Speakeasy #12

Welcome to the social thread at the Progressive Pub. Here at the Speakeasy, you can metaphorically put your feet up, grab a virtual beverage from your resident bartender (me), and socialize with the regulars. Gab, share recipes, share news, rage about your problems or the problems of the world, discuss impending vacations, share book recommendations, talk about your jobs and your families, your hopes and dreams, and pretty much anything else you want. Everyone is welcome, just be kind to one another (and leave bigotry at the door).

Speakeasy #12

844 thoughts on “Speakeasy #12

  1. 701

    He won’t. Maybe surgery and weeks of therapy would help, but we don’t have money or time for that. We will have to say goodbye. I am devastated, and L is shattered.

  2. 706

    In addition to Nice:
    1. Military coup in Turkey.
    2. Israel’s new chief IDF rabbi permits raping women:

    The rabbi gave a more shocking answer on the same site when asked if soldiers were permitted to rape women during war. Karim replied that, as part of maintaining fitness for the army and the soldiers’ morale during fighting, it is permitted to “breach” the walls of modesty and “satisfy the evil inclination by lying with attractive Gentile women against their will, out of consideration for the difficulties faced by the soldiers and for overall success.”

    Note: the article is a few days old. Since then the high command said it stands by its decision to nominate Karim.

  3. rq

    I’m so sorry. 🙁


    Well, see, it doesn’t work like that – it could be any hole in any floor and there’s no proof that it happened at work.
    So I consulted with a colleague, called the EMS (which made me feel bad because I’m taking them away from real emergencies), who took me to the hospital, where some nice people took my blood (to see if I’ve been drinking at work), had an x-ray, had a cute doctor poke at my ankle and tell me it’s a medium sprain, and here’s the paperwork for a registered work injury, which goes on record and is something that leads to Consequences for my workplace. Considering the only true reason they could write in for the accident was “stepped into a hole in the floor”, which just doesn’t look good. And I got three sick days, so no overtime hours today (which is a bit crappy.)
    Anyway, this went all the way up the chain of command to the current Chief of Police… who apparently said he’s very sorry. I have opinions about that, but I comfort myself (it hurts a lot worse this morning 🙁 ) that it’s for the good. (My guess is, they’ll put another plank over those holes and consider it done. I’m glad we submitted the huge stack of papers back in November.)

  4. 709


    I think your colleague consulted you well, even if nothing comes of the whole thing (except another plank over the hole – what will they do when someone trips over the plank?)

  5. 710

    Big hugs

    Stop the world, I want to leave.
    As my colleague said yesterday: History is a wonderful teacher. Too bad she doesn’t have any students.

  6. rq


    what will they do when someone trips over the plank?

    Put another plan on the plank, with little ramps on both ends to ensure a smooth gradient?
    Well, we’re supposed to move to the third floor in August… except they haven’t yet finished renovating the fifth floor, where the people currently on the third floor are supposed to go, so they haven’t been able to renovate the third floor at all yet. And then there’s all that equipment to move.

    I feel ya. 2016 is really going to hell in a handbasket, and I keep wondering, has it always been this bad and I’m just noticing now and feeling it more because I’m an adult and nobody’s sheltering me? Or is it really getting worse? I feel like the world is on the brink of something which could go either way, and I’m feeling the tilt towards the ungood side.

  7. 712


    I read an article yesterday about a group of government employees in Osijek (CRO) who have been working without electricity for the last month. They work until their laptops’ batteries run out, they had on eair conditioning in that scorching weather last two weeks…. and all because they were supposed to move to another location while their offices are renovated, but no alternative location was provided.
    So electricity was turned off by city officials, presumably to get them to leave but of course they couldn’t leave because their superiors in the government would probably fire them if they just stopped going to work..

  8. 713

    Speaking of weather… it’s 14°C in Zagreb. Last week, temperatures would already be up in the 30-something range at this time of day.

  9. rq

    Funny, similar thing happened to a government unit here, too, where they moved everyone… except the section that is clearly women dominated. They forgot to build them a new korpuss. So what happened was, everyone else moved, they shut off all the utilities (in winter), and then figured out that hey, this one unit hasn’t moved, whatever happened to them? Only to find out that they were still going to the old building (no heat, no water, no electricity) because they had nowhere else to go. As far as I know, this situation hasn’t been resolved yet, but I could be wrong because I just haven’t heard any updates lately.
    So this shit happens.

