’ve most decided to live and let live, do what works for your location, etc.

But…

BUT…

BUT…

There is a way to fuck it up.

  1. Be a white dudebro who apparently has never interacted at a clinic before.
  2. Be doing it less for the comfort and safety of the patients and more for attention.
  3. Make the goddamn escorts uncomfortable.
  4. Assault the fucking protesters.

So, Nik Stevenson (read down to the updates to see what the fucking problem is) and Nik Stevenson AKA “Judo Jesus” (yes, same guy), you’re not helping.  Go away.  Go FAR the fuck away from any clinic.

This isn’t for you.  Yes, being spat on by a protester IS assault – but if you had any understanding of how these fuckers operate, which the escorts could have happily told you if you weren’t such a fucking toolbox towards them, confrontation is WHAT THEY FUCKING WANT, especially a physical one.  They want someone to give them that sort of attention.  I don’t even want to think about the buzzing around on social media by pro-lifers about how one of their own was assaulted by one of those pro-aborts.  What you should have done, what you have the privilege of doing since you’re the not the one who either have an appointment to get to OR be an escort who is iffy about getting their name on a police report, is CALL THE POLICE.  REPORT THEIR ASSES.

Are you actually here to help patients? Obviously fucking not. So go away.  Stay away.

This is why I don’t want a bunch of angry counter-protesters showing up.  Y’all don’t know even how to act. You seem to think that just showing up and yelling at the protesters is going to do anything.

It will not. It only makes them feel more empowered. It might make you feel like you’ve done something really important, but let me assure you…YOU ARE NOT. You really want to help, show up, put on a vest, stand with us (or again, learn from groups who are already doing a fine job of C-P, like the aforementioned Pink House). Otherwise, this is more about you than the patients, and we don’t need you.

Look, if you wanna play in this game, learn the rules or stay the fuck home.

Counter-Protesting: How Not To Fucking Help
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Mashable Tries To Help

Feminace, , 2 Comments

How to confront friends who wear offensive Halloween costumes.

Not a bad list, but I feel it’s missing something.  And since I’m a helper, allow me to assist:

7. Say “What the fuck is wrong with you?” 

If you’re at the store with said friend, say it loud. If friend is showing you the costume at home, say it loud.  If they show up wearing it, say it loud every time you run into them while they’re wearing it.

Bonus help: “Accidentally” spill your drink on the costume.  Now they have to change. How helpful of you! You’ve prevented personal embarrassment of being the friend of a complete toolbox.

Mashable Tries To Help

Cry Moar, White Feminists (TM)

Feminace, , , 1 Comment

How did I miss this opinion piece on Ebony, entitled “You Ain’t the ONLY Woman: The White Cis Grasp on Womanhood Is Failing“.  Reading it made me want to raise a fan and wave it like we were at a summer revival. Praise Intersectionality! Hallelujah Actual Sisterhood! Preach that good word, Pastor Lesli-Ann Lewis, and pass the collection plate!

Especially this line:

If the White man’s burden was to bring the “savage” to civilization, then in 2015 the White woman’s burden is to teach the rest of us bumbling half-humans how to be women.

Ohh, I felt that deep in my non-existent soul!

Given the repeated historical nonsense that comes every single time White Feminism (TM) and everyone else clash, this article was wonderfully timed, even back in June.  It’s still needed.  All of the other articles addressing this is needed.  This article you’re reading right now is needed *dusts off massive ego*.  Why?

Because the same shit keep happening, y’all.  White Feminism (TM) keeps trying to hold on to the mic and hold up all the seats at the table, saving the space for only those who are like them – or who agree with them.  And the rest of us ain’t asking for space anymore.  We’re snatching the mic, we’re sitting down and they will just have to deal.

Sadly, they’re doing more whining than dealing.

