rape culture

More faces of Rape Culture

Tony Thompson, ,

Marshall University’s Women’s Center defines Rape Culture as:

Rape Culture is an environment in which rape is prevalent and in which sexual violence against women is normalized and excused in the media and popular culture.  Rape culture is perpetuated through the use of misogynistic language, the objectification of women’s bodies, and the glamorization of sexual violence, thereby creating a society that disregards women’s rights and safety.

Rape Culture affects every woman.  The rape of one woman is a degradation, terror, and limitation to all women. Most women and girls limit their behavior because of the existence of rape. Most women and girls live in fear of rape. Men, in general, do not. That’s how rape functions as a powerful means by which the whole female population is held in a subordinate position to the whole male population, even though many men don’t rape, and many women are never victims of rape.  This cycle of fear is the legacy of Rape Culture.

The book Transforming Rape Culture defines Rape Culture as:

A rape culture is a complex of beliefs that encourages male sexual aggression and supports violence against women. It is a society where violence is seen as sexy and sexuality as violent. In a rape culture, women perceive a continuum of threatened violence that ranges from sexual remarks to sexual touching to rape itself. A rape culture condones physical and emotional terrorism against women as the norm.

In a rape culture both men and women assume that sexual violence is a fact of life, inevitable as death or taxes. This violence, however, is neither biologically nor divinely ordained. Much of what we accept as inevitable is in fact the expression of values and attitudes that can change.

Melissa McEwan of Shakesville helpfully gives an extensive (though not exhaustive) list of the ways Rape Culture manifests. Here’s an excerpt:

Rape culture is victim-blaming. Rape culture is a judge blaming a child for her own rape. Rape culture is a minister blaming his child victims. Rape culture is accusing a child of enjoying being held hostage, raped, and tortured. Rape culture is spending enormous amounts of time finding any reason at all that a victim can be blamed for hir own rape.

Rape culture is judges banning the use of the word rape in the courtroom. Rape culture is the media using euphemisms for sexual assault. Rape culture is stories about rape being featured in the Odd News.

Rape culture is tasking victims with the burden of rape prevention. Rape culture is encouraging women to take self-defense as though that is the only solution required to preventing rape. Rape culture is admonishing women to “learn common sense” or “be more responsible” or “be aware of barroom risks” or “avoid these places” or “don’t dress this way,” and failing to admonish men to not rape.

Rape culture is “nothing” being the most frequent answer to a question about what people have been formally taught about rape.

Rape culture is boys under 10 years old knowing how to rape.

Rape culture is the idea that only certain people rape—and only certain people get raped. Rape culture is ignoring that the thing about rapists is that they rape people. They rape people who are strong and people who are weak, people who are smart and people who are dumb, people who fight back and people who submit just to get it over with, people who are sluts and people who are prudes, people who rich and people who are poor, people who are tall and people who are short, people who are fat and people who are thin, people who are blind and people who are sighted, people who are deaf and people who can hear, people of every race and shape and size and ability and circumstance.

Rape culture is the narrative that sex workers can’t be raped. Rape culture is the assertion that wives can’t be raped. Rape culture is the contention that only nice girls can be raped.

Rape Culture exists in the United States. It exists across the entire planet. Attitudes surrounding Rape Culture are on display innumerable times, every single day. David Edwards at Raw Story has written about yet another example of Rape Culture.  A Florida man is defending his sexual assault of a 6-year-old girl by blaming her:

The Palm Beach Post reported that the girl told detectives that Andres Bartolome Juan grabbed her in her apartment’s laundry room on Jan. 31.

According to the police report, Juan shook the girl by both arms, and then he assaulted her twice.

The girl’s mother found her bicycle unattended and called out for her, interrupting the alleged attack. The mother said that her daughter ran out of the laundry room “with a panicked look on her face.”

The mother found Juan in the laundry room trying to escape through a back window, the police report said. The mother told detectives that Juan’s belt was unbuckled, and his pants were open.

The girl later told her mother that she had been touched inappropriately, but “was too scared to talk about the details.”

Detectives were able to identify Juan because he had once lived in the apartments. He was charged with two counts of sexual assault against a victim 12 years old or younger.

“I touched the little girl,” he reportedly admitted to detectives during an interview.

“It’s [the girl’s] fault this happened,” the suspect added while deputies were taking a DNA sample.

Juan was being held in the Palm Beach County Jail without bail.

This story is disgusting. Children  are not physically or mentally capable of making informed decisions in matters concerning sex. There is a reason that the age of consent in the United States is 18. I don’t care what Juan says–It. Is. Not. Her. Fault (I’ll add that even if the girl were an adult woman, what he did still would have been sexual assault).  He chose to sexually assault her. That decision was his and the blame is all on his shoulders. His victim-blaming is one of the many vile manifestations of Rape Culture.

A second example of Rape Culture comes in the comments section of that same Raw Story article. A commenter leaves this puke-inducing pile of shit:

Castrate the m.f.s.o.b.child abuser. He better not drop the soap in the shower once in jail.

Both sentences are an example of Rape Culture. The first sentence is an endorsement of retributive justice, akin to “an eye for an eye”. Answering sexual assault with sexual assault…meeting a violation of bodily autonomy with the violation of the bodily autonomy–this is not something any society, especially a civilized one should condone. How the hell can you condemn sexual assault and the violation of an individuals’ bodily autonomy while simultaneously expressing a desire to violate bodily autonomy and commit sexual assault?  It doesn’t matter what the justification is. Sexual assault is wrong. Violation of bodily autonomy is wrong. Neither act becomes “right” simply because of state support. Endorsing sexual assault and violation of bodily autonomy is most certainly an example of Rape Culture, no matter what the justification is.

There is an additional problem with this idea of justice by castration. Being castrated won’t prevent Juan from sexually assaulting anyone. You don’t need a penis and testicles to sexually assault someone (just look at the New Delhi rape case where-in addition to penetrative rape-the attackers used a metal rod to rape the victim). The commenter displays an appalling ignorance of the realities of rape.

The second sentence of course, refers to prison rape which is a huge problem:

The well-being of our prisoners isn’t a topic that often garners much sympathy. Perhaps that is why few Americans know that rapes and sexual assaults of U.S.inmates have reached epidemic proportions.

The Bureau of Justice Statistics confirmed this human rights crisis last month. It says that nearly one in 10 prisoners report having been raped or sexually assaulted by other inmates, staff or both.

That’s why the release of a separate report by the National Prison Rape Elimination Commission, which was created by Congress in 2003, is so important. It challenges our society to take seriously a problem that has ruined many lives.

As the above article mentions, prison rape is not treated as a big deal. Far too many people dehumanize prisoners and think they don’t (or shouldn’t) have rights. The thing is, human rights exist for *all* people and that includes prisoners. Not just the “good” people. We can and should punish people who commit sexual assault and rape. But we shouldn’t adopt their tactics. We shouldn’t perpetuate the idea that rape and sexual assault are permissible under certain circumstances.  When we do so, especially when we try to speak out against rape and sexual assault, we completely undermine ourselves. Even the most repellent human being still has rights. The minute we start deciding that some category of humans should be sexually assaulted or have their bodily integrity violated is the minute we start descending the dangerous slippery slope of “only some people have rights” (hell, some people have already begun their journey down that slippery slope. Just look at the existence of so-called “corrective rape“).

More faces of Rape Culture
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Utah lawmaker is a rape apologist

Tony Thompson, , 1 Comment

In The History of the Pleas of the Crown 17th century English lawyer and judge Sir Matthew Hale wrote:

But the husband cannot be guilty of a rape committed by himself upon his
lawful wife, for by their mutual matrimonial consent and contract the wife hath
given up herself in this kind unto her husband which she cannot retract.