    It’s nice here today, mid20s. Was rather cool last week, but supposed to get hot again next week. Eh. At least I get to stay home and weed the roses.

  10. 715

    Dalillama, I’m so sorry 🙁
    It hurts a lot to say goodbye, but it’s probably the best for your dog anyway. Even when money is not an issue, prolonged treatments with uncertain outcomes are rarely good for animals. But it’s always so difficult and sad 🙁 *hugs*



    You have my sympathies. Twisted ankles hurt so much! I hope at least something good can come out of that. :-/ And by good I mean better than a plank with little ramps on the sides!

    Thankfully we don’t have holes in the floor, but we’re not far from having holes in the ceiling and we’re beneath the washing area of the floor above us. So sometimes we get “rain”. And then there’s the fact that the lab is tiny and we have to use ALL THE SPACE all the way up to the ceiling, meaning that we are constantly climbing the stepladder to reach stuff. Of course sometimes we also have to climb the stepladder just to prevent something in the upper shelves from getting wet. One of these days someone is going to fall and get hurt. And I predict nothing will happen.

  11. rq

    We should start a Bad Labs club. 😀 I feel your pain! We don’t have rain in the lab, but we do have the occasional cat dropping by (literally – through the ceiling tiles).

  12. 717


    Ha, I think I remember that story with the cat! That never happened. But sometimes the “rain” vaguely smells of rat urine. I think it’s when the stuff being washed above us are animal cages. Those are the worst days.

    I don’t know what it is like to work in a lab without being worried about water falling from above and always being prepared to protect expensive equipment with plastic covers. When we were in the third (and last) floor we had actual rain in winter. Then we moved to the first floor and it is what it is. So, yes, I’m totally on board with the Bad Labs club. 🙂

  13. rq

    Poem. Via here.



    I don’t know what it is like to work in a lab without being worried about water falling from above and always being prepared to protect expensive equipment with plastic covers.

    Yeah, if I was moved to a regular, properly organized lab right now, I’d feel very lost and inadequate and like I’m not qualified to be there. 😀
    BadLabs Club current membership: 2. We should advertise!

  14. 719

    Just checked newest meteo data, we’re still at 14°C.
    I’m not exactly complaining, since I don’t like heat but something closer to 20°C would be nicer.

    rq and Nightjar,

    Your labs sound fascinating. The worst we’ve got is a men’s toilet with inadequate ventilation positioned way too close to our desks. Poor guys try to compensate by using ridiculous amounts of air freshener (seriously, they must go through one dispenser a week), which just results in another kind of stink.

  15. rq


    The worst we’ve got is a men’s toilet with inadequate ventilation positioned way too close to our desks.

    Okay, ew. There are limits to what I can handle!!! 😉

  16. 721


    compensate by using ridiculous amounts of air freshener

    Ew. That sounds headache-inducing.

    BTW, Beatrice, do you want to trade those 14ºC for the 35ºC over here right now? No? *sigh* I hate this.

  17. rq

    Beatrice and Nightjar
    I think I got the happy medium, sorry. :/ Currently enjoying it!!
    (Is that rubbing it in?)

  18. 724


    I don’t know, but I am feeling a bit guilty for complaining about being slightly cold. It’s preferable to what Nightjar has.

  19. 725

    I am so envious. Of both of you. Because, you know, I can actually function at those temperatures, while right now I just can’t get anything done.

  20. 726

    Jumping aboard the moving Thread.

    Strep sux.
    And, I thought a mouthful of canker sores was obligatory…but apparently, not. At least not initially.
    If I’d recognized it, I wouldn’t have waited so long to hit the clinic.

    Dalillama, I am so sorry.
    Sympathies for you and L, both.


  21. 727

    I’m so sorry. My deepest condolences. Having to put down a beloved pet is incredibly difficult.


    My FB ban ends in roughly 17 hours. I hate this, bc FB is one of my main outlets socially. I don’t have any meatspace friends here, so I enjoy being able to socialize via that platform.
    Funny thing is, I’ve had two friends send me messages asking if I’m still banned, and I can’t respond, bc FB won’t let me even send a PM…

  22. 728

    rq and cicely
    Get well soon!

    You have now witnessed the power of a fully armed and operational TERF. Facebook is a shit place of e-activism (or even talking, for that matter) since it’s entirely designed to fuck with people like you and support assholes like Cathy Brennan.

    Speaking of unpleasant work environments – at my work the air conditioning is drawn from the 1st floor where a paint factory is, so anytime we need to use the main air conditioning (and we do need to use it in this weather) it blasts us full of acetone fumes.

