New Contender For Most Punchable Face

Martin Shkreli held the title for so long that it was due a changeover.

Content Warning: Rape, with some descriptions.

This MPF is so punchable, I refuse to link to an article, because finding an article always has his face on it. I’m tired of seeing it over and over, some yearbook pic instead of the mugshot that is far more appropriate when someone has committed a fucking crime.  And I would rather not see it again because I might attempt to punch the screen, and this is a really nice monitor.

This person goes by the name of Brock Turner, and he raped a woman. Said woman was blackout drunk when two bicyclists found Brock humping up against her and held him until the cops arrived. Open and shut case, yeah?

This person was tried and convicted and sentenced to, get this, 6 months in jail. For a rape.

A rape.

Three felonies, to be exact.

Six months.

Well, he’ll also have to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life, but seriously, only 6 months in actual jail?

Why? Because the judge believed that a longer sentence would have a “severe impact” on him. Yeah, poor rapist. Being punished for his crime would hurt him SOOOO much.

The victim, known as Emily Doe, read a very poignant victim statement that gave all of the details of her assault and recovery and her disappointment with the sentence:

The probation officer factored in that the defendant is youthful and has no prior convictions. In my opinion, he is old enough to know what he did was wrong. When you are eighteen in this country you can go to war. When you are nineteen, you are old enough to pay the consequences for attempting to rape someone. He is young, but he is old enough to know better.

As this is a first offense I can see where leniency would beckon. On the other hand, as a society, we cannot forgive everyone’s first sexual assault or digital rape. It doesn’t make sense. The seriousness of rape has to be communicated clearly, we should not create a culture that suggests we learn that rape is wrong through trial and error. The consequences of sexual assault needs to be severe enough that people feel enough fear to exercise good judgment even if they are drunk, severe enough to be preventative. The fact that Brock was a star athlete at a prestigious university should not be seen as an entitlement to leniency, but as an opportunity to send a strong cultural message that sexual assault is against the law regardless of social class.

The probation officer weighed the fact that he has surrendered a hard earned swimming scholarship. If I had been sexually assaulted by an un-athletic guy from a community college, what would his sentence be? If a first time offender from an underprivileged background was accused of three felonies and displayed no accountability for his actions other than drinking, what would his sentence be? How fast he swims does not lessen the impact of what happened to me.

The Probation Officer has stated that this case, when compared to other crimes of similar nature, may be considered less serious due to the defendant’s level of intoxication. It felt serious.

Oh, I forgot to mention that he had a scholarship for swimming at some big fancy college, because frankly I don’t give even a molecule of a fuck. This person apparently hasn’t gotten the memo that what he did was wrong, and wants to start a program warning other college students about the dangers of alcohol and promiscuity.

Yes, because rape is all about getting drunk and fucking a lot.

This cluelessness is not legit. As you can see here in this statement from this person’s father, the entitled jackhole apple did not fall far from the tree:


I could spend so much time ripping this statement apart, but note the underlined bit.  “20 minutes of action”.

That is what the whole issue is to this person’s father. “20 minutes of action”. Not a rape.  “Action”.

Frankly sir, if Junior could only get “action” from fingering and then humping a blacked out woman behind a dumpster, I’d be ashamed to have a son that pathetic. I mean, jeez, you never talked to him about how sex works? if you’re gonna do the deed, at least TRY to make it good for your partner.

Which would require said partner to be awake and consenting, you ass. Yes, even if you’re were both drunk.  Drunk mutually consenting sex is a thing.

Binge drinking didn’t rape Emily Doe.

Sexual Promiscuity didn’t rape Emily Doe.

Your son raped Emily Doe, and your plea for mercy over 6 fucking months of jail is so mind-blowing that I have chunks of brain on the walls, my desk, and my cat.

I don’t give two shits if he’s all depressed.  He should be. Rapists SHOULD feel depressed at how low of a creature they are.  I’m currently in a depressive spiral myself, and I would happily give this mood to him to suffer.

So, fuck this poor excuse for a father, fuck the poor excuse for a judge that gave this bullshit under-sentence, and fuck this PERSON!


**Fill free to replace the italicized “person”s with “Grinning All American cornfed corny-ass looking rapist fuckface”.  



New Contender For Most Punchable Face
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5 thoughts on “New Contender For Most Punchable Face

  1. 2

    There are a lot of things that bother me about the offender’s actions and the sentence he got. The fact that he still doesn’t seem to recognize the difference between promiscuity and rape seems to show that he still hasn’t figured out that consent matters. Promiscuous people who respect the boundaries of others are no threat. People who don’t respect boundaries can be seriously dangerous. If he wanted to teach young people that empathy and respect for others are important I might think he had learned something meaningful. He’s depressed. How sad. His victim is depressed too, and she didn’t rape anyone.

    Even with all his privilege, having to register as a sex offender is a gift that will keep on giving, and for that I shed no tears.

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