Excuses For Assault

CN for the obvious subject matter

Seems like every time the Facebook page The Kinfolk Kollective posts something about how bad child abuse is in the black community, the pro-spankers come out of the woodwork to talk about how okay it is.

Now I’ve ranted about this before, but what’s killing me are the excuses.  The excuses are just mindblowing and sad and infuriating and sickening at the same time:

“There’s a difference between a swat on the butt and a spanking!”

NO. THERE. ISN’T. You’re hitting a child.

You
ARE
HITTING
A
CHILD

Youarehittingachild

No matter how you slice it, you’re hitting a child.  There IS no difference.

“Some kids just need to be beat”

Whoa.  Whoa.  WHOA. Hold on there. Listen:
“Some partners just need to be beat”
“Some employees just need to be beat”
“Some dogs just need to be beat.”

If those statement made you sick, and putting the word “Kid” in its place doesn’t, what the fuck is wrong with you?

“I was spanked and I deserved it.”

I’m so sorry that this is the way you have chosen to cope with the violence done upon you. Also, how many times did it take before you were compliant.  How did it feel to fear those who were raising you?

“Why don’t you mind your own business.”

Once those kids leave your house, they’re everyone’s business. Their anger, their sadness, how they process what happened to them makes a difference, not just to this generation, but the next.

“How about I mail my kids over to you?”

Way to admit that you can’t control your own damn kids without resorting to violence.

“I beat them now so they cops don’t beat them later!”

Somehow I doubt any cop evil enough to harm someone is gonna ask if that someone was spanked or not.

“All these kids running around being mouthy need a spanking.”

What the fuck makes you think they’re not being spanked already? Citation mother fucking needed.

 

Spanking/whooping/popping whatever you want to call it is lazy parenting at best and just a way to get your own anger out at the worst. It is past time Black people stop using this slave age bullshit to turn children who behave like children into obedient little slaves.

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Excuses For Assault

6 thoughts on “Excuses For Assault

  1. 1

    Never hit either of my kids . . . never needed to, never thought it would send a message I want to send, not the relationship I want with my kids.

    Never hit my wife. That’s not the way people of equal dignity should relate to one another, and we are all of equal dignity until we prove ourselves unworthy by disrespecting others. What disrespect could be worse than hitting someone?

    Haven’t hit another human being ever, at least not that I can remember. I don’t want to live in a society where my position depends on my ability to hurt others.

    If you have to put your hands on somebody, you are wrong. It doesn’t matter what led up to it, how wrong the other person is. When you hit them, you are the lesser person, you are wrong.

    Not black myself, I can’t say how prevalent corporal punishment is in black households. I know it’s too common in any household it occurs in.

    1. 1.1

      “If you have to put your hands on somebody, you are wrong. It doesn’t matter what led up to it, how wrong the other person is. When you hit them, you are the lesser person, you are wrong.”

      In general, I agree, but I’d add that if someone is putting hands on you, you have the right to defend yourself.

      1. Yes, I fully support defending yourself, which is why I would LOVE for these poor kids to pop their parents in the mouth while they’re attempting to “discipline” them.

  2. 2

    I’m white; my experiences are not your experiences. I was never spanked. I’m 56 years old and have no children. I have met a number of friends and co-workers who managed to raise happy, healthy, reasonably cooperative children without spanking.

    When I suggest to members of my extended in-law family (also white) that spanking isn’t necessary, they are AGHAST. Of COURSE it is. All kids need a swat occasionally. Was I really not spanked, or was that just a story my mother told? (Mother-in-law was fascinated and repulsed by this notion.) I’m told that if I only had children of my own, I’d understand.

    I offer this only to suggest that if spanking children is really ingrained in the family’s internal culture, it can be REALLY hard to convince parents not to spank.

  3. 3

    As a person who was spanked as a child, I started parenting thinking that a compliance/punishment approach was completely natural. The odd psychological part of this is how frustration over noncompliance and a lack of the effectiveness of spanking just lead to further anger, aggressiveness and frustration even in otherwise peaceful people.

    So I stopped. Remember that parents, you can always stop, apologise to your kids, let them feel safe and try to repair what damage you’ve done by being a better parent in the future. If it’s not right to hit an adult, it’s not right to hit a kid.

    So yes this is a significant problem, and mouthy/spoilt youngsters may have bad parents but not because they didn’t hit them, there’s plenty more to get wrong as a parent.

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