According to Hale, a husband is entitled to sex from his wife, the signing of a marriage contract means a wife gives her ongoing consent to sex, and a wife cannot retract her consent so long as she remains married. In other words, husbands have a marital rape exemption. By virtue of being married, a husband has the right to demand and engage in sex with his wife, regardless of her wishes. Marital rape exemptions in the United States, which can trace their roots back to Hale’s treatise, were included in the criminal code of all U.S. states for most of the country’s history. In 1976-200 years after the founding of the United States-Nebraska became the first state to abolish the marital rape exemption, with other states following…very…slowly. North Carolina and Oklahoma became the last states in the nation to remove their marital rape exemptions-in 1993 (27 years after Nebraska).

Unfortunately, while the courts have criminalized marital rape, deep-seated cultural and religious beliefs about married women continue to persist in our culture. These sexist and misogynistic beliefs make it difficult for many people to recognize sexual coercion in marriage (thanks a bunch Sir Matthew Hale, for your role in perpetuating sexism and misogyny). As a result, despite the elimination of the marital rape exemption, the crime is infrequently prosecuted.

Though infrequent, prosecution for marital rape does happen. For Rep. Brian Greene of Utah, this is cause for concern:

A Utah measure seeking to make that legal clarification won early approval in a state legislative committee Tuesday, but some lawmakers qualified their support, questioning whether the law would designate sex with an unconscious spouse as rape.

“If an individual has sex with their wife while she is unconscious … a prosecutor could then charge that spouse with rape, theoretically,” said Rep. Brian Greene, R-Pleasant Grove.”That makes sense in a first date scenario, but to me, not where people have a history of years of sexual activity.”

Rep. Greene clearly holds the same disgusting, misogynistic beliefs about a woman’s “wifely duties” as Sir Matthew Hale. And he’s just as fucking ignorant. If your wife is unconscious, she cannot consent. Sex without consent is the very definition of rape. Marital status does not change that definition. Husbands are not entitled to sex from their wives and wives do not owe their husbands sex (or anything else for that matter). Whether you engage in non-consensual sex on the first date, or after 10 years of marriage it is still rape. It doesn’t magically become NOT rape if a husband has non-consensual sex with his wife. Thankfully, decent human beings spoke up in opposition to Greene:

Others disagreed. If a person is unconscious, having sex with him or her “is rape. Period. End of story,” said Rep. Brian King, D-Salt Lake City. “Let’s make the statute clear. Let’s not dance around it.”
According to prosecutors, “consent is a decision that has to be made at the time of the act,” said attorney Donna Kelly from the Utah Prosecution Council. “You cannot give consent to sexual activity if you’re unconscious.”

Utah’s current law doesn’t adequately protect victims, advocates and others told the House Judiciary Committee at the Capitol on Tuesday.

“This is something that’s been a long time coming,” bill sponsor Rep. Angela Romero, D-Salt Lake City, said after the meeting. “At the end of the day, if someone’s unconscious or they’re a vulnerable adult, then the logical answer is: Don’t try to have a sexual relationship with them.”

Lawmakers parsed HB74 to understand the implications for sex between partners, husbands and wives and those who may be incapacitated by mental disabilities, medication or surgery. The legislation aims to clarify the definition of consent in sexual assault cases.

“I’m not at all trying to justify sexual activity with an unconscious person. It’s abhorrent to me,” Greene said. But he questioned whether sex with an unconscious person should be “rape in every instance — dependent only upon the actor’s knowledge that the individual is unconscious. That’s the question. That’s what I struggle with.”

If you’re trying to question whether non-consensual sex is rape, then you are arguing that not all rape is bad, and you have utterly failed to be a decent human being. I wonder if Rep. Greene’s Mormon beliefs play a role in his odious views on marital rape.

Nah. I’m sure there’s nothing in Mormon doctrine that says the husband is entitled to sex from his wife, or that a wife is duty bound to give her husband sex when he wants it regardless of her desires.

If you have been the victim of sexual assault or if you are a family member or friend of someone who has been victimized, please call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673) or visit them online for secure, free, and confidential help.

Utah lawmaker is a rape apologist

How many allegations will it take for people to believe Bill Cosby is a rapist?

Tony Thompson, ,

“O you who believe, if you borrow until a delayed period then you will write it amongst you, and let he who is an official record keeper write between you, and let him not refuse to write as God has commanded it. And when he writes, let he who has borrowed give the details of the transaction and he shall fear his Lord God and not omit anything. If the one who has borrowed is not fit, or if he is weak, or if he can’t complete the information; then let he who is responsible for him fill-in on his behalf. And you shall have TWO witnesses from your men, and if they are not two men then let them be ONE man and TWO women from those whose testimony you accept, so if one of them is misguided , then one will remind the other…..” (2/282)

As you can see from this excerpt from the Islamic holy book, the Quran, it takes two women to equal the testimony of one man. Yeah, that’s sexist as all get out, but compared to Bill Cosby’s rape allegation deniers, that’s downright enlightened. In the comments sections of article after article, you can find Cosby’s defenders vehemently denying the accusations against him. There’s even a Facebook page titled ‘Bill Cosby is innocent until proven guilty’ (yeah, these people, like many USAmericans do not understand that ‘innocent til proven guilty’ only applies to the inside of a courtroom). None of them has a shred of evidence to support their opinion. I suspect they’re basing their opinion on Cosby’s body of work as if his portrayal of Cliff Huxtable or his comedic skills somehow means he can’t be a rapist.  Just because he is/was a successful comedian…just because he portrayed a warm, loving father on the Cosby Show, that makes him NOT a rapist?  Uh-uh. That’s not how that works. In fact, his body of work has nothing whatsoever to do with whether or not he raped anyone. The flip side of these views, of course, is that all those women and their allegations? They’re lying liars who lie. No, we don’t live in a rape culture where people automatically assume women are lying when they claim they were raped. Le sigh.

Random commenters on the Internet are not the only people leaping to the defense of Cosby.  Some of his former co-workers and other celebrities have also jumped to his defense.  Phylicia Rashad (who played Claire Huxtable on the Cosby Show) recently broke her silence on the subject:

She stands defiantly behind him. She told me that in the years she’s known him, she has never seen the behavior alleged by the women who say they were drugged and raped, or sexually harassed.

Why would she expect to see such behavior? In virtually all the cases, the assaults happened with no witnesses. Of course she wouldn’t have seen any such behavior! He drugged and assaulted these women in private.

Rashad said:  “What you’re seeing is the destruction of a legacy. And I think it’s orchestrated. I don’t know why or who’s doing it, but it’s the legacy. And it’s a legacy that is so important to the culture.”

No, what you’re seeing is women who have decided to remain silent no longer. They’ve been harmed by him, and kept quiet, sometimes for decades. As more women spoke up, those who were silent found the courage to speak up, despite the inevitable backlash from Cosby’s fans.

Rashad dismisses claims from both Beverly Johnson and Janice Dickinson. “Oh, please,” she said when their names came up. She also is quick to defend Camille Cosby. “This is a tough woman, a smart woman,” she told me. “She’s no pushover.” There is no question, Rashad said, that Camille Cosby has not been complicit or looked the other way as her husband terrorized women for the last 50 years.

“Oh please”? Well, I guess that is all that is needed to refute Johnson and Dickinson. Oh, wait. No. It’s fucking not. I’m so tired of people automatically assuming women are lying when they allege that they were raped. This is one of the reasons so many women don’t speak up, because people assume they’re lying. If no one is going to believe you, then why speak up? What justice can be had if you’re treated as a liar?

She said, “Someone is determined to keep Bill Cosby off TV,” alluding to people other than the women. “And it’s worked. All his contracts have been cancelled.”

Good. Rapists should not get their own television shows.

We talked more about the legacy of The Cosby Show. “This show represented America to the outside world. This was the American family. And now you’re seeing it being destroyed. Why?”

The ‘Cosby Show’ has not been destroyed. It still exists. It still had a tremendous impact on how African-Americans are viewed in this country. It’s still a landmark series that helped show that Black people were just as diverse as white people, and I’m sure it helped chip away at some of the prejudices held by many USAmericans.

