Speakeasy #10

Welcome to the Speakeasy. I’m your host-the bartender with the mostest. Kick your feet up and relax with the gang. Have a drink (with or without alcohol). Hang out. Socialize. Vent. Share recipes or favorite books. Whatever you feel like doing. You’re not intruding on anyone, so feel free to drop a line. Just keep it civil and kind. Disagreements are fine, but I don’t want any fights (and of course bigotry of any sort is not welcome).

Speakeasy #10

702 thoughts on “Speakeasy #10

  1. 353

    Until I write it down (or say it and I won’t do that), it isn’t true so…. I think I might kind of a bit have feelings for someone. But it can only remain (work)-friendship , and I’m ok with that. Actually ok with that. I’m going to enjoy the company, and while sometimes something gets stuck in my throat while I’m laughing that’s ok because we’re good like this.

    And I am never ever admitting anything, short of my life depending on it.

    .. but it would be even better if I could find someone to, you know, love.

  2. 354

    Have a good trip.



    I have made the first new post on my blog! It’s about the need for more trains* in the U.S.

    If anyone is interested in joining an ongoing play-by chat GURPS Weird Western game, I am seeking an additional player. We meet on Mondays via Roll20 between 4pm (soon to be a bit earlier) and 9pm (usually) Pacific time, whatever that is locally to you.

    *If you’re reading this, Hi Og, and I’d love to hear your thoughts.

  3. 355

    rq, husband did WHAT????? That was evil, okay, thoughtless of him. Can you nip out and get yourself some of your favorite beverage?

    Giliell, safe and enjoyable travels!

    Beatrice, [hugs]

    Well, the HMO has managed to confuse things further – they refilled two of my three meds, at full retail price. The package came in the mail today. Just the BP meds, not the Prozac. At least my blood pressure will remain under control while Husband tries to sort out the mess. The weirdest thing in all this is, our dental coverage never changed.

  4. 356

    *hugs* or *non-contact gesture of support*, whichever you feel is appropriate.
    Sounds like you need a break, so allow me to *headdesk* for you for a bit.


  5. 357

    Husband called HMO membership. Membership says we’re back on the rolls. Yes, all three of us. I re-ordered my Prozac refill. Now I wait and see if membership person was correct.

    We still have to sort out the bills we got, and the overcharges for the refills they did process, but Husband will deal with that tomorrow, or more likely Monday. Because tomorrow is some sort of religious festival day*, I understand, and the office may not be open.

    Me, I’m going to try to get some sleep tonight. Nothing else I can do. Stupid brain, why do you keep insisting it’s All My Fault?

    *A prelude to the Festival of the Monotremes on Sunday, perhaps.

  6. rq

    Every country needs more trains. The system here has been completely gutted; it used to be quite extensive. Old railway tracks everywhere, like very straight eskers, now used for hiking. The old stations either used for storage or turned into apartments.
    And, of course, there’s no high-speed.
    More trains!

    As long as your (work)-friendship relationship satisfies you, then yay! Enjoy the crush feelings. As for the rest, well, I got *hugs*.

    It’s like a bad episode of a really bad sitcom. 🙁 Sounds like things are close to being sorted, I hope this is so, and that everyone can get their medical care without the extra headaches and anxiety!!! *hugs*


    Speaking of Easter, I heard this song at a christmas concert.

  7. 359

    Good, i hope this really gets sorted out.

    Thanks for the *hugs*, I’m currently pretty well so I’ll save them for a rainy day 🙂

  8. 360

    Comment seen on a Game of Thrones season 6 predictions video on YouTube:

    Another beautiful girl with a beautiful accent that’s into Game of Thrones and other nerdy stuff. How are you all just all coming out of the woodworks now?

    Most oblivious person ever.

  9. YOB

    ——— rq

    So Husband left for the country, and took all the beers with him. *grumpgrumpgrump*



    ——— Dalillama @343
    Spoilers!!!! :O


    BTW, I can attest that Dali’s campaign is awesome. Due to the situation at home, I’m basically having to drop out (hoping to come back eventually, though) but the group is a really good one. Very role-play story centric vs smashy-smashy get loot. I’ve played a lot of campaigns over the years and I think Dali is a very gifted GM.

    ——— bluentx
    Sometimes, it really sucks living in Texas. I’m sorry our state is so messed up. I hope things start working out better for you. Also, thanks for the offer of help way way back. You’re down around Austin, right?


    *higs* and *hugs* to everybody!

  10. 362


    I’m more than likely screwed. And blackballed from ‘the industry’.

    I’m sorry, I don’t even have any words of encouragement. I’m sorry. 🙁


    I feel I should issue a general sort of apology.

    Nonsense. Considering that your working environment can be legally classified as a troll’s lair, you should whatever you can whenever you can.
    If there is one thing that I’ve learned from the army is that wicked lying systems can and should be fought using their methods. It’s morally justified and it’s the surest way to success: Battle fire with fire, combat darkness with night. Heed my words and you’ll win every fight.

    Best wishes and swift recovery for you family!

    I guess I’ve just had very bad P&P experience that soured me to most of it.
    I probably should be looking for a group (thanks for the hint YOB 😉 ), but I know I won’t be able to maintain a schedule, so it won’t happen.
    That’s why I’m only looking for an Ars Magica group – it can be played by post (I’m a slow typer\reader) and it’s very flexible in that it allows for lots of continued gameplay even when some of the players don’t show up.

    I don’t think your blog uses the i tag.

    Have a great time!

    It’s great that you’re happy!!

    So, um, the medical mess is getting sorted out? Sort of?

  11. 365

    I was wondering the same thing; although come to think of it, several people mentioned going away this weekend I think.

    I don’t think your blog uses the i tag.

    Huh. Maybe it wants the em tag instead; maybe it’s a setting. I’ll try to investigate, once I figure out why I keep seeing Feminace’s dashboard instead of mine (no fucking clue what that’s about, and the wordpress help forums dont).

    I guess I’ve just had very bad P&P experience that soured me to most of it.

