Speakeasy #12

Welcome to the social thread at the Progressive Pub. Here at the Speakeasy, you can metaphorically put your feet up, grab a virtual beverage from your resident bartender (me), and socialize with the regulars. Gab, share recipes, share news, rage about your problems or the problems of the world, discuss impending vacations, share book recommendations, talk about your jobs and your families, your hopes and dreams, and pretty much anything else you want. Everyone is welcome, just be kind to one another (and leave bigotry at the door).

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Speakeasy #12
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844 thoughts on “Speakeasy #12

  1. 1

    We have a nest of mockingbirdlings in the cactus in front of our house. Poor Shadow went out for her morning sniff and got dive-bombed by one of the parents.

    Also too, posting to subscribe to the thread.

  2. 3

    My package of jewelry supplies supposed to be delivered today is suddenly tracking as delivered. Not here it wasn’t; we haven’t gotten any mail at all.

    So either it’s been misdelivered somewhere else, and I may never get it, or the carrier decided to scan all their packages and dump them back at the PO so they could leave work early. Both have happened. Of course no one answered when I called the PO, so I fought my way through the email reporting system to report the package as missing. I was looking forward to that stuff. It was going to be my fun thing for the week, and I deserved some fun.

    I know, first world problems. It just feels like I’m being picked on lately.

  3. 10

    rq,
    No problem. I have a day off work (Corpius Christi is a public holiday here), so I have time 😉

    Here, have a cup of coffee. I made a whole pot again, and I’m trying to drink less. It drives my anxiety levels through the roof.

  4. rq
    11

    Oooh, thanks! It’s a cold-ish and almost-rainy day here and Husband left the bedroom window open. A hot coffee seems just the thing!

  5. 12

    rq,

    We’re finally getting some serious sunshine here again.
    And I should be studying. I postponed the exam so now I have 10 more days to study that I shouldn’t be wasting.

    But I’m practicing my french by reading an interview with a conservative piece of excrement that is our Minister of Culture in Le Monde. He actually can’t say three consecutive sentences without mentioning communism, but all of his flirtings with extreme nationalism are just things taken out of context or exaggerations by… you guessed: communists. Urgh.
    Communists…. everywhere!

    Also, when the journalist asks him to comment on the last year’s addition to our constitution that forbids marriage between members of same gender, he corrects them. marriage between people of the same gender hasn’t been forbidden by the Constitution, what the Constituions says is that marriage is defined as a union of a man and a woman.
    … Um, but.. that’s… the same?

    I’m sorry, I haven’t been this chatty in a while. How are things going?

  6. rq
    13

    I’m stalling. I really should be writing the next instalment of reports, but I just finished organizing them nicely by category of results, and all my boxes are pretty. Of course, they’re prettier when they’re empty, but writing is the boringest part of the process.
    I’m not sure in what context, but I received an email from a travel agency about how beautiful Transylvania is at this time of year – then I remembered I’m going to Bucharest (close enough I guess), which means someone’s been booking my plane tickets!
    Which just makes me more nervous abuot the whole trip, I have to be moderator to a bunch of senior police officers from around Europe, and I have to fill out a CV form (for them to keep on file), and there’s a small section titled “Additional Important Information”, so I emailed the lady in charge for clarification and she said “You can provide relevant information that makes you an outstanding trainer.” And I have none. So now I’m nervous again.

    Hey, practicing French is practicing French! This is also a valid pursuit (the opinions expressed by your Minister of Culture, not so much – sounds a lot like our Minister of Justice). 🙂

  7. 14

    rq,
    Hehe, I’m familiar with stalling.

    You’ll be great moderating the conference! I hope you’ll also have some free time for sightseeing. That can do a lot to improve stressful business trips.

  8. rq
    15

    Yeah, I was just looking at photos of Bucharest. Nice place! Also I checked to see how far I am from Transylvania, because the kids would love a small souvenir from there, but I doubt I’ll have that much time.

    Thanks for the words of support, I’m just going to wallow in the impostor syndrome for another hour or so, then I’ll list some of my recent international outings and leave it at that. 🙂 (Plus I just have to moderate two hours in the afternoon of the third day of this thing, so it can’t be that bad, right?)

    How’s the studying going?

  9. 16

    As long as a bit of wallowing doesn’t turn into a lot of wallowing.

    Studying could be going better. I’m not as focused as I would like to be – some problems at work and I need to vacate this apartment in the next couple of weeks, but haven’t found another yet. Stress.

  10. rq
    17

    Nah, I don’t think I’ll be wallowing too much, it just seems like a necessary evil in this case – since I’ve already worked out a strategy that will sufficiently hide my impostorousness for the duration of those two hours. I think, for me, letting myself feel anxious about is a way of acknowledging the validity of my own feelings to myself, which makes it easier to deal with (“I know you’re worried, rq, but we have a strategy, and anyway, they won’t let you go if you don’t fill out that form! And if they don’t like it, it’s not like you’ll ever see them again!”).
    More ready to wallow on behalf of Husband, he may or may not be fired from his job today. This may or may not be a good thing, but it’s still a bit nerve-wracking due to not knowing.

    Good luck with the apartment hunt, do you have any prospects lined up for looking at, at least?

  11. 18

    Sounds like a good way of handling impostor syndrome.

    After I realized that nice apartments that won’t drain my budget disappear off the market in about 3 to 24 hours, I am now constantly refreshing the site, sorted by “newest”, ready to jump on the next one I really like. If I still like it after the first viewing, I’m signing.

    I saw two apartments, decided to sleep on the decision and missed both opportunities. Third time’s a charm, I hope.

    That’s pretty much my plan.

  12. 19

    Oh, and fingers crossed that your Husband’s work situation resolves in the best way possible.. whatever that turns out to be,

  13. rq
    20

    Here’s to the third time! Here, have an eclair. They’re local and delicious.
    Unless you don’t like eclairs, I think I can find something else delicious, too.

  14. 23

    Good luck with the apartment hunting Beatrice. I hope you find something acceptable soon.

    I’m sure you’ll be great as a moderator rq . I know that imposter syndrome is a constant companion for a lot of us, but I’ve no doubt you’ll be great!

    My wife phoned me at work to say there was some sad news: Annually we have House Martins nesting in our eaves. A couple of the nests have fallen down, including some eggs. So we have some disappointed birds and I have a mess to clean up when I get home. I’m hoping that the House Martins have time to start a new nest.

  15. rq
    24

    bragimike
    Aww, poor house martins! Is it just bad luck or a possible predator? I hope they have time to rebuild and relay this spring!

  16. 25

    [hugs] and I’m making tea if anyone wants any. Bragimike, some of the birds here are on their second broods, so I think (I hope) your House Martins can rebuild too.

    It’s going to be One of Those Days. I’ve already had to clean up a hairball on the den carpet, and I just noticed that Some Cat horked onto the middle level of the cat tree and right down the window facing the patio. I think I’ll just let that one sit until I feel stronger. Or until some else gets up so I can pass the dire responsibility on to them.

  17. 27

    rq

    “You can provide relevant information that makes you an outstanding trainer.” And I have none. So now I’m nervous again.

    Tell ’em you’ve raised toddlers, so riding herd on immature people with the attention span of gnats is nothing new for you. 🙂

    Best wishes for Husband

    Beatrice
    Good luck on the apartment hunt.

  18. 28

    Hullo and Happy Cadaver Day
    Public holiday here, too, and tomorrow me and #1 have a “bridge day”. I’ll celebrate by going to the bank to talk about the mortgage and buying a backpack for my godson as it is my good godmother duty.

    rq
    Common mistake. It’s actually not nine (neun) churches but the new (neu) church as opposed to the old one in the village I’m originally from.

    beatrice

    Also, when the journalist asks him to comment on the last year’s addition to our constitution that forbids marriage between members of same gender, he corrects them. marriage between people of the same gender hasn’t been forbidden by the Constitution, what the Constituion says is that marriage is defined as a union of a man and a woman.

    Yeah, my blood pressure always rises when the islamophobes contrast the “liberal European values like gay rights” with “those horrible backwards muslim people” I’m always wondering which part of Europe they’re talking about.

    Anne
    I hope your supplies turn up soon

    +++
    Talkin’ about prejudice…
    Currently the recent refugee kids are in so called “Welcome classes” to learn German, but they’re also in the normal classes in some lessons like English, so I know most of them.
    Yesterday I had to cover for an absent colleague in the Welcome class and another colleague who doesn’t have the kids in her classes warned me that I needed to be very strict because “they have no respect for women”.
    Those kids are really well behaved and heed what you say. I have zero problems with them in my classes nor in that Welcome Class.

    Prejudice the second:
    In Switzerland it’s common for kids to shake their teacher’s hand. Now there was a shitstorm because two muslim boys didn’t want to shake their female teacher’s hand.
    At first the principal said “OK, you either shake all hands or none”, now the ministry of education said all students MUST shake all hands.
    How fucking creepy is that? Is forcing children to touch adults against the wish of the children one of those stellar European values we need to defend?

  19. 29

    Not sure how many hockey fans there are here, but I’m pretty giddy about the SJ Sharks making it to the Stanley Cup Finals for the first time! After 25 years of existence – literally half my life. 🙂

    And managed to get home in time to watch the 3rd period with Son, which was also pretty cool.

    So, hockey fan or not, the next round is on me!

  20. rq
    30

    JimB
    My hockey season ended once Latvia succumbed to Switzerland. A sad, sad day, especially after achieving POINTS! against both Sweden and the Czech Republic.
    🙂

    Giliell
    Well, German should just stop being so confusing, then I wouldn’t make such common mistakes! Good luck with all the mortgage sorting, hope everything goes well (and that German banks are somewhat more sensible than Latvian ones – though, haha, they’re all Scandinavian here anyway).

  21. rq
    31

    Dalillama
    I was actually seriously considering that option. 😀 But I don’t think that’s the kind of professional experience they’re looking for!

    +++

    Speaking of Husband, he hasn’t been let go – though they let go 6 (out of 28) employees today, and basically shunted Husband off (with no choice in the matter) into a supposedly new field they want to expand into. This could be good (different work, different experience, more responsibility) but it could also be bad (new things on paper, old things in real life). So we definitely have mixed feelings about the collective benefits of him not spending the summer at home, and some pretty founded anticipation about his management’s ability to pull things together.

  22. 32

    rq, I’m glad your husband still has his job, and I hope things work out for all of you.

    I went out with Elder Daughter to do the shopping, and fit in a few stops for myself. Really, I had to go to the craft supply store to look for jars for Husband’s enamel stuff. Really. PO called while I was out; the delivery supervisor said he was making our carrier retrace his site from yesterday looking for my package. Who knows, he might even find it. I can’t be the only honest person in town. And I saw one of the mockingbirdlings preening. Poor babies, they’re all over quills, and very itchy.

    Hugs, and have some chocolate. I bought some made with honey because we wanted to see what that was like. Truly, the world is a wonderland of oddball chocolate these days.

  23. JAL
    33

    Ugh. Went to the dentist almost 3 hours ago and am just getting home. It was supposed to be a quick surgical consultation, like just verify the shit and move forward. But that dude was like “we should do this instead of dentures.”

    Queue another consolation with the regular dentist and a long session with the financial planner. No idea what I’m doing now. Might just have to suck it up and go with dentures because it seems to be the cheapest option, even if they say it’s not the best available to me.

    And all the talk of “You have great insurance, this is such a deal!” makes my head want to explode because omfg this shit is so expensive, what planet are you from!??!.

    Ugh, plus I have to call and do research for a loan or a credit card and make another shrink appointment and all I wanna do is sleeeeeeep.

  24. 35

    Jal
    *hugs*
    It’s planet privilegia. To them whatever is the price might actually be a good deal.

    +++
    rq
    Glad your husband is still employed.
    Mr’s ex boss to be is playing silly bugger with him, confirming all the more why Mr was right to refuse moving with ex boss to be to the new company despite that really fat bonus.
    The banks will play nice: First, we could actually pay for the house in cash and blow them a raspberry (though we’d be broke for renovations). Second, Mr’s aunt works for one of them.