She said Cosby himself is probably too proud to raise a defense. I countered that his silence reminded me of how Jerry Lewis reacted whe, after 50 years. the Muscular Dystrophy Association treated him like dirt. He refused to fight back. To quote a popular song from the 70s: “If you don’t know me by now, you will never never know me.”

Cosby has mounted a defense, via his legal team. That defense has consisted of exactly the same shit Rashad has said: those women are lying.

So what to do about Cosby’s accusers? Rashad feels strongly that some other force is at play– for some reason, Cosby’s great strides in education, as well as show business, are being ruined so that new generations will only remember him by this scandal. And what about a defense from the man himself? “If he spoke now, what do you think the media would do with it?” Rashad asked. And let’s face it, she’s right about that.

This is so damn sad. It’s easier to believe in a far-reaching, vast conspiracy spanning decades and involving over 30 women than it is to believe that Bill Cosby is a serial rapist.  Uh huh.

Artist Jill Scott has also defended the comedian:

It’s great that you know him, buuuuuuuut…I hate to break this to you, rapes are often committed by people the victim knows. According to RAINN:

Approximately 2/3 of rapes were committed by someone known to the victim.
73% of sexual assaults were perpetrated by a non-stranger.
38% of rapists are a friend or acquaintance.
28% are an intimate.
7% are a relative.

So this “I knew him and you didn’t, therefore he’s not a rapist” is naught but bullshit.

Camille and Evin Cosby (wife and daughter of the comedian) also defended him, saying:

“He is a kind man, a generous man, a funny man,” Cosby’s wife Camille said in a statement first reported by CBS on Monday. “A different man has been portrayed in the media over the last two months. It is the portrait of a man I do not know.”

Cosby’s youngest daughter, Evin, followed up by praising her parents in a lengthy Facebook post.

Then, in a statement obtained by Access Hollywood on Tuesday, Evin said this:

“He is the father you thought you knew. The Cosby Show was my today’s TV reality show. Thank you. That’s all I would like to say :)”

I fully understand why family members would be in denial. But for all that they love, respect, and trust him…well, I’d point to those RAINN statistics again. I’m sure he has been loving and respectful to his family, but he’s also been a serial rapist.

While Cosby’s defenders are busy denying the allegations against him, the number of victims has continued to rise (33 named women have spoken up). Cindra Ladd is the latest woman to publicly accuse Cosby of rape:

In 1969 I met Bill Cosby while working in New York for the late film producer Ray Stark. I was a 21-year-old single woman in the world’s most exciting city. He was a 32-year-old internationally known comedian and television star, one of the most likeable and popular entertainers in the business. He asked for my number and I gave it to him.

We began hanging out, took in a movie, watched television and ate pizza and hot dogs in my apartment with my roommate. He was married to his current wife and he acted like a perfect gentleman who didn’t come on to either of us, which, I have to admit, made me wonder what his objective was.

One night we were going out to a movie. We agreed to meet at an apartment that he said belonged to a friend of his. I had a terrible headache but didn’t want to cancel the evening. He told me he had a miracle cure his doctor had given him that would get rid of the headache. He went into another room and came back with a capsule. I asked a couple of times what it was. Each time he reassured me, asking, “Don’t you trust me?” Of course I did. This was Bill Cosby.

For more than 45 years I have tried to recall exactly what happened that night. To this day it remains a blur. I have a vague recollection of feeling like I was floating while walking through Times Square and watching some kind of Japanese samurai movie with him. I don’t remember where the theater was nor very much of the evening.

What I do recall, vividly and clearly, is waking up the next morning nude in the bed of his friend’s apartment and seeing Cosby wearing a white terrycloth bathrobe and acting as if there was nothing unusual. It was obvious to me that he had had sex with me. I was horrified, embarrassed and ashamed. There was a mirror above the bed, which shocked me further.

To Cosby’s defenders, Ladd is lying. She has an agenda. She is part of a vast conspiracy to keep Cosby off of television. To me, she is a brave woman who spoke up about being drugged and raped by a man whom many people continue to hold up as an icon.

I have to wonder, how long will people continue to think he’s a great man? Can you watch this clip and still think of Cosby as a good man who would never violate the boundaries of women and ignore their consent?

(source)

As Jay Leno said when he spoke about the allegations surrounding Billy Cosby, why is it so hard to believe women?

For a no-holds-barred skewering of Cosby, check out the second episode of Larry Willmore’s Nightly Show.

How many allegations will it take for people to believe Bill Cosby is a rapist?

Bill Cosby is not being intimidated

Tony Thompson, 1 Comment

Over at U.S. News & World Report, Peter Roff shares his thoughts on the sexual assault and rape allegations surrounding Bill Cosby. In his eyes, the court of public opinion has intimidated Bill Cosby:

Now that he stands accused of heinous acts against women, it has severely tarnished his star. I don’t know if he’s guilty as alleged; I don’t know that he’s guilty at all. What I do know is he is a very big target with an even bigger bankroll and that things may not be as they seem. There are two sides to every story, and he has yet to tell his. Is it possible that some people have come forward to tell a story because they see a big payday at the end of it all? Sure – just as it is possible that he did everything he is now accused of. What is important is that people keep, as Cosby himself has urged, an open mind.

I couldn’t find a way to comment over at U.S. News & World Report, otherwise, I’d have given Mr. Roff a piece of my mind.
Cosby is NOT…I repeat NOT…urging anyone to keep an open mind. What he’s doing is asking people to dismiss the allegations of 24+ women*.  Why should we dismiss their claims? Why should we believe that the claims are outrageous or nonsensical? I suspect he’s appealing to his public image. A public image shaped largely by (IMO) the character of Cliff Huxtable. A character who was warm, affable, and lovable. A character that many people view as interchangeable with Bill Cosby himself. If Cliff Huxtable was no rapist, then Bill Cosby is no rapist.

Logic. Logic. Wherefore art thou, logic?

Meanwhile, those who have come to his defense have been marginalized or shunned. TV Land has pulled “Cosby Show” reruns from its lineup; a planned sitcom with Cosby has allegedly been shelved; and his schedule of appearances seems to have been curtailed. In the court of public opinion, he has been found guilty without trial on the basis of how the media has hyped the allegations made against him.

Oh dear. A tv network removed the “Cosby Show” as a way to distance themselves from a celebrity accused of sexual assault and rape. OMG! That’s like, the worst of the worst that could happen to Cosby.
And, once again, someone whines about the public judging the actions of an individual as if the public has the same power as a court of law. Mr. Roff might be shocked to learn this but:

The “court” of public opinion ain’t a real courtroom.

The standards of a courtroom exist to offer protection to the accused. To ensure that they receive a fair trial, bc the outcome of a trial can determine the future freedom, or even the very life (depending on the case), of the accused. The decisions civilians make don’t hold the same power. We don’t have the power to imprison him. We don’t have the power to take his money and dispense it to his victims. We don’t have the power to sentence him to death. We are not bound by the rules of the courtroom bc the most power we have over Cosby is making him a social pariah. Not buying his books. Not watching his tv shows. Not watching his stand-up performances.

Also, I love how he plays the anti-media card. The media hasn’t “hyped” the stories of the 24 women who have come forward to tell their stories. The media has given voices to these women. The media has allowed these women to tell their stories. The women have been granted a platform to tell their stories. The media does this. Moreover, to the best of my knowledge, none of the articles I’ve read about the various allegations has offered any judgement of Bill Cosby.

Given how Mr. Roff criticizes the media for doing nothing more than reporting on these allegations, it seems to me, he’d prefer they NOT have done so. IOW…the stories of sexual assault and rape victims are not newsworthy material. They should not be reported on.  At least that’s my take-away from Roff’s whining.

*I’d also like to point out that dismissing or ignoring the claims of victims of sexual assault or rape is one of the many manifestations of Rape Culture in our society.