    Totally understandable, and unsurprising; there’s a lot of assholes in the tabletop world (several of whom run major game companies) and they tend to get cut a lot of slack ( there’s a reason the Geek Social Fallacies are called that), which often ends up ruining everyone else’s fun. A line I’ve heard more times than I can count runs basically “John is a great guy, and we’re all great friends, but whenever we game he makes this evil munchkin character and starts killing everything in sight, including other PCs. What do I do?” and never accepting that the answer is “Don’t game with John anymore.”
    The story factor is a big one too; with CRPGs, you are at least guaranteed a floor on the quality of it, while GM skill levels are all over the map. (And I’m not blaming them; GMing well is actually pretty hard to do.)

    I probably should be looking for a group (thanks for the hint YOB 😉 ), but I know I won’t be able to maintain a schedule, so it won’t happen.

    Play by post is viable for a number of types of game, particularly ones with little combat. They move kinda slow, but I remember the days when people literally played by post, and spent a ton of money on stamps too.


    Every country needs more trains. The system here has been completely gutted; it used to be quite extensive.

    AlexanderZ and I are discussing the Soviet network and post-Soviet mothballing/destruction of same.

    Old railway tracks everywhere, like very straight eskers, now used for hiking.

    Yup, there’s a bunch of railbeds around here that’ve been repurposed as bike trails.

  12. 366

    I’m away for the weekend too, but also online some/msot of the time. Hopefully more to chat with you folks than to work (that’s what happens when you schedule a trip and then get a shitload of work on wednesday afternoon with next-week as deadline)

    Took a nice train ride today. My station is the first station so it’s always on time, and the land we travel through is pretty, especially at this time of year.

  13. 367

    Upstaged by Zombie Lich Jesus are we? Not if I can help it 🙂


    I keep seeing Feminace’s dashboard instead of mine

    Now that is weird!

    Play by post is viable for a number of types of game, particularly ones with little combat.

    Do you have any suggestions?
    I’m very much interested in low-combat (including even dice-less) games, but I just don’t that many.

    Bummer you have to work on the weekend, but yay! for nice train ride!

    As you know I watch Russian news out of pure masochism, and you may know that Purim recently ended. This is how it was reported on Russia’s 2nd channel two days ago:
    “Purim is being celebrated by Jews around the world. The celebrations generally consist of dressing up in costumes and drinking alcohol. Traditionally only sweet red wine is drunk, but any alcoholic beverage is acceptable because of it’s purifying qualities.”
    After which followed a thoughtful discussion on the purifying qualities of various alcoholic beverages. Needless to say, the last line of the quote is utterly factually wrong, but at least the news anchor knows his audience.

  14. 372


    If I want a linear story that inevitably proceeds in a certain way, I’ve got books and movies and such for that; if I’m supposed to be participating in the story, I want to a)have choices that b) mean something.

    *nodding vigorously in agreement*
    The two deadliest words in tabletop RPGing:

    Anne, I would love to audition for the part of Bionic Cicely.
    Steal the Fashion Accessories for the role, mmm-hmmm, oh yes indeed I would!

    Because tomorrow is some sort of religious festival day*

    *A prelude to the Festival of the Monotremes on Sunday, perhaps.

    It is the Celebration of the Filing Off of the Serial Numbers from the Rituals of Pagan Fertility Celebrations.
    Very holy holyday!

    giliell: Safe journies, and safe returning!

    *hugs* for Beatrice.

    I still maintain that Jesus is neither zombie nor vampire, but is instead some kind of one-off, customized lich.
    And I see that AlexanderZ has supplied the documentation!

  15. 375

    Husband went looking for something else after MSNBC ran out of politics and sent us to prison (their weekend programming is usually all true crime shows). So we’re watching Frozen, with commercials. Many, many commercials.

    For a Disney movie, it’s actually pretty subversive, especially “Let It Go”. Also, fractals! In a song! As a rule, I dislike anything Disney (when I was a kid, they ruined Mary Poppins), but this isn’t half bad, if you ignore the creepy anime eyes on the princesses. I can understand why little girls are so in love with it.

  16. rq

    Out in the country. Going to see things in places where there’s nothing to see. In that vein, we spent two hours wandering around the old late-18th-early-19th citadel down in Daugavpils, looking for something nice to look at.
    (Context: my mum and two of my brothers are also here, so instead of sitting around and doing nothing we made a day-trip but while discussing it, at least three different members of Husband’s family asked us why we want to go because ‘there’s nothing to see’. For the record, it was absolutely lovely.)
    Also I had an unexpected migraine yesterday morning, so we missed out on seeing the bends in the river, which have a new sightseeing tower up, because I spent so much time moaning in bed while everyone else took a walk around the area.
    Today, after recovering all the eggs hidden within the territory (I don’t think anyone has mentioned Jesus once), we’ll go and see the local manor that’s being fixed up by the local guy by hand, and piece by piece.
    As you can see, there is nothing to see around here.

  17. 379

    Barcelona: man, they just kicked my ass in the Champions League two years from now. Did/will not enjoy my trip there for this reason. 4-1. Will Messi ever slow down?

    /greek to most of you

  18. 380

    More like Russian – I think I understand some words, because os similar Slavic roots, but they actually mean something completely different.

    *waves* back to Barcelona.
    Have fun!

  19. 381

    When we came here the first time, mr looked at all the kids going around in their Barcelona shirts and remarked that there were many Messis.
    I looked around our place and replied that we didn’t need to advertise that, it was obvious

  20. 382

    I’m currently playing in a PbP In Nomine game, but I’m actually not that terribly familiar with the newer games on the market these days. FATE sounds like it would be a pretty good fit for play by post, but I’ve never used it. There’s also a considerable number of GURPS pbps on a forum I frequent; the one I was in worked well until the GM quit.

    The two deadliest words in tabletop RPGing:

    Amusingly, almost all of the PCs in my current game arrived in town following railroad tracks. One was even on a train.

  21. 388

    *causes ruckus*

    *strews biodegradable confetti about*

    *glitterbombs Tony*

    *glitterbombs croc pool*

    *looks tired, goes to lie down*

    When you get old, rabble-rousing is really exhausting.

  22. 395

    Hi Everyone,
    I have been lurking around mostly. I am feeling battered and bruised lately. I have had a lot of “coming out experiences” and not the good kind. I have had my first , second, and yes, even third, check yourself moment. It took me a bit to figure out why I was being stared at, but going to the restroom made it painfully clear. Having someone stare at my crotch and then make quick glances up to face, down to tits and again back at the crotch level and then feeling the urge to make the person comfortable somehow and then the anger. The anger! On top of that I think my relationship with the last friend is ending. I need queer folk in my life. I want a community where I have some understanding so I have been thinking of going to the UU church because they seem very LGBTIA friendly or at least that is what they advertise. IDK.