  25. rq
    37

    Anne
    *hugS*

    JAL
    *hugs*
    I hope the teeth situation gets resolved as best for you as possible, frankly – by this time, it’s probably best just to have it resolved. 🙁

    Giliell
    Oh good, it’s good to have an insider in the bank. That’s basically what got us through the process, but it sounds like you won’t have any issues. 🙂

    +++

    I know it will be a different sort of scheduling struggle, but I find myself actually looking forward to the summer, letting the kids entertain themselves during the day and going to work at night. Summer, by the way, starts on Monday – today is the last day of school, and yes, that’s three months of figure out where to put your kid(s). Me, I’m taking the easy way out and changing my work hours. Dunno, I give it a week before I start complaining about them here. 🙂

  26. 38

    Good morning!

    @Giliell: Are you busy the first weekend in July? Chris from Kaltkirchen is possibly coming down then and we could all meet up somewhere. You may have to put up with some comments about how nice it is that nothing is exploding, though. I’m going to try to arrange my life such that I’m in the US on New Years and Germany in early July from now on.

    Congratulations on the house!

    @Anne: There’s a place near here that sells asparagus chocolate truffles. I am immensely curious, but was there too early in the season to get any. How did the honey chocolate work?

    @JAL: FWIW, you have my sympathies. My baby teeth were disasters and I have unfond memories of dental work at a young age.

  27. 39

    Dianne

    Are you busy the first weekend in July?

    My calendar says “meet with Dianne and have a good time” 😉

    You may have to put up with some comments about how nice it is that nothing is exploding, though.

    Don’t worry, I agree with that sentiment.

    +++
    Uh-oh, appointment with notary to finalize contracts come Thursday…

  28. 40

    Dianne, the honey chocolate was a bit odd, but good – it was made with honey instead of regular sugar, is all. We got it at Sprouts.

    The package did show up yesterday, amazingly unopened and intact. I said something to the carrier about the weirdness with the tracking, and he just said “new guy”. Some of them apparently scan things as delivered without actually, you know, delivering, then take the mail back to the PO to be someone else’s problem.

    Hugs and hot tea for all and sundry, while I try to wake up.

  29. 42

    Hi, everyone!
    Dropping by. Things are holding steady, not the best but not the worst. Child 2 is now on home tutoring after school decided that being there was “not the optimal placement for him right now”. Ahem. Long story. It seems to be working, for the most part, although we are still getting the kinks worked out. He finally got in with the therapist we really wanted though, so that was fantastic. Car broke, got fixed for more money than we thought, broke some more, got fixed for less money than we thought. Kitchen pipe broke, got fixed for less money than we thought. Tree broke, not sure what that will cost…
    Scheduling everything is challenging, and I was doing pretty great but then was not but now am climbing my way back. So things are looking up! Just hoping for things to be boring for awhile. Hugs to everybody!

  30. 45

    *hugs* to everyone!
    I’m busy lately and missed quite a bit here.

    RTT:
    1. I like this piece from Krugman about Sanders and the linked article. It does ring true that a small, but vocal, part of Sanders’ camp (i.e. the infamous Bernie Boyz) taps into the same White Rage as does Trump’s campaign. Obviously Sanders is infinitely better than Trump, but the underlining populist rage can be dangerous.
    I also like Krugman’s point about purists. They are by far the most annoying group in the left and they have a tendency of taking over any discussion regarding the elections (see the comment section in Pharyngula’s relevant threads for multiple examples). The only good thing is that they’re a tiny minority. Baring a rare even like 2000’s Florida they shouldn’t make any difference.
    2. Russia is ramping up it’s rhetoric against Europe. They’re also threatening Romania and Poland which are about to host NATO anti-missile defensive units.
    I think it has a lot to do with oil prices slowly climbing back (49$ per barrel, less than half what they were before Russia invaded Crimea) and Russia proclaiming that its economy is no longer in recession. It’s obviously propaganda, but it does show that the Russian leadership are feeling secure for the moment.

    Good night, folks!

  31. 46

    In the Miniature Disasters and Minor Catastrophes* department, our microwave just died in the middle of cooking something. Younger Daughter of course came looking for me instead of telling her dad. I was in my studio with the door mostly closed because I was going through some beads; he was within sight of her, dinking around on the PC. She’d also put her eggplant stack in the old and less powerful built-in microwave that came with the house, so she was hardly hurting. I’m afraid I snapped at her.

    So, last week we spent nearly $500 repairing the dishwasher**, and this week we need a new microwave. If it ain’t one damn thing, it’s another.

    *I can’t take credit for that; it’s a KT Tunstall song.
    **Which, in my opinion could have waited. I never had a dishwasher until Husband and I moved in together. When I was growing up, I was the family dishwasher. You kids get off my lawn.

  32. rq
    47

    carlie!!!! *huuuuuuugs!*

    Anne
    Oh, don’t worry. I’m not quite the same generation as you, but my dad was a firm believer in child labour – though he was equal opportunity, as my brothers got stuck with the dishwashing, too. There’s very few times I can remember clearly where he would help with or just wash the dishes.
    (But this is the same dad who got Looks from the salespeople when he went to buy a ringer-washer because he insisted to my mum that that was the way to go, because that’s how his mum used to do it, completely forgetting how ecstatic his mum was when she finally got a modern (for those times) washer. So no ringer-washer for my mum. 🙂 )

  33. 51

    I didn’t sleep well, or indeed much at all last night. Rotten stinker calico cat started asking if it was time for breakfast around 4 AM. It’s a very good thing I’m not the one driving the family expedition this morning.

    I’m just going to leave this pile of hugs where everybody can find them, and retire to the pillow fort.

  34. 52

    hugs for Carlie

    Hugs for Carlie and Anne. Sorry about your breaking household appliances.

    dishwashers
    Legend has that my parents had a dishwasher before they had a TV. They used to do the accumulated dishes in the bathtub at the weekend.
    So I grew up in a dishwasher household when they were still a luxury for most people. When the dishwasher broke down, civilisation almost went as well. The greatest concession my mother would make was allowing each of us an individual plate and a full set of cutlery.

    +++
    Dianne
    GiliellÄTyahooPUNKTde

  35. 53

    Giliell, I can get by without a dishwasher. I just wash dishes several times a day (being home all day helps). The time we couldn’t let any water go down the kitchen drains for several days, though, that was no fun at all. Washing dishes in buckets and hauling the water outside to dump got old really fast.

    Today so far I have walked to the market because we’d run out of birdseed, put away all the laundry, and gone to the Japanese marketplace/mini-mall with the family. And when we got home, I crouched down to pet the cat. I tried to stand up, lost my balance and went over backwards on the concrete front walk. Results, one scraped elbow, one mildly wrenched shoulder, and a lot of humiliation. It could’ve been a lot worse, but still… I’m going to retire to the pillow fort to nurse my wounded dignity.

  36. 54

    Birds!

    1. The two surviving mockingbirdlings fledged this morning. There is one currently in the fern jungle below the cactus, alternately begging for food and practising its aggression chirps and wing flashes. The other is in a tree along the south side of the house. The parents are of course hovering nearby, snapping their beaks at anyone who gets too close.

    2. A female hooded oriole has found the oriole feeder. With any luck, the other female and the male will be along soon.

  37. 55

    If anyone is curious, btw, there’s some photos of mine on flickr under the name cavebabe21. I’m the one with the purple hair. 🙂

  38. 57

    Another shoe dropped – I just discovered a puddle of water on the kitchen floor, which led me to a bigger puddle under the sink. Sometime earlier today, the hot water valve sprung a leak. Husband is tinkering around down there, but until it’s fixed, no hot water in the kitchen, and therefore no dishwasher, and no washing dishes by hand unless I portage hot water from one of the bathrooms or best it on the stove. This has been a really weird day.

  39. 58

    Husband pulled something* and the hot water hose started spraying all over. By the time he’d found the right wrench and gone out to turn off the water to the house, there was half an inch of hot water all over the kitchen floor. I’ve been meaning to wash the kitchen floor, but not like this.

    Current status: the hot water flow from the water heater to the house is turned off, but we do have running (cold) water. Since it’s nearly 9:30 PM, all we can do tonight is clean up. Tomorrow, which is a USAnian National Holiday, Husband will have to go out and buy repair/replacement supplies and fix the leaking pipe/valve/whatever. Since he’s doing that, he may go ahead and replace the kitchen faucets, which have been slowly falling apart for a while. Gah.

    At least this time we still have cold water and working drains.

    *”No, no, no, don’t tug on that. You never know what it might be attached to.” Buckaroo Banzai

  40. 60

    Wondering what people think of the new FTB bloggers. They seem to me a very mixed lot. I like some (Iris and Caine, to be specific) quite a bit and am intrigued by several others. But they also seem to have picked up some mansplainers and a potential slimepit. Anyone else have the same impression? Am I jumping to unjust conclusions?

  41. 61

    *hugs* galore.
    Extra ones for Anne.

    CaitieCat
    Nice hair! Nice pics!

    Dianne
    Between The Orbit and FTB I have only so much free time to spare, so on FTB I mostly read only Caine and PZ.
    I know what you mean, though. Of the new batch of bloggers one seems a bit Islamophobic and its comment section is packed with the old trolls and bigots.

  42. 62

    Husband went to Home Despot, got a hot-water hose, tried to install it, found it didn’t fit, went back and got a slightly different size, tried again. This time the fix seems to have worked. I’m washing all the towels we used to mop up the flood. So far, so good, but next we’re going to run the dishwasher. If anything can be shaken loose, that’ll be when it happens.

    This has been a really weird and tiresome weekend.

  43. 63

    Anne
    I’m sorry stuff broke. I’m glad your husband could fix it.

    Dianne
    Your impression’s not wrong, if you ask me. There are some good ones as mentioned here, some interesting ones I don’t have enough time for. And some people who are pretty much on the wrong side. When atheists and the Taliban agree on the one true version of Islam…

  44. rq
    64

    Well, Youngest turned 4 today, so I guess that means no more toddlers in the house? Oddly, he wanted black everything: a black cake with black icing (no decorations!), black sausages for dinner (except we had to get the white ones, as there were no black ones in the store, haha), etc. Now he just has to remember how many fingers to show when someone asks him how old he is. 😀

    *hugs* and *higs* for the crowd!

  45. rq
    65

    Also, there is such a thing as Potato Street, right in the state capital. The world is a magnificent place.

  46. 66

    Le sigh.
    I’m so over skeptics that treat accusations of domestic violence with the same skepticism as “The Loch Ness Monster is real!”
    Domestic abuse (and sexual assault/harassment) are not extraordinary claims requiring extraordinary evidence. They occur all the fucking time. Every hour of every day. All over the planet. Trying to play that skeptic (or just as bad, playing the “neutral third party”) does nothing to benefit victims and everything to benefit the accused.

  47. 68

    Anne
    Fingers crossed!

    rq
    Happy birthday to him!

    Potato Street

    I googled that. I didn’t find the street, but I did find this amazing potato spiral.
    *drools*

    Tony
    I’m coming to a point where I view anyone who first and foremost describes themselves (oh, who am I kidding? Himself) as “skeptic” as some sort of bigot who merely wants to feel superior to any newagers or religious kooks. Anything else would require exceptional evidence.

  48. rq
    70

    I’m coming to a point where I view anyone who first and foremost describes themselves (oh, who am I kidding? Himself) as “skeptic” as some sort of bigot who merely wants to feel superior to any newagers or religious kooks.

    Also becuase “skeptic” means they’re allowed to ask all those uncomfortable, icky questions nobody else wants to ask, like, are black people really just as smart as white people (I mean look at the stats)? Do women really need to be paid the same as men (I mean look at the stats)? Etc. … I think it’s not just about feeling superior, but about airing their views in a permissible manner.

  49. 72

    Also becuase “skeptic” means they’re allowed to ask all those uncomfortable, icky questions nobody else wants to ask, like, are black people really just as smart as white people (I mean look at the stats)? Do women really need to be paid the same as men (I mean look at the stats)? Etc.

    Airing my dirty laundry with a vengence here, but…I went through a period like that in my teens. Thing is, I looked at the evidence as objectively as I could and came to the conclusion that, yep, black people are just as smart as white people and women did need to be paid the same as men and so on. If you really do look at the evidence as an open minded skeptic you start to realize that the “politically correct” people are also the factually correct ones.