Bill Cosby is not being intimidated

3 more women come forward with accusations against Bill Cosby

Tony Thompson, ,

At last count 23 women had stepped forward and accused comedian Bill Cosby of drugging, sexually assaulting, or raping them. That number has risen by three more. In an article at Vanity Fair, former supermodel Beverly Johnson revealed that Cosby drugged her in the 80s:

Looking back, that first invite from Cosby to his home seems like part of a perfectly laid out plan, a way to make me feel secure with him at all times. It worked like a charm. Cosby suggested I come back to his house a few days later to read for the part. I agreed, and one late afternoon the following week I returned. His staff served a light dinner and Bill and I talked more about my plans for the future.

After the meal, we walked upstairs to a huge living area of his home that featured a massive bar. A huge brass espresso contraption took up half the counter. At the time, it seemed rare for someone to have such a machine in his home for personal use.

Cosby said he wanted to see how I handled various scenes, so he suggested that I pretend to be drunk. (When did a pregnant woman ever appear drunk on The Cosby Show? Probably never, but I went with it.)

As I readied myself to be the best drunk I could be, he offered me a cappuccino from the espresso machine. I told him I didn’t drink coffee that late in the afternoon because it made getting to sleep at night more difficult. He wouldn’t let it go. He insisted that his espresso machine was the best model on the market and promised I’d never tasted a cappuccino quite like this one.

It’s nuts, I know, but it felt oddly inappropriate arguing with Bill Cosby so I took a few sips of the coffee just to appease him.

Now let me explain this: I was a top model during the 70s, a period when drugs flowed at parties and photo shoots like bottled water at a health spa. I’d had my fun and experimented with my fair share of mood enhancers. I knew by the second sip of the drink Cosby had given me that I’d been drugged—and drugged good.

[Editor’s Note: Cosby’s attorneys did not respond to Vanity Fair’s requests for comment.]

My head became woozy, my speech became slurred, and the room began to spin nonstop. Cosby motioned for me to come over to him as though we were really about to act out the scene. He put his hands around my waist, and I managed to put my hand on his shoulder in order to steady myself.

As I felt my body go completely limp, my brain switched into automatic-survival mode. That meant making sure Cosby understood that I knew exactly what was happening at that very moment.

“You are a motherfucker aren’t you?”

That’s the exact question I yelled at him as he stood there holding me, expecting me to bend to his will. I rapidly called him several more “motherfuckers.” By the fifth, I could tell that I was really pissing him off. At one point he dropped his hands from my waist and just stood there looking at me like I’d lost my mind.

What happened next is somewhat cloudy for me because the drug was in fuller play by that time. I recall his seething anger at my tirade and then him grabbing me by my left arm hard and yanking all 110 pounds of me down a bunch of stairs as my high heels clicked and clacked on every step. I feared my neck was going to break with the force he was using to pull me down those stairs.

It was still late afternoon and the sun hadn’t completely gone down yet. When we reached the front door, he pulled me outside of the brownstone and then, with his hand still tightly clenched around my arm, stood in the middle of the street waving down taxis.

When one stopped, Cosby opened the door, shoved me into it and slammed the door behind me without ever saying a word. I somehow managed to tell the driver my address and before blacking out, I looked at the cabbie and asked, as if he knew: “Did I really just call Bill Cosby ‘a motherfucker’?”

Why that was even a concern of mine after what I’d just been through is still a mystery to me? I think my mind refused to process it.

The next day I woke up in my own bed after falling into a deep sleep that lasted most of the day. I had no memory of how I got into my apartment or into my bed, though most likely my doorman helped me out.

I sat in there still stunned by what happened the night before, confused and devastated by the idea that someone I admired so much had tried to take advantage of me, and used drugs to do so. Had I done something to encourage his actions?

In reality, I knew I’d done nothing to encourage Cosby but my mind kept turning with question after question.

It took a few days for the drug to completely wear off and soon I had to get back to work. I headed to California for an acting audition. Not long after arriving, I decided I needed to confront Cosby for my own sanity’s sake. I thought if I just called him, he would come clean and explain why he’d done what he had.

I dialed the private number he’d given me expecting to hear his voice on the other end. But he didn’t answer. His wife did. A little shocked, I quickly identified myself to her in the most respectful way possible and then asked to speak to Bill. Camille politely informed me that it was very late, 11:00 P.M. and that they were both in bed together.

I apologized for the late call and explained that I was in Los Angeles and had forgotten about the three-hour time difference. I added that I would call back tomorrow.

I didn’t call back the next day or any other day after that. At a certain moment it became clear that I would be fighting a losing battle with a powerful man so callous he not only drugged me, but he also gave me the number to the bedroom he shared with his wife. How could I fight someone that boldly arrogant and out of touch? In the end, just like the other women, I had too much to lose to go after Bill Cosby. I had a career that would no doubt take a huge hit if I went public with my story and I certainly couldn’t afford that after my costly divorce and on going court fees.

—

For a long time I thought it was something that only happened to me, and that I was somehow responsible. So I kept my secret to myself, believing this truth needed to remain in the darkness. But the last four weeks have changed everything, as so many women have shared similar stories, of which the press have belatedly taken heed.

Then there’s Chloe Goins:

One woman in particular who will sit down with LAPD is Chloe Goins. The 24-year-old model recently claimed that Cosby, now 77, spiked her drink and attacked her back in 2008 at the Playboy Mansion.

“I have had lengthy communications with the Los Angeles Police Department and there is now a definitive open investigation which is ongoing for, it’s my understanding, not only with Chloe’s case but other unnamed victims who have yet to be revealed publicly,” Mr. Kuvin added. “They want to get all their information first before sitting down and having an interview with Chloe about her incident. This is scheduled to happen early in the new year.”

Another woman, by the name of Lisa, has also come forward:

In an exclusive interview with Dr. Phil, Lisa speaks out for the first time about her alleged experience as a 21-year-old aspiring model when she says Cosby offered to help her career. She joins more than 20 women who have come forward in the media claiming that the legendary actor drugged and/or sexually assaulted them years ago.

“I was very excited to go and see him. I was star struck. I felt invincible. I couldn’t believe that he wanted to see me,” Lisa tells Dr. Phil. “I got to the hotel, he was a gentlemen and he was respectful and kind. And he seemed very interested in me, and that made me feel very secure in seeing him again … My mother trusted Bill completely.”

But Lisa claims he ended up betraying that trust during a mentoring session in his hotel suite.

 […]

“He made a second drink and had me drink the second drink as well,” she recalls. “I noticed myself getting a little dizzy. Bill had sat down on the edge of the couch. He said, ‘Come over here and have a seat.’ And he had his legs open and when I sat down, I was sitting down in between his legs with my back to his crotch. And he started to stroke my hair back in a petting motion like this. The last thing I remember is just feeling the strokes on my head. After that, I don’t remember anything else.”

Dr. Phil asks, “Do you know if he molested you in some way, do you know, you don’t really know what did happen?”

“No,” responds Lisa, who says she is coming forward after Janice Dickinson’s allegations against Cosby made Lisa concerned for what may have happened to her.

Cosby has remained largely silent in the face of these allegations, apparently at the behest of his lawyers. He did speak up recently with some advice for black media:

Bill Cosby broke his silence Friday, albeit briefly, to lecture the media on remaining “neutral” and to say that his wife is standing by him.

Reached at his Massachusetts home, the star declined to address the rape and sex abuse allegations from an ever-growing list of women that now includes supermodel Beverly Johnson.

Instead, Cosby, 77, said that the African-American media — for which this reporter often writes — should be impartial.

“Let me say this. I only expect the black media to uphold the standards of excellence in journalism and when you do that you have to go in with a neutral mind,” Cosby said.

Two thoughts:

1- A ‘neutral mind’? In the articles I’ve read about the ever-mounting allegations, I haven’t seen the media taking sides. I’ve seen them interviewing the women who have stepped forward with these claims. I guess in Cosby’s eyes, the mere fact that the media is reporting on the subject somehow shows a bias against him.  That’s not true in the slightest.  His call for black media to have a neutral mind sounds to me like someone who wants to silence the women who have bravely stepped forward.