White Feminism, when we say “take all of the seats”, we don’t mean “and leave no room for anyone”. You’re not the only “women” around.  Your feminism ain’t the only one in town, and if the choice is your way or the highway, we’re miles ahead of you, leaving you in a cloud of exhaust. Non-white women exist and are sitting down, trans women are sitting down, poor women are sitting down, non-college educated women are sitting the fuck down and you WILL hear us.  We will drown out your ridiculous bullshit, and you will HAVE to deal with us.

It’s kinda sad, really.  The day I read that TERFs who are lesbians believe that trans lesbians are just men who want to force their penises into ‘women’s’ spaces, it took all day to find my eyes, as they rolled out of my head.  I had another loss of eyes when I read various complaints by white women that non-white women are being mean to them when they fuck up.  The rage of reading things like “lynch mob” and “witch hunts” made finding the fuckers a lot easier.  I just felt for the burning, burning heat.

The whitewashing of the presence of minorities from history, like in Stonewall and Suffragette (really, any mention of black or Indian suffragettes?), will be pointed out and screamed about, because it’s bullshit.  Yes, being aware of history is important, but not at the cost of leaving us out.

I remember reading the memory of a 16 year old trans girl being surrounded and threatened and berated by a group of “womyn” at the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival (may it rot in pieces), and it’s the perfect analogy.  A group of marginalized people spitting venom at one person who is even more marginalized for existing.  TERFs who treat trans people like shit, who can’t even STFU when others use inclusive terms for reproductive rights, are spitting venom at a more marginalized group.

(which is ironic, given that more inclusive language is more for the benefit of trans MEN and non-binary folk with uteruses. But any reason to shit on trans women is valid, I guess)

We have white women with blogs and speaking gigs and published book and articles and shit whining and complaining about non-white women with Twitter accounts.  And THEY’RE the victims, screaming into the mic while keeping it away from the ‘horde’ of loud uncouth women who are being “rude”.

Yeah, because calling out your bullshit is so rude.  Don’t we know that we’re supposed to sit quietly and smile?

Lewis also points out the blatant hypocrisy when it comes to sexuality.  White women “explore despite the male gaze”, non-white women “cater to the male gaze”. Beyonce can pose in front of a fucking lit sign saying “FEMINIST”, be a great role model for young girls, an awesome wife and mother to a beautiful child, but because she signs about sexy things and dances sexy, oh noes, she’s not.

Don’t get me started on Nicki Minaj.  Please. We’d be here all day and I have to go save Tamriel again.

What really gets me is that while all of this is happening, White Women (TM) still claim victimhood.  Second Wavers are crying victimhood when the next gen doesn’t give them the respect they think they’re due.  Yes, they did amazing work in their time, but this ain’t their time anymore.  That’s why there’s a Third Wave, you see.  Either catch up or be left in the dust.  You’re not the fucking victims because time has changed. We are more marginalized than you.  We don’t need your help to “feminism” properly.

Cis women, you’re not the victim when trans people call you out on your bullshit. They are more marginalized than you.  They don’t need your help to “feminism” properly.

White women, you’re not the victim when non-white women call you out on your bullshit. They are more marginalized than you.  They don’t need your help to “feminism” properly.

Do I need to go on?

Say it again, Ms. Mock:

JanetMockTakeSeats

Cry Moar, White Feminists (TM)

The Angry Black Chick

Feminace, , , 2 Comments

Once upon a time, I was an Angry Black Chick.

I know, some of you are saying “You’re an ABC right the fuck now”, but hold your horses, I’m telling this story.

I did a segment on a friend’s podcast where I affected a ‘ghetto accent’ and ranted about whatever was on my mind.  It was fun back then.

I look back on it now and realized I was doing a weird version of Chill Black Girl, performing for my white friends.  I’ve since dropped that, gained more friends, lost a few and am now at times Angry, at times Disappointed, at times Disgusted, and at time Mocking.