  50. rq
    73

    Dianne
    I think it’s more an issue with people (a.k.a. “Twoo Skeptics”) who insist on keeping on asking those questions, even with the evidence in front of their noses. Anyone who actually evaluates the evidence should be able to come to the same conclusions as you – but of course, that means you can’t ask those questions anymore, and by all the non-existent gods, somebody should, AMIRITE?

    I think actually the self-proclaimed skeptics also known as bigots refuse to come to the right conclusions, because they don’t agree with their internally held worldviews. But to conform to society’s politically correct demands, they revert to JAQing off, and revealing their own distasteful underbelly. In other words, they don’t actually accept the actual evidence in favour of remaining bigots.

  51. 75

    One thing I’m noticing as I comment on various threads at Facebook regarding Amber Heard and Depp is that while skeptics often say we don’t have enough evidence to make a decision, none of them explains how much (and what kind of) evidence it would take to convince them. Amber Heard has witnesses. She has photos. A judge granted her a restraining order (which means the judge was swayed by *some* sort of evidence). She wants a divorce. Combine all of that with the knowledge that domestic violence is an epidemic that most often victimizes women, and I’m left with “DUH. Believe Amber Heard.”

    But then, I’m not wearing the sooper skeptic hat of skepticality*.

    *Which only is worn when claims of sexual assault/harassment or domestic violence are raised. Curiously skeptics don’t seem to doubt when someone says they were mugged. A friend could tell them their house burned down and they need a place to stay, and skeptics aren’t likely to say “I need more evidence before I’ll believe you”. Curious and curiouser.

  52. rq
    76

    *Which only is worn when claims of sexual assault/harassment or domestic violence are raised.

    You forget police shooting unarmed black people. Or is there a different version of the sooper skeptic hat of skepticality for those occasions?

  53. rq
    78

    Tony
    Careful, they’re taking your attention from all the shit in the world by distracting you with all the other shit in the world!

  54. 79

    Hi there
    What a day

    We had a case of a girl in one of my classes being groped. At least it got dealt with quickly and without doubting her, though I doubt that would have gone so well if the boy hadn’t been one of the refugees.
    On the funny side, in my sex ed class one of the kids asked if I’d ever used condoms with flavour. I explained them that this firmly belongs onto the realm of “privacy”.

    +++

    She wants a divorce.

    Didn’t you know? If women claim domestic violence and want a divorce, they’re just making this up to get a more favourable divorce. If women don’t separate immediately after incidents of violence, those incidents never happened.

  55. 80

    Also, I want to know how US Zoos think that safety measures that can be overcome by 3 year olds are “safe”.
    Seriously, I couldn’t feed the kids to the snowleopards if I wanted to, let alone them accidentally getting into the enclosure.

  56. rq
    82

    Seriously, I couldn’t feed the kids to the snowleopards if I wanted to, let alone them accidentally getting into the enclosure.

    They could very possibly fall into the bearpit over here, though – a bit of an effort, it’s a medium-high flat concrete wall, but it could be done.
    (Yes, they’re renovating the outdated bearpits right now, so hopefully this won’t be an issue in the future.)

  57. 83

    Re zoos: Zoos need to build their primate enclosures with the understanding that they have some highly intelligent, often aggressive animals that are prone to finding unexpected weaknesses in containment on their property and build with that in mind. They should also remember that the gorillas can be dangerous too.

  58. 84

    Dianne: Your wording seems to imply that between the first and second sentence there should be “…And that’s just the zoo guests!…”

  59. 86

    Dianne
    Yep. Enclosures must be safe against accidents and stupidity (remember the parents who dropped their kid into the leopard pit?). An enclosure where a three year old who toddled off can get into is neither.

  60. 87

    Big protest in Zagreb today, in relation to school reform.
    Four demands for the government:
    1. Garancija slobode prosvjetnim radnicima u obavljanju posla bez pritisaka, intervencije i cenzure (Guaranteed freedom to educators to do their jobs without outside pressure, interventions or censure.)

    2. Sabor mora donijeti zaključak o podršci reformi i ekspertnom timu (The parliament needs to support the curricular reform and expert team that worked on it. – the issue has been that the new government tried to add their own people to the team that has been working on this reform for the last couple of years. The team leader resigned in opposition of this, because he and the rest had been chosen by formal, expert selection and not on political basis )

    3. Donošenje rezolucije o obrazovanju kao strateškom nacionalnom interesu (Resolution about education being a strategic national interest)

    4. Osigurati novac i autonomiju za provedbu reforme (Provide financial support and full autonomy in implementing the reform.)

    I’m somewhere in the crowd:
    http://www.jutarnji.hr/vijesti/hrvatska/cetiri-zahtjeva-vladi-i-saboru-organizatori-prosvjeda-uputili-snaznu-poruku-prema-markovom-trgu/4123245/

    .. and I feel really bad about not also going to that last protest when only about 500 people showed up in support of abortion rights. In my own defense , I hadn’t known about the protest until it was already happening.

  61. 88

    Don’t you know? Safety protocols are a librul conspiracy.
    —-
    rq

    Those potato twists, by the way, are heavenly. Cost a bloody eyro apiece, though – rip-off, considering everyone knows the REAL price of potatoes.

    No real price of potato.
    Potato is priceless.
    Plus I freaking love potatoes. I would totally pay that Euro, rip-off or not.
    (Aside: how come Latvians are the ones associated with potato jokes? Potatoes are staple in almost all of Europe and North America?)

    Beatrice
    I hope the protest is a success, but, you know how the world works.

  62. rq
    89

    AlexanderZ

    how come Latvians are the ones associated with potato jokes? Potatoes are staple in almost all of Europe and North America?

    One of life’s mysteries. You’d think at least the Irish would win out, but no. Hey, back in Roman times, we were mushroom eaters living in trees! I like to think of this as progress. 🙂

  63. 92

    I have really seriously actually purchased a house.
    Wow.
    And you need less documents than you need to inscribe yourself in college…
    Now, the mills of bureaucracy have to move, but they move so slowly. But if all goes well we should get the keys by the middle of July

  64. 93

    giliell,
    CONGRATS!
    That’s so exciting.

    I got the keys today… for the apartment I’m renting, of course. It’s nice, or as nice as I can get staying within my budget.
    Now I just have to clean all the things so that it feels a bit more mine rather than “ew, other people’s stuff”.

  65. rq
    95

    Yay for new homes Giliell and Beatrice!
    Please accept the requisite bread and salt. 🙂 Though those are traditionally only once you’ve moved in, I think it’s close enough.

  66. 99

    We just applied for a refi through my credit union – their rates are slightly lower than our bank. Fingers crossed it all works out.

    [refills basket of hugs, makes a fresh pot or tea]

  67. 102

    Don’t mind if I do…

    Good luck… er… prayers for … ummm… fingers crossed… heh!…… For FSM-sake ! …..
    Hope you get the best (financial) outcome possible, Anne ! : )

  68. 107

    By now I’m fucking glad this flat comes with an exit date.
    Did I mention that the roof is leaking A-Fucking-Gain?
    So I called the housing company for the 5th time, they called some roofing company (allegedly a different one than last time) who made an appointment with me to see where the damage is. That appointment was 40 minutes ago. I hate it when people treat my time like it’s theirs.
    If I write them a bill, will they pay?

  69. 109

    Congrats to giliell and Beatrice!

    Anne
    Here’s hoping for a favorable refinancing!

    giliell

    That appointment was 40 minutes ago. I hate it when people treat my time like it’s theirs.

    It’s amazing that no matter the country all these organizations act the same way. You’re moving away before the winter comes, right?

    Someone told me and he’d “shoot me below the logo”.
    I have no idea what that means so I tried to inquire what that means but he eventually told me to “get the fuck away” from him and that I was, and I quote, “one stupid motherfucker”.
    People are weird.
    And I still don’t know which logo he was referring to.

  70. rq
    111

    AlexanderZ
    Perhaps that giant logo you have hanging over your head all the time. If there isn’t one, contact your closest corporate representative immediately.

  71. rq
    114

    I was already gearing up for getting annoyed and there he was.

    This is also annoying. 😀 I’d probably be annoyed (a little!) at him because he took away my reason to be justifiably annoyed.

  72. 115

    [hugs] for repair woes, all.

    I actually had a repair person come early once. He said he was ahead of schedule and he was in my neighborhood anyway, so he called to see if we were available. Since I was home, I was quite happy. But that’s a rare thing indeed.

  73. rq
    118

    Anne
    Such is the curse of my aristocratic blue blood – some people just don’t understand! 😉

    As for the pandas, wow. Kind of makes you wonder if they just like to be extra-pampered, or if their ordinary conditions leave something to be desired.

  74. 129

    *waves*

    Do people normally stress this much or is it my anxiety?
    Because I almost had a complete melt down at work yesterday because I couldn’t make an informed decision on when to ask for days off, due to various kinds of obligations, both work and private. And my mom just couldn’t understand that she’s one of the factors too and if she won’t tell me which days are convenient for her, my brain might just melt into a puddle.
    I suppose what I later found out was a pretty high fever didn’t help either.

    Anyway. My life is made of stress. Moments like these make me miss having someone to share my life with even more. (also, it would have been nice if I could just moan coffee and pills from bed instead of having to get up today, brew the coffee and look for pills for fever myself)

    But I’m in kind of a good mood at the moment anyway.
    I have no idea.
    This is so confusing.
    (and no, the fever is down)

  75. 130

    Beatrice, you are loaded with stresses, sounds like. Your mom is adding to the stress by playing control games. It’s no wonder you had a brain overload.

    [hugs] offered, and I hope you are feeling better today, in all ways.

  76. 131

    Thanks ,Anne.

    Just in defense of my mom, it wasn’t really control games. Just genuine inability to understand that what was a minor issue to her was making me a bit obsessive.

  77. 132

    Beatrice
    Sounds like normal stress to me. I get to witness roughly one meltdown in two-three days at work and it’s always over much more trivial things, nowhere near the stress levels of someone who has a fever, just moved and who-knows-what else on her plate right now.

    Keep up the good mood, though!
    And feel better…

  78. rq
    133

    Beatrice
    *hugs*! Glad the fever is down, and doubly glad the mood is good!

    +++

    Have I ever mentioned that I hate robots…?

  79. 134

    Alexander

    It’s amazing that no matter the country all these organizations act the same way. You’re moving away before the winter comes, right?

    When the works on the house are done either Mr deals with those people or they treat me better or I might intentionally hurt somebody.

    beatrice
    It’s not just you. Or I share an abnormally high level of anxiety. I constantly fear that I have forgotten something.

  80. 135

    AlexanderZ,

    And I though I was working in an unhealthy environment…

    Very belated apologies for embedding a video somewhere at the beginning of the thread. I only noticed on the latest refresh.

  81. 136

    rq

    Have I ever mentioned that I hate robots…?

    Shhh… not over the internets!

    giliell

    I constantly fear that I have forgotten something.

    People laugh at me because whenever I get up, even if it’s for something quick, I usually do a quick pat down of my pockets to make sure I didn’t forget anything.
    I’m also one of those people that can go back three times just to recheck that I took everything with me.

    Beatrice

    And I though I was working in an unhealthy environment…

    The thing is that as long as I don’t get crippling pains I don’t consider the environment unhealthy. Sure the clients can be jerks and it’s enough for one colleague to have a bad day to ruin it for everybody as well, but I treat those instances as my personal break – I just sit back and let them take out their steam. The only times when I’m feeling down at work is either when the pains flare up more than usual or when I know that I’ve personally made a mistake.
    It also helps that I still work less hours than most, thought it has an obvious downside as well.

  82. 141

    Some days, modern technology is the end of me.
    I’m trying to share the video of the kids’ performance at today’s school festival with the other parents.
    Youtube says “not available”
    My mobile says “file format not supported”
    Now I’m uploading it to my Dropbox….