2- In the wake of these allegations, Cosby has been pressed by the media, but aside from his lawyers dismissing the accusations as preposterous, he’s said nothing of substance. He hasn’t personally refuted these women, and even if he did, his word shouldn’t (and in my eyes doesn’t) outweigh even one of these women, let alone 24 of them.  I suspect he’s gambling on the affection the black community has for him, hoping that the love of Cliff Huxtable…the love of the guy who created Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids…the love of the guy who criticizes black men for wearing their pants “down around the crack”…all that love is enough for people to dismiss the charges against him.  Can’t speak for anyone else, but that’s not the case for me.  It doesn’t matter what accomplishments he has. It doesn’t matter how popular he is. It doesn’t matter how beloved he is. At the end of the day this is a question of whether or not to believe the accusations against him.  Me, I believe them.

3 more women come forward with accusations against Bill Cosby

Bill Cosby: 19 accusations and counting

Tony Thompson, 1 Comment

I have no problem saying this:  Bill Cosby is a serial rapist.  I have no problem saying this because rape happens.  A lot.

(and those are just the reported incidents of sexual assault)

It doesn’t matter that Bill Cosby played the charming, charismatic Cliff Huxtable.

It doesn’t matter that he’s the creator of Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids.

It doesn’t matter that he’s a beloved comedian.

It doesn’t matter that he’s a celebrity.

What matters is that women have accused Bill Cosby of raping them and I’m not going to disbelieve them simply because Cosby is a celebrity who I watched on television growing up. I’m not going to disbelieve these women because there’s a public image of Cosby as a warm, affable, kind person. To me, Bill Cosby is a stranger (and he’s a stranger to millions upon millions of other people too). I don’t know him (nor do millions upon millions of other people). To be honest, even if I did, there’s no way I could reasonably say “no way! He didn’t do this” bc people of all backgrounds engage in non-consensual sex.

Celebrities.

Politicians.

Doctors.

Lawyers.

Dentists.

Teachers.

Firefighters.

Custodians.

Frat boys.

Bartenders.

Military personnel.

White, Asian, Black, Hispanic people.

Heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual people.

The list goes on.

There is no demographic, no occupation, no social status that one can belong to or possess that places them in the category “cannot be a rapist”. Combine that with the fact that rapes happen all too often, and I see no reason to disbelieve the women who have accused Bill Cosby of rape (interestingly, I haven’t seen him state, unequivocally that he did not rape any of those women; of course, even if he had said that…he could be lying).

“But! But!! But!!!” you might say.

“What about false reports of sexual assault?” you might say.

To that I would say “estimates for the percentage of false reports begin to converge around 2-8%” (source). That tells me that out of 100 reports of sexual assault, less than 10% are false claims (and that doesn’t mean the accuser is lying either).  That tells me that the vast majority of accusers are being truthful.  That provides me sufficient justification for believing the women who have accused Bill Cosby of sexually assaulting them.

Speaking of those women, that number has increased once again.

It now sits at 19.

The list of women who have accused Bill Cosby of sexual assaulting them includes Angela Leslie, Andrea Constand, Barbara Bowman, Beth Ferrier, Janice Dickinson, Joan Tarshis, Tamara Green, Therese Serignese, Carla Ferrigno, Louisa Moritz, Angela Leslie, and Linda Joy Traitz.

We can add Michelle Hurd, Renita Chaney Hill, Victoria Valentino, Joyce Emmons, Kristina Ruehli, Jewel Allison, and Jena T. to that list.

There is also an unnamed woman mentioned in this Salon article, who may or may not be one of the above 19.

This should be damning.  For 19+ people to accuse Bill Cosby of sexually assaulting them…that should mean something.  And I think, finally, it is beginning to.  He was set to perform at Treasure Island Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas and the Diamond Desert Casino in Arizona.  Both casinos have cancelled upcoming shows by the 77-year old comedian. His January show at Foxwoods Resort Casino has also been cancelled. All of that is in addition to the cancellation of Cosby’s planned NBC sitcom, TV Land pulling repeats of “The Cosby Show”, and Netflix postponing a planned Thanksgiving special (though notably, they did not cancel the special).

Bill Cosby has sexually assaulted multiple women over the last 40 years and gotten away with it. It’s high time he was made to pay in some way for his assaults.  I doubt he’ll ever see the inside of a courtroom over the allegations, so I’m heartened by the backlash he’s receiving.

Note: Having just read about another new allegation against Bill Cosby, I double checked this post and realized I listed Angela Leslie twice, which means the title of this post should be ‘Bill Cosby: 18 accusations and counting’.  I could have edited the post to reflect this, but I figured I’d own my mistake publicly.

Bill Cosby: 19 accusations and counting

The many faces of Rape Culture

Tony Thompson,

Trigger Warning: rape and sexual assault

In the wake of the numerous allegations against Bill Cosby, as well as the allegations against Jian Ghomeshi (who has now been charged with four counts of sexual assault and one count of overcome resistance) people are talking about rape, sexual assault, and Rape Culture.  I know there are many people who deny that Rape Culture exists.  These people tend to think of the term in a literal sense, i.e. “a culture that endorses and promotes rape”.  That is NOT what Rape Culture is.  Rape Culture is defined as:

[…] an environment in which rape is prevalent and in which sexual violence against women is normalized and excused in the media and popular culture.  Rape culture is perpetuated through the use of misogynistic language, the objectification of women’s bodies, and the glamorization of sexual violence, thereby creating a society that disregards women’s rights and safety.

Below are several links that show the many faces of Rape Culture in the United States.

Eminem targets Iggy Azalea with rape threats

In a disturbing one-minute preview of Vegas, a song believed to be on his upcoming album, Eminem graphically depicts violence aimed at Iggy Azalea.

“So what’s it gon’ be? Put that s— away Iggy/You don’t wanna blow that rape whistle on me/Scream!/I love it/’Fore I get lost with the gettin’ off.” he raps in the preview, leaked on Wednesday.

Azalea, herself still fresh from her online feud with Snoop Dogg, has already hit back hard on Twitter.

“im bored of the old men threatening young women as entertainment trend and much more interested in the young women getting $ trend. zzzz, [sic]” the 24-year-old tweeted on Friday morning.

When a popular musician recites lyrics that depict graphic sexualized violence, you know that sexualized violence against women has been normalized in society. This shouldn’t be normal. It shouldn’t be acceptable.  Yet Eminem is insanely popular and people will make excuses for what he says, no matter what vile shit tumbles from his tongue.

* * * *

Staten Island gastropub slammed for selling ‘Roofie Colada’ drink

A New York gastropub has been forced to pull a controversially named “Roofie Colada” dessert drink from its menu after facing online backlash.

The Phunky Elephant, in Staten Island, started catching serious heat last week after complainants claimed that the beverage made fun of date rape, reports SILive.com.

Owner Patricia Gaja said the syrupy concoction was added to the eatery’s list in June and derived from a joke made on the “Family Guy” cartoon.

But critics described it as “harmful” because it “normalized roofies as a date rape drug.”

They also claimed it made it acceptable to joke about a type of behavior that often leads to rape or sexual assault, reports SILive.com

“Even with all that whipped cream you can’t make a rape joke palatable. Roofie Colada = Not Funny,” wrote Lauren Marie Cappello on the restaurant’s Facebook page.

The owner of this restaurant thought it was a cute idea to call the dessert “Roofie Colada”. It’s like she didn’t give any thought to what a roofie is and how it is almost always discussed in society.  Roofies are sedatives that rapists often add to drinks to render their victims incapacitated or unconscious. They are not a laughing matter. They are not a subject to be treated lightly. Certainly, Roofie anything should not be the name of a dessert. Doing so is yet another example of a society in which rape is normalized and trivialized.

 * * * *

A Rape on Campus: A Brutal Assault and Struggle for Justice at UVA

Extra Trigger Warning: graphic discussion of sexual assault

This Rolling Stone article about sexual assault at the University of Virginia is long and detailed.  It is also quite worth the read.  You’ll read about multiple sexual assaults on the campus of UVA and how the victims chose to handle their assaults. You’ll also shake your head in anger and dismay when you read about how UVA officials handled these cases. There is so much quotable material here that I had trouble deciding what to excerpt. I chose the following because it shows how deeply entrenched Rape Culture is in our society.

