I mean, it’s part of The Onion, so of course it did, but this is good:
So heartwarming! My heart is so warm. I think it might be the wasabi I had with my grocery store sushi, but my heart is very warm.
On the serious tip, why do we celebrate with cops engage with their communities in a positive way? That’s kind of their job.
“Starbucks employee makes and delivers Frappiccino without throwing it at customer’s head.”
“Local Postman delivers mail and doesn’t use it to wipe his ass.”
“Comedian tells jokes and doesn’t leave the audience crying.”
I mean, where are the excited news headlines about these folks doing their jobs. Cops doing their job isn’t news. It shouldn’t be news, anyway. I don’t need to know that “some cops are actually good”, I need to know about the ones that fuck up. We can’t keep them accountable otherwise.
Oh yeah, one more thing: Fake traffic stops are bullshit. No, I’m not crying because Officer Fuckface stopped me to hand over some ice cream; I’m crying out of relief that I will live through this stop. Stop scaring the shit out of people with this bullshit. It doesn’t help.
No really, it’s unhelpful. You want to improve your standing with the community? START HOLDING THE FUCK UPS RESPONSIBLE.
But I guess buying ice cream is much easier.