  83. rq
    146

    AlexanderZ
    Excellent article, I liked it! With essentially a focus on the gross incompetence of the investigators, not of the science itself. And of people’s willingness to believe scientists and programmers about the infallibility of their methods, without knowing what those methods are. Also the issue of incentives for convictions – this is something that should be absolutely forbidden in forensic science, because that shit can fuck up your initial biases, and not in a good way (government lab here, haha, no incentives at all!).
    If you talk to any self-respecting forensic DNA analyst, they will tell you that DNA is not a silver bullet; the issue is the perception of the police and the public, which is a difficult matter of educating the masses… And that is hard (but we’re working on it).
    As for the analysis itself, well… Any mixture of biological material will yield a difficult-to-interpret DNA profile, except in unique cases where you can have two clear contributors – but those cases are obvious, and the more contributors, the more difficult it can be to identify contributors, to the point where, realistically, anything over 3 contributors is considered too much of a mixture to be conclusive in any way.
    The science is moving forward, too – new technologies like NGS are working on separating mixtures into specific components via sequencing, which means minute details that on the current electropherogram show up within a single category can be separated into two (or more) categories. That thing I was at in Barcelona talked about this a lot, and to be honest, a lot of it freaked me out – they’re trying to predict eye colour and hair colour and ancestry and all I could think about was racial profiling. I mean the science behind it is pretty incredible, even in these early stages, but it’s just freaky.
    Anyway, I love the last line of the article best:

    “DNA is science. You can’t blame DNA. You can only blame the people who used it wrong.”

    And it may look easy on TV, but it’s not easy to learn to use it right (and as my teachers always taught me, it’s best to err on the side of caution and inconclusivity than to be wrong).
    Anyway. Great article. I may or may not have more thoughts about it later. 🙂

  84. 147

    rq
    I’m glad you liked it! 🙂

    The science is moving forward, too – new technologies like NGS are working on separating mixtures into specific components via sequencing, which means minute details that on the current electropherogram show up within a single category can be separated into two (or more) categories.

    You mean using methods like pyrosequencing instead of the old gel electrophoresis? Damn, that’s full DNA sequencing right there in your lab, though nobody will have the time to really do full sequencing of non-polymorphic areas, so it’d probably still would be limited mostly to STRs and not genes proper. At least I hope so. I mean, people have been warning of genetic profiling for ages and even though the technology is accessible since 2000s with DNA microarrays and the modern sequencing methods, the procedure is still too costly and time consuming to do on a population-wide basis.
    (aside: I remember the times when electrophoresis was all you had – and not the fancy new capillary stuff – the old regular gel with a centrifuge for initial separation.)

    Speaking of forensics, how do you separate contributors in a sample? Do you do it statistically (in which case the greater contributor will always win out) or by some other method?

    P.S.
    Sorry for the rumbling response – it’s getting a bit late.
    Good night, all!

  85. 148

    rq:
    I’m so sorry. I was away from my laptop until late tonight and didn’t see that your two comments about the YouTube video went into the spam folder for some reason.

  86. rq
    149

    Tony
    It’s okay, it was a super-sad song anyway!
    Any explanation for it, though? Was it the youtube? I couldn’t see anything wrong with it at a glance…

    AlexanderZ
    Basically, yes, massively parallel pyrosequencing. If you set up the libraries, you can do all kinds of samples all at the same time (giving your computer enough brain power and time to digest and analyze the results afterward, of course). At our lab, we can only dream of having this kind of tech, but you can do anything with it.
    The only two things limiting full genome sequencing are time (due to the general workload) and the law (not allowed to touch areas that contain personal (incl. medical) information, and in Latvia, this includes phenotype information, too). Which creates this very weird situation where labs will be capable of sequencing everything (and trust me, some of them do have the time :P), and it becomes more difficult to reassure people and say we’re only using your STRs, it’s like a fingerprint, we will not sell your information!
    The machines and materials are getting a lot mroe sensitive, too, so a couple of the biggest challenges going forward are (a) the question of how much information is enough and how much is too much (honestly, here, do you really need to know the possible percentage of this person having blue eyes?), and (b) how much is too little (esp. re: trace evidence, where presumably you can get finer and finer mixes and now be able to statistically separate them, at which point do these minor traces become irrelevant to the investigation). Re: the second point there, the field is slowly moving into the mechanism of how DNA got there. The article you posted already touches on this, but the method as such has always just been identifying what’s there (practically speaking, it means I’m not qualified to tell you how your blood got onto that shoe, I just tell you it’s there – as you can imagine, this is part of the problem of explaining the evidence and its value to non-DNA people).
    There’s a woman developing a cell-by-cell separation method of mixtures where you can separate the individual cells of a certain body fluid into separate groups and analyse each profile separately. That’s a new thing, but it’s a step towards realizing which body fluid belongs to whom, and can deliver important information about mechanisms of stain creation.

  87. rq
    150

    Oh! And you asked about separating mixtures.
    Short answer, yes, it’s statistics, but it’s not always the major contributor who wins out (as it were). Most commonly, because the major contributor is more obvious (and by major I mean most genetic material to the sample – but again, this doesn’t actually say anything about what material it is and how it got there, see case study at the bottom), if I have a person against whom to compare the major profile, I can make an ID, but depending on the quality of the sample, that will range from a (relatively) low LR number (for 4 or less alleles at each locus) to the simple statement ‘cannot exclude’. Similarly, I can search (but not enter into!) mixtures with 4 or less alleles at each locus in the database, and give a reply based on that, only after making a manual comparison of the profile and my sample.
    This is done by making sure that the alleles you are comparing in your sample are of similar size (because, in samples where you can do this mixture ID, that one contributor will have contributed all their material equally – you cannot separate out loci and contribute only those 🙂 ), not one high, one extremely low, etc. (The database is basically just numbers and tells you nothing about peak heights, which is important for this type of analysis.)
    Then there are terrible mixtures, which have 3 or more contributors and they’re just a giant mess and those get analyzed only on the exclude/include principle, using cautionary words like ‘maybe’, ‘possibly’, etc. But those are generally bad quality samples, they don’t go into the database in any way shape or form, and the inclusion/exclusion only gets mentioned if they’ve sent in a comparison sample (and it’s usually the victim(s), usually a family, there’s been a robbery in the house and they’ve sent a swab of the doorknob – depending on their relationship levels, you can ‘include’ a large amount of people into a mixture like this (both parents and all their children, for example)). If no comparison sample(s), then that kind of mixture gets a ‘not usable for further analysis’ comment.
    Then you get the sort of really pretty ideal mixtures, which will have up to a maximum of 3 contributors (and that’s pushing it, 2 is best!), which very nicely shows a major contributor and a minor contributor, all alleles are easily visible and identifiable, they make a pretty picture, and the contributing profiles are different enough that there’s little-to-no overlap of alleles, so there’s very little confusion. Again, this does not mean the minor profile is less important, just that there’s less material (and it can happen where the major profile in this case cannot be identified, but I can identify the minor profile). Case in point, a rather serious car accident where a person who was not supposed to be at the wheel was accused of driving (and drunk, no less), but he said his passenger was at the wheel (and apparently she was willing to take the blame. After analysis, there was a beautiful two-person profile from the airbag, with a very clear major contributor and minor contributor (both people). All I can say is that both their material is present. I cannot say that, because the man is the major contributor, that he was at the wheel of the car (if only her face got smushed by the airbag, but (say) the man’s saliva from yelling during/after the accident got onto it, he will be the major contributor, but she was the one at the wheel – if that makes sense). And vice versa. So yes, they’re both on the airbag, but it’s up to the prosecutors and judges to use this information in a way that might, say, get a confession or other piece of evidence to confidently place one or the other at the wheel of the car.
    So kind of like that. 🙂 Any more questions? I could go on.

  88. rq
    151

    I apologize for the lecture intruding on your free time, people. That was rather longer than I somehow expected. Carry on!

  89. 155

    rq,
    I want to know everything …. 🙁
    But I know too little to know what questions to ask. I’ll just wait until you and AlexanderZ continue your conversation.

    … and really, I should be trying to learn everything about SQL server DB administration right now.

  90. rq
    156

    Beatrice
    Sadly, I cannot help you with the SQL stuff. That stuff is well outside of my competence, it’s like magic. 🙂

  91. 160

    Urgh, I started on the equally time consuming, ungrateful, necessary and dusty task of sorting the DVDs ad putting them into a new system.
    Having more space in the house doesn’t mean we need to clutter it already.
    There are surprisingly few solutions that allow you to store your DVDs together with the covers while not forcing you to store a few cubic metres of air as well…

  92. 161

    Giliell,

    Take this as an opportunity to shed extra stuff you don’t really need.

    Admittedly, I just left most of it at my parents’ place when I first moved a year ago but I’m going to throw half of it away just as soon as I sort it . Any day now.

  93. rq
    162

    Oooh, yes, sorting stuff! Especially in advance of a move! This is a great technique for getting rid of stuff you don’t need. 😀 Best part is, the stuff you don’t actually need stays nicely packed up in boxes in the basement (or other storage space) for years, never bothering anyone!

  94. 163

    rq,

    My move last year was sudden, so I didn’t really plan ahead very well. I just took things I couldn’t go without and figured I’ll take the rest later. It turned out I could live perfectly well like that and never actually moved anything else except winter clothes.
    Thankfully, my parents aren’t bothered by my things. They don’t need the room so I keep postponing the actual sorting and throwing away.

    This time, I really don’t have anything to sort into trash. I’m not quite at the stage when I can disregard material things and live from a backpack :).

  95. 164

    Yeah, I still have some time* now, so I’ll start early (hey, I already packed the christmas decoration into a moving box right back in January). The nice thing is that since the house is really close to where we live now we can move in several steps. Sure, we’ll have that one big day when we move the furniture (again, it’s really close so we can leave most things in one piece and drive a couple of times), but the rest can go in different batches.

    *terms and conditions apply

  96. rq
    165

    When we moved, I started off well. I started in advance, and I sorted some stuff. By the end, though, it was all just PACK IT UP AND LET’S GO. Some stuff is still packed away somewhere, but apparently we don’t need it that much anyway. 🙂
    (And yeah, I’m not good at throwing things out, so we accumulate a lot of stuff. Husband’s stock answer: we’ll take it to the country, though that place also needs an overhaul – his sister has been working on it, but there’s a lot of stuff and I don’t want ours crowding in on that, so one of my summer projects is to do some actual, heartless sorting. And then throwing things out.)

  97. rq
    168

    The robot I’m talking about is not connected to the internet. And it never will be, mwahahahaa… It’ll be bad enough when we hook it up to the general work intranet. I might have to watch my typing at that point, but right now, I wish I could strangle it. Just a little. Squeezing the water tube shut doesn’t quite feel the same.

  98. rq
    169

    … But if it ruins another plate of samples, I will saw half-way through all of its table legs in revenge. See how it likes that (if it goes through the floor, all the better – I should probably not be typing this at work). Now I’m wondering if it’s insured at all…

  99. 170

    Ah. Definitely a robot in dire need of smiting. Would you like to borrow my favorite lightning bolt Mr Bolty?

    (Back when I was part of a BtVS group, I decided I was a hellgoddess. There were people and things in need of smiteage. Therefore, I have lightning bolts. It’s a thing.)

  100. 171

    So, time for a long comment.

    Last week, my mother called me. This is still unusual in my adult life; when I came out to my mother and her husband back in 1992, they basically said “Don’t call us, we’ll call you.” And then didn’t, for 12 years.

    Then my mother was in hospital for a serious surgery, and had my sister get in touch with me (she’d followed my mum’s lead on the cold shoulder thing). I went to see her in the hospital, and we had something of a reconciliation, which has led to our current practice, of exchanging e-mails every few months.

    So when she phoned, I was expecting news that someone was dying or something (the extended family had no way to contact me, nor I them, since they’re all in the UK and Mum had all their contact info).

    Instead, we had a lovely chat, for an hour and a half, about how things are in the family, and then got to the part that hit me like a two-by-four. We were talking, for the first time in 24 years, about my transition, and how long I’d known (since I was able to remember), and she apologised. She said she wished she’d been able to give me the treatment that trans kids are getting today, of puberty blockers and hormones and all that. That they just didn’t have the knowledge, in the early 70s, to know how to treat me more appropriately, and that she was sorry.

    And while I was still trying to process that, she told me that my only niece, who is 4 and I’ve never met, has been told she has an Auntie Cait and that I’m her mum’s sister, and further that my sister would like me to meet her, and going forward to be able to be a small part of their lives. They live 100km away, which is a nothing distance in Canada – we go that far for a party, or to hang with friends. Now I’m not great with the wee ones, but I’m the Awesome Aunt when they hit about eight or nine.