    Saw my ex in the grocery store. The asshole I still love. He got in line right behind the person behind me. I wanted to look up. I wanted to see his face. I wanted to see the face that likes me when I bend my assigned gender in the direction of my truth. I wanted to dive into that sweet lie to escape this ever shrinking world I now find myself in. I wanted to come out to him because I knew he would support it. I didn’t but ….

    I was in a local market with my friend and an old acquaintance was behind me. She asked me to wait and so we did. Within the first few minutes she asked me if I was dating women now? She had heard the rumor from her ex. I stammered as my friend winced and I somehow managed to say I might and I laughed it off! Rude, but threw me completely off guard. I gave her my number. I hope she calls me . I have now had enough time to form some choice words for her.

    I really thought knowing my orientations would be freeing, but instead I have to go home at night and process the shit that I laugh off during the day. I can’t seem to brush it off anymore and just get in line.

    My consolation is reading queer and queer friendly people here and at FTBs. I know there is a community for me and I have to go out and find it. Go out….

    Good wishes to all and happy spring. I hope to lose myself in planting and watching bird fights this week. The inflight hawk fights have been spectacular.
    No spiral free falls yet but I am amazed at the mobbing tactics.

  23. 396

    Hi all. I’m typically not on-line during the weekends. I spend my whole work day at a computer/online so unless there’s something I need to do, I’m usually doing off-line stuff on the weekends.

    Finally got around to pulling the front bumper off the SUV and replaced the broken plastic bits from a errant piece of truck tire months ago. And did the first lawn mowing of the season.

    And now work is looking to be really busy the next few days. May not have much time to write, but will be reading and trying to keep up.
    Well, I’m half-Greek, so I understood most of that. 🙂
    *waves* Enjoy Barcelona!
    Sorry you’re having a tough time. *hugs* offered.

  24. rq

    Today was the Annual Rose Raze (basically, I’m in the garden going ‘ARR’ the whole time, too, all 50 rose bushes). Now I wait, nerves on edge, to see if they’re still alive at the end of April. Also, garden shears are exhausting. I don’t know how I’m going to get through tomorrow’s pipetting.

    re: Barcelona
    I get to go there in early May! For work, of course. But still. Never been further south than Germany, so I’m looking forward to it.

  25. 398

    All the *hugs*
    I can’t even begin to understand what you’re going through, but I wish you all the best. Your personal and emotional safety are the most important things, and if you think you can find sympathetic people at the UU church, then by all means do.
    Please don’t be discouraged by the assholes in your life.

  26. 400

    Thanks JimB , Anne and Alexander. I think the UU might be good because I am surrounded by believers anyway and at least I am free to be a queer atheist. I can’t imagine what they do at the UU. Has anyone ever been a member or have experience with the UU?

    I had hail a few minutes ago.

  27. 402

    *hugs* IIRC most UU meetings are just that; people milling around and socialising. There’s often a sermon-like speech but it tends to be pretty short. I only went once or twice and it’s been a while though.

  28. 404

    *hugs* for cal, with a side-order of sympathy and encouragement.
    Trying the UU sounds like a good idea.

    Either that, or the door disdains my Firefox; earlier, I couldn’t post comments. (Using Chrome, right now. Seems to be working.)

  29. 406

    Re: commenting problem’s

    Over at Lousy Canuk Jason explains the issues with commenting. It’s not affecting every commenter, just some, but it’s affecting different blogs (and not just here at The Orbit). Sorry for the difficulties folks.

  30. 408

    Well, that comment that I wasn’t able to post in the morning was full of complaints about work anyway. Trash.

    *hug* for Cal were the only thing of note in there so… more *hugs* for Cal

  31. 409

    While looking for an In Nomine game I’ve found Storium – a system specifically designed for PbP diceless games. I’m currently trying it out, I’ll tell you my impressions when the game starts.

  32. 410

    I’m tired, I’m not interesting in working, and I’m damn sure not interested in the long drive home.

    But other than that, everything is just fine.

    I think I’ll take a snooze in the pillow fort.

  33. 414

    Looks like our HMO problem has been fixed, after two months. Husband is trying to get refunds for the prescription refill overcharges, but since he doesn’t seem to quite understand the problem himself, I am not sure he’ll manage.

    Major source of stress: I know exactly what’s wrong, but I have to trust someone else to fix it who doesn’t understand and/or care. Sigh.

    However, I do have all my refills, finally, so yay.

    I have scheduled myself a mental health day today. Well, except for talking to Aged Mum this afternoon, because it’s Wednesday, and dealing with whatever else comes up, like bills and family crises. Still, mental health day, and I’m going to read books and sort stuff in my little room, and try to destress at least a little.

    Hugs and hot tea are available. Help yourselves.

    PS I am being told that I am an imposter and not allowed to post. I think I’m a real me, but who knows?

    PPS It doesn’t like the Chrome data saver. I turned that off. I’m still an Imposter. I’m going to try again. Will I be the real me? Will The Orbit accept me? Wait for the next exciting installment!

    PPPS Still an Imposter. Sign in Or Else. The plot thickens.

  34. 417

    Tony, Thank you for the update. I spent the day trying off and on to bring up The Orbit and it was an error message all day. ,br>

    Thanks for all the well wishes from everyone. I am feeling better and was reading up on the UU “about” page. There is an awful lot of talk of spirit/spirituality. I am trying to understand why that bothers me. It was a big problem in finding a therapist and I have yet to find one who truly respects my non-belief.

    I won’t know, if I don’t try.

    I feel my spoons and it feels like a full drawer so I offer hugs and higs to my fellow barflies, pillow forters and croc watchers. Off to work now for me.

  35. 418

    Oh wow, I totally forgot about Storium.

    If you’ve ever signed in before, it won’t let you comment without being signed in.


    I am trying to understand why that bothers me.

    Because there’s a whole lot of baggage attached to the term that you don’t want to have to deal with? That’s why it bothers me, anyway.

  36. 422

    It’s great that the HMO saga is coming to a close!

