Guys, all women deserve to be treated with respect and decency.

There’s something rotten in the world.

Something that is responsible for everything from one on one fisticuffs up to and including global conflict.

Something that is responsible for atrocities in every city, every town, every country the world over.

Something whose toxicity has inflicted innumerable examples of physical, emotional, psychological, and sexual abuse upon roughly half the population of the planet

Yeah, us.

I have a friend (a woman) who is looking for a roommate–not a guy. She did not elaborate on why (and I would not ask), but I can hazard a few guesses.
Those guesses remind me of the danger that men have posed and continue to pose to women.
Sexual assault.
Sexual harassment.
Street harassment.
Boundary violation.
Physical abuse.
Emotional abuse.
Psychological abuse.
(Not a complete list)
I am reminded of Schrodingers Rapist. That women do not know the character of men when they first encounter them. A mental calculus has to be made and with as often as men commit battery/assault, rape, sexual assault, and more, I completely understand women taking care of themselves first and foremost. If that means avoiding men, wanting nothing to do with men, not wanting to live with men, or even saying “I hate all men”, so be it. It is their safety and well-being that is and should take precedence.
But it does not have to be this way. If I strain, I can juuuuuuuuuuuust imagine a world where men are not a threat to….

…you know what?
I cannot even imagine that world. I wish I could, but the world we live in has seen so much violence against women at the hands of men…SO MUCH FUCKING VIOLENCE…that imagining a world without that violence?
Imagining a world where friendship with a woman is completely accepted by men…accepted, understood, and welcomed. With no reference or thought of hurt feelings, whining about no sex, and no whining about “friendzones”…
A world where a woman could be roommates with a man and her biggest concern is “Who’s turn is it to wash dishes?”
We do not live in that world. We live in a world that is all too often a goddamn nightmare. A nightmare of horrific proportions.
A nightmare that is
Its on us, guys.
We can do better.
We MUST do better.
And if you consider yourself a decent person…
A decent human being…
A decent guy…
You WILL work to treat women with decency and respect.
All women.
Not just white, cishet, abled, NT, women.
Trans women.
Trans Women of Color.
Physically or mentally disabled women.
NeuroDivergent women.
Women of Color.
And all variations and permutations of the above.
I know we can do it guys.
So lets fucking DO IT.

Guys, all women deserve to be treated with respect and decency.

8 thoughts on “Guys, all women deserve to be treated with respect and decency.

  1. 5

    (incidentally, if you’re a troll or MRA or antifeminist and you don’t like this post, sucks to be you bc you’re not getting through moderation and your comment is going to be deleted. My house. My rules. And you fuckers are not welcome. Yes, that includes the shithead whose comment was just deleted.)

  2. 6

    I’m going to point out that the statistics say that there is a problem group of those with antisocial personality disorder (psychopaths). Although they come in all genders (and the only one I’ve personally met and identified was female), the stats say *far* more of them are men than women (as with a lot of outlier medical conditions).

    Not all of them are actually engaging in anti-social behavior but many are.

    If these sociopathic people manage to somehow *influence groups of people*, they create similar behavior in other people: it’s sometimes called situational sociopathy. It was studied in corporate boardrooms: one or two board members who were happy to poison innocent people would somehow convince all the other board members that it was just fine to do so.

    Most people are easily influenced, unfortunately. (As a side note, the easily-influenced scare me far more than the sociopaths, due to their sheer numbers.)

    So a few sociopaths with influence can create social license to do evil which causes a herd of weak-willed, easily-influenced men to follow them.

    This is how you get fraternities where nearly all the members are sexually assaulting and raping people. There’s typically one sociopath (possibly a long-graduated alum) and they’ve created a culture around what he wanted.

    For an example who had far more power: Ibn Saud.

    Anyway, there are three things to do to dismantle this:
    (1) eliminate the social license by not accepting the “stories” of the sociopaths and situational sociopaths, and denouncing them. This changes the behavior of the easily-influenced.
    (2) create new charistmatic leaders modeling good behavior. This also changes the behavior of the easily-influenced more significantly. You’re working on it here, with the statement “if you believe you’re a decent person….”… This will affect the easily-influenced. It won’t affect the sociopaths.
    (3) identify and isolate the actual sociopaths. This… is harder, but we finally started. Since it hasn’t been actually socially acceptable to assault people for at least 150 years, the sociopaths’ favorite thing is to hide amongst others and to try to get all the others to behave like them, which they are dangerously good at doing. When I say we finally started I mean it’s only in the last 5 years, since enough women (and men) are no longer ashamed of being attacked, that the evidence against the sociopaths has been matter-0f-factly published.

    Anyway, I guess what I’m saying is that those sociopaths will always exist and they will always attack. As soon as separatist all-female communities were organized, sociopathic women moved in on them and started preying on them… If we get rid of the society which enables male abusers, we will get rid of the situational sociopaths, and it will become a much safer place for women… but we’ll still have the true sociopaths themselves, and we have to have a permanent mechanism for identifying and isolating them.

    Unfortunately, they have a nasty tendency to become President. Or CEO. This is due to the easily-influenced people, who they very successfully manipulate to get to the top. So I consider the primary problem to be one of: how do we prevent these people from attaining power and influence, and throw them out of power when they do have it? (For instance, how do we get proven rapist Michael Shermer to be fired from Scientific American?)

  3. 7

    To be clear, that’s “Michael Shermer, proven rapist based on the preponderance of the evidence, presented after the statute of limitations expired”, not “proven beyond a reasonable doubt”

  4. 8

    I never claimed that it was “proven beyond a reasonable doubt’. I’m not in a court of law, so I don’t feel the need to add such a legal disclaimer. Based on the preponderance of the evidence, I do believe Michael Shermer is a rapist.

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