Frivolous Friday: Gebhard Woods Gear Test

Frivolous Fridays are the Orbit bloggers’ excuse to post about fun things we care about that may not have serious implications for atheism or social justice. Any day is a good day to write about whatever the heck we’re interested in (hey, we put “culture” in our tagline for a reason), but we sometimes have a hard time giving ourselves permission to do that. This is our way of encouraging each other to take a break from serious topics and have some fun. Enjoy!

Well, I went out for my gear test weekend just as I planned. I went to Gebhard Woods State Park, about an hour and a half south of Chicago, in the town of Morris. I was hoping to test the gear I have for going with tent-free camping – a hammock and tarp, with my usual pad and sleeping bag. I also originally intended to do some hiking but blisters on my feet from work meant I changed that plan last minute to stay off my feet as much as I could.
Continue reading “Frivolous Friday: Gebhard Woods Gear Test”

Frivolous Friday: Gebhard Woods Gear Test
{advertisement}

Almost Right, But Oh So Wrong

CN: Transphobia, bathroom policies, hate speech, Christian apologetics, swear words. I might be channeling Niki a little with the language here. Also, fair warning that this post is a little less polished than usual because I’m pissed off.

Additional Note: The link the post I’m talking about is currently not working, and I’m aware of it. In fact the entire blog seems to have disappeared at the moment, but I don’t know why.(4/27/2016 8:15am CST) It’s back up this evening (4/27/2016 11:30pm CST)

Comment Moderation Note: Comments questioning the legitimacy of transgender people’s identities are not allowed on this blog and will not be allowed through. Trans men are men, trans women are women. Don’t waste either of our time by suggesting otherwise in the comment section. (4/30/2016 2:15pm CST)

This week a self-identified “straight conservative preacher’s wife” named Jaci Lambert wrote about her reactions to Target’s bathroom policy, which is long-standing and states that people in their stores are welcome to use the bathroom that matches their gender identity. Lambert says she understands why Christians are so angry about Target’s policy, but wants her fellow Christians to display more love and understanding rather than anger and boycotts. She also points out that sexual assault happens in lots of contexts, including in parish communities, and keeping trans people out of bathrooms isn’t an effective safety mechanism.

So, she’s got those parts kinda right. Everything else in this post is oh so wrong.
Continue reading “Almost Right, But Oh So Wrong”

Almost Right, But Oh So Wrong

The North Carolina Kink Event Doing It Right

CN: Transphobia, HB2, politics, BDSM, kink. Text only, no images, nothing explicit at all.

Several years ago I called for kink events to start using harassment policies, much like conferences in the SF/F world, the skeptical community, and other communities were at the time. Those policies have become more common since then, and are expected by many to exist at the events they go to.

Unfortunately, the kink community has largely ignored calls for formal and enforceable harassment policies. Instead, many events and clubs have a “If you have a problem come talk to the organizers about it and we’ll maybe do something.” This process doesn’t work, has never worked, and isn’t going to start working any time soon.

However, there are a few events getting this right. For several years one of those events has been Debauchery in North Carolina. It is run by a couple named Sysiphe and Nullmoniker. Full disclosure: They are very good friends of mine, I have spoken at this event before, and I intend to again this year.
Continue reading “The North Carolina Kink Event Doing It Right”

The North Carolina Kink Event Doing It Right

Frivolous Friday: Preparing for Gear Test Weekend

Frivolous Fridays are the Orbit bloggers’ excuse to post about fun things we care about that may not have serious implications for atheism or social justice. Any day is a good day to write about whatever the heck we’re interested in (hey, we put “culture” in our tagline for a reason), but we sometimes have a hard time giving ourselves permission to do that. This is our way of encouraging each other to take a break from serious topics and have some fun. Enjoy!

As of right now the weekend weather looks like it’s going to be clear and cool. I’m going camping, and I’m trying several new things. I can’t wait! Since I only have 2 nights and am testing new gear I’ll be staying at a state park in a walk-in only area that I hope will not be full of people this weekend. I am VERY much looking forward to a quiet weekend alone and out of the chaos of the city.
Continue reading “Frivolous Friday: Preparing for Gear Test Weekend”

Frivolous Friday: Preparing for Gear Test Weekend

Environmental Anti-Science: Appeal to Nature

One of the most frustrating parts of being an environmental science major is realizing how much incredibly bad information is out there about environmental issues. People often believe they know what the best environmental decisions are, when they are actually ineffectual, complicated, or completely wrong. I really believe that a lot of people want to make decisions that are best for the environment, but they make decisions based on mistaken logic and incorrect information. The most common problem is the fallacy of the appeal to nature.