    That rabbi and people like him (remember, he’s not nearly the most radical one out here) are what I think of when someone mentions “Judeo-Christian values”.

    Turkey’s coup was broken. Back to their regular non-military despotism.

  23. 729

    Also a rant (I just need to unload):
    There is no such thing as “democratically elected”. Democracy is a form of government and election is a process, they are not adjectives. You can free, limited or sham elections and you can various types of democracies with various levels of direct representation.
    A modern democracy, in its most basic form, is based on the people’s ability to change their government peacefully (i.e. free elections), rule of law (how much the laws are followed and kept) and human rights (hopefully explanatory). Without the first the country is at best a benevolent dictatorship (but it will likely lose it’s adherence to human rights at the first sign of discontent), without the second it’s nothing more than anarchy (which is generally a tyranny of a multitude of minor warlords) and without the third it’s an ochlocracy or a tyranny of the majority.
    That last category is where Turkey is currently is and where most countries whose former or current leaders are primarily described as “democratically elected” are placed. Turkey’s army and its supporters place themselves in the category of a benevolent dictatorship, but that was never the case. They could argue that the the 1980 coup has saved Turkey and that the 1997 coup was bloodless and only helped Turkey, but the reality is that human rights have never been even a minor concern for military leaders.
    On the other hand, we can’t say whether the current Islamic government is much better at keeping human rights, considering it has been carrying out the army’s continuous war on the Kurds even more bloodily than some previous pro-army governments and that the violations of human rights have been the largest since 1997. We can only say that it’s not at 1980 level yet, but it’s definitely going there.

    My position is that it would have been better had there never been a coup, at least this early in Erdogan’s rise to absolute power, and that he would have been undone either politically or by a later, better supported coup, once he over-reached and antagonized more parts of the population. Or that once the coup was underway that it would succeed.
    Staging a coup and failing is by far the worst result, but on the bright side* it’s going to show just how bad life can be under a “democratically elected” leader and might give some way to evaluate future events.

    *The bright side isn’t all that bright.

  24. 731

    My local media has joined the conspiracy train! And in an article by a fairly respected journalist.

    Another claim. One I find more believable is that his safety services new about the coup in advance, but did nothing to stop it. That would explain the swift reaction, without going full conspiracy with speculation that Erdogan organized the whole thing.

    .. am I being stupid?

  25. rq

    Honestly, I’m about ready to believe anything at this point. Possibly all theories are correct. Everyone knew everything while nobody knew nothing and it is magic and psychic powers and good intelligence that saved the day. I don’t even know.

  26. 733


    Heh, you really have given up.
    I recommend lots of chocolate. And go to sleep. Or something. I don’t funcion any more. Been studying at least 12 hours today , same yesterday.

    I can’t wait for that exam tomorrow morning to pass, even if I fail it. Although that would be shitty because I’d disappoint boss AND have to retake it probably next week so that i don’t get a pay cut.

  27. rq

    Sounds like you could use some peace and quiet, too. 🙂
    I’m for bed, but tomorrow I get to go in to work and do some paperwork stuff about the ankle and basically I have no idea what to expect. So on top of tired and sans chocolate, I’m feeling a bit anxious. Because if I have to talk to anyone above my immediate superior, I’m afraid I will not be using polite words to their faces.

  28. rq

    Also, Beatrice, good luck with the exam tomorrow! I’ll be holding some thumbs for you. And I have a feeling that you’ll be great. Have some chocolate on me. 🙂 *hugs*

  29. 740

    Thanks for hugs and chocolate and support everyone.
    Off now to the test center.

    ( I tend to write centre, but then autocorrect underlines it and I feel chided, like I was trying to be all posh and British when I’m not. So I always change it to centre center)

  30. 741

    The house has been tested for partyability and passed muster. I’m completely exhausted.

    People, get your kids a trampoline, it’s worth any money.

    I’m afraid the laptop may be giving up the ghost. *sigh*
    I tend towards getting an old fashioned tower again now that I have an office.

    Hope your exam went well

    re: Turkey
    Erdogan definitely hit the Jackpot. No matter who’S behind this, in the future any opposition will simply be linked to the coup and hit hard.

  31. rq


    I tend to write centre

    So do I, because it’s Canadian, from the French, not “posh and British”. 😉 I usually tell autocorrect to go screw itself.


    The house has been tested for partyability and passed muster. I’m completely exhausted.