    I am being told that I am an imposter and not allowed to post. I think I’m a real me, but who knows?

    rq is thinking in the right direction: Do you ever dream of unicorns? Suppose you’re in a desert. You see a tortoise crawling up to you. You flip it on its back. The tortoise is backing in the sun, but you’re not helping. Why aren’t you helping?

    I hate this time of the year. I mean, I like the weather, the flora and the fauna, but the constant shift in the weather are killing me. I have constant pains and just rising out of bed to go to work is a struggle. Add to it the general sleepiness from the extra painkillers and the fact that I can’t ever seem to get enough sleep, and you get one miserable dude.
    On the plus side, it seems that I’m actually liked at work – my boss came up to me to talk about the bonus I’ll be getting and I get to deal with harder cases, but I also have less time pressure to do it, so I’m happy about that.

  37. 424

    So, I was banned from a FB intersectional feminist group for pushing back against the statement that “White people have no business adopting children of color.”

    But, you know, I was “making it all about White fragility” when I took offense at a statement that blatantly says your transracial family shouldn’t exist.

  38. 427

    Wow. I seem to have been unsubscribed somehow several days ago. The last post I got in email was somewhere around 390. I am ‘rupt.

    I do have hugs for those as are needing them. High fives or handshakes if those are more appropriate. I don’t really do fist bumps, except with the explosive or fireworks type.

    And I’d like to ask Tony if he ever worked at a place that made their own bitters.

  39. 429

    Hey Tony!
    warning: bullet point whinging ahead
    Do you have any control over the formatting of your blog?
    – alternating background colours for comments would be nice
    – I really hate that I Ching thingy in the upper left, is a permanent side-bar possible?

  40. 431

    I’m back from a long and busy weekend. Visited (to take a reference from Anne) aged Mum, had an Easter lunch with my in-laws and sorted out a holiday. Busy, busy busy!

  41. 433

    Anne: Hurray for HMO reinstatement, and may refunds feature heavily in your immediate future.

    cal, I think there’s considerable variability between UU churches—and even within UU churches. Might still be worth a look.
    Also, you might check out your area for local Freethinkers groups—if not in meatspace, then maybe check for a local Facebook Group. I know that the one I interact with is very supportive of gender-related issues.

    Hurray for bonuses, AlexanderZ!


    So, I was banned from a FB intersectional feminist group for pushing back against the statement that “White people have no business adopting children of color.”

    How is this not like “Gay people have no business adopting (presumably-straight) children”?
    (With a note that taking Native American children away from their kinfolk—who are quite willing to raise them—in order to acculturate the “Indian” out of them is not the same thing, and is an on-going problem.)

  42. 438


    Can I just apologize in advance for that time I’m going to be convinced that I remembered this nick correctly because it contains actual words so I should remember it, only to then mangle it and switch c’s and s’s or t’s? 🙂

  43. 439

    Tony I thought that but I was surprised to see that name because I didn’t change it. Swear! 🙂 okay I could have done it because I was interested in the post Jason put up about the font for dyslexia and was trying to see if I could get that to work for me. I didn’t know I changed my display name but easy enough to fix.

  44. 440

    Forget it then, but it was a nice name.

    wordpress did do some strange thing with accounts- it erased my chosen name and started displaying my username even though I wasn’t even in the profile section recently to change anything.

  45. 441

    So, since this is actually a significant life development of late, and I realize I’ve not really brought it up here, I am these days mostly using neutral or female pronouns, and have altered my meatspace presentation significantly. So, there’s that.

  46. 442

    It was a reference to a movie.
    But turtles are awesome. We sometimes get wild tortoises around here and I can tell you that they’re much faster than what people usually think.


    So, I was banned from a FB intersectional feminist group for pushing back against the statement that “White people have no business adopting children of color.”

    I see that group has the coveted Koncerned Karetakers of the Klan stamp of approval. Now that’s true intersectionallity.

    It’s not that much – it’s less than my monthly bus pass, but it’s nice to be appreciated.


    it erased my chosen name and started displaying my username

    Your username is also Beatrice?!

    What’s an “I Ching”?

  47. 445

    Also, I had a bunch of dental work done and can only have jello. I love Jello. So why didn’t I buy any to make before hand?

    Alexander , Congrats on the being liked on your job and getting a bonus!

    cicely, That is what I have been told by others and I am going to give it a try when my dental work is finished and I have a few more projects completed.

    Dalillama, I agree, spirituality is a very loaded term. I know it is a word with a lot of baggage but I dropped that shit off at the last station and have been moving away from it at top speed for many years now. I was hoping for something more neutral but I have to start somewhere.
    Also, I finally have the computer back to factory settings and so how shall I get your address for shipping? I hope to ship by late next week.

    I may have mentioned I have had my job changed from a job with protections to a hardship stipend by the IRS and may have to give back my “poor people who work bonus”(EIC), and may have lost union protections and or standing and the new dental/vision insurance etc… I wonder if I can tape a quarter to an index card and send it to IRS for my monthly re-payment amount:) The woman who initiated the lawsuit that changed our designation has been heavily criticized by several accountants who work with people who have disabled children. I can’t see how any lawyer wouldn’t explain to this woman what she was doing was harming her own bottom line, but there it is!

  48. 446

    I’m not sure about the formatting. I’ll ask our tech guy. It may be something I can set for myself.
    As for the ‘I Ching’ thing you’re speaking of, I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about.

  49. 448


    What’s an “I Ching”?

    A form of divination originating in 11th century China in which one randomly generates a set of three or six parallel lines, each of which may be whole or broken, and consults authoritative texts for the implications of each configuration. Chigau is referring to the sidebar menu denoted by three unbroken parallel lines.

    I think I may have misgendered you in the past,

    Since I only just now mentioned it, you had no way of knowing.

  50. 450

    It’s Cal
    You can email me at blaine(nospace)delancey at google’s mail. I appreciate the effort to restore it to factory default, but you needn’t have gone to the trouble; we’re going to reformat with linux as soon as we get it 🙂

  51. 451

    Thank you, Beatrice and Cal.


    I can’t see how any lawyer wouldn’t explain to this woman what she was doing was harming her own bottom line

    It could have been a false flag operation. Otherwise I can’t see how she got the money for such a lawsuit.
    Also, *hugs*

    Thanks, Dalillama
    When searched the term I got lots of “get your readings here FREE” results and dismissed it out of hand.