Continue reading “Environmental Anti-Science: Appeal to Nature”

Environmental Anti-Science: Appeal to Nature

Just Keep Doodling

Sometimes I notice that a lot of my classmates sit in class, body still, hands still, looking to the front of the room, in what appears to be full attention. Setting aside the texters and chatters (less common in my classes now that I’m an upperclassman), there seem to be a lot of attentive, if quiet, students. They may or may not participate in class conversation, but their whole quiet bodies exude polite attention.

To me this looks like a superpower. If I want to actually absorb anything said in class I cannot do that. I can sit still, but it takes so much of my attention to do so that my mind wanders and I miss important parts of a class discussion or lecture. Actually looking at the instructor the whole time is difficult in a way that’s hard to explain, even though I don’t normally have trouble looking at people in social situations. I need to do something else with my hands and my eyes in order to follow the lecture.

My stimming doesn’t look much like stereotypical autistic habits, though I have been known to hand-flap when very excited. Instead, I have drawn the same patterns down the edges of my notepapers in class since middle school. I buy nice pens in many colors in order to do this in the most satisfying way, with bright colored uni-ball Vision pens having the best feel and color saturation. My notes ALL look like this, from 6th grade Social Studies through college Ecology courses. I take notes too, of course, but the rest of the time I am carefully drawing my patterns over and over.

Image is of a diagonal checkerboard pattern in red and black along the edge of a loose leaf sheet of paper in a 3 ring binder.
Image is of a diagonal checkerboard pattern in red and black along the edge of a loose leaf sheet of paper in a 3 ring binder.

These days I also use fidget toys in situations where doodling my lines isn’t feasible, such as sitting in talks without desks or tables. My favorite fidgets are hard plastic movable toys. They need to be very quiet and have as smooth of a texture as possible. I particularly love the Jeliku Toy and Tangle Jr. These aren’t as good as doodling though, which just seems to open up my ears and calm my mind like nothing else. I definitely learn best when I can doodle my lines.

There’s good reason to let autistic learners stim in ways that allow us to learn better. If we’re spending energy trying to repress our habitual stimming behavior, that is energy not going to learning. I am lucky that I have had very little trouble in college with professors questioning my doodling, but it definitely got negative attention from teachers in middle and high school, who saw it as a sign I wasn’t paying attention. In fact, I’m often the first student to respond to questions in class, and I participate enthusiastically in class discussions, so I don’t think my professors worry that I don’t know what’s going on – they realize pretty quickly that even though I’m not looking at them, I’m hearing everything they say.

Just Keep Doodling

If You Want To Be A Real Man

Early in transition I was following a friend while driving. He’d been a pizza delivery driver for years and honestly drove recklessly at the best of times. I’m a somewhat more cautious driver, and was struggling to stay with him as he wove through highway traffic over the speed limit.

When we arrived at our destination this friend said to me “Jeeze, if you want to be a real man, you gotta learn how to drive.”

Beyond the fact that I had an excellent driving record, and he did not, this comment STUNG. This friend came to a better understanding over time, but he really didn’t see me as a real man, and this comment showed it. It’s a pretty common one for trans men to hear early in transition, and even occasionally later in transition, and it’s ugly.

There is no driving test for manhood. There’s no test at all – someone who identifies as a man is a man. Even if he’s a timid driver, hates sports, doesn’t drink beer, and doesn’t have a single chin hair. Being a shitty driver wouldn’t make me a man any more than having a penis would.

Many trans men experience pressure to participate in traditionally masculine activities or take on stereotypical traits in order to prove our manhood, even more than cis men do. There is similar pressure on trans women to perform stereotypical femininity. We see this in overt messages like that comment from my friend, and more subtly from articles and documentaries about trans people. Have you ever noticed how all of those documentaries include images of trans women putting on makeup?

I understand where the pressure can come from when it comes from people who really do care about us. Some of the pressure I got back then was coming from a loving place, even though it was seriously misguided. When friends or lovers suggested which mannerisms or clothing choices might be coming off as not so manly they genuinely were trying to help, since the assumption was that I wanted to be perceived as a man by the world. I did want to be perceived that way, but now I really wish the world would recognize us as the gender we are without conforming to arbitrary ideas of masculine and feminine. I want the world to see trans men as men and trans women as women and nonbinary people as nonbinary simply because that’s who we are, not because we perform gender in the way that makes cis people comfortable.

When this pressure comes from those who are not really interested in the comfort of trans people the reason is more insidious. So many people say they will accept us as our true identities as long as we uphold very rigid gender norms. It is crucially important to them not to really question the structure of cis-normativity, and as such their expectation is that trans men will wear traditionally male clothes, have short hair, have traditionally male interests, get our breasts removed and get phaloplasty surgeries. The fact that many trans men don’t want to do all of these things, that they’re not appropriate to our identities, is not important to them. The idea that a trans woman can be a woman without dresses or makeup goes against their deeply ingrained ideas of what makes someone a woman. That many trans people don’t want to medically transition in the ways they expect or at all is particularly disruptive to cis-normative societies, so these people advocate for medical requirements for identification changes, and infer that those of us who refuse genital surgery aren’t really who we say we are. They will accept us only if we try very very hard to be as much like stereotypical cis people as possible.