    This is a very important test for any house to pass, and I’m really glad yours does!! Yay for excellent house!

  32. 743

    Good morning everyone!

    Dalillama, I’m sorry for your loss! I wish there was something more profound or comforting I could say, but I don’t know what it is.

    Beatrice, hope the test went well! And write center or centre as you like, but try not to write both in one document, because that sort of thing will drive your readers nuts. (Ahem, I may have seen this done recently…)

    Gil, congratulations on the house’s partyworthy status. Trampolines are the best with small children.

    I’m getting ready to move back to the US in two weeks and between good things, bad things, and just large things I’m about to explode from excess feels.

  33. 746

    Yay! Congratulations Beatrice!! 😀


    Get well soon, cicely!


    Re: local media and giving up. Local media has not joined the conspiracy train regarding Turkey, but I guess that’s just because they are still too busy trying to decide if what happened in Nice was or was not a terrorist attack based on… the perpetrator’s drinking and shaving habits. It’s getting a bit ridiculous. And disgusting.

  34. 749

    Congrats Beatrice!

    I don’t see why he couldn’t have both been a sovereign citizen and a BLM supporter. White sovereign citizen terrorists usually don’t target the police – they target federal places like the IRS.

  35. rq

    So weird, how that works!


    I’m currently reading Under a Lucky Star, an autobiography of sorts by Roy Chapman Andrews, and… I wish it could just be exciting exploration and adventure. Instead, it is horribly sexist (seriously, you need the only woman in your class to leave the room before you can speak freely about pterodactyls???), racist (… just…) and toxically masculine (let’s kill all the things and stuff them!). I comfort myself that this is the 1920s. Written in the 1940s. But still, if it wasn’t on my reader I’d probably have tossed it across the room at least three times already. I should probably buy a paper copy and write notes in the margins in red ink.

  36. rq

    Pterodatyls and IT are basically the same thing. So probably they’re both too sexy and women just aren’t interested enough. QED. Checkmate, feminists.

    I suppose being a progressive liberal has just ruined the experience for me, because his adventures really are interesting and I can see how they’d be attractive and inspiring esp. at a young age, but his little comments about women and (so far) about Asian people and his general attitude towards the killing and trapping of animals (whales) stick out a lot. 🙁 To be honest, if I was reading this at 13, I probably wouldn’t notice, either.
    I did manage a good laugh at him, as at one point he mentions that no one is ever likely to find out how whales communicate amongst themselves.

  37. 760


    Now I’m wondering if you can simply polish those floorboards…

    Looks possible, but I only know what I’ve watched on PBS’ This Old House. 🙂

  38. 761

    Jim B
    I’m going to ask Mr’s uncle who’s a trained carpenter. I was quite surprised to find them under the shabby carpet, because the actual ceiling/floor is steel concrete.

    I think I’ll get along splendidly with the neighbour. She’s a 86 year old lady who already liked us for not being the people who lived there before. We always chat in the morning* and today she informed me that the fence between our gardens was ours and that we better make a door in it so the kids can easily retrieve their ball should it land on her side.

    *The second day we had the keys she said “I believe I talked more to you already than to my old neighbours in 50 years. That does me good”

  39. rq

    “I believe I talked more to you already than to my old neighbours in 50 years. That does me good”

    This is very nice – excellent neighbours are important.
    Just be careful it doesn’t turn into you doing her a lot of good by chatting all the time when you don’t have the time for it. Although I do have this little image in my head of her using the gate in the fence to sneak over to your house to surprise you at chores or any other inopportune moments. 😀

  40. 763

    She could use the front door or the driveway for that.
    I also don’t think she’s able to sneak up on me. Apart from that, she doesn’t have time to distract me, she’s always busy with her own garden (which is beautiful. I want to have that kind of garden when I grow up) and also she’s currently “babysitting” her 10 yo grandson and his dog for the holidays.

  41. rq

    You never know, she might be a stealthgrandmother. 😉
    Anyway, sounds like you’ve made good contact and the point was, I hope the relationship develops even more positively as you settle into your new home. 🙂

  42. 766

    All tiles and underground removed in that room. Good day!
    Tomorrow I’ll take it slow and just tear off the wallpaper.
    Also some everyday male-centrism: Mr bought some protective gear: goggles, dust mask, ear protection. But he bought cheap packs and apart from the ear protection they’re shitty. I decided that I deserve good things. A quality dust mask was easy to get, but the goggles with a rubber ring around so the dust won’t settle in your eyes were all one size that probably fits 90% of dudes and only 10% of women among which I do not feature. I guess I’ll keep wearing my swimming goggles…

  43. 767

    Wow, Giliell. With you doing what you do and a colleague describing how she’ll put on a fence and do some other building stuff, I’m inspired not to be a wuss and to try to stabilize a couple of shelves myself. Hmm. I’ll have to wait for the colleague to bring her power drill agter her vacation. This is going to be interesting.