    But on the topic of the sidebar button – I like it. It hard enough to load this thread on a phone without the sidebar getting in the way.

  52. 452


    How is this not like “Gay people have no business adopting (presumably-straight) children”?

    It’s exactly like that, with the additional subtext of “your multiracial family shouldn’t exist.”

    (With a note that taking Native American children away from their kinfolk—who are quite willing to raise them—in order to acculturate the “Indian” out of them is not the same thing, and is an on-going problem.)

    I agree that “acculturating the Indian out of” Native kids is a bad thing, and white folks have been just awful about it. But now I’m wondering, do those relatives have to go through all the hoop-jumping that normal adoptive parents do? If not, that’s a double-standard, and we all know how I feel about those!

    Kids should go to the people who can best provide for them, regardless of race.

  53. 454

    It’s quiet in here. Too quiet, I think.

    *starts watching for zombies*

    Dalillama, dear, I think your pronoun switch sounds very affirming, I hope it proves to be that way. Will there be a new name to come as well? I’m all excited for you.

    Cal, same words, different subject. Congratulations and good luck. If there’s anything I can do to help either of you, just say so.

  54. 455

    …Sees CatieCat’s comment…..leaves and comes back two minutes later with bass guitar and the largest amplifier he can find. Plays ‘Seven Nation Army’ riff as loud as possible. It’s not quiet now!

    Stops as soon as everyone glares and takes his gear away sheepishly. Sorry, that was childish!

  55. 457

    Drug policy in the U.S. and its subsidiary units drives me up a wall. Even though I now have health insurance and can go see a doctor, I still can’t get fucking Sudafed, apparently because the clinic I go to serves a lot of people who use illegal drugs, and <insert prohibitionist bullshit here >. So that’s why I woke up several hours early unable to breathe, and the stuff they gave me isn’t helping enough for me to get back to sleep.


    Oh, that is good to know and I hope you are being received well in meatspace.

    I haven’t really discussed it at work, although I’ll have to at some point. So far it has only occasioned minimal comment, but my work wardrobe is somewhat constrained by practicality, so it’s not been as obvious there. Otherwise very positive.

    I also hope you are having some fun with it.

    Indeed. L has made me some lovely skirts (with pockets in!) suitable for biking.
    Thank you, it has so far. Also doing wonders for my depression, which is nice.

    Will there be a new name to come as well?

    Not around here, no

  56. 460


    So, since this is actually a significant life development of late, and I realize I’ve not really brought it up here, I am these days mostly using neutral or female pronouns, and have altered my meatspace presentation significantly. So, there’s that.

    I will do my damnedest to remember, and comment accordingly.
    On-rushing senility permitting.


    It’s not that much – it’s less than my monthly bus pass, but it’s nice to be appreciated.

    Better than a smack up-side the head with a dead fish, certainly!


    Kids should go to the people who can best provide for them, regardless of race.

    Problem: Taken to its logical conclusion, this leads directly to Kash For Kids. Additionally in the case of N.A. children—and specifically because of the history (as well as an on-going problem) of taking kids from their families on any (or no!) pretext, for coercive adoption into (usually white) families, there’s the Indian Child Welfare Act to be considered.

  57. rq

    I’ve so not been paying attention.

    *hugs* for Cal

    *hugs* and … well, excitement! for Dalillama
    Just for clarification, when you say ‘neutral’, do you mean pronouns like ‘they’ and ‘their’ or ‘xe’ and ‘xir’? Although I’m pretty sure I’ll mostly be addressing you as ‘you’, I don’t want to mess up elsewhere!
    And good luck with everything. ‘Tickled’ is as good a way as any to describe how I feel (thanks to Cait for the inspiration). 😀 (Also applies to my feelings for Cal. I hope you don’t mind me borrowing the description, Cait. You just happen to say it best. 🙂 )

    *hugs* for AlexanderZ and def. good news about being appreciated at work. Personally I find it amazing how even little gestures of appreciation can instill a feeling of loyalty disproportionate to the gesture itself. Sometimes it makes me feel manipulated, but hey, if they appreciate you, enjoy it (I try to tell myself)!

    *hugs* for bragimike – actually, the loud music was just what I needed. … [whisper]I can sneak you back on stage if you like, there’s a plug for your amp right beside my chair.[/whisper]


    Moi, I spent three days under the spell of something Nasty that made my head float around and my lungs try to escape my body*. It was weird. Then I was going to drive to work this evening, but seeing as how I broke a glass this morning, and then proceeded to (accidentally) slice a finger open with a paring knife, I decided to avoid any further messages from the ether and took the train instead (moi, superstitious? – perhaps, in a habitual kind of way, it’s more realizing that I’m not in a headspace to concentrate on the bigger things, if my co-ordination on the little things can’t even get it together). Head’s still a bit floaty, but I just have to click the right buttons and read off the right numbers and nothing bad can happen. It’s not like I do anything important. 😛
    Also I did some painting today after… well, I won’t say how many years. Long time. And I only did it because Youngest was at home with the same Nasty and we had to do something! Anyway, I’m rather proud of my meagre efforts and might feel brave enough to post the two masterpieces on here. Sometime later. 🙂

    * The recurrence of various respiratory- and pulmonary-related issues makes me think that I should probably put in the extra effort and quit smoking once and for all, but I can’t seem to find the motivation. I don’t know if I care enough anymore, plus there’s the fact that I worry about what the self-destructive aspect of me will decide on as replacement activity. In the meantime, Husband and I are a veritable pair of sneakers, constantly sneaking around to hidden corners of the yard as if we were fifteen again. Anyway. [/asterisk asterix]

    *hugs* and *higs* to those as needs ’em, I gotta get back to these results, and then make sure I get on the right train home. Whee!

  58. 462

    Between you and what Caine has been going through, I can’t help but feel the US medical system was set up by a Mengelesque sadist for the sole purpose of abusing the people most in need of support.

  59. 463


    Seven Nation Army

    I haven’t heard it before and now I’m addicted!

    Stay safe and remember – 90% of all accidents happen at home!

    The recurrence of various respiratory- and pulmonary-related issues makes me think that I should probably put in the extra effort and quit smoking once and for all

    It could also be because you work in a fungal hell hole.