    I don’t know if you’ll be able to grasp how emotional this is for me – after total rejection 24 years ago, to be on the verge of being part of the family again, even peripherally, feels complex and weirdly mixed. I’m glad, but at the same time it’d be nice if she could ever acknowledge that telling me “it would be easier if you’d died” was a pretty harsh reaction at the time.

    Anyway, I wanted to share it with my friends, so I actually got out the laptop and sat up to write this post. Thanks for being awesome, people.

  101. 173

    CaitieCat,

    I may be taking my interpretation too far, but the whole thing sounds great and scary and too little and too much all at the same time. So… *hugs*

  102. 174

    And yeah, I’m not good at throwing things out, so we accumulate a lot of stuff.

    If my State had a motto it’d be “Besser hann un ned brauche wie brauche un ned hann” In English “Better have and not need than need and not have”
    Combine with the unofficial motto of generations of miners and steelworkers that you “occasionally need to take stuff home so it doesn’t get lost”, houses tend to get cluttered around here. I’m genetically and culturally ill disposed to throwing stuff away.

  103. 175

    Caitie
    I’m so happy and glad for you. I hope this leads to more and I’m glad the wee one will have an Awesome Aunt Cait, because everyone should have one.

  104. rq
    176

    Cait
    *HUGS* (within your physically bearable limits, of course)

    I’ll pass (for now – though I do wonder how well it will go with my sledgehammer) on that lightning bolt, Anne, but I think I need a rather large (and preferably clean) hankie. I have some things in my eyes after Cait’s comment.

    Giliell
    I come from a family of packrats descended from refugees. Yeah, it’s in my blood, too. 🙂

  105. 178

    I’ll have to throw out some empty jars, because there is just no point in moving them when I’ll quickly accumulate new ones anyway (I looove pickles). … And I’m feeling conflicted. Because they are useful and I hate throwing away thinks that can prove useful.

    I think it’s clear where I stand in this. 🙂

  106. rq
    179

    Beatrice
    Oh, jars. Don’t talk to me about jars. We bring them out to the country. Or at least we used to – stacks and stacks and stacks of jars. You can bring yours, too – they won’t be thrown out, and there’s a 5% chance they’ll be used in the making of more pickles. Eventually, at some point in the future, if we don’t buy new jars for the new pickles.
    I force myself to toss them out, now. But it’s hard, esp. since there’s no convenient recycling pick-up, you have to take it yourself.

  107. 180

    rq,

    You sure we’re not talking about the same “out to the country”? Because that’s exactly where all the jars from my parents’ go. We used to make a lot of pickle back when grandparents were still alive ,so we’d reuse the same jars over and over again.

    I refuse to add to the collection now that they mostly stay unused in the attick, so I decorate mine and use them for storing food (why buy decorative jars for sugar/rice/coffee/spices/etc. when you can use the ones you have).

  108. rq
    181

    Beatrice
    All of these “out to the country” are probably connected by wormhole; somewhere between the fabric of space, there’s a warehouse (or shed, if you prefer – or barn) filled with old wooden shelves, stacked with jars – large jars, old jars, new jars, short jars. If we could tap into this wormhole pathway, we could visit each other more regularly.
    Unfortunately, there’s only so much sugar, coffee and spices I can put into jars; at some point there are simply too many jars. 🙁

  109. 182

    Oh, jars.
    You keep so many they fall off the shelf, but whenever you actually need one you don’t have one with a matching lid…

  110. 185

    rq
    Not my video, just one I found when I was looking for the Duhks version of it. The original poem dates from 1851, and the currently most popular arrangement is Garnet Rogers’ (most people are familiar with his brother Stan playing it, but Garnet’s the one who put it together)
    Doing as well as can be expected; money’s chronically tight, and the weather is oppressively hot to a degree unheard of in the Willamette Valley in June. It’s around 100°F (38°C), for the third day in a row.

  111. 188

    I’ll take some bananas with me if I ever visit jar-space. Just in case.

    rq,
    That’s an awesome ad.
    Even if I kept wincing at that ballerina’s toes. Poor woman.

  112. 190

    This morning, there was a strange yellow thing in the sky. And the sky was a very strange colour, like blue.
    Can’t remember when I’ve last seen that…
    No, we’re not in the flooded areas, so I won’t complain.

  113. 192

    This morning, there was a strange yellow thing in the sky. And the sky was a very strange colour, like blue.

    I wouldn’t worry too much about it. I’m sure the sky will go back to its natural gray tone and the yellow thing will disappear soon. Probably this afternoon, in fact.

    My kid’s school’s basement flooded. Apparently for the second time in 3 years. Yes, they have attempted to do something about it. This flood occurred when the fix from the last flood failed.

  114. 193

    I’m going through a bit a rough patch at the moment. I haven’t had one for a while, but it doesn’t make it any easier. I’m feeling like my whole life is one big imposter syndrome and I’m not worthy of anything.

    There’s all sorts of contradictory things going through my mind…none of them positive.

    The house martins’ problems continue: having lost at least one nest, yesterday I was putting my daughter’s scooter in the garage when something swooped past. It turned out to be a sparrow hawk (I think) and it had taken one of the house martins from our eaves. It’s good for the hawk chicks, but not for the house martins.

    Finally, a friend of mine from orchestra (Obviously not that close a friend) got married last weekend and it was only from the FB pictures that I realised that it was a same sex marriage. In six years I’d never realised that they were gay! I can’t decide whether it was good because it never needed to be mentioned as a ‘thing’, or ignorant of me not to have paid enough attention to notice. Either way couple looked lovely and I’m very happy for them.

  115. 194

    CaitieCat
    It’s great that you have a new niece to play with!
    I don’t know what else to say, except offer hugs.

    bragimike
    Don’t listen to your imposter syndrome – imposter syndromes are lying assholes!

  116. 195

    Sorry CaitieCat in all my self-absorbed musings I forgot to say how pleased I was for you to have re-found your family.

    Also, thanks AlexanderZ !

  117. rq
    196

    bragimike
    *hugs*
    You’re probably just getting into the right mood for your Russian concert.
    The sledgehammer’s rent free, should you require it.

  118. 197

    I don’t know…That yellow thing in the sky: it’s still there. I am worried it could be one of these big, space based fusion reactors I keep hearing about. They can be quite dangerous, you know. They can cause cancer and everything.

    If I call the Trump campaign with this information, do you think I can convince them to promise to build a wall around it?

  119. 198

    bragimike, please don’t fret about it; it’s the nature of the medium that it can be hard to remember to respond to everything as one wants.

    Thanks to everyone for the lovely replies, they mean a lot.

    dianne, are you building a wall?

  120. 199

    Oh, and I’m pleased to have now done a Netflix tour of Scandinavia. I loved The Bridge, a Danish/Swedish co-production, and also enjoyed Norway’s Occupied (about an all-too-plausible Russian invasion of Norway), and Sweden’s Wallander.

    Now they’ve been joined by three seasons of Finland’s Helppo €lämä (Ea$y Living), about a small-time criminal and his family. Plus, Finnish can sound kinda like Elvish, if you aurally squint a bit, so that’s fun.

  121. 205

    Cicely!!!!
    *pouncehug*

    Dianne

    My kid’s school’s basement flooded. Apparently for the second time in 3 years. Yes, they have attempted to do something about it. This flood occurred when the fix from the last flood failed.

    The 1960s were bad for Germany’s rivers and creeks. Everything was straightened, put into concrete, made “modern”. That first village that was totally flooded had put the two rivers underfuckingground.
    We had some big floodings where I live in the 90s and they learned from that. Fortunately we’re in the location where you can do something about it. In many places federalism is biting people’s ass: The measures to prevent a flood would have to be taken by the next state over who isn’t going to spend a few hundred millions on something that doesn’t benefit them at all…

  122. 206

    Hi all,

    A quick stop to drop off these *hugs*. Busy this week getting work done and prepping for a long trip starting next week – a two-week trip out to Austin TX.

    Cheers!

  123. 207

    Giliell

    In many places federalism is biting people’s ass: The measures to prevent a flood would have to be taken by the next state over who isn’t going to spend a few hundred millions on something that doesn’t benefit them at all…

    This is a chronic problem here in the States as well, on a whole lot of issues. It also comes into play at lower levels, when cities merge in reality but not in law. For instance, I live in a contiguous metropolitan area of about 2.5 million people. Within this area are dozen municipalities and another dozen unincorporated communities in two states, however. The upshot is that infrastructure is a total clusterfuck; we’ve got four separately administered transit systems, separate sewer treatment and outflow, and endless wrangles about which municipality will pay how much for the new freeway overpass between them, etc. ad nauseum.

  124. 209

    giliell!
    *pouncehugback*
    We’ve got a couple of creeks downtown that were put underground—and are now being brought back aboveground. There’ve been sinkholes and such.

  125. 210

    Hugs to all and sundry.

    Half of the family has voted – Emily and me. I’m going to take her on a bookshop crawl later as a reward. All three local used bookstores, one of which is in the process of going out of business and another of which is attached to a library, but still…

  126. 211

    A thrush (a fieldfare, as far as I can tell) is nesting in a bush right under my office window. I noticed the nest and mother bird hanging around more than a week ago, but couldn’t see if there were eggs in the nest. Yesterday I started seeing two almost newly hatched chicks raising their heads from the nest.

    Probably in a few weeks those chicks will join other fieldfares in attempting to raid “my” raspberries in the nearby experimental garden where I work. It’s time to put up the nets.

  127. 212

    Well, we got a change in weather. Instead of having sudden thunderstorms and rainfall like earth is going to end like the last two weeks, today we ve had just some steady rainfall. They’re promising a dry day on Friday. I hope they’re right because people might take out the pitchforks if they’re wrong (no torches, though, they’re all damp)

    But hell were we lucky. There was school excursion day yesterday* and we** went to the organic farm of one of the girls who also celebrated her birthday yesterday. So we got a nice walk through the woods, a wonderful morning at the farm, her parents even grilled us some sausages and then we walked back, all in full sunshine. I was on my way home in the car when the world ended. I would not have wanted to be caught in that thunderstorm while being in the forest with the kids.

    *Dunno if other countries do them, too. Here, three or four times a year the schools have a day where the classes all take a trip together to do some team bonding and see interesting things.

    **I don’t have a class of my own (German classes have class teachers to the very end) so I hooked up with the 6th grade I teach most hours.

  128. 220

    I fucking hate buses. I’ve been waiting for an hour for two buses (each of them would do) that are supposed to come every 15 minutes.
    Pubic transportation is the worst.

  129. 221

    rq, cats can hold a grudge like nobody else, and they do not like it when their humans go away. The sort of welcome one gets from a cat is more like to be a resounding snub. Or the cat will give you a good scolding. Eventually you’ll be forgiven, but it usually takes a while.

  130. rq
    226

    AlexanderZ
    The more I read about them, the more I think that crows are way too smart for my own good. :/

  131. rq
    230

    AlexanderZ
    Thanks for confirming that it’s not just Finns having those nightmares (me, too!). 🙂
    Also, stop telling me scary shit about crows.

  132. 233

    Alexander Z

    Pubic transportation is the worst.

    Yep.
    Once in a lifetime, one way only and hurts as hell.

    +++
    Sometimes I’m wondering if my colleagues can read. I mean, we have those fucking TV screens that show us changes in the timetables. Today there was, in bold red letters, a sign that the kids from the welcome class are supposed to be in their assigned German classes all day. No prob for me as they’re always in my English classes. But by the third lesson I noticed that the girls were just lounging around in the hallway. “Mr. M not here”. They’re so new that they can be excused because their German is still so rudimentary they cannot read and understand that announcement.
    My colleagues, OTOH, are NOT excused for not noticing the kids weren’t there.
    The two lads I found are also not excused. Their German’s good enough.

  133. rq
    239

    It is so frickin cosy at home, why did I ever go to work today? It’s like a full-fledged autumn storm out there, all wind and cold rain, not like summer at all. Oh wait, this is summer. The end-of-May heatwave has been and gone, now to wait for that one sunny, hot week in July, and the Summer Checklist is complete!

  134. 241

    Good morning
    Anne

    In other news, there is mysterious wet stuff dripping from our sky this morning. Drizzle? Light rain? Whatever it is, it’s nice.