Those cisgender people who want to be truly supportive of trans and nonbinary folks have a simple job. Just accept us as we are. When someone says he’s a man, believe that he is no matter how pink the skirt he’s wearing is. When someone says their pronouns are “they, them” use those, no matter what haircut they have. When a kid tells you she’s a girl, believe her even on the football field. Gender performance is not identity, and I can drive carefully if I want to.

If You Want To Be A Real Man

Review of Freethought Festival

CN: Very mild mentions of ableism, trans erasure, alcohol.

I attended Freethought Festival in Madison Wisconsin this past weekend. This was the 5th time the students at University of Wisconsin have hosted this event, and I have attended all of them largely because it’s free and in my home town. Three Orbit bloggers, Heina, Greta, and Alix, have spoken at this event over the years.

Freethought Festival (FTF) is definitely a mainstream Atheist event. The keynote speaker this year was James Randi, though I missed his talk because I needed to leave town. Despite being a student-run event, the audience isn’t very diverse, with a high percentage of older white men. The speakers were 69% male, 85% white this year, though this has varied in years past with a more gender balanced group of speakers in 2015 and 2013. It does not put itself forward as a social justice event, but has featured talks with distinctly justice oriented themes, such as Alix’s talk on diversity in the atheist community in 2012 and Desiree Schell’s talk on the links between unions and freethought in 2013.

In the 5 years I have attended FTF I have not attended every talk or every social event, but I have attended some portion of all 5 events. I have seen some really fascinating talks, and a few boring ones. I have heard some things I disagreed with from the stage, but that is to be expected, and nothing really stands out to me as shockingly offensive in my memory.

The event is FREE! This is a major bonus for those, like me, who have little funds to attend atheist conventions. If you can get there, you can attend. The event itself is free, and located in an area with reasonably inexpensive food, including grocery stores and fast food nearby (there are great restaurants too). Those who live in Madison can get there easily, but those from outside the area may struggle to find highly affordable accommodations in the downtown area. There is a hostel in the area though, which may be the cheapest option for visitors. It’s a short bus or medium length walk from campus.

The spaces used by this event have been increasingly attractive and comfortable over the past few years. It began in a lecture hall in the old uncomfortable Humanities Building, and has moved to more and more comfortable spaces over time. The most recent space was a big ballroom in a brand new building, with neat textured wood walls and a generally clean and well-made feel. It definitely feels different than the old lecture hall and the audio-visual tech has improved dramatically over the years.

FTF has a harassment policy on their website, which is easily found on the “Event Information” page. The policy is a pretty standard boilerplate policy, without any glaring problems. In my experience the wording of a harassment policy isn’t as important as how it is enforced, and I am not aware of any problems with enforcement at this particular event. In fact, since I am not involved in the running of this event, I’m unaware of any reported incidents of harassment so it is possible that there have not been any reasons for enforcement at this time. I did NOT see any paperwork on the harassment policy at the event itself, including on the registration desk, but I didn’t go looking for it either. One way this event could improve is by making the policy (or a short version of it) visible at the event itself.

The website and physical location had absolutely no recognition that I could find of the existence of disabled attendees. While the building it was held in this year and the past few years have complied with ADA requirements (unlike the first year), there was no seating set aside for people using mobility devices, no ASL interpretation or transcription, no discussion of accessibility issues on the website or paperwork at registration. This is a major area that FTF could improve. It is incredibly inexpensive to include accessibility information on the website and to set aside reserved mobility seating at the event. While including interpreters and similar accommodations can be expensive, I think it’s worth it to make an event accessible to more attendees.

From a neuroaccessibility perspective I didn’t find this event to be as comfortable as I found Skepticon this past year. That event actively works to recognize that their attendees have varied physical needs and have been at the forefront of accessible events even while still charging nothing to attend. At FTF I brought my own fidgets and found that the volume was very comfortable for me (maybe too quiet for others) but it didn’t feel like a space that was actively trying to be inclusive of everyone.

The building FTF was held in this year, as well as the one with the social events, did not have a gender neutral bathroom, or at least not one that was easy to find. If there is one available, this should be indicated to attendees with signs or something similar. The absence of neutral bathrooms, and no commentary about it, indicates that the event organizers may be unaware that this is an important issue. Gender non-binary attendees and trans attendees who desire neutral bathrooms should have a safe place to use, and if none is available the event should work to remedy this situation and acknowledge the problem publicly.