    I worry about what the self-destructive aspect of me will decide on as replacement activity

    Most people I know took up gum chewing. Two people I know (including my mother) quit after 25 years of smoking with absolutely no problem or residual cravings and the only consequence so far has been a lasting hatred for 2nd hand smoke.
    In any case, smoking is self-destructive enough as it is.

    I want to believe.

  60. 464

    *Hugs*, hope you feel better soon.

    Just for clarification, when you say ‘neutral’, do you mean pronouns like ‘they’ and ‘their’ or ‘xe’ and ‘xir’?

    Either’s fine, or she/her.

    Personally I find it amazing how even little gestures of appreciation can instill a feeling of loyalty disproportionate to the gesture itself. Sometimes it makes me feel manipulated, but hey,

    You’re not wrong; those little gestures are what they do instead of giving you a raise or improving your lot in any measurable way, because some asshole MBA figured out that you could squeeze a little extra effort out of the peons that way.

    A succession of Mengelesque sadists, actually, but otherwise you’re not wrong.

  61. 465

    Hi Everyone, bragimike That was funny, no glares from me. Now I have to go find the song and give a listen. CaitieCat That was a really sweet thing to say and I appreciate it very much. I am finding the hardest part is really other people. I feel fine and happy and not the least self conscious until I notice the stares and stuff.I have already worked through how to handle that in the future.

  62. 466

    hmmm I didn’t realize I hit post. What I was going to say is I have been practicing my ‘Aren’t You Precious’ look. I am hoping some good discussions about Trans issues will happen with the new writers at both spaces. I mostly want to know how to describe myself with the correct terms to avoid confusion and/or offense in regards to dating and socializing and initiating or declining etc.

    I am happy you feel tickled rq, I have always felt very supported here at the Speakeasy, especially by the regulars.

  63. 467

    Alexander, Mengelesque sadist…. I concur. I have only recently (after 4 years off insurance) found a decent PA. Now I get to find out if I get to keep her. Also, the false flag thing has got me wondering way too much. I stand to lose so much of my future income if this is going where I think it is. My union is mum on it.

    Had a weird class thing happen at the dentist and I think I handled it okay? I was talking about wanting to get my work done in a hurry because I didn’t know how long I would be able to keep the insurance and mentioned my EIC being a part of my gross income that I used for medical and dental co-pays and the receptionist said,”well, at least you’re not getting a new couch with it.” I raised my eyebrow at her and said, ” Oh, I am. Contrary to popular belief, poor people use furniture and it wears out.” I was popping off and I know it but fuck it if can’t have anything nice.

    Shout out to bluentx, just because I have been thinking about you and hope you are ok. Hugs and higs for you and all the other wonderful speakeasyins who want them.

  64. 469


    A) PRETTY! who cares about making things actually useful
    B) so that you’d need to buy new cookware sooner

    .. or was that a rhetorical question?

  65. 471

    It was a plastic handle on a deep fryer; it began to melt because it was next to a hot burner. I got the damn thing off before it got too bad.

  66. 472


    Sounds like Saturday.

    Nah, that’s just the crickets.


    Why do people put non heat resistant plastic bits on cookware? Why?

    Non heat resistant plastic is usually much more pleasant to the touch.

    because some asshole MBA figured out that you could squeeze a little extra effort out of the peons that way.

    Well, they’re not gonna squeeze any effort out of me!
    Actually, I’ve been told several times recently that me not doing any sales at all is a big no-no. To which I reply that had I wanted to go into sales I would have gone into sales. As it is, I have enough work processing VIP clients, doing the Russian speakers (hardest clients of all) and getting the tough assignments from various managers (in our entire center only me and another guy can speak Russian and perform all the necessary functions of every department, and I’m more efficient than the second guy).
    The counter response is that I’m already being compensated for that with a less restrictive schedule and almost no time pressure.
    So we’re at an impasse.


    It’s spring and that means that the stupid doves are trying to nest on the windows/clothes line again. And my cat does nothing. Gah.

  67. 477


    Non heat resistant plastic is usually much more pleasant to the touch.

    I consider not melting to be a higher priority, personally, but maybe that’s just me.

    Actually, I’ve been told several times recently that me not doing any sales at all is a big no-no. To which I reply that had I wanted to go into sales I would have gone into sales.

    That happened to me a couple jobs ago. I signed up as tech support, then they put the top performers in the training class into the sales queue. I was offered the choice of that or quitting. I should have. It would have saved me a bleeding ulcer, ongoing anxiety problems, and an abortive suicide attempt over the next year, after which they fired me anyway for not meeting sales quotas. I told them from the beginning than I am not a salesperson, and nothing will make me one, but sales management never believe that. They always, always, insist that anyone can learn sales. Shitheads.
    Sorry you had to deal with that shit at the dentist.

    I am finding the hardest part is really other people.

    I’m finding that the hardest part is dealing with straight dudes. I swear not more than a half dozen dudes have actually looked me in the face in the last 9 or so months. :/

    It was L’s birthday today, but we’re celebrating tomorrow since I work today (technically, that’s later today we’re celebrating, which is why.) If anyone feels like helping out with his birthday tattoo this is the place. (The tattooist isn’t available until later in the month.)

  68. 478


    *hugs* and happy birthday to L!

    There was a large meeting at our company last week, where a large part of employees were informed about a new policy of having to bring in a certain number of contracts per year. Some of them are developers and DBA! I’m not sure what the measures will be when this turns impossible for most people.

    Luckily, I wasn’t invited so this doesn’t concern me, but it’s possible they’ll spread the horror to everyone. I heard another IT company in the city did the same thing last year. I haven’t heard how that turned out.

  69. rq

    I’d rather crickets than fleas (or moths), with or without tumbleweed. I rather like the noise. Spring peepers are still the best, though. I miss those guys.

    Yep, I tried sales once. Same attitude: anyone can do it! Nope, nope, nope. People tell me ‘no’ and I have a horrible guilt complex that rears its head when I try to convince them otherwise. Just can’t do it.


    I wanna cut my hair off. It’s been two years, so why not?

  70. 482


    I like listening to that frog.

    Are you going to cut it short? I keep thinking about letting mine grow out, but always change my mind because this short thing is much easier to maintain, especially for someone like me who doesn’t care much about spending time on hair care.