I tire of the stereotype of the Angry Black Woman, constantly militant and on edge, ready to yell “racist” at the slightest hint of wrongdoing.  For starters, it’s an off shoot of that other pernicious stereotype, the Strong Black Woman, constantly wearing the problems on the world on her back without complaint.

Fuck, if you had to carry that much shit, wouldn’t you be just a little pissed?

Also, it tells people that we have only have a few emotions, angry being the most prominent one.  It dehumanizes us, turns us into caricatures that can be dismissed.

And now I’m gonna talk about Nicki Minaj.  Nice swerve, yeah?

I’m so-so about her music.  “Anaconda” makes me wanna dance (if you haven’t seen someone twerk with a cane, you’ve not lived), and her verses on “Monster” and “My Chick Bad” make me feel like the eldricth creature I secretly am (shhhhh, don’t tell my partner. His sanity is too delicious). “Looking Ass Niggas” is amazing and the video is too.  I’m meh with her other songs.

I appreciate her weird style, her not-so-weird style, her insistence to young girls to finish school and don’t depend on no man, her insistence on doing shit her own way.  Love her or hate her, you gotta respect that from an artist.

I also didn’t watch MTV’s VMAs last night.  That requires cable, which we don’t have and watching TV, which I don’t do. Don’t worry, I’m not one of those snobs, I just can’t deal with the medium in a way that I still can’t explain, so our lovely smart TV is used by my partner when he wants to watch Netflix and me when I want to run the Pandora app or play YouTube bird videos for the cats in the office.

But, like most TV moments I want to stay informed on, I watched the hell out of my Twitter feed, and oh boy oh boy did  it light up when Miss Minaj called out human joke Miley Cyrus upon receiving her award.  Don’t get me wrong, Miley’s done good stuff with homeless teens and all that stuff, but her bullshit on Twitter is straight up White Feminism (TM).

And Nicki was awesome for calling her out on live TV. That captured video is just magnificent.

But of course, before the show even ended, keyboards were going with the thinkpieces.  About how Nicki savaged Miley, about how Nicki was “throwing shade” (wrong terminology, if you must use it, that was a straight up call out). Once again, for defending herself, Nicki gets thrown into the same box we all get thrown into when we act even a little “out of line”: The Angry Black Woman.

For defending herself, let me say that again.

When is this shit going to stop? I know that answer.  As long as that term is used to silence us, to make us the bad guy, to make us worth not listening to (like we’re children having tantrums “not until you straighten up that attitude”), that box will always be there.

No matter what message we’re trying to convey, people, usually white people and sometimes black men, will fear our anger so much that it’s not worth listening to the message.  And that’s bullshit.

So much bullshit.

The Angry Black Chick

*sigh*

Feminace, , , , 3 Comments

Today in “shit I can’t believe I have to say”:

ATTITUDE IS NOT A CRIMINAL OFFENSE!!

Attitude will get you in trouble socially.  Attitude will get you fired.  Attitude will get you detention. Attitude will make you lose friends and gain enemies.

But it is not a crime. For too damned long, it’s been treated like a crime, though.

Recent case in point, the murder of Sandra Bland.  Now there’s video (that may or may not have been edited).  I’m not going to link to the video here, if you haven’t seen it yet, you can make use of the search engine of your choice.  Personally I tire of seeing Black death at police hands broadcast over and over.

According to the video, she was asked to put out her cigarette.  Not a lawful order, she didn’t have to obey. She asked repeatedly what she was being arrested for, and received no answer.  She stated that she couldn’t wait to sue, which is not a crime.  She outright stated that she had epilepsy, and the cop didn’t give a shit (I could write about how dangerous it is to be Black and disabled and having to deal with cops in this society, but that will have to wait for another day).

He didn’t care.  He didn’t get the respect he thought he deserved, and she paid the  price.

Yes, she coped an attitude.  Still not a crime.  But as we see over and over and over again, cops love to treat it like it is.  They act as if someone disrespecting their authority (insert Cartman impression here) is a crime to be punished from a beating up to death.  You know what other organizations treat disrespect as a lethal offense?