The social events for FTF are a major area in which they could improve. People are encouraged to socialize at the Union South, a student union several blocks walk from the main event. The Union itself is pretty cool, but the rooms these events have been in for the past 2 years are frankly boring and uncomfortable. This year there was definitely not enough space for the number of people who wanted to socialize due to the building code restrictions, which meant people spilled out into the halls. The social culture revolves around beer and talking very loudly in rooms that echo. Not great. Even worse, you have to go down a flight of stairs and across the lower level into a SUPER loud bar area to order beer or appetizers, then bring them back up to the socializing area. I’m sure alternatives must exist for this set-up, perhaps in any one of the many near-campus restaurants or coffee shops nearby. In fact, an alcohol-free social event in a nearby coffee shop would be ideal. I like drinking, but this is a student run event that should include the underage students they want to reach, and the social events should reflect that.

I’m going to keep attending Freethought Festival in future years, because they continue to bring in speakers I am interested in seeing and it’s easy for me to go to a free event in my home town. I’d love to see the improvements in accessibility and social events that could lead to this being a much more accepting and fun event to attend.

Review of Freethought Festival

Subverting Veggie Tales: His Cheeseburger

Back when I was a Catholic kid my high school included Veggie Tales videos in our theology classes. Veggie Tales is a line of Christian animated children’s shows that include variations of bible stories, morality tales, and ridiculous musical numbers all performed by computer animated vegetables. They were not exactly age appropriate for my high school classrooms, but they were cute and fun enough that people didn’t really complain, and honestly I actively liked them.

While the religious stories lost their appeal after I left the Church, the silly songs stuck with me. They’re genuinely ridiculous songs that are pretty catchy and fun. I bought the “Silly Songs With Larry” CD long after I’d lost faith. For someone like me, with affection for catchy cartoon music, Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything and Song of the Cebu are winners.

The song that stuck with me longest, however, did so because it is unintentionally one of the best polyamory anthems I’ve ever heard. In His Cheeseburger a squash sings about his love for his cheeseburger. Although he is going to go off and have bacon and eggs at Denny’s while his cheeseburger is not available, this by no means indicates a lack of passion for the cheeseburger.

Admittedly, this is not a perfect poly song. The cheeseburger doesn’t get a chance to consent to the polyamory that his squash has just decided on, which seems important in a universe in which food can think and talk. Nonetheless, I appreciate that this religious children’s series has provided me with such a delightful song about getting some bacon and eggs on the side.

Subverting Veggie Tales: His Cheeseburger

Frivolous Friday: Preparing For First Camp

Frivolous Fridays are the Orbit bloggers’ excuse to post about fun things we care about that may not have serious implications for atheism or social justice. Any day is a good day to write about whatever the heck we’re interested in (hey, we put “culture” in our tagline for a reason), but we sometimes have a hard time giving ourselves permission to do that. This is our way of encouraging each other to take a break from serious topics and have some fun. Enjoy!

I keep most of my camping gear stored for the winter in a different city than where I live most of the time, so when the season begins I need to go fetch gear from the garage. I love going in and sorting through my pile of stuff, imagining adventures of the past and future.

While I have a lot of gear, I’ve been moving towards simpler and simpler camp set-ups over time. I don’t want to be daunted by the idea of packing for camp and end up skipping it because things are too complicated. I don’t want set up to take a long time, nor teardown (the worst part of camping). This is the opposite of how most of my big poly family camps – my spouse doesn’t plan ahead as much as me, and preparing for camp tends to be frantically throwing 6 musical instruments, a box of granola bars, and bottle of wine in the car. This works surprisingly well for them! My boyfriend and his family have a big, luxurious camping set up that’s great fun to use with them, but a style I’d rather not do on my own. The full kit requires a full sized van and small trailer but creates an extremely comfortable home for a big group.

Since I have limited time to get out to the trails I want my kit to be simple, light, and able to be kept together most of the time so that I can simply toss socks and food into the kit and get out the door. On my own, simpler is better. As much as I love gear, I just don’t need that much, and I want to carry as little as I can get away with.

This time I pulled out basic lightweight gear only – none of my car camping gear like large tents or air mattresses or lanterns. I stuck with my sleep pad, frame pack, lighter sleeping bag, and an old rain fly from a now-dead tent that I hope to turn into a shelter tarp before heading out. I brought my backpacking tent as well, but my hope is to switch to using my hammock instead when I am on my own. The tent itself sleeps 2 people who really like each other and will keep me dry in nasty storms, but it weighs 6 pounds which is totally unnecessary weight when I’m on my own in good to moderate weather. I would recommend it, though, if it was still being made. Unfortunately the company isn’t in business anymore and my tent is about a decade old and obtained second hand.

I found a small walk-in campground near home to do my gear test. It should be very quiet there in April, so I’m looking forward to that. I’m going in two weeks, which gives me time to adapt the rain fly and plan my food! I’m definitely going to try something new if I can. Perhaps next week I’ll write about the menu once I figure it out.

Frivolous Friday: Preparing For First Camp