  71. 483

    [rolls into the bar with a pile of gear on a dolly]

    [spends five minutes connecting cables]

    [spends five more minutes cursing and looking for the damned 12volt adaptor]

    [tunes, plugs in, turns master volume up to 8, looks around and seeing a criminal lack of hearing protection turns back down to 5]

    [nods to bragimike, stomps the octave and fuzz pedals and lays down the riff with two sub-octaves of gut jellying, trouser flapping, small mammal stunning bass]

    Hung for a penny, hung for a pound, if it’s worth doing, it’s worth two in the bush, seize the carp… er, kick out the jams mudder-ruckers!

    And by way of apology for that rude interruption, have an amazing cover of Seven Nation Army:


  72. rq

    Yep, going to cut it short. It’s what I do: grow it out to somewhere mid-back, then chop it off to my chin. If I tell people about my plan, I hear a lot of moaning about how I shouldn’t and that my long hair is just soooo pretty, but everyone agrees that short works for me, too, in the end. Plus it’s just nice to not manage it for a while.

    Zewy nice, where’s your cover of the song? 🙂

  73. 485

    rq Ha. Part of my self-deprecating patter when I play my own stuff at the open stage is: “I write my own songs because I’m not good enough to play anyone else’s.”

    That said, I finally have a new song mostly down. I think it’s going to be called: “It’s Just an Open Stage You’re Going Through”

    In a back garden beer hall
    Making noise because we can
    Wedging a life of music
    Between family, work and sleep

    In a shed full of spiders
    Mowers, rakes and bikes
    Subdividing stolen moments
    With volume, pitch and beat

    Finding a voice in amongst all these fears
    Finding a voice in amongst all these years
    Gotta live

    In public at your age
    Never going to be a star
    Has-been, wanna-be, never-was
    It’s all the same to me

    I’ll stumble ever forward
    On this unseen path of mine
    And I’ll fall into the grave
    In my own good time

    The music is a five beat pattern over a four beat one, for a total phrase length of twenty beats. Verses run over the four beat pattern and the chorus, such as it is, over the five beat. The big finish is both at once (it took me ages to get the riffs so they never clashed badly, harmonically speaking) while I add a bunch of layers of controlled chaos over top.

    I also wrote the four beat phrase so that it’s ambiguous modally. It’s made up of the notes that the keys F and Fm have in common. I add a riff later that alternates using an A and an Aflat over top of it to really confuse things. The chorus is unapologetically in F major and after the ambiguity it sounds pretty emphatic.

    It went over really well at the last open stage. The real amateurs there dug the lyric, while the pros* sat up and paid attention when they heard the five beat phrase, and started whispering to each other when I laid the four beat bass line over top of it. A big part of the challenge in live-looping is to keep it interesting as you lay the loops down. Doing this poly-meter stuff is one solution that I’m exploring for that.

    *This was the last open stage at our local pub. Maybe. The owners sold the place, and I debuted this tune at the ‘We’re outta here suckers!’ party. Rumour has it that new owners will keep on, but who knows? Anyway, the old owner called a bunch of his former band mates, real pros, to come jam one last time. Fortunately I’ve played in front of most of them before, just not when they’ve all been there in a big group. It was a wee bit stressful, but pretty gratifying at the same time because I managed to hold their attention.

  74. rq

    Go you! Now I want to hear it. I’m probably imagining it all wrong, but it certainly sounds intriguing. 🙂 Love the lyrics, too. *thumbs up*
    (Also, as a point of interest for all the other fellow has-beens (etc.) out there, my real-life name, as translated from Euskara (it’s not actually a Basque name, but it appears as a word in the language), actually means ‘has been’, which I find rather amusing since I am most certainly a never-was, when it comes to anything like making it big. 🙂 )

  75. 487


    Unfortunately, I don’t know much about music, so I didn’t understand most of what you explained.
    But I dig the lyrics. 🙂

  76. 488

    Just so you know, crickets can be kosher. FYI.

    Dalillama and Beatrice
    That’s exactly my situation. As you remember, I was out of work this fall and I’m relatively new on this job. At first I was tech support, then they sent me to debt collection and then to full customer service. And by “sent” I mean I’m sitting exactly where I was, but have a new label.
    At first I was against that, but now I’m actually happy. Whereas most drones regurgitate the same tech catchphrases, I get to have more variety. And that also helps me take on harder clients. I think there isn’t a day without me dealing with a CEO or some other VIP.
    It’s nice and I enjoy learning new things.
    Sales, however, is going too far!

    Happy birthday to L!

    Have you thought about selling your hear to ultra-orthodox Jewish women?

    I was just starting to forget that riff, and then you had to come and resurrect my addiction!

    So. Yesterday our home internet access was cut off due to debt. I paid for it and it was reconnected, but that was not a fun experience. I also suspect that next month we’ll a day or two of disconnections (there is a gap between the date when the pay comes in and when the bills are due).

  77. 489


    Have you thought about selling your hear to ultra-orthodox Jewish women?

    To double on your misspelling, I read that as heart… that was disturbing.

  78. rq


    crickets can be kosher

    [emphasis mine]
    When are they not kosher…?
    Also, I misread the same way as Beatrice and had to take a moment – like, what are you suggesting, what have I done wrong??? But then I figured it out. And no, I haven’t thought about it. I still have my braid from last time that I wanted to donate for some place that does wigs for cancer patients, but then I found out that Locks of Love isn’t all they say they are, and so I didn’t send it away (because, if anyone’s going to make money off my hair, it’s me), but I’m not sure if I have enough to send away this time.
    The Orthodox Jewish women aspect sounds interesting, though. Not sure mine’s the right colour (does that matter?).

  79. 491


    To double on your misspelling, I read that as heart… that was disturbing.

    But she would never sell her bucket to the night!


    When are they not kosher…?

    Well, technically they’re never kosher, but locust are kosher (or at least could be kosher when it’s not not kosher, by arbitrarily designating them as heavenly manna), and if one Orthoptera is kosher, then by God they all must be! Because I’m all for pushing boundaries.
    So they can be. If we want it.

    Not sure mine’s the right colour (does that matter?).

    Why, do you have green hair or something?
    (I’m now imagining with a rainbow-like fluorescent hair that changes shades as it moves).