    Want some more?
    I have some spare rain and I think rq would be happy to chip in as well.

    Ice Swimmer

    Conventional wisdom says that a Finnish person trying to start a chat in this situation is intoxicated or crazy.

    I know imagine the cultural confusion of a Brit going to Finland and vice versa.

    +++
    I already packed 5 boxes. Gimme some praise.

  135. rq
    244

    Ice Swimmer @240
    Yeah, that one really got to me. That, and the ‘full bus’ picture.

    Giliell
    As mentioned, that’s one hand down. One more to go. And then a box for each of your toes. 🙂 Yay!

  136. rq
    247

    Anne
    Considering the sunny skies today, I do believe the rain has gone your way, please let me know as soon as it arrives!

    +++

    Those weeds had it coming.

  137. 248

    Considering the sunny skies today, I do believe the rain has gone your way,

    Or mine….

    +++
    Hope Tony is safe. My heart goes out to the victims and their family. Bigotry fucking kills

  138. 249

    Tony, thinking about you. You were in Orlando but recently moved a bit away, right? I hope you are safe, and also that all of your friends there are too.

  139. 252

    I’m safe y’all. Thanks.
    I live in Northwest Florida, about 6 hours away from Orlando. My parents and sister live there though. In fact, my sister has often gone to the club where the shooting occurred. She wasn’t there last night thankfully.

  140. 254

    *hugs* It’s scary when these things happen, even more when people we love live nearby. I hope your parents and sister are coping ok.

  141. rq
    255

    You know what else pisses me off in stories about the shooting? This:

    Congressman Alan Grayson identified the man and said he was in his late 20s. “He was a U.S. citizen. That’s not true of some of his family members,” he said.

    WAY TO NOT TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. Dude was an USAmerican. Accept that. Don’t deflect.

  142. 256

    Ah, so the perpetrator has enough of a percentage of suitably foreign* blood for this to be a terrorist attack?

    *and I don’t mean Irish

  143. rq
    257

    Beatrice
    Well, I would say it is a terrorist attack by any measure of the term – but not the kind of terrorism the cry of “Muslim!” will awake in people’s minds. It’s the kind of terrorism whose root causes get a blind eye and incomprehension, the kind of terrorism that is never, ever perpetrated by white young men (unless they’re mentally ill, of course).
    But yes. Foreign enough.

  144. 258

    I agree that it’s a terrorist attack, I was trying to reference how only “Islamic” attacks have been considered terrorism in recent years.
    Of course, Croatian papers at least are already writing that the FBI is investigating the attacker’s connections to Islamists because of course they are.

    The whole thing is so scary. When I first read about the attack, it was thought there were about 20 victims, now it’s 50 with mentions that there are probably more bodies.

    My condolences to families and friends of the victims, and I hope all the hospitalized people pull through.

  145. 261

    Isn’t it “funny” how those who never want to “politicise a tragedy” are quickly politicising this.
    My heartfelt sympathies to the LGBTQ community. You weren’t only victims of an act of terrorism, you’re also being used by bigots to further their agenda of hate.

  146. 262

    giliell @ 261

    And the ones getting more rich and powerful using fear and bigotry will pocket millions while giving penny privileges to the bigots who will destroy lives and livelyhoods of the scapegoated minorities.

  147. 264

    Obviously I’m pleased to hear that you are safe Tony, and that comes as a relief. However, I’m also thinking of all the innocent people affected by this brutal act of slaughter. Unfortunately, it’s playing into the hands of the bigots.

  148. 265

    On a happier note. Those are some lovely photos rq . You have some pretty flora and fauna in your garden. I just get slugs and snails!

    Also on a happier note: a great friend of mine has been awarded an MBE in the Queen’s birthday honours. I appreciate that a lot of people aren’t fans of the monarchy. But I am very pleased that someone ‘ordinary’ has received public recognition for the work they have done.

    She has received the award for services to music, but can’t play a note! She has overseen our orchestra for going on 30 years and has put in hours of tireless effort behind the scenes on our behalf. As I’m on the planning team, I’ve gained a broader understanding of some of the things that she has done, and her commitment is breath-taking. It couldn’t have gone to a more deserving individual.

    As an illustration, the first thing she said when being congratulated, was that she was embarrassed because so many others contribute to the band too. Also, yesterday, when everyone first had the chance to congratulate her, she, with my help, was making sure that coffee and tea were ready for the orchestra at break time. When the MBE was publicly announced, she got a spontaneous round of applause. I’m so pleased for her.

    The only slight annoyance, is that the only thing the local paper was concerned about was how many grandchildren she had. I doubt male recipients would have been asked that question!

    Sorry for the long post.

  149. rq
    266

    bragimike
    Congratulations to your friend/colleague! It certainly sounds well-deserved, and I’m sorry the media aren’t asking more relevant questions. But yay for her!!

  150. rq
    267

    re: Orlando
    I think it was Esteleth who pointed out elsewhere that, besides the victims of the shooting, there’s probably a whole bunch of people being outed by the video footage and the media blitz who may not be actually out to their families and/or friends yet (as I read on FB, some may be coming out to their families from a hospital bed…). I wonder how many additional people that puts into harm’s way.

  151. 269

    {{pokes head in and looks around, smiles shyly}}

    Hey Gang, remember me? Been a while. I haven’t been able to keep up with everything but I had some time to skim through to *kind of* catch up and realized I hadn’t said anything in months.

    Quick update: YOBling is learning to cope with her depression (as are we all). School is out for the summer and she passed with A’s and B’s despite all of the turbulence, so we are hoping that we can use this break to really focus on better coping with the stressors of school when it starts back up. One of the big hurdles has been getting her to come to us *before* she sinks so low. But progress is being made, so yay for that.

    So much has happened in the thread, I can’t call out everything I want to, so
    Big pile of hugs for everybody!!

  152. rq
    270

    Of course I remember you, YOB. Mind like a steel trap! Sometimes doesn’t let the information back out, too, haha.
    Great to hear from you, and I’m glad things seem to be progressing well (as well as can be). Good luck in making strides in figuring out methods and materials for coping – I wish you all the success!
    *hugs*

  153. 271

    Opening with a *pouncehugflurry*.

    Resting after the *pouncehugflurry*.
    Just don’t have the stamina I used to…but there’s just no “phoning it in” with a *pouncehugflurry*.

    rq:

    Hey any Finns in the Speakeasy, how accurate are these?

    Huh.
    I had no idea that I was Finnish!

    Tony!, I’m happy and relieved to hear that you (and your sister!) are all right.
    Sympathy/condolences/solidarity to the families and friends of those affected, and to the LGBTQ community.

    YOB!
    *extra pouncehug*

  154. 272

    Hi, YOB!
    I’m so glad that the Yobling is doing better and that she has such good grades.

    cicely

    Huh.
    I had no idea that I was Finnish!

    I’m super happy you’re here and imma let you Finnish, but by those cartoons everybody is Finnish. 😛

    Speaking of Finnish nightmares, I often have a Catch 22 nightmare: When there are free spots on the bus (i.e no-one in both seats), but the person next to me doesn’t want to move I keep wondering what’s up with that person. When they do move I wonder what’s wrong with me.
    Then I come back home, turn on a nature show and the narrator says that humans are social animals. I call bullshit.

  155. 273

    I’m going to this rally tomorrow night, cosponsored by our local queer community centre, in cooperation with the City, the local Pride committee, and our Muslim community, to show togetherness in the face of divisiveness.

    Tony, I’m glad you and yours are alright; forgive me for not being up on the rest of the thread, but this shooting hit home, as it were. This was my tribe this time. It hurts, physically.

  156. 274

    CaitieCat, extra shiny hugs from me and Hobbes are waiting for you in the pillow fort.

    YOB, good to read you again. I’m glad things are better for Yobling.

    Everybody else, hugs are available, apply as needed.

  157. 275

    Tony, I’m glad to hear that you and yours are okay. I must admit that my first thought on hearing was concern for you, not for all those poor people and their loved ones. Such is the human animal I suppose, but it did cause me some mild guilt when I realised how I had reacted.

  158. 276

    Hey everyone. When I was last here I promised to respond directly to all you kind folks. Unfortunately, I had some bad shit happen before I could do so. I know it’s silly, but I didn’t have the resources to talk about it. Especially not here, where all I seem to do is dump my problems and run away. Now, months later, it’s almost over and I’m pretty much on an even keel again.

    So here’s the deal: the bloke renting the house next door turned out to be paranoid. Please understand that I mean that in a pretty literal sense. I’m no expert of course, so my assessment of his actions could be wrong, but well, I think I have grounds to say that.

    They moved in a few months ago and other than when we brought them a plate of cookies and introducing ourselves we never really saw them again. Until they got a goat.

    Goats spend a third of their time planning their escape, a third of their time executing that plan, and a third of their time being free from human constraints. The neighbour’s goat is no exception.

    The first time it got out they were away and Ms. Fishy took it back and put it in a distant paddock. The second time it got out was late at night. When we dragged it back to their paddock the bloke ‘K’ yelled at us from his porch. He accused us of trying to steal his goat despite our obvious attempts to return it. He refused to come get it and when I yelled at him to “…Take responsibility for your damn animals.” he threatened to come over and “Take care of you!” Great.

    The next morning it was in our orchard again eating the juvenile fruit trees. I tied it up and sent a text telling him to come get it or I’m going to give it to the ranger. The next thing I know there’s frantic banging on our front door. I open it and there’s K screaming at me that he’s “…got a fucking knife and I’m going to slit your fucking throat!” He did indeed have a knife, and his unhinged rage was unfeigned.

    Fortunately, and I use that word with a certain degree of irony, this is not the first time I’ve been threatened with a knife. I used to work in a pretty dodgy part of town and I’d been robbed in that store five times, four of which were at knife point.

    I don’t panic in these situations, and I don’t immediately return aggression with aggression which many folks seem to think is the correct response. Seriously, if you’re male and I don’t know you well I’d never tell you this story. The amount of macho posturing it engenders, even among people who I thought would know better, is just sad.

    My first clear impression once I got over the surprise was that he had banged on the door and then backed away almost 3 meters. If really wanted to stab me he would have waited right by the door. I managed to talk him down, and got a pretty good sense of his mental state as I did so.

    He accused me again of trying to steal his goat. He pointed out that he knew that we’d been on his property because he’d seen us on his security cameras. Security cameras, plural, on a rental property… We used to live in that house, they didn’t come with it. The fact that the first time we were returning his goat, and returning his kitten the second didn’t seem to matter. He accused me of being a paedophile: “I’ve seen how you look at my kids.!” (Yeah, he has kids, and barring the youngest girl they’re really nice.) He blamed us for his fences not being able to hold his goat in. This was a guy who was clearly not perceiving reality as it actually is.

    I finally managed to get him to take the goat. Twenty minutes later the cops arrive. He’d called them claiming something or other, I never did find out what. I know this cop, he’s a customer of mine. He was clearly was on my side. I told him about the knife, but chose not to press charges. It was my word against K’s and his girlfriend’s, and the more I thought about the more I was convinced that his guy was afraid. Afraid of me, afraid of everything really, and in light of that escalating the situation seemed like a bad idea. I didn’t want to push him into a corner where he felt like his only recourse was violence. The cop disagreed, but was thoughtful enough to not push it.

    And so I was left with the aftermath. My childhood was one of constant fear. Between an unstable alcoholic father and neighbourhood bullies you could say that I have been trained to be fearful. Intellectually I knew that I was most likely going to be fine. I had a good read on him, and if it came down to a physical altercation I wouldn’t be unprepared this time. But my adrenal glands cared not one whit about all of that.

    I’ve spent the last two months, or however long it’s been, in a constant state of unfocused panic. I’ve only seen him once since the incident, he passed me in the supermarket. He looked scared and angry and practically ran past me The goat hasn’t got out since, though every time something moves unexpectedly outside our windows I get a spike of adrenaline. I’ve had to forbid The Small Fry from playing the “Let’s scare Daddy.” game. I fear my response should she really manage it.

    Anyway, in the last week my anxiety has begun to subside, and yesterday the owner of the house came by with the police to tell K that he has 21 days to vacate. It’s almost over. All I have to do is to keep treating him like a dangerous wild animal: keep your distance, don’t do anything unexpected, and never back him into a corner, real or perceived, and we should be alright.