[S]ipping from a plastic cup, Jackie grimaced, then discreetly spilled her spiked punch onto the sludgy fraternity-house floor. The University of Virginia freshman wasn’t a drinker, but she didn’t want to seem like a goody-goody at her very first frat party – and she especially wanted to impress her date, the handsome Phi Kappa Psi brother who’d brought her here. Jackie was sober but giddy with discovery as she looked around the room crammed with rowdy strangers guzzling beer and dancing to loud music. She smiled at her date, whom we’ll call Drew, a good-looking junior – or in UVA parlance, a third-year – and he smiled enticingly back.

“Want to go upstairs, where it’s quieter?” Drew shouted into her ear, and Jackie’s heart quickened. She took his hand as he threaded them out of the crowded room and up a staircase.

Four weeks into UVA’s 2012 school year, 18-year-old Jackie was crushing it at college. A chatty, straight-A achiever from a rural Virginia town, she’d initially been intimidated by UVA’s aura of preppy success, where throngs of toned, tanned and overwhelmingly blond students fanned across a landscape of neoclassical brick buildings, hurrying to classes, clubs, sports, internships, part-time jobs, volunteer work and parties; Jackie’s orientation leader had warned her that UVA students’ schedules were so packed that “no one has time to date – people just hook up.” But despite her reservations, Jackie had flung herself into campus life, attending events, joining clubs, making friends and, now, being asked on an actual date. She and Drew had met while working lifeguard shifts together at the university pool, and Jackie had been floored by Drew’s invitation to dinner, followed by a “date function” at his fraternity, Phi Kappa Psi. The “upper tier” frat had a reputation of tremendous wealth, and its imposingly large house overlooked a vast manicured field, giving “Phi Psi” the undisputed best real estate along UVA’s fraternity row known as Rugby Road.

Jackie had taken three hours getting ready, straightening her long, dark, wavy hair. She’d congratulated herself on her choice of a tasteful red dress with a high neckline. Now, climbing the frat-house stairs with Drew, Jackie felt excited. Drew ushered Jackie into a bedroom, shutting the door behind them. The room was pitch-black inside. Jackie blindly turned toward Drew, uttering his name. At that same moment, she says, she detected movement in the room – and felt someone bump into her. Jackie began to scream.

“Shut up,” she heard a man’s voice say as a body barreled into her, tripping her backward and sending them both crashing through a low glass table. There was a heavy person on top of her, spreading open her thighs, and another person kneeling on her hair, hands pinning down her arms, sharp shards digging into her back, and excited male voices rising all around her. When yet another hand clamped over her mouth, Jackie bit it, and the hand became a fist that punched her in the face. The men surrounding her began to laugh. For a hopeful moment Jackie wondered if this wasn’t some collegiate prank. Perhaps at any second someone would flick on the lights and they’d return to the party.

“Grab its motherfucking leg,” she heard a voice say. And that’s when Jackie knew she was going to be raped.

She remembers every moment of the next three hours of agony, during which, she says, seven men took turns raping her, while two more – her date, Drew, and another man – gave instruction and encouragement. She remembers how the spectators swigged beers, and how they called each other nicknames like Armpit and Blanket. She remembers the men’s heft and their sour reek of alcohol mixed with the pungency of marijuana. Most of all, Jackie remembers the pain and the pounding that went on and on.

As the last man sank onto her, Jackie was startled to recognize him: He attended her tiny anthropology discussion group. He looked like he was going to cry or puke as he told the crowd he couldn’t get it up. “Pussy!” the other men jeered. “What, she’s not hot enough for you?” Then they egged him on: “Don’t you want to be a brother?” “We all had to do it, so you do, too.” Someone handed her classmate a beer bottle. Jackie stared at the young man, silently begging him not to go through with it. And as he shoved the bottle into her, Jackie fell into a stupor, mentally untethering from the brutal tableau, her mind leaving behind the bleeding body under assault on the floor.

When Jackie came to, she was alone. It was after 3 a.m. She painfully rose from the floor and ran shoeless from the room. She emerged to discover the Phi Psi party still surreally under way, but if anyone noticed the barefoot, disheveled girl hurrying down a side staircase, face beaten, dress spattered with blood, they said nothing. Disoriented, Jackie burst out a side door, realized she was lost, and dialed a friend, screaming, “Something bad happened. I need you to come and find me!” Minutes later, her three best friends on campus – two boys and a girl (whose names are changed) – arrived to find Jackie on a nearby street corner, shaking. “What did they do to you? What did they make you do?” Jackie recalls her friend Randall demanding. Jackie shook her head and began to cry. The group looked at one another in a panic. They all knew about Jackie’s date; the Phi Kappa Psi house loomed behind them. “We have to get her to the hospital,” Randall said.

Their other two friends, however, weren’t convinced. “Is that such a good idea?” she recalls Cindy asking. “Her reputation will be shot for the next four years.” Andy seconded the opinion, adding that since he and Randall both planned to rush fraternities, they ought to think this through. The three friends launched into a heated discussion about the social price of reporting Jackie’s rape, while Jackie stood beside them, mute in her bloody dress, wishing only to go back to her dorm room and fall into a deep, forgetful sleep. Detached, Jackie listened as Cindy prevailed over the group: “She’s gonna be the girl who cried ‘rape,’ and we’ll never be allowed into any frat party again.”

Rape Culture is so deeply entrenched in society that some of Jackie’s “friends” were more worried about her reputation or their status in a fraternity. She was just sexually assaulted and they’re not only sitting around debating what to do, but they’re worried about how her rape will affect them (and why the fuck are they even thinking about their membership in a fraternity in the first place? Is that so much more important than the anguish and pain of a friend)?! Did they ever fucking think about asking Jackie what she wanted to do (I’m not certain about automatically taking her to a hospital either.  I would lean toward doing what the victim wants in this situation)?  Probably not, because they seemed too worried about other bullshit. Reputation and fraternities be damned.

* * * *

In the wake of the above Rolling Stone article, the president of UVA has suspended all fraternities until January 9

Faced with mounting pressure from students, faculty and alumni, University of Virginia President Teresa Sullivan suspended all campus fraternities Saturday, an action prompted by a searing magazine account of an alleged 2012 gang rape inside a fraternity house at the school.

The suspension, which includes sororities and other Greek organizations, will continue until Jan. 9, the Friday before the spring semester is to begin, Sullivan said in a statement posted on the university’s Web site.

“In the intervening period we will assemble groups of students, faculty, alumni, and other concerned parties to discuss our next steps in preventing sexual assault and sexual violence on Grounds,” she said, using university parlance for its Charlottesville campus.

Sullivan’s lengthy statement was the most dramatic sign that the 195-year-old university, which prides itself as a bastion of tradition, gentility and honor, was reeling from charges­ that it failed to reckon with a culture of excessive drinking and sexual misconduct on campus.

The article in Rolling Stone magazine, posted online Wednesday, describes a brutal sexual assault that allegedly occurred in the Phi Kappa Psi house. The victim, who was given an alias by the magazine, said a fraternity member led her upstairs during a party and into a dark room, where several men raped her.

On Friday, the magazine published additional accounts from anonymous U-Va. students describing on-campus rapes and an inadequate response from the university officials contacted by the victims.

The university’s Board of Visitors will meet Tuesday to discuss the allegations, as well as policies and procedures on sexual assault, Sullivan said.

One prominent board member, former rector Helen Dragas, posted to the university’s Facebook page to say she had learned that a college friend “had the exact same thing happen to her in a fraternity house.”

“I never knew it,” wrote Dragas, who attended U-Va. in the early 1980s, “and I was really shaken that women were being victimized then, and still are more than thirty years later. This is a serious problem, to say the least. We need to solve it.”