    P.S. sorry for the misspelling, but at least it was fun 🙂

  80. rq


    Rubber boots: 10 euro
    Rain jacket: 25 euro
    Shovel: 20 euro
    Bucket: PRICELESS!

  81. rq

    if one Orthoptera is kosher, then by God they all must be

    Yes, let’s push those boundaries! Also, I like the Orthoptera = heavenly manna bit. Has a certain lovely ring to it, especially since Orthoptera shares the first half of itself with orthodoxy.
    Although I harbour a certain preference for this version of heavenly manna (debesis = sky, heaven; manna is self-evident).

  82. 496

    The lounge seems to be taking a bit of a surreal turn at the moment. Not that there’s anything wrong with that!

    …I’m bring my bass back seeing as I have company now.

    I love the lyrics to your song FossilFishy and the 5 vs 4 sounds intriguing.

    Have your hair how you like rq , it’s yours after all.

    *hugs* to all of you undergoing major upheavals. So I’ll shout out to Dalilama It’s Cal, CaitieCat, AlexanderZ, Tony!, Beatrice & Cicely . I’m doing my best to keep up with everyone!

  83. rq

    Sometimes I want to charge people extra for having an attitude.
    I get sent a single sentence with the word ‘sound’ appearing in it twice, with the request to re-write it, with the word ‘sound’ appearing only once (i.e. find a synonym). So I did that, correcting some of the internal grammar, too, except apparently I changed the wrong ‘sound’ and got a whole woe-is-me diatribe about how difficult it is to work with translators and how everything must be explained in detail every time and please don’t mess with the rest of the sentence and pretty much holy shit, just change that one word (except that the reason I didn’t do so is because it makes more sense to change the other). (I mean I work through a company, but the person handling these orders doesn’t usually forward me client emails.) *sigh* I may just refuse altogether, it’s just the one sentence and they’re only paying me because they sent it back through the company a second time. Totally not worth the anxiety.

  84. 498

    Long weekend. Loooonnnnng weekend. Very tired, very sore from moving things at Aged Mum’s then helping Husband with his grand clear-out of the lumber room.

    The sad news: something got the hummingbird nest. The mother is still around, and she’ll most likely try again, but Elder Daughter and I are very sad.

    The subsequent happier news: I confirmed last night that the Very Big Thing
    that crunches around in the backyard after dark is indeed a possum. Bonus, it was a female, and she had her baby on her back. There was family squeeing.

    Hugs for all and sundry. I’m here, I care, I’m just hiding from the universe in the pillow fort.

  85. 499

    Sorry to hear about the humming birds Anne , but good about your possum. We get the occasional fox and once had a family of blue tits in our nesting box. We were lucky enough to see them fledge. We’ve had nothing for a few years now, which is disappointing.

  86. 500

    *hugs* for rq, with a wish for the Permanent Exiling of the Nasty.

    I wanna cut my hair off. It’s been two years, so why not?

    Ummm…no reason?
    Was this a test? Did I Fail?

    *hugs* for Dalillama, and Happy Birthday for L.
    That’s a nice tattoo. Meaningful.



    just so you know, crickets can be kosher. FYI.

    Never eat dead or diseased insects.
    (From some survival-in-the-wild show ‘way back in the mid-to-late ’80s (I think).)

    Sales require more extroversion than I possess…but Everyone Knows™ that introverts could be extroverts, if they would only try.

    *dropping this here, walking away whistling, all casual-like*

    *hugback* for bragimike.
    Surreality is the best kind of reality!
    Which reminds me of a running joke from ‘way back in my college days—my roommate and I used to threaten to open a Surreal Estate Office—and sell Dali and Escher prints, and similar.

    *hugs&liniments* for Anne.
    Sorry about the hummingbirds; and if you really want a family of possums, just show up some evening at my house, with a box—there’s a freeloading group of ’em here that wants to live on our cats’ food. I think we could easily spare them.

    Also Superfluous to Current Requirements: an unknown number of attic-dwelling raccoons. Anybody? Don’t be shy….

    (Why does Spellcheck not like “raccoons”? )

  87. 501

    And I would like to propose that the plural of “raccoon” be changed to “burglary”, as in, “a burglary of raccoons has broken-into-and-entered our attic”.

  88. rq

    According to this, it’s a ‘gaze’ of raccoons. Must be the eyes.

    THE BUCKET IS MINE I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE IT IS my towel, however, is a different question altogether.

  89. 509

    I’m still perplexed that a group of wombats is called a `wisdom`. They’re aren’t the first animal that comes to mind when I think about wisdom. They aren’t even the tenth.


    Although I harbour a certain preference for this version of heavenly manna

    So beautiful. No words. They should have sent a poet…

    Thanks, bragimike


    Never eat dead or diseased insects.

    Solid advice. If I were ever to eat any insect (and that’s a big if) I’d only do it at the most vetted Insecta cookery in the world. And it would be deep fried.

    Pity about the hummingbirds, but at least the mother survived. Also, isn’t it a bit suspicious that the possum showed up at the same time?
    Not that I’m pointing fingers (because a possum could bite it off).

    Giving we’re more likely to talk about wildlife that racial slurs, maybe it’d best to unban that word?
    BTW, I thought that the thread switches to a new page after 500 comments. When is being switched over now?

  90. 510

    I’m going to take the word out of the prohibited list of terms here in a bit.

    I’ll have to check on the switchover to a new page. I might have set up something different here, but cannot recall.

  91. 513

    no, I didn’t read everything, but I got Dalillamas announcement

    Rq, if you can find the time in Barcelona, go to the Aquarium

  92. rq

    I rather like calling them ‘yenot’ as well, and if you say it in a quasi-French manner, it almost sounds like ‘ya know’ or ‘yah, no’.
    ‘Tanuki’ sounds cute, though. Probably how they get past everyone’s defenses, lookin’ all cute n bandity n stuff.

  93. rq

    *thumbs up*
    I’ll certainly try, on your recommendation, but since it’s a work thing, I don’t know if I’ll manage. Hope your vacation is going well!!!

    Well, technically yenots and rac*oons aren’t related, either, but they’re all got cute bandity faces, so who really cares? 😀
    As for the testicles, well, can’t help you there, but I’m thinking if there’s one animal that’s allowed to use large balls as an excuse to manspread…!

  94. 516

    Happy Monday all! (