Gangs.

We have cops acting like stereotypical gang bangers, walking around openly armed and expecting the people to cower in fear of them and never say a bad word about or to them.  And that’s some bullshit.

What’s worse is that people actually play along with this shit.  We have people claiming that is Ms. Bland had just quietly complied with the cops unlawful and unreasonable requests, she would be alive today.  That coping an attitude with a cops is grounds for a beatdown, to be treated like a criminal when no crime had be committed.  Bow you head, say ‘yes sir/ma’am” and “No sir/ma’am”, don’t make trouble, don’t stand up for yourself.  It’ll be over sooner if you just behave.

And to that I say, Oh Hell Naw.

People get all up in their feelings when we talk shit about cops?  “Being a cops is so hard”, they say. “It’s the most dangerous job out there”, they say.  First of all, it’s not – ask an oil rigger who’s more likely to bite it on duty. Second of all, of course it’s a hard fucking job (so is being a brain surgeon or an air traffic controller).   That doesn’t give anybody license to act like damn fools with huge egos. The point is, they’re not special and we should stop treating them as such when one of them fucks up.

It’s time for the cops to get a goddamn reality check.  You have been given your authority by the People, and they are the ones you need to damn well respect.  I don’t care how many shit talking law enforcement agents you see on TV, here in the real world, giving you a “disrespectful look” ain’t a fucking crime.  It is your job, your duty, to be more responsible than the average citizen, because you have the authority to kill a motherfucker (and get away with it).  Do I need to quote Uncle Ben here?  “With Great Power Also Comes Great Responsibility”?

That mean, yes, if a clerk at a retail shop can’t punch a mean and nasty customer in the face, you can’t either.  Yes, even if they ran and made you run and catch them and you’re pissed off.  Yes, even if they called your momma everything but a child of god.  Yes, even if they make a pig and/or doughnut crack at you.  That means each and every time you strike a perp with hand or baton, you need to be held accountable (frankly, I think if you have to hit a motherfucker that ain’t tried to hit you first, that should be an instant investigation).  That means each and every bullet you fire needs to be held accountable.  That means every time you’re seen acting a fool, you get disciplined. That means remembering that yes, YOU CAN BE RECORDED ON DUTY (like a lot of other people with jobs have to put up with), so you better act right each and every time you go on duty.  We don’t want perfection, we want accountability.  We want to trust you again, and we can’t if we’re scared that the cop coming out of his car is going to be Officer Friendly or Deputy “Got Something to Prove”.

You want to improve the way we see cops?  Make them more accountable.  Toss out the heavy handed motherfuckers, the blatant racists, the homo/transphobes, the ones with a rap sheet full of complaints.  They are supposed to be serving the people, ALL OF THEM, and they damn well can’t if they’re bigots.  Take the wrongful death settlements out of their pension fund, make them feel the burn of each and every wrongdoer.  Stop punishing whistleblowers who are trying to do the right thing by exposing bullshit. Train your people on how to deal with all members of society with respect, including the disabled. END THE WAR ON DRUGS and the fucked up incentives to punish addicts just to fill the town’s “too fucked up to raise taxes” coffers.

I could go on forever, but I think it’s a start.

*sigh*

A Prescription from Dr. Feminace, PH.D of Done With This Shit

Feminace, , 2 Comments

(This was a Facebook post I did a few days ago, edited for your reading pleasure)

This moment of education is brought to you by a moment’s ire while trying to relax and save Thedas.
Look, ‪#‎SouthernLivesMatter‬ and ‪#‎BlueLivesMatter‬ and ‪#‎WhiteLivesMatter‬, here’s some seats. You need to take all of them. Consider it a prescription from Dr. Feminace.