  44. 769

    Talking abut Muslims… I met a friend (my age) who’s generally nice until she starts talking about any kind of minority. And I mean ANY… My grandma would be less scandalized about “the geys” if she were still alive.

    Anyway, as we were hanging out in the city centre in the evening, we saw a large number of women wearing hijabs. She immediately noticed, and at some point started a rant about “Why so many of them here. What are those people doing here? Now we’ll get bombed too. Did they really have to come here too? Do they have to really be everywhere.”

    I’m ashamed to admit that the rest of us just glanced at each other with embarrassment, after I answered the first couple of rhetorical questions with “Probably just a couple of tourist groups.” ,not an invasion, you idiot was silent.
    We don’t see each other very often, so I don’t like to argue, and she sounds so totally naive in her phobias that I don’t even know how to approach it. /excuses

  45. 772

    beatrice and rq
    Waiting for our kids to arrive (the train was late), I was chatting with a couple of other mum’s last Tuesday. After the attack on a German train (a 17 yo refugee fro Afghanistan attacked 4 people with an axe and was killed by the police), after Nice and everything, people are concerned. The muslim mum of one of #1’s friends was no less concerned than the rest*. Because bombs and trucks don’t care. Apart from the fact that Daesh would disapprove of her family just as much as of mine.

    *I’m probably the least concerned because, well, we live in the middle of nowhere and driving still kills a lot more people and I do that every day.

  46. rq


    we live in the middle of nowhere and driving still kills a lot more people and I do that every day

    You realize this could be read all the wrong ways. Should I warn your new neighbour…? 😉
    But anyway, that’s what I find most heartbreaking about the those people people – they can’t seem to understand that (in this case) muslims are just as scared, if not a lot more (what with refugees and immigrants probably coming over with a(n) (un)healthy dose of PTSD), of terrorist (or other) attacks. After all, they came to be safe, and it must be terrifying to realize that you aren’t as safe as you wanted to be.
    And yeah, the article I posted about the disproportionate number of muslims harmed in the Nice attack. I mean… it’s not like those people are happy about the situation, too. *sigh*

  47. 774

    Renovation update: I have a hole in the ceiling. I removed a thingy that holds curtains and for some reason I don’t understand they used to plaster the holders into the ceiling. Of course after 60 years the screws are all screwed and the plaster came down.
    The ceiling was one of the parts I didn’t want to do all anew, just paint it…

    I also planted some roses

  48. 775

    Actual title in actual papers. WTF

    NOVI DETALJI O VOZAČU KAMIONA SMRTI Nasilni biseksualni krvnik volio je seks, najviše s ljubavnikom od 73 godine, ali onda se u njegovoj glavi dogodio veliki preokret… NEW DETAILS ABOUT THE DRIVER OF THE DEATH TRUCK Violent bisexual butcher loved sex, especially with his 73-years-old lover*, but then there was a great shift in his head…

    *considering words in Croatian are gender, here it was specifically male lover

  49. 777

    Regarding my housing situation, I have set up a GoFundMe to help defray the costs of the move. We have a lead on a place that’s only a little more expensive that what we pay now, but we’re living on a total shoestring. Please share the link anywhere you think is appropriate.

  50. 780

    Hope you can get the roof sorted soon.


    I’ll have to wait for the colleague to bring her power drill agter her vacation. This is going to be interesting.

    Here, some people have set up tool libraries for exactly that purpose; people who occasionally need tools, but don’t want to have to buy or store them.

    In good news, I’ve landed a new gig that I can telecommute to, and hopefully get some decent additional income from. In bad news, I wiped out on my loaner bike last night, and have some wicked road rash.
    *hugs* for all.

  51. 781

    Giliell 774

    It’s not a hole in the ceiling, it’s the first step to installing your new skylight.


    We don’t see each other very often, so I don’t like to argue, and she sounds so totally naive in her phobias that I don’t even know how to approach it.

