A “Real” Gamer

(I did a thing on Facebook, and I thought it funny enough to share with all of you.  Aren’t you lucky?)


Hello, my name is Feminace and I play video games on Causal mode.

“Because I want to.”
“But you’re not playing the games right.”
“Did you pay for my copy?”
“Then have this box of fucks. Note that it is empty.”
“Don’t you want to be challenged?”
“Dude, I’m a fat black disabled woman. Real life is challenging ENOUGH. Let me lay back, cast spells, kiss elves (or “shoot rifles, kiss Marines“) and be happy, okay?”



As much as I’m glad the “girls are real gamers” conversation is happening, I’d rather we not start dissing those who say, don’t play certain games, or attend certain competitions, or can dedicate so much time for the hobby, or who dare treat it like a hobby as “not real”.

I’m happy as hell that there are ladies out there who kick ass on Call of Duty or Halo or Left 4 Dead, who put up with the sexist ragegamers, and/or who have had a controller in their hands since before Coleco, I just feel that we shouldn’t even HAVE to justify ourselves to anyone.

“But, but Femi, what about those fake gamer girls who call themselves gamers because they only play BubbleBashCandyCrack saga on Facebook? We have to protect our precious image!”

First of all, ARE there people who only play social media games who call themselves ‘gamers’?  Because to my knowledge, that’s a big ol stinky red herring.  And if they did, so the fuck what? Does it take any enjoyment of your games from you?  Doesn’t it worry you that when non-gamers hear ‘gamers’, they imagine anything more than a anti-social basement dwelling dude with cheesy Doritos stained fingers screaming abuse into a headset between sips of Mountain Dew while he plays Call of Duty 60 hours a week?  Because, between you and me, I’d rather include others in our little umbrella; the ladies, the parents, the kids, and yes, the casual player. Expand the definition a little.  Change our image. It won’t hurt you, I swear.

Besides, what can you possibly do about it?  You can’t march into someone’s house and dump their consoles and games because you don’t APPROVE.  You can’t wipe their Steam or Origin account (okay, some with the right skills could, but seriously why?).  You can huff and puff until the cows come home and log onto Xbox One, and at the end of the day, you really aren’t doing anything but a disservice to the rest of us.  Some of us want to change the face of gaming to include more people, and guess what?  You’re losing.

My definition of “gamer” is simple. Do you play games? Do you enjoy playing games? Do you have a favorite? Congrats, you’re a gamer.  I don’t have time in my day to play gatekeeper, and I wonder how those who do have the time to actually enjoy the hobby they are so protective of.  Trust me, for all the tanty throwing you’re doing, the rest of us are doing the calculations, AND:

From the ever delightful The Oatmeal http://theoatmeal.com/blog/number_of_fucks
From the ever delightful The Oatmeal


A “Real” Gamer
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