(other campaigns that focus on actual marginalized groups – #nativelivesmatter and the like, are of course exempt from this ‘script. *raises solidarity fist*)

You’re missing the point so hard that you can’t catch a fucking clue with clue bait, a clue hunting rifle and covered in clue pee in the middle of clue hunting season. So you have to copy an effective campaign and try to look clever when you might as fucking well just use ‪#‎notallwhites‬, ‪#‎whataboutus‬, and ‪#‎imacluelesspieceofshit‬

Why do we say “BlackLivesMatter”? Because, if you bothered looking at the news longer than the latest ZOMG new story of someone getting shot by the cops, it’s bloody obvious that black lives don’t matter. If someone shoots and/or kills a cop, people go out of their fucking way to celebrate their lives, to mourn, to pull up happy pictures of good time, and (most importantly) to find the fuck what shot/killed them. Hell, people do the same thing when POLICE DOGS are hurt in the line of duty.

On the other hand, black victims do not even get the courtesy. Let’s look at that video of the cop throwing down a 14 year old girl while she screams for her mother over and over again. That black male that was shot two seconds after the cops stopped was obvious a dangerous 20 years old man with a really real gun instead of a little boy with a fake one playing in the park. Did that dead black guy have a criminal record that had fuck all to do with his murder? Any pictures of them holding their hands up a way that we can call a gang sign? Say, maybe they had weed in their system. You know how wild and violent they get when they’ve had their pot. So scary.  Shoot/harm first, ask questions later, if not never.

White killers get more sympathetic press than black victims.
Killer cops fucking up at their job get more sympathetic press than black victims.
ANIMALS get more sympathetic press than black victims.

That is what we are talking about when we say “black lives matter”, because it’s fucking obvious that they don’t in our society. Do you fucking get it now? It’s not about hating cops or white people or Southerns or what the fuck ever.  It’s a cry for help, a cry for attention (the right sort, the sort that requires change in our society), and it’s only getting louder.

But you can’t deal with that reality, can you? The press caters to your narrow-minded view of us, leaving you capable of calling our rage “stupid” and whining when we put our protests in your face so you CAN’T ignore our presence. You wag your fingers at us, but remain silent when your token Black friends express their feelings, then turn around and repost/reTweet racism memes that you and your White friends can nod their heads about.  You easily ignore our pain – and that is what copying that slogan is. Hide your lack of empathy by whining like petulant children upset that a sibling got a piece of a cookie compared to their whole one. Even if that sibling has been locked in a basement and beaten most of their life. Even if that sibling made the fucking cookies in the first place.

Because who cares, you’re not getting the attention right now. You’re scared and trying to make shit about you so you feel better. You try to co-opt movements because you need to not think about anything but yourselves (or have a single original thought, for fuck’s sake), because empathy is oh so hard, and you might have to work on seeing us as humans like you, and we see you.

Oh, we see you.

…okay, back to sweet talking Solas. I feel better getting that out.

A Prescription from Dr. Feminace, PH.D of Done With This Shit

Feminace’s Suggestions for not Getting your Ass Handed to You Online

Feminace2 Comments

Hello cats and kittens, class is in.

Let’s say I’m in meatspace. And there are people having a conversation within earshot about sweet potatoes. How yummy they are, different types, different preparations, etc.

I hate sweet potatoes*. Would it be a good idea for me to walk over to that conversation and inform them that I think the thing they are talking about is silly/bad/wrong because I hate sweet potatoes and they’re gross and yuck.

Wouldn’t that be considered rude?

What is the difference between that and doing this online:

“Wow, One Direction is awesome!”
“Yeah, I love their music”
“The boys are so cute”
“This band is dumb! Why do you even bother listening!”

Or this:

“Look at this pictures of large women freely wearing bikinis!”
“They look awesome and brave”
“I need to know where she got this one!”
“Gross! I couldn’t get past the first picture!”

Or *sigh* even this:

“Good on those Native actors for walking off that shitty Adam Sandler movie set”
“Did you see that screenshot of part of the script? How is that funny?”
“You mean a Sandler movie’s using lazy sterotypes of an already marginized group? Say it ain’t so!”
“I don’t get what the big deal is. If people don’t like it, then don’t see it!”