After the suspension was announced, Dragas said in an e-mail that she’d heard “reactions around Grounds ranging from ‘not nearly enough’ to ‘it implies all our sons are guilty.’ ”

Sullivan’s statement came after more than 1,000 students and faculty members signed a letter sent Friday night calling on the president to freeze activities for groups under investigation for sexual assault and for a suspension of Greek-letter organizations throughout the weekend.

Hundreds attended a rally Thursday, and dozens more marched through campus Friday calling for new efforts to combat “rape culture” at the university, according to reports in the student-run Cavalier Daily. On Saturday afternoon, four protesters were arrested for trespassing at the Phi Kappa Psi house, said Lt. Stephen Upman, a Charlottesville police spokesman

“People were unsatisfied with [Sullivan’s] initial response,” said Retsy Holliday, a senior foreign affairs majors who was one of the drafters of the letter. “This was our cry for more action. And she responded.”

* * * *

A selection of supportive responses to the Rolling Stone article

Sadly 
I was also raped at UVA in a frat house in 2013. I reported it through the Sexual Misconduct Board at the University and had it tried in 2014. My evidence included texts calling for help, police testimony consistent with mine, and numerous witnesses. But the University still found him innocent. I found Nicole Eramo very unfeeling as well — sociopathic, almost. She later told me she didn’t believe the studies that showed rapists, in particular, were repeat offenders of this heinous crime. It was a very negative experience to go through — to be raped and then told that your offender was innocent. I even left clothing as I ran out of the frat house that the University gathered as evidence and it was never returned to me. Not that the clothing was important. It wasn’t. The police discouraged me from pursuing it criminally, saying that I didn’t have enough evidence to win. They also told me that I should be cautious about pursuing this formally, since court proceedings and news articles related to my case could spread publicly on the Internet. For privacy reasons (I didn’t want future employers to Google me and see that I brought forward rape charges), I decided to pursue justice through the University. But the outcome of this process was painful and disappointing. I will never stop wondering why UVA so often expels students for academic lying, cheating, and stealing but has never once expelled a student for rap.

Guest D 
My best friend is a survivor of sexual assault at UVA and she has told me numerous times that Dean Eramo was a constant source of support through the entire process. The article is accurate in bringing to light the fact that changes need to be made, however little progress will be made by firing people who are trying to help student.

SK
I am so sorry for what happened to you, Jackie, and I wish I had been brave enough my freshman year to report what happened to me. But fearing the very same things – backlash, no consequences – I chose to stay quiet. I support you, I am proud of you and what you did is going to change lives. You are forcing an administration to admit its wrongdoings, and you are getting national attention, which will help to stop this misogyny, violence and pain from affecting more people. I know that feeling like a martyr is never going to feel as good as the girl you were before this happened to you, but your struggle has significance and you are needed in this world. 

There are 11 more responses. They’re worth reading, but they are rage inducing because they all demonstrate that rape is not treated seriously in our culture. The problems on the campus of UVA reach back decades.  And no, sexual assault is not just a problem on UVA, and no one ever said it was. What has been said is that it IS a problem and it needs to be dealt with rather than swept under the rug. Campus officials need to foster a climate that is supportive towards the victims of sexual assault and they need to ensure that any sexual assault counselors possess sufficient empathy for the job. They need to provide better resources for survivors and they need to stop worrying about the potential damage rape allegations can bring and focus more on the needs of rape victims. They also need mandatory campus wide education on sexual assault.

The many faces of Rape Culture

I believe you Barbara Bowman

Tony Thompson4 Comments

Beloved actor.

Comedian extraordinaire.

Small screen kinda hearted father.

Bill Cosby has been all these things and more to millions of Americans. Barbara Bowman sees him as one thing:  a rapist.

Bowman recently and very publicly said that “The Cosby Show” father, 77, raped her several times during her teenage years. She claimed that the veteran TV star had emotionally and sexually abused her, reported the Daily Mail.

“I was drugged and raped by that man,” she tells MailOnline. “He is a monster. He came at me like a monster. My hope is that others who have experienced sexual abuse will not be intimidated into silence by the famous, rich and powerful. If I can help one victim, then I’ve done my job.”

Recently, Bowman heard comedian Hannibal Buress refer to Cosby as a “serial rapist.” And she said that this action compelled her to tell her story of abuse.

During an interview with MailOnline, Bowman “described in chilling detail how Cosby manipulated her into believing he was a father figure and took advantage of her youth, vulnerability and yes, even ambition, to have his way with her over and over again.”

The actress, now 47, grew up in Denver, Colorado, with her mother raising her. She began studying acting and modeling at Denver’s top agency at the time, J.F. Images at age 13.

What began as a dream come true with a private audition for Cosby in 1985 turned into painful agony just two years later, said Bowman. Terrifying memories of being pinned down to the comic’s hotel bed caused her to kept silent for three decades.

But now, she said she has the strength to speak out.

“I’m finally revealing all of my full story in hopes that others will learn to read the tell-tale signs of abuse and not wait as long as I did,” said Bowman. “No one believed me for years. They said Bill would never do that. That it was preposterous. But I’m putting my name out there and standing behind these words, just like Burress. No more code of silence.”

Bowman continued, “I’ve been silent too long. It’s time to raise a fuss. I’m a real person that this happened to. And it’s taken decades to get over what he did to me.”

The woman said that she is grateful to Burress for what he said about Cosby.

“I thank Hannibal Burress for speaking out over and over again, despite the threats from the Industry that it could ruin his career. He is standing up for me and the other women who are too afraid to speak out. And the timing couldn’t be better. It sickens me to think he’ll be on TV again, playing a father, no less.”

I was a child of the 80s. I watched The Cosby Show for years. I grew up with Cliff Huxtable.  He’s a great guy. He would never rape anyone. I’m sure that feeling is shared by scores of Americans. The idea that a highly regarded actor like Bill Cosby could sexually abuse someone is so hard to believe.  People like Bill Cosby, who play characters like Cliff Huxtable cannot possibly be rapists, right?

Wrong.

See, when it comes to rape and sexual assault, the fact is that we don’t really know who is and who isn’t capable of it. No matter how a person may act on television, they are still acting. The character they portray is not who they are, no matter how amiable they may seem.  We don’t know Bill Cosby. He may be a comedian who has made us laugh, but we don’t know Bill Cosby. He may have played a character that gave millions of people a view into the lives of African-Americans, but we don’t know Bill Cosby.  He may have given us the educational children’s show Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids, but we don’t know Bill Cosby.

We think we do, and we think that matters in deciding whether or not we believe Barbara Bowman. It doesn’t, because even those people we know…those people we love…those people we trust…those people can betray us. Those people can hurt us. Those people can sexually abuse us.  Teachers, priests, police officers, parents…they can and do sexually assault us. Knowing someone. Not knowing someone. It doesn’t matter when deciding to believe victims of sexual assault.

So don’t base your decision to support Barbara Bowman on your knowledge of Bill Cosby. Base your decision to support her on the frequency with which rape occurs in our culture. Base your decision on the fact that sex without consent occurs every single day and is committed by people from all walks of life. Base your decision on the scary fact that anyone could be a rapist, because there is no specific type of person who rapes. Base your decision on the fact that women are routinely dismissed or called liars when they report sexual assault, which sends the signal to other women to not speak up. Remaining silent in the face of sexual assault compounds the pain victims feel. They need people to believe them. They need people to support them.

That’s why I believe Barbara Bowman, and so should you.

* * * *

Note: The court of public opinion is not a court of law. Stating that I support and believe Barbara Bowman means that when she says “Bill Cosby raped me”, I believe her.  I do not have any power over Bill Cosby. I am not a lawyer prosecuting him. I am not a judge presiding over his trial. I am not on a jury capable of sentencing him. As a private citizen, I am not bound by the legal rules that state “innocent til proven guilty”. That is a courtroom standard intended to ensure a fair trial for the accused.

Also, for those who cry “tell the police”, the statute of limitations has expired, so there’s no way she can take him to court, so this isn’t a matter for the police. This is a case of a victim coming forward and telling her story, with the intent of warning others.