    I wanted to wait until I had something positive to share before telling this story. I’d planned on getting a half decent recording of the song I described when last I was here so folks could hear what I was on about. But, well, I really haven’t had the energy to do much of anything. Go figure.

    Anyway, there’s my long and stupid excuse for once again rudely disappearing. I now it would have been okay with most of you to share this sooner, but I didn’t feel good about it. Yeah, and I know how silly that is too.

    I hope all of you are healthy and happy, and free from extra-special neighbours and all the other shit that life likes to throw around.

  159. 279

    Thanks chigau.

    Thanks Tony. I know I can, I really do. But something in me really, really doesn’t want to be *that* person, the one that only takes and never gives when it comes to emotional support. And because I haven’t the time or energy of late to be supportive it feels easier to be silent.

    And to that end:

    Caitiecat, that’s so great about your family! I hope that beginning grows into something wider and more joyful for all.

    bragimike Lying Imposter Syndrome is lying, again. That asshole has a lot to answer for. I hope that it’s getting better.

    YOB I remember you too, you’re one of the good ones. You know, like all the folks here: the opposite of most internet commenters. And hey, if it helps any you can point to the fact that I’ve been ducking in and out of these threads waaaay more than you have. 🙂

  160. rq
    280

    FossilFishy
    *hugs*
    That is a scary neighbour to have, and I’d be freaking out, too – minus any previous threatened-with-a-knife experience. I’m glad that they’re leaving relatively soon, and I hope that, once they’re gone, that your nerves will be able to settle again.
    Either way, it’s good to hear from you, and here’s to a return of energy!

    CaitieCat
    *hugs*
    and
    *hugs*

    AlexanderZ
    I know how you feel.
    Sometimes I’m that person who won’t move, though, and I do it because, if I do, people will look at me and think I’m strange, because I’m switching seats, like all the time. And then when I stay, I keep hoping to myself that the person next to me isn’t: (1) thinking that I’m flirting; (2) feeling extremely uncomfortable; (3) going to try and speak to me.
    So many ways to be uncomfortable in public transportation.

    cicely
    We are all Finnish, as it happens…

  161. 281

    *Hugs* FossilFishy. I hope that your neighbour leaves without any further problem. They sound like they need some help.

    My Imposter Syndrome has abated for the time being, but it lurks there ready to pounce at any moment when my insecurity is triggered.

    Never feel bad about venting here. We all do it. It’s good to share the good and not so good things here. It’s why I love this space, and many thanks to Tony for continuing to provide it.

  162. 283

    *extra-large hug-bundle* for CaitieCat

    FossilFishy!
    *gentle, nurturing pouncehug*
    Sorry about the paranoid goat-owner. I hope this’ll be the fastest 21 days on record.

    bragimike:

    Never feel bad about venting here. We all do it. It’s good to share the good and not so good things here. It’s why I love this space, and many thanks to Tony for continuing to provide it.

    So much THIS.

  163. 286

    HI folks
    Big hugs all around, especially for Fossil Fishy

    Me, I’m way too overworked to suffer from Impostor’s Syndrome. Did you know that when you’re the one doing 90% of the daily chores in a family you’re also rewarded of doing 90% of the packing when it comes to moving?

    Also, I had my last class at the evening school I’ve been teaching at for 15 years tonight (my choice). Very strange feeling, especially since I haven’t had any news from the education ministry. In 4 weeks I could be really actually without a job for the first time in 19 years….

  164. 287

    FossilFishy
    You’ve handled that situation superbly. Very well done!!

    RTT:
    Watched Russian news on the Orlando terrorist attack*. As expected much was said about the terrorist being an ISIS supporter, and a remark was thrown about Russia’s “just war against ISIS in Syria”. Remarkably no-one mentioned that gay clubs, or anything “promoting or advocating deviant behavior” (as written in Russian law), is prohibited and that prohibition is strongly enforced whenever the leadership gets bored.
    Not to mention that crimes against LGBT community are never investigated and LGBT people are fair game in the streets.

    Yet again the US right and Russian mainstream shows how much they have in common, except that Russia gets to do all the things the US right wants to do.

    * Is there a single English word for “terrorist attack”? In Russian there is “terract” (i.e. a portmanteau of a terrorist act), in Hebrew there is “pigua” (derived from “harm” or “strike”, but has no meaning other than a terrorist attack), but what does English have?

  165. rq
    288

    AlexanderZ
    I don’t know about English, but in Latvian it’s ‘terorakts’, sooo probably derived similarly to / originating from the Russian term. I’ve stopped reading the local news, as they’re regurgitating all the same loud USAmerican headlines I can read elsewhere, with extra islamophobic and homophobic commentary on top (‘Why are people homophobic? Well, it must be that they are disgusted at the thought of people who will not reproduce, it’s an evolutionary reaction, you know, which contrasts human rights, of which accepting homosexuality as normal is the absolute extreme – in essense, the West stands for human rights and this shooter represents biology!’). Fuck that shit.

    +++

    So, next week Bucharest. Hello, Impostor Syndrome! I will concentrate instead on the challenge of finding a field of flowers in the city of Bucharest – can’t have Midsummer’s Eve without the obligatory flower crown! I will, however, refrain from actually moderating my activity while wearing it.

  166. 292

    Alexander

    Is there a single English word for “terrorist attack”?

    Linguistically speaking “terrorist attack” is a single “word”. English is notoriously reluctant to make real compounds like other languages do. German, on the other hand, is notoriously eager to make compounds 🙂

    +++
    What a day. I think tonight I’ll need to watch a very sad movie and have a very good cry to get all that penned up frustration out.
    First I’m totally stressed out with the end of school year marathon.
    Second I’d really love to know how the fuck things will go on next year. Seriously, by now even a rejection would be at least information
    Third, #1 got into trouble at school because she bit another kid (who teased her before)
    Fourth, two students lifted their presentation wholecloth from the web. I’m not even sure if I’m angrier about them cheating or them thinking me and my colleague would be so stupid they’d get away with it.
    And finally, to put the cherry on the shit sundae, I just discovered that #1 left the door of the freezer open and I had to throw away some pounds of meat and fish.

  167. 294

    rq,

    The Rand Corporation, a non-partisan U.S. think-tank

    Dismissed because “non-partisan U .S. think-tank”, I don’t have a very high opinion of organizations that label themselves as thinky tanks.

    I’m not as optimistic as some people regarding major warfare in “the West” in the future, but I think at least our generation might be safe for a while.

  168. rq
    297

    Beatrice
    I did dismiss a lot of what the article had about impending war due to that think-tank (mostly because of the name), but honestly? It’s still NATO planting troops here. Pardon me if I feel a bit suspicious and wary.

    Anyway *hugs* and *higs* all over.

  169. 298

    rq

    It’s still NATO planting troops here. Pardon me if I feel a bit suspicious and wary.

    Could be worse. Could be Russia planting it’s troops there. Besides, it’s Canadians in Latvia – you might meet someone you know!
    Speaking of which, two articles from Crimea:
    100,000 flee ‘worsening oppression’ as Russia tightens grip on Crimea
    Crimea hands out military draft papers to newborn boys
    Anyway, have fun in Bucharest! Bring back lots of photos!

    giliell

    What a day. I think tonight I’ll need to watch a very sad movie and have a very good cry to get all that penned up frustration out.

    So that’s why people watch sad movies?
    I never understood quite understood those movies before. It all makes sense now.
    (Yes, I’m clueless when it comes to movies. And pretty much everything else)

    cicely

    The Arms of Individuals in Same-Sex Marriages

    Now that’s progress! Heraldry is the most conservative occupation there is and them accepting the reality of single-sex couples shows that “being conservative” is no excuse for homophobic bigotry.

    All The Protesting May Have Paid Off Because The ‘Stanford Judge’ Has Been Removed From Another Rape Case

    That’s great news!

  170. rq
    299

    AlexanderZ

    So that’s why people watch sad movies?

    Oh yes! It’s cathartic. You have to watch alone, though, for full relieving effect.

    Could be worse. Could be Russia planting it’s troops there.

    You are a true comfort. 🙂
    (Anyway, I thought the same thing, re: Canadians, but I don’t think I know anyone in the armed forces anymore.)

  171. 300

    rq

    I’m glad that they’re leaving relatively soon, and I hope that, once they’re gone, that your nerves will be able to settle again.

    Thanks. I kinda hope that I don’t calm down completely before they go. Lately I’ve been starting to have stupid fantasies about messing with him. I own a balaclava (useless here but I can’t give up that symbol of the O’l Sod). Putting it on and walking past his cameras in the middle of the night to freak him out crossed my mind. I won’t do it, if for no other reason than it would be an asshole thing to do, let alone the risk that if he loses his shit he might take it out on his girlfriend or kids. Sigh. Fantasy worlds are just so satisfying…

    bragimike

    *Hugs* FossilFishy. I hope that your neighbour leaves without any further problem. They sound like they need some help.

    He certainly does. Whether it’s a brain anomaly or drug use some help is clearly called for. Unfortunately, at this point I’m literally the last person in the world from whom he’d take advice.

    My Imposter Syndrome has abated for the time being, but it lurks there ready to pounce at any moment when my insecurity is triggered

    Much like my anxiety. The hell of these sorts of problems is knowing intellectually what’s going on and not being able to do anything concrete about it. Stupid brains are stupid.

    cicely

    *gentle, nurturing pouncehug*
    Sorry about the paranoid goat-owner. I hope this’ll be the fastest 21 days on record.

    Thanks. [Gets out lint brush] Ms. Fishy keeps pointing out that it could be longer than that. I’m not counting on any particular timeline. The relief comes from knowing that the owner wants them out so it *will* happen eventually. That owner doesn’t like us much either. We used to rent that place and we had some conflict with him. I was worried that they would make common cause against us. I can put up with almost anything so long as I know that eventually it will end.

    Beatrice Thanks. How’s life treating you?

    giliellThanks. Gah, moving. I’d rather insert Banana Slug up my nose than move again. I hope that it goes improbably smoothly. And geez, moving, work troubles, and kid troubles as well? I think you deserve as many sad movies cry-fests as it takes, and for that matter any and all other coping strategies that you deem necessary.

    AlexanderZ Thanks. I really appreciate that. I told the cop that my only goal was to get out of this situation with no one getting hurt, including the asshole with a knife. I’m perfectly willing to let said asshole”win”, to let him think he’s got the best of me if that’s the outcome. Unfortunately, so many people seem to think that the only good outcome is to be dominate in one form or another.

  172. 301

    rq

    Sometimes I really hate my colleagues.

    Heh. I’m pretty sure I’ve hated everyone in my life at one point or another. I usually get over it pretty quick though.

    Isn’t the big lesson from long term relationships that once in a while you’re going to hate even the people you care about the most. The more time you spend with someone the chances of seeing them at their worse rises to the point of inevitability. Add to that the fact you haven’t self selected your co-workers and I’d be amazed if you’d never felt that way.

  173. rq
    302

    I usually get over it pretty quick though.

    I would, if they weren’t bigoted, ablist assholes who would advocate for the death penalty and also do not see any societal (or personal, for that matter) benefits to people with disabilities.

  174. 304

    Wow, you’ve nothing to be sorry about rq, that’s above and beyond the run of the mill aggravations I was thinking of. What a shitty thing to have to put up with.

  175. 305

    *hugs* rq . It’s horrible having bigoted people around that you have no choice but to associate with. Hopefully Bucharest will give you a break. I hope you enjoy yourself there. I’m sure you will.

    Giliell *hugs* to you too. I hope thing settle down for you soon.

    FossilFishy it’s good to hear from you. Keep well.

    Waves to AlexanderZ, Cicely, Beatrice and Anne in the pillow fort.

  176. 306

    Wow, FRance is now convicting violent football fans (white christian…) within three days. How the fuck can that be a fair trial, especially when the accused don’t even speak the language?

  177. 308

    Giliell,

    I presume there were translators involved, they are not being convicted to hard labour and their crimes are pretty plain.
    I’m not exactly heart broken or worried about miscarriage of justice.