See? First of all, you either just harshed someone squee or have made a demand for them to justify themselves to you (and seriously, who the fuck are you?).  Secondly, you’re trying to make this conversation now about you.

So if, you know, people tell you to fuck right off, do you really have cause to wave your burned ass around, or complain that you’re “not allowed to have a dissenting opinion” when those who were speak rightfully pile on?

I want to help you, so here is a strong suggestion: Shutting the fuck up is always an option.**

No matter what.  Food, music, social justice issues, the newest fad app.  It can apply to damn near everything! Just because you have the ability to comment on damn near anything online does not mean you have to.

And this only applies when your opinion is the equivalent of “ew! I don’t like it!” or “explain yourself to me now”.  I’m not a fan of trying to educate in spaces where I’m totally outnumbered, but some have that fortitude and go them.  But for the most part, make it easier on yourself.

I’m just saying, if you’re gonna say something, Say Something.  Make it count. Add to the conversation. Don’t make people take time and energy to deal with you. That is a hell of a lot more rude that any ‘angry cuss words’ I’ve ever heard.

Class is dismissed.

*No, this is not an invitation to inquire of ways I’ve tried sweet potatoes or suggest different recipes. I’m a grown-up and I get to Not Like Things.  I swear, food is almost like sex, if people have decided they don’t like a certain thing, people will come out of the fucking woodwork to either A. act as if my dislike is a personal attack or B. make unasked for suggestions to “help”.  But that is a rant for another post.

**If you are some combination of white, male, straight, and/or cis, tattoo that shit on both your hands, so you can see it before you start typing.

Feminace’s Suggestions for not Getting your Ass Handed to You Online

Privilege Tourism: Our Lives are NOT Social Experiments!!

Feminace, 2 Comments

Dear sweet baby Jesus in a cradle up a tree, I am done, done, DONE with people of privilege donning the costume and trappings of marginalized people’s situations and being treated as ‘brave’ or someone we ought to respect because ‘OMG, they totally know what it’s like now!”

I’ma put this bit in bold so you understand: NO YOU GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING DON’T!

No, living like you’re on food stamps for a week isn’t “knowing what it’s like”.

No, wearing a hijab for Lent isn’t “knowing what it’s like”

No, binding your boobs and “be a trans guy for a day” isn’t “knowing what it’s like”.

No, wearing a fat suit for a day isn’t “knowing what it’s like”.

This is privilege tourism, a brief visit to get just a taste. Then you come back and talk as if you know damn near everything about the place, when you’ve only seen the highlights.

You wanna know what it’s like to be poor, a hijabi, transgendered, or fat?  Let me make a strong suggestion: Listen to people who are poor, a hijabi, transgendered, and fat.

They are out there.  Some have already placed their experiences in easy to read and possibly understand formats that are just one search on your search engine of choice away.  You can read them.  You can open up your brain past your own damned experiences and LEARN.

LEARN without embarrassing yourself and offending those who can’t take off the ‘costume’ at the end of the experiment.

Let go of this concept that the only way to learn is to walk in someone’s shoes, that the only way you can process another’s world is through you own eyes.  There are some shoes you will never walk in, and there are some shoes you really shouldn’t try to walk in. You can express empathy and understanding by listening and learning from those who walk that path every damned day of their lives.

And you can help, actually help, but elevating those voices, especially if you have an audience (*ahem*Gwyneth*ahem*). Those voices need to be heard a lot more than your twisted attempt at empathy that comes off as another fucking vanity project.

If anything, it might even save you from the righteous anger of those who have every fucking right to be angry at yet another tourist taking a cruise through their lives.

Privilege Tourism: Our Lives are NOT Social Experiments!!