    I have lunch fairly often with a friend somewhat like this. No matter what the topic, they can’t talk for five minutes without turning it to Obama is destroying the country, or going to prison for not baking a cake, or something about bathrooms*. I just make noncommittal mumbling noises and sometimes marvel at the amazing stream of consciousness I’m hearing. I don’t think these people are interested in anything but noncommittal mumbling noises anyway.

    * I have an hypothesis about the fundamentalists obsession with bathrooms. I think that since their subculture frowns so much on scatalogical humor, they are starved for it and constantly bringing up bathrooms is their euphemism for it. Sorta like covering their feet.

  52. 783

    I’m hiding. Husband is wallowing in the RNC coverage. Right now it’s the wazzock himself, and I just can’t take it, so I’m back in the den, testing the range of the new modem*. Gaaaaaahhhh.

    Hugs to all and scritches for wmdkitty.

    *OK. Not that much better than the old one, but workable.

  53. 785

    wmdkitty 782

    I’m still alive! though it doesn’t look like any posts for about 21 hours, perhaps there’s some problem with the electrons.
    I went out today and had tons of fried fish, and fried potato wedges, and enough fat allowance for an entire week. yum. yum. I allow myself to do that about once a month. My friend felt good enough today to have a hamburger. It was a good day even though the temp was over a 100. There was bright sunshine and a slight breeze. Life is good.

  54. 786

    Sorry for whining so much, but this has not been a good month for me. I have used up all the first aid supplies we have, and we need more, and money is basically nonexistent and I think we may be coming to the end of my parent’s generosity. They want us to move ‘somewhere cheaper ‘, and I understand that it’s a burden for them, but we can’t leave town. This is the only job I have ever been able to keep more than a year, and I have no idea how long finding one would take elsewhere. Plus, the county we live in is the only one in the state that has housing protection laws for trans people.
    I don’t think that my family fully understands this type of issue, for all we’ve tried to explain it. Last thanksgiving, Mom told a ‘funny’ story about outing a trans woman in her dance group; this sort of behaviour is an issue.
    L is chronically angry these days, and I can’t blame him, he’s lost basically all of his support structure lately, and I know he’s not angry at me, but it’s still stressful and upsetting. And I feel so useless and unable to help.
    If the world would onky let me catch my breath for a minute,

  55. rq

    I’m sorry I don’t have better words for you, but feel free to vent here, if it helps even a teeny tiny bit.

  56. rq

    It’s not a good sign re: vaccination rates in this country if Friend tells me she’s in hospital with her daughter of (almost) 5 with pneumonia, and all I can think is “well, at least it’s not whooping cough”. Because a few years ago I wouldn’t even have thought of whooping cough as still being a Thing.

  57. Nat

    Hey, if anyone’s looking for a (virtual) tabletop group, I’m recruiting for a DnD 5E campaign on Roll20.net

    Game listing can be found here.

  58. 794

    Hey folks

    I’m going to send something via paypal directly as Go fund me is a PITA for me.

    Long-ish update:

    First, it’s a hole in the ceiling, not the roof. There’s a whole concrete floor between the two. It’s actually a hole in the plaster that is underneath the concrete.
    I swear, the previous owners were rather creative in some approaches.
    On Friday I thought I’d discovered mould underneath the wallpaper but it turned out to some other old wallpaper. Who puts brown wallpaper with irregular white spots on a wall?

    On Saturday we met the engineer to coordinate the renovations for a first check. Turns out it will be more expensive than we thought (isn’t it always?) but given the interest rates and the program for energy efficient renovations it still seems very doable
    Remember the Marshall Plan back from your history lessons? That money’s still here and being used.
    Another thing is that renovating with my FIL will become exhausting. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great guy who’s working like a house elf and I’m extremely grateful, but he also has a solid knowledge 30 years old. Everything newer than that is “modern bullshit some egghead invented”.
    Now, financing the whole thing via that government program has another big plus: They have some pretty strict rules. We can just tell him “well, you’re totally right but those eggheads with the money made the rules.

  59. 797

    Also, can I complain about men for a moment?
    There’s this guy in the apartment building who’s, you know, overly “friendly”. The kind of guy who thinks your casual politeness means you’re friends or something and he’s entitled to personal comments.
    On Friday I met him at the door when I came home from the house. I always wear a triangle of cheap cotton (Ikea Bomull) over my two braids when working there because I actually like my hair and I’d forgotten to take it off when I left. I was also tired, dirty and had sweated so much I could smell it on myself.
    And he commented that I was “just looking like a “little Dutch girl”.
    WTF? Why do guys think that that kind of stuff is OK and appropriate? What’s the message supposed to be? That no matter how many buckets full of rubbish I carry downstairs it’s still much more important that I vaguely resemble a woman from a cheese add?