  178. 309

    I can take my vacation next week! Woohoo. A week of no work, spent in Slovenia.
    I will have to start studying for my next exam, but I can do it in the garden so yay!

    #happy

  179. 310

    @Beatrice
    Yay for vacations! Here’s wishing you a wonderful one.
    I always rated the success of my vacations
    by how much stuff I did not do.

    @Giliell
    When I moved a couple o years ago,
    I discovered that for some of my things
    their value was inversely proportional to their weight.

  180. 311

    rq/beatrice
    We’re talking about the same group of people, for whom I don’t actually harbour any sympathies. Still I don’t think that a fair trial, one in which the accused can find a lawyer of their choice, review the evidence and defend themselves properly can be had within a few hours after the actual crime was committed and I don’t harbour any illusions that those trials will be restricted to such thoroughly unlikable people as football hooligans and not also be used against protesters and workers on strike (especially given the French, well, prostest culture).
    I also stand by the opinion that it doesn’t matter how unlikable or guilty somebody is: they all deserve a fair trial. If we don’t hold up those rules for the worst people, we will not be able to hold them up for the rest of us.

  181. 312

    Beatrice, enjoy the vacation!

    The author of Dilbert has an obnoxious jerk calling himself “social justice warrior” in this week’s strip. It appears at the top of the comics in my local paper, so it’s hard to ignore. I’m not going to link to the comic, but feel free to look it up yourselves.

  182. 313

    bragimike
    *waves back*

    giliell

    Wow, FRance is now convicting violent football fans (white christian…) within three days.

    Convicting or deporting?
    Because as far as I know none of them go to the jail – the state merely marks these foreign nationals as unwanted in its borders. That doesn’t require a trial and never required a trial. I know people who got themselves deported from Germany just as swiftly by being a minor nuisance (they wanted to get deported because they didn’t have money for a ticket home).

    Beatrice
    Hooray!
    Best of luck on your exam!

    Anne
    As far as I know the author of Dilbert is and obnoxious jerk. Anything else is just projection.

  183. rq
    315

    Giliell
    What AlexanderZ said.

    I also stand by the opinion that it doesn’t matter how unlikable or guilty somebody is: they all deserve a fair trial.

    Agreed.

    I don’t harbour any illusions that those trials will be restricted to such thoroughly unlikable people as football hooligans and not also be used against protesters and workers on strike (especially given the French, well, prostest culture).

    Since they can’t just deport their own nationals, but they can deport foreign nationals actively wreaking havoc within their borders, I think those are two different situations. (In the sense that for their own people, to whom all the laws of the country apply, they have to go through the entire due process of the law; for foreign nationals, it’s not so much that they’re applying the law more firmly as they are refusing to apply the due process of the law at all by returning these people to their country of origin – because I’m pretty sure there’s different rules for pressing, say, criminal charges against someone from a different country (I am not a French law expert).)

    AlexanderZ

    I know people who got themselves deported from Germany just as swiftly by being a minor nuisance (they wanted to get deported because they didn’t have money for a ticket home).

    Wait, you can do that?

    Beatrice
    Have a good vacation! You deserve the time off (even if you have to study… a little bit…). 🙂

    Anne
    *hugs* Tea?

    Alloa, vereverum!

  184. rq
    316

    Never mind, just found a local article where three Russian football fans were convicted and sentenced to prison for violence that occurred last Saturday – while 20 others are being deported. Can’t find any detailed information, though now I’m wondering if they’re being brought before the court on administrative or criminal charges (I believe there’s a difference in processing time as well as defense methods). Administrative charges would make sense; criminal charges – while logical – would be slower, more painstaking, and with proper process of the law.

  185. 317

    rq and Alexander

    Convicting or deporting?

    German news says convicting them to sentences between 12 and 24 months, so yes, we’re talking about prison time here. I hope we can agree that it should take more than 72 hours of preparation and trial before you lock somebody up for a considerable amount of time.

    +++
    Close your ears, I’m going to yell. About courts again, this time in the other direction.
    Fuck courts, fuck parents
    Apparently I cannot give those two cheaters the zero points they roundly deserve because “lifting things off a website and putting them into a Powerpoint presentation” counts as work nowadays. Sure, they didn’t write a single word of that handout themselves, but it meets the criteria I set, so they get points for that, right?
    Why, because parents will sue when their precious little princes get bad grades and courts will side with the parents and their students, so the schools order us teachers to be nice to those kids and then we wonder why we get a society where people think they can just take.
    I propose we use that line of thinking on other forms of theft as well: If you steal 100 bucks and get caught the consequence is that you get to keep 20 because you made an effort, right?

  186. 320

    Giliell, [hugs]. Yes, tea, please.

    It’s going to be hot today and hot tomorrow and hot the day after and… 110° in some of the inland valleys by Monday, dry, windy, probably more wildfires. What global climate change? What drought?

  187. 321

    rq

    Wait, you can do that?

    Totally! The down side is that you’re forever banned from that country. So that person can’t enter North Korea, Iran, Syria, Saudi Arabia and Germany.

    giliell

    I hope we can agree that it should take more than 72 hours of preparation and trial before you lock somebody up for a considerable amount of time.

    Yes we can.
    I should have known better before rushing to defend France.

    Reduced sentence for artistically pleasing murders.

    Intriguing…

    Anne
    AGW sucks. The weather here alternates between 24C and 34C in two-day cycle for the last month. These weather changes are really doing a number on my body.

  188. 322

    That strange moment when your former landlord calls you to ask how to turn on the washing machine because he forgot how to use it.
    ….
    ok

    Giliell,
    You are of course right, my disgust over the behavior of football “fans” in France overcame my good sense.

    Something else going on in France besides football:
    http://www.theatlantic.com/photo/2016/06/monthslong-protests-and-strikes-in-france-over-labor-law-changes/487196/

    I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the law is in Senate this week, as the whole nation is being “entertained” by hosting the football championship.

    Giliell already mentioned protesters, so this just further proves her point. The government wants to stop the protests, I hope they don’t use the precedent against protesters too.

  189. 323

    Of course Croatian hooligans won’t be bested by a bunch of English and Russians.
    Can I take back that bit where I agreed with Giliell about fair trials? just kidding, just kidding.

  190. 325

    Armchair doctor and all, but I’d say stress-related lowered immunity, Giliell. I hope you get to have a bit of a rest.
    Can husband take a bit of a load with moving?

  191. 326

    re. my new apartment

    Owner should really warn people that previous inhabitant had a cat or some other beast.

    Only after taking a closer look at the couch did I discover that was still (after a vacuuming, washing and another vacuuming) covered in cat hairs. The first night here, I covered it in a sheet (since it doubles as my bed), convinced that the cleaning lady had got it clean. At that moment I hadn’t known about the animal yet. I kept the sheet over, since no one but my mom visited yet, and I was too lazy to do the couch/bed/couch transformation every morning and evening.

    Then I discovered cat hairs on the chair. Very thin white hairs that you can’t even notice unless you look real close.
    Now I rolled the rug because it has some stains and discovered it was also covered in thin white hairs that also resisted two vacuumings. I also removed the sheet from the couch and , at a closer look…. ugh. It seems ok when you just glance at it, but when you look closely… disgusting.

    I suppose the only solution is to get a white(ish) cat, because I can’t seem to be able to get these things clean.
    If I had an inner goddess germophobe, it would be wrapped in protective clothing and crying right now. I am resisting the urge to blame my persisting cough on the filth (I know it’s just cat hairs, but they are not my cat’s hairs), since my cough always persists for weeks after illness.

  192. 327

    Beatrice
    The only way to remove cat hairs is persistent brushing with a brush marketed against pet hair. I use something like this.
    Or I used to use. Since it’s my cat’s hair I don’t care where it goes anymore unless it’s in the food. And yes, your landlord is an asshole – imagine if you had an allergy!

    giliell
    Summer cold are the worst! Feel better!

  193. 330

    Heh, I wish I could burn it. Unless the owner allows me to throw it away, I’ll just have to keep it rolled in the corner until she can take it (she lives in another town).

  194. rq
    333

    Dammit my computer eated the previous comment, which makes me sound less like someone interrupting a conversation with nonsense.
    Too lazy now to recover it, oh well, so y’all get a different comment.

    Good luck with the cat hair, Beatrice. I think the carpet is hopeless, but it might get better over time (we had a white-white cat with a persistent hair problem, but few carpets, so I don’t actually know how easy it is to get that kind of hair out of a carpet).

    Giliell
    Hope you manage some time to rest for the headcold, I would certainly agree with Beatrice’s armchair diagnosis, but obviously the recent rainy weather is no help at all. 🙁

    *hugs* and *higs* to everyone else!
    There’s a bunch of butterflies just outside the window. I don’t know how they manage to fly in this wind.

  195. 335

    rq,

    Nope. Apparently he’s just awesome.

    I also have to start watching Fast and Furious movies, I’ve recently seen one with him and it came as a total surprise. I was convinced the franchise was boring car chases with character-less characters, but it isn’t.

  196. 336

    RTT:
    Yesterday Putin responded to increased NATO activities in Eastern Europe saying that he is at a loss as to why such an action is warranted considering that USSR has been gone for 25 years and Russia’s military doesn’t pose a threat to the West. At the very same news broadcast (but in a different item) there was an item about the glorious reconstruction and modernization of Russia’s army on a scale unseen since the collapse of USSR and the return of a Soviet era relic (a red star that was supposed to go on the front gate of the base or something) to a military unit.
    In other news Russia isn’t happy about the IAAF’s decision to ban Russia from the Olympics due to wide-spread and state-sponsored doping. It hopes that the IOC would reverse that decision, but that doesn’t seem very likely.
    Mind you, individual Russian athletes can still compete as long as they don’t come as part of the Russian delegation. However, considering how many people were outright forced into the doping scheme I doubt that those athletes could do so without fear for their lives and livelihoods.

  197. 338

    Actual title in Croatian papers : Mother of two girls killed: A tragedy that could lead to Britain staying in EU

    … yes, that “mother of two” is the British MP

    *facepalm*

  198. rq
    339

    Sounds like clickbait (as in, ‘oh, what kind of a tragic circumstance would lead such an ordinary tragedy to decide the fate of an entire country???? let us click!’).

  199. 340

    Sorry, kind of threadrupt, but just wanted to pop in and say that the application for a library card we just filled out for my daughter asked what her sex was. What the hell does that have to do with getting a library card?

  200. 341

    rq, cute! You take great photos.

    Dianne, wait, what? What difference does the kid’s sex make when they’re checking out books? Is the librarian going to decide if the books are gender-appropriate?

  201. 343

    re: rq’s photo
    That’s a cutie. I had to evict a rather large spider from my bedroom this morning. He tried to climb back in, so I had to make it clear that it wouldn’t do.
    I hope it didn’t come back again.

  202. 344

    Dianne
    I think for 95% of instances where you have to note your sex it is completely irrelevant…

    +++
    Yeah, thanks y’all.
    Full blown summer flu and it’s the worst time for that because final grades need to be handed in by Wednesday. Hopefully I’ll get better until Tuesday (Monday is my “day off”).

    beatrice
    There are those sticky-tape like lint removers. They could work…

  203. rq
    346

    Packing for Bucharest. It’s making me nervous.
    Sorry, y’all, for going on about it, because it’s supposed to be a good work trip but it’s coming at a bad time emotionally and I’m having a hard time with it (and no, can’t back out).
    Also the irrational fear of having a layover in Paris. :/ Someone tell me I’m being silly about it.

  204. 347

    rq,

    You’re being silly about it. Have a great time in Bucharest, you’ll do great at the conference so just make sure to enjoy your time off too.

  205. rq
    348

    Thanks, Beatrice. That actually helps. 🙂
    (Just saw the weather forecast HOLY SHIT I’M GOING TO MEEELLLLT.)

  206. 349

    rq,
    If weather has been as weird there as it’s here, you might freeze the day after melting. Bring something warm’s what I’m saying.

  207. 350

    rq, what Beatrice says, you’re going to be great. [hugs]

    According to the backyard thermometer, it got up to 109° this afternoon, currently at 108°. Patio thermometer says it’s currently 102° with 10% (!) relative humidity. We’re less than 30 miles from the Pacific, so it must be even worse at my mother’s, further inland. And it’s predicted to be even hotter tomorrow. Yuck.

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