How to Be the Perfect Welfare Recipient

Feminace, , , 8 Comments

(Quick little blogger’s edit: If you think I’m going to allow your tired ass, shamey, or deliberately ignorant comments to see the light of day, think again.  If it’s trash, it goes in the trash. I’m not hosting a debate here.)

Hello, Dear Taxpayer:

Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to speak too loudly.  Should I stand to the side?  I wouldn’t want to take up too much room.

I *ahem* receive welfare, and I feel terrible about it. I don’t make enough money to support myself, so I have to steal yours to make ends meet.  I’m sorry.  So very sorry.  

Every day I sit at home and think with gratitude about how you other hardworking Americans work long days to earn me my pittance.  I wouldn’t want to go outside and have you see me.  I wouldn’t want you to know I exist.

Oh wait? You want me to get a job?  Alright.  I’m so sorry, but the wages are so low that I have to beg for a little of your money still.  I’m so, so sorry! Please forgive me!

When I shop, I do it carefully.  I wouldn’t want to mismanage the money you gave me.  Do I buy prepacked processed food and seem wasteful, or do I buy fresh cuts of meats and veggies and good stuff and look frivolous? Please, Dear Taxpayer, tell me what I should buy to make you less angry about my thievery of your precious tax dollars. 

The things I buy with the cash benefit (I’m sorry! I need more money to spend on things that aren’t food!  Please don’t hate me) are simple and basic.  No name brands.  I’m sorry, is that not good enough? How about Dollar Store brands?  Nope, nothing that might not fall apart or break within months for me.  Thrift store outfits all the way.  I wouldn’t want to look too rich in your sight.

Joys?  I have no joy.  I am poor.  I do not deserve joy.  Occasionally eating outside of the house?  Why would I waste your money like that?  Gifts from friends and family who are doing better than me?  Nope, I won’t accept a single one because I am poor and do not wish to be seen with something that is “too good’ for the likes of me.  All of the nice things I may have owned before I needed to put my hands in your hardworking pockets?  Gone.  I threw them all away.  Any children I may have foolishly had while on poor? Gone. A temporal vortex swallowed them the second I applied for benefits.  What was I doing having sex while poor anyway? When you see me, I want you see someone who looks as poor as you think I should.  What choices should I make for my life, Dear Taxpayer?  Please tell me.

Because it’s all about you, Dear Taxpayer.

Hold please, urge to barf passing.

Now that we’re back to me, where the fuck do people get off trying to talk about welfare while knowing fuck all about it? Seriously.  I’ve been in several Facebook “discussions” in the past three days about government assistance and it’s like Groundhog Day minus Bill Murray and less funny.

So, allow me to tackle some of those shit excuses for arguments here, where I can be an uncivil as I please:

“I grew up poor and lifted myself up by my own bootstraps and so should everyone else!”

– You want a cookie or something? Congratulations, you’re better than everyone, you special snowflake you.  Now what will we do with those who aren’t as super-dee-duper awesome as you are?

“People shouldn’t have kids they can’t afford!”

– Mm-mmm that’s some good Just World fallacy! Now, what exactly should we do for the kids born to people you disapprove of that are alive right now? Also, telling people not to fuck has never and will never work.

“People are selling their food stamps for drug money!”

“People live their entire lives on welfare!” 

“Illegals get welfare all the time!”

– I’m just gonna lump all of these into the “Hi, I’m stuck in the 80s.” Update your bullshit, please. Also, and I’m gonna put this in bold and all caps: SNAP IS FOR FOOD.  ONLY. Stop saying otherwise, you ignorant shits.

“Welfare is so easy to get!”

– Says someone who has never had to sign up for it.  Bank statements, paychecks, royalty statements, landlord statements, copies of utilities, the personal information of every person you live with, whether they are getting the benes with you or not. And that’s just to sign up.  Then you have to cough it up again every six months.  You can’t work too many hours or you lose it.  You can’t get married (if you’re broke and your intended isn’t), or you lose it.