  60. 800

    *diving into the pillow fort and curling up in a ball*
    Following the political scene is going to give me ulcers—if the anxiety doesn’t just straight-up kill me.
    And, I must stop arguing/discussing politicalreligion with my sister-in-law—who sees it as her Religious Duty to vote for Trump.
    ‘Cause God’s gonna work a miracle with him; she is sure of it!
    There are not enough palms to face.
    *curling up even tighter*
    Call me when it’s all over.

  61. rq

    I have similar feelings myself.
    Consider: Husband’s sister just had her first child today. I’m left wondering, whyever would you do that to anyone in this day and age? 🙁
    (I did send a nice congratulatory message; my negativity and exhaustion are my own business. No use in rubbing it off on everyone else.)

  62. 808


    Consider: Husband’s sister just had her first child today. I’m left wondering, whyever would you do that to anyone in this day and age? 🙁
    (I did send a nice congratulatory message; my negativity and exhaustion are my own business. No use in rubbing it off on everyone else.)

    You did better than my father did recently, when visiting a newborn and his very happy parents at the maternity hospital. The baby had to be delivered through a C-section because he was way past the due date and it was not safe to wait any longer. So my father decided to joke about how the baby knew the world he was going to come into and that’s why he didn’t want to come out naturally. He said it in a low voice, kind of biting his tongue through it, and I think no one paid much attention. But still… :-/


    I’ve been feeling kind of scared and overwhelmed lately, too. Also, exhausted and about to burn out. There are just too many things… I hope the three weeks off I will have in August help, but right now I’m wondering if I can make it to Friday.

  63. 812

    I think anyone not feeling a little bit panicky right now has not been paying attention. But hugs, cookies, and pillow forts to everyone anyway.

  64. 814

    I’ve been staring at this job ad for a position in Ottawa for the past 15 minutes. The two thoughts going through my mind are, “Fuck, I thought I was done with this shit for at least the next few years.” and “It’s time to start getting ready. You know what might be coming.” I can’t seem to decide to either apply or dismiss the idea.

  65. 816

    Bragimike: There is that. I went ahead and wrote a cover letter. I’ll see whether I think it’s a good idea to send it tomorrow.

  66. rq

    Apply, and then when I decide it’s time to move home, you can be my foot in the door. 😉 Qualifications be damned, I’m a good worker!

    Yeah, sometimes it’s hard to keep the negative comments in check. 🙁 Especially with the background feelings of exhaustion (emotional and physical), depression and anxiety.

    Welcome back! Nice of you to send the heat my way. 😛

  67. 820

    *smashes things*
    *crawls into the pillow fort*

    I finally got a reply from the ministry of education and my application was turned down.
    My application I sent in in February for a training position that would start on the first of August got turned down today.
    My application I sent in in February for a training position that would start on the first of August got turned down today because there are ZERO open places for future Spanish teachers.
    Which they told me today.
    After I applied for a position in February.
    After they asked for MORE DOCUMENTS two times.
    Yes, I’m frustrated.

  68. 822

    I’m so sorry. That’s a load of crap, what they’re doing.


    Go for it! If you already wrote the cover letter, send it.

  69. 825

    Giliell: I’m sorry you got turned down for the position, especially in that ridiculously unprofessional way! (Passes some chocolate into the pillow fort.)

    Yeah, I’m probably going to go for it. I’m not sure how salvagable the US is, even if Clinton gets elected. I read an article recently about a man* who got stopped by the cops and, for no discernible reason, was shot “execution style”. That’s the sort of thing I expect to hear of happening in a destabilized Central American country, not the US. And that’s under Obama, albeit probably related to the militarization of the police started under Bush. Maybe it’s always been this bad and I just never realized. I’m mildly upset that the best possible interpretation is that I’m an out of touch privileged dolt, but I’ll take that over the idea that it’s getting drastically worse over time.

    *Guess his race. Yeah, you’re right.

  70. 828

    What a bunch of assholes. I’m sorry you had to deal with that.

    Our application to our new apartment is in jeopardy due to claims by our previous landlord that we owe money still. (Some of you may recall the harassment that drove us out of that location; for those who are new since then, the downstairs neighbours threatened our lives, egged our door, and spread cat feces around our porch and in our mailbox. The management did nothing about any of this).

