Needle to the Dick = No Babies

Good news, everyone!

You just read that with Prof. Farnsworth’s voice!

Also, the experimental birth control injection for penises, Vasalgel, has passed the rabbit test. That means, hopefully, they’ll move up the mammal chain and start testing it on humans soonish (or as soon as they figure out how to remove it).

I hope.

You know why I hope?

Because I want to see cis men (who aren’t needlephobic in general) TRY to complain about having to get a shot to the cock. I really do.  I want to see them complain to anyone who is currently on invasive birth control.  I say invasive, because taking a pill or slipping in a Nuva Ring or applying a patch is a different level of uncomfortable.

Especially if you get a bad reaction to any of them.

I’m talking IUDs and Depo and the ones that gets implanted in your arm and so on. Try dudes, TRY to complain about one shot to the dick. We who are already on this shit can tell you stories.  I can tell you how my legs went tingly and then numb when the IUD was shoved into my cervix. I looked at the ceiling and was like, “I can’t believe people do the opposite all the damn time. In is painful, out must be torture.”

(For the record, IUD removal isn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be.  I had to get mine taken out because it was trying to take a sightseeing tour of my uterus. FUN!)

But seriously, if everyone on birth control right now had to go through some serious pain and/or discomfort and/or side effects to keep from getting preggers, you can handle a needle in the dick.  Trust.

Now let’s hope removal is possible so this show can finally get on the road.

Needle to the Dick = No Babies
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Journalists Need To Do Their Jobs

By now, I’m sure anyone reading these words has heard of the unreal as fuck case of the black behavioral therapist getting shot while trying to protect his Latino autistic patient.  Unreal, I say, just unreal.  Dude was on his back, hands up, stating who he was and what was going on.

How more “I’m harmless” did this man have to be? Unconscious?

And the police department has been doling out excuses like that was their job (and let’s face it, it is). Dude asked at the moment why he was shot, and the cop said “I don’t know”.

Then they tell us that the cop was aiming at dude’s patient.  Because that’s gonna sound sooo much better.  “I wasn’t aiming for the black guy, I was aiming for the Latino sitting down with a toy truck not bothering nobody.”  Damn, Officer Trigger Happy, you’re one shit shot.

And now, Officer Take Away His Guns Please has made a statement.  He claims that he “did what he had to do”.

“I took this job to save lives and help people,” the officer said in a statement released Thursday by the union. “I did what I had to do in a split second to accomplish that and hate to hear others paint me as something I’m not.”

Let that sit in your mind for a moment.  Swirl it around if it helps, just don’t get dizzy or give yourself a migraine. He made a split second decision and shot the wrong man.  Fuck, he had the situation all wrong as well, because neither one of these men deserved a bullet.

And it still doesn’t explain why he handcuffed the bleeding, wounded, innocent man he’d just shot, treating him like a damn criminal.  Was that something he “had to do”, too.

I see he hates being painted as something he’s not.  My tiny violin is broken, so fuck him. Right now I’m painting your ass as an incompetent boob with some ingrained racist tendencies (and don’t get smart. I know the cop is Hispanic).  My own boobs are more competent, and they can’t even hold a gun.

But here’s something I’ma need journalists to do; ask questions.  Ask more questions.  Ask for explanations and don’t stop until you get them.  He wrote that he did “did what he had to do”.  What did he have to do? Did he listen to Mr. Kinsey? Was he told that the object in the patient’s hand wasn’t a fucking gun? Why did he handcuff Mr. Kinsey? Why did he say “I don’t know” to an innocent man he’d just shot?

Don’t just regurgitate what the Department is giving you, get deeper into that shit. Not just in police shootings, but everywhere.  It’s still election season.  That homophobic politician just claimed to have gay friends.  Ask about them.  Same with racists who have BLANK friends.  Ask why did the fucking cops leave someone they shot on the ground for hours? Didn’t they think to radio for medical help?  Are we supposed to be comfortable with that, knowing that a cop can just let you die because they think you guilty of something?