I believe you Barbara Bowman

Thursday Link Roundup

Tony Thompson, , ,

Scientists have found Waterworld!

Psych!

Actually, scientists have detected water vapor in the atmosphere of an exoplanet far outside of Earth’s solar system.

Observations of the Neptune-sized planet, which lies 120 light years from Earth in the constellation of Cygnus, revealed that its atmosphere was mostly hydrogen with around 25% made up from water vapour.

Until now, researchers have been frustrated in their efforts to study the atmospheres of planets much smaller than Jupiter because their skies were thick with clouds. The problem was so persistent that astronomers had begun to think that all warm, small planets formed with substantial cloud cover.

But writing in the journal Nature, scientists in the US describe how they found a Neptune-sized planet with cloud-free skies, enabling them to make detailed measurements of a small planet’s atmosphere for the first time.

The planet, named HAT-P-11b, is about four times the diameter of Earth. It orbits so close to its star that surface temperatures reach more than 600C and a year passes in five Earth days. Like our own Neptune, the planet lacks a rocky surface – it’s a ball of gas – and is thought to be lifeless.

Scientists from the University of Maryland used Hubble’s wide field camera to analyse light from HAT-P-11b’s host star through the planet’s atmosphere. They found that light with a wavelength of 1.4 micrometres was absorbed, matching the absorption spectrum of water molecules.

“Although this planet is not classically habitable, it reveals to us that when we find Earth 2.0, we will be able to use this technique, transmission spectroscopy, to understand its atmosphere and determine the quality of life available on its shores,” said Jonathan Fraine, a graduate student and first author on the study.

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Grrrr, FOX News goes full on victim blaming:

Earlier this week, Forbes severed its relationship with columnist Bill Frezza after backlash from a column titled “Drunk Female Guests Are the Gravest Threat To Fraternities.” The article, which was eventually taken down, included a photograph of a barely conscious woman lying on the floor drinking wine.

“[W]e have very little control over women who walk in the door carrying enough pre-gaming booze in their bellies to render them unconscious before the night is through,” Frezza wrote. “Based on new standards being promulgated on campus, all consent is null and void the minute a woman becomes intoxicated — even if she is your fiancée.”

“In our age of sexual equality, why drunk female students are almost never characterized as irresponsible jerks is a question I leave to the feminists.”

On Thursday’s edition of Outnumbered, hosts Andrea Tantaros and Kirsten Powers agreed that women should take more responsibility for preventing themselves from being in situations where they could be sexually assaulted.

And just what situations are you referring to? All frat parties? Are you really going to tar every frat party, and thus every fratboy as potential rapists? Is your opinion of men that horrible?
Secondly, how do you account for the women that go to frat parties and aren’t raped?
Thirdly, are you saying if women don’t go to frat parties they won’t get raped? Really? Because last time I checked-women get raped at home, at school, at church, at the supermarket, on the street, at work, and pretty much any location you can think of. There is no “safe place” to avoid being raped.
Fourthly, rapists are responsible for raping. Stop putting the onus on women to magically stop a rapist from deciding to rape. Men can control their dicks and it’s ridiculous and victim blaming BS to claim otherwise. I may be gay, but I’ve been in plenty of situations where ::SURPRISE:: I didn’t flop out my penis and start raping. Why? Because I choose not to be a rapist. Other men are just as capable of making the same choices.

Tantaros argued that the columnist had expressed a “legitimate fear” that drunk women could destroy the fraternity system.

“I don’t know why this writer is taking so much heat because this is actually a problem that goes on,” she insisted. “These girls show up at these fraternity houses. The guys, what are they supposed to do? Lock them out? ‘Hey, how are you?’ They have a couple more beers, the girl passes out… so it is a legitimate fear.”

Co-host Kennedy Montgomery pointed out that not allowing drunk girls into the house was “exactly” what fraternities should do.

“They walk up to guys’ rooms, they get lost in the fraternity house,” Tantaros said. “Maybe they get drunk as the night goes on playing beer pong.”

Co-host Sandra Smith observed that it could be “the fault of the fraternities that have… no policies to handle this.”

“Don’t let them in the door in the first place,” she said. “Call somebody, get some help, don’t let them in the door.”

Tantaros agreed that there was an issue of “girls getting too drunk and men taking advantage of them. However, where’s the personal responsibility for both sides?”

“Really! If we say personal responsibility for women, the feminist go berserk,” she added. “They’re like, ‘No, we should be able to wear whatever we want, and drink as much as we want, and pass out in the streets.’”

“It makes the drunk girl completely clean no matter what happens — and again, we have to say it because some cuckoo person is going to start blogging how we are supporting women getting raped, which we do not support,” Powers remarked. “And she is not guilty or any of those things, but the point is that the drunk woman is — she’s just not held accountable for anything. The drunk guy, however, is supposed to make all these amazingly perfect decisions, and not make any mistakes.”

You can fuck the fuck off with that victim blaming bullshit.  Victims of rape are not responsible for their rape. Period. There’s nothing they can do to stop being raped because they aren’t the ones doing the rape.  Rapists rape. If rapists stop raping, rape won’t happen.  The drunk guy is expected to make one goddamn decision- TO NOT RAPE.  That’s not an “amazingly perfect decision”, it’s what any decent human being should do.  Grrrr…

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Go gay bashing and get less than 24 hours in jail!

They spent less than 24 hours in jail.

24-year-old Philip Williams, 24-year-old Kathryn Knott, and 26-year-old Kevin Harrigan all made bail and were released at 3:30 AM this morning.

Williams and Harrigan had bail set at $75,000 each, and Knott at $50,000 each. No word on why the amounts were different. It could be the judge sees their roles differently or their risk of flight differently.

They are all charged with Aggravated Assault, Simple Assault, Reckless Endangerment and Criminal Conspiracy.

All three were part of a gang of friends who were out to dinner September 11. Most or all of the group are believed to be friends from a local Philadelphia Catholic high school.

I bet if they were Hispanic or Black, they’d be sitting in their cells a good long while.  Also, their bail probably would have been higher.

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The International Olympic Committee has adopted a Non-Discrimination Clause

They couldn’t have done this sooner? Like, before Sochi?

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Gay couple in Azerbaijan fear for lives after engagement photo is shared by media

The president of Nefas LGBT Azerbaijan Alliance fears for his life and that of his fiance, according to the group’s Facebook page.

A photo of their engagement posted on social media was then published by media outlets in the Caspian Sea country without their permission.

Homosexuality is not illegal in Azerbaijan but there is strong public disapproval of gay people who are seen as abnormal.

Javid (Atilla) Nabiyev has since received death threats on his Facebook profile and has deactivated it.

Thursday Link Roundup

Hey Dick! [trigger warning: rape]

Tony Thompson, , 4 Comments

Richard Dawkins continues his descent into utter assholery.

The Tweets he is referring to can be found here.

So now Dawkins is claiming that whether or not someone can remember being raped has bearing on whether or not they were actually raped.  As if not being able to remember being raped somehow means a victim wasn’t raped.  I think we’ll call this the Cee-lo Green defense.

The singer Cee Lo Green has discussed a court case in which he pleaded no contest to supplying ecstasy to a woman in a series of tweets, including one that read : “People who have really been raped REMEMBER!!!”

The woman had claimed that she had no memory of the period between dining with Green at a sushi restaurant in 2012 and waking up naked in the singer’s bed.

Green’s lawyer argued that Green, 40, and the woman had “consensual relations”. No rape charges were filed due to lack of evidence.

Both Cee-lo Green and Richard Dawkins fail to understand (or they do understand but simply don’t care) that if there is no consent to sex, it is rape. If a woman says “I can’t remember what happened”, that doesn’t mean no rape happened. In fact, if she says that, you’ve likely crossed a line, bc you had sex with someone who was possibly impaired.  If your thought processes are impaired, you can’t give informed consent. Without informed consent, IT. IS. RAPE.

Hey Dick! [trigger warning: rape]