  71. 829

    I’ve been to an Eddie Izzard show so I know for a fact that a talented person can do wet-your-pants funny stand-up without resorting to rape jokes or LOL ugly women jokes.

    Too bad the two comedians I saw yesterday didn’t get the memo. Their other jokes were very good, but there were way too many bad ones.

  72. rq

    Yeah, it’s a cricket weekend. Sorry, I’m trying to initiate pre-packing organization plus someone has a birthday tomorrow.
    Also, *hugs* and *higs* for all!

  73. 834

    *hugs* to all.
    I’m not responding as much as I used to, but I do read everything you all write. I’m not writing back mostly because I don’t anything to add apart from cynical sarcasm and that’s usually not very helpful.
    I hope this week will be better, but I also hope that I could offer more than just hopes, but I can’t.

  74. 835

    Pretty much what AlexanderZ said. Life’s been kicking me in the teeth pretty regular this month, and it leaves me with not much to say or oomph to say it with. I’m mostly healed from my bike accident last week, although I’ve still got problems with a couple of my fingers and healing scars up and down my leg.


    albeit probably related to the militarization of the police started under Bush. Maybe it’s always been this bad and I just never realized. I’m mildly upset that the best possible interpretation is that I’m an out of touch privileged dolt, but I’ll take that over the idea that it’s getting drastically worse over time.

    It didn’t start under Bush, it started under Reagan. Both Bushes increased it though, as did Clinton (That’s Bill, of course, although IIRC Hillary’s voted for several such programs as a senator). Militarization aside, yes, it’s always been ‘this bad’ in the sense that the U.S. has always been a place where a cop can just roll up and shoot somebody for being the wrong color, and do. Also white people, if they’re homeless or mentally ill or sex workers or suchlike.

  75. 836

    Good morning
    I decided to write a mail to the “equality officer” to complain about my rejection. Seriously, now they treat me like it was the 1950’s, no need to make sure I can feed my kids cause I got a provider, but should said “provider” decide to leave us I’ll be treated like a lazy bug who’s to blame for not being able to earn her keep. Besides the fact that if Mr were abusive (something they cannot know), they’d keep me and the kids in his power and dependency.

    Hugs to all around.

  76. 837

    In good news, I convinced Mr to abandon the idea of a bathtub and install a no barriers shower. Because seriously, a bath isn’t something you redo every 10 years or so and we somehow keep growing older.

  77. 839

    Russia is still upset over their roided athletes not being able to compete. In yesterday’s prime time news slot they blamed the failed drug tests on… the banned substance list being updated every year!
    Yes, really.

  78. rq

    I’m pretty sure they’ll be upset for years to come. And hey, if they’re stuck in the past, why can’t everyone else be, too? It’s not like new potential banned substances are still being developed and discovered!!!


    Two days until I change timezones for three weeks. The closer the date, the more reluctant I feel about it – Friend’s wedding should be a wonderful affair, but a good number of guests will be high school people. And not necessarily the ones with whom I’ve been feeling a deep desire to renew contact. (It probably won’t be as bad as I’m imagining.)
    Then I’m planning some stuff across southern Ontario, which includes meeting a couple of commenters (one for the second time, another potentially for the first). Then I do the whole mouth-the-words baptism thing (but I got the proto-goddaughter a nice pagan-type necklace instead of a christian cross, and this is deemed culturally acceptable, so HA!). Then I come back just in time for the new school year! Yay!

  79. rq

    I’m going to gloat a little bit about money right now: since they started letting us work overtime (and paying us for it!) I’m actually going to break 10 000 euros in salary for this year. Level up!

  80. 842

    *hugs* and *higs* to all.

    Similar to others, I’m here, reading. Not much to say otherwise. Mainly just trying to get through the next 2 months, financially. MrsB works for the local school district so no paycheck for 2 months. I’ve planned for it, but still a bit worrisome.

    At least the weather is cooling off a bit here – in the 80s(F) mostly, rather than 90-100F last week.

  81. 843

    Grrrrr argh. We have a water line break. The good news is, it’s outside by the meter, so no property damage. The bad news is, because it’s outside, our homeowners insurance doesn’t cover it, and it’s apparently under the concrete lip of the driveway, so it’s going to cost big bucks, which we ain’t got. Also too, the plumber can’t come until Thursday morning, and we’re wasting water and racking up a bigger bill while it leaks. Gah.

    I’ll just put out a fresh lot of hugs and some tea and cookies, and go hide in the pillow fort.

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