Back when I was a Catholic kid my high school included Veggie Tales videos in our theology classes. Veggie Tales is a line of Christian animated children’s shows that include variations of bible stories, morality tales, and ridiculous musical numbers all performed by computer animated vegetables. They were not exactly age appropriate for my high school classrooms, but they were cute and fun enough that people didn’t really complain, and honestly I actively liked them.
While the religious stories lost their appeal after I left the Church, the silly songs stuck with me. They’re genuinely ridiculous songs that are pretty catchy and fun. I bought the “Silly Songs With Larry” CD long after I’d lost faith. For someone like me, with affection for catchy cartoon music, Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything and Song of the Cebu are winners.
The song that stuck with me longest, however, did so because it is unintentionally one of the best polyamory anthems I’ve ever heard. In His Cheeseburger a squash sings about his love for his cheeseburger. Although he is going to go off and have bacon and eggs at Denny’s while his cheeseburger is not available, this by no means indicates a lack of passion for the cheeseburger.
Admittedly, this is not a perfect poly song. The cheeseburger doesn’t get a chance to consent to the polyamory that his squash has just decided on, which seems important in a universe in which food can think and talk. Nonetheless, I appreciate that this religious children’s series has provided me with such a delightful song about getting some bacon and eggs on the side.