Mainstream journalists need to dig deeper.  No wonder they’re losing out to all of the Internet. Less of this weaksauce ‘reporting’ and more actual journalism. Just think of the scoop you could get by interviewing that ‘phobic politician’s gay friend.  Just think of look on the police union officer’s face as they have to decide to answer that common sense question, and look foolish, or skip it, and look even more foolish. It would be awesome!

Fuck, I might even start paying attention to the news on TV.

Journalists Need To Do Their Jobs

Frivolous Friday: Riffing on Tweets

About that “responses to whiny white guys” post I made last week…

I got responses.  Someone posted one of the *ahem* gentlemen featured on the video, which he retweeted, and I got a bump in notifications.  It wasn’t a big deal, I wasn’t hounded, I blocked and muted most of them.

But not before getting screenshots of the funniest ones.  See, I have no desire to have a back and forth with the unreasonable or with people who are pretty embedded in their opinion. It’s a waste of time, and I’m not a very persuasive and I don’t debate well.

So I’d rather mock and block, or in this case block then mock. Here are some choice Tweets I collected from the day after that blog was posted:

Continue reading “Frivolous Friday: Riffing on Tweets”

Frivolous Friday: Riffing on Tweets

#nerobannedparty Time!

So after the hot garbage fire that was Twitter’s underbelly driving away Ghostbusters star and SNL cast member Leslie Jones off the platform, Twitter was lit the fuck up with people demanding the staff Do Something about the damn hot garbage fire and the one who started it.

One of the hottest most trash dumpsterest fire of them all, Milo “Aryan Youth Blond ‘Do” Yiannopoulos.  They threw his ass off, permanently.

Since then the hashtag #nerbannedparty has been making the rounds, to my ever loving delight.  But, while I’m delighting, it’s not enough.

Twitter, we shouldn’t have to bombard you every time a hot garbage fire of harassment chases someone off your platform.  For all your talk about Doing Something about this shit, you ain’t done enough shit. Judgey Bitch, banned, still pops up with a new moniker.  Notorious fake goth Cathy Brennan has gone through HOW many Twitter handles? People are still getting their mentions blown the fuck up with nonsense.

You’ve proven you can do this.  Now keep doing it. Show us that you give even a smidgen of a fuck about keeping your platform from becoming a total and complete shitshow. Users shouldn’t have to create things like Block Bot to keep themselves and those of like mind safe.  People, celebrities or non-celebrities, shouldn’t have to suffer a torrent of abuse with no way to get help.  It’s unacceptable.

As for the lovely and funny Ms. Leslie, might I suggest turning this mess into a sketch for next Saturday? Which one of your white male cohosts would look decent in a bright blonde wig?

 

Photo by clasesdeperiodismo

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#nerobannedparty Time!

How to Get White People More Concerned About Gun Control?

Get black people to show up openly carrying.

Continue reading “How to Get White People More Concerned About Gun Control?”

How to Get White People More Concerned About Gun Control?

Frivolous Friday – Stuff I Make While Very Depressed

Weird thing.  Whenever I’m in a dip in mood – this one has been months long, I get the urge to do SOMETHING with my hands.

Not that, you pervs.

Continue reading “Frivolous Friday – Stuff I Make While Very Depressed”

Frivolous Friday – Stuff I Make While Very Depressed

A Bunch of Snarky Answers to “Questions from White Men to SJWs”

(EDITED TITLE BECAUSE WHERE THE FUCK DID I GET 31 FROM? I DUNNO)

Because I don’t want to give the video itself clicks (the cover picture looks like a direct reference to a dear friend who has suffered from harassment that ended up making her sick), here’s a response by Kevin Logan to that video where he just plays the audio.

Continue reading “A Bunch of Snarky Answers to “Questions from White Men to SJWs””

A Bunch of Snarky Answers to “Questions from White Men to SJWs”

A Biased Timeline of Events – The Amazing Atheist’s Racism

There will be a bias, of course, because I’m black, and I’m an atheist, and I can’t stand the fucker.  Understand?

Continue reading “A Biased Timeline of Events – The Amazing Atheist’s Racism”

A Biased Timeline of Events – The Amazing Atheist’s Racism