Tell me again how easy it is?

“I saw someone use an EBT card and they had an iPhone/a nice purse/a tattoo/new shoes/a nice weave/something I don’t think they deserve!”

– First of all, fuck you for trying to judge based on one look. Maybe it hasn’t dawned onto you, but people in cooperative societies manage to get their needs met in a lot of different ways.  Maybe they had that fancy object before they got poor.  Maybe they got it for free with one of those “sign your soul over” data plans.  Maybe the purse is a knockoff, or traded babysitting or something for someone to fix their hair/do their nails (oh, and nice racist dogwhistle, btw).  Maybe that tattoo is getting paid in installments.

Or maybe, and this might hurt your feelings, but I don’t give a shit, when that cash assistance money hits their account, it’s none of your fucking business how they spend it.  Does your boss have a say in how you spend your check?

I know, I know, “But I earned my money.  Poors didn’t earn theirs!”

And? The state, the social worker who had more access to their financials than your nosy ass does decided on the amount to give, not you.  It’s their money.  As long as they’re not breaking any of the rules attached to it, they can spend it however the fuck they want.  Basic household supplies, clothes and shoes, make up, a nice aftershave, a cup of fancy coffee, a .99 phone app, whatever.  It is ours to save or spend.

Poor people aren’t some cast offs living where needs above food, clothing and shelter are different.  Not making enough to make ends meet doesn’t mean we check out of all the good parts of being human.  I’ve heard people piss and moan about seeing someone using SNAP for a birthday cake for a child.

A motherfucking birthday cake for a kid.

Because being poor apparently means you get no joy (and being born to a poor family means you’re just shit out of luck).  No temporary comfort.  Nothing that makes you feed good in a world that is shit and even more so when you apparently are too poor to exist without some ignorant motherfucker peeping in your shopping cart for shit your not “supposed” to have.

There is nothing easy about being poor. If you think otherwise, you try it.  If that’s too scary for you, then climb the fuck off our backs.

How to Be the Perfect Welfare Recipient

Femi’s Rules for Protesters (based on today’s tweets)

Feminace, , , , ,

So our merry band of morons have been more pushy considering the property line they are not supposed to cross.  Because Screw the Rules, I have Jesus.

“Good morning.  That is the first and last time you will hear that from me, so savor it.  Here we go:

Rule one: If you are an adult, I don’t like you.  I don’t care if you say that you “love me”; that’s creepy and you don’t know me.  I don’t care if your God loves me.  As a matter of fact, if you feel the need to tell me that, like you have the express line to God, I don’t like you even more.

Rule one point one: If you’re a kid and you’re here, I feel sorry for you.  There are better ways to spend a Saturday morning than being dragged to a clinic to wander with signs near pictures of medical waste.  Like the park near the clinic.

Rule two: Become familiar with the property line.  Tell your newbies.  Ignorance is no longer an excuse.  I WILL call the cops on your ass.

Rule three: We don’t have to talk to you.  For any reason.

Rule four: We can talk to anyone we want.  Deal.

Rule five: Don’t fucking LIE to us.  If you’re a protester, we’ll figure it the fuck out. We talk to each other.  We talk to our security guy.  The fucking ninth commandment?  Your rules. Not mine.

Rule Six: You are creepy, young or old.  If you bothered to think about it for five seconds, you would get that.  Complete strangers don’t owe you information about their bodies or medical condition.  Not that you would care.  I heard a woman was on the floor bawling after you dismissed her telling you her fetus’ lungs weren’t working.  You are shit.  Actually, let me make that a rule:

Rule Seven: You are shit.  The very thing you are doing is shitty and you are shit.  This is why you get the disdain you whine about.  But hey, that’s what gets you people going, I know.  You don’t give a fuck about babies, you just wanna get decent people pissed off so you can go home and wank (figuratively and/or literally) about how persecuted you are. We know your game.

Femi’s Rules for Protesters (based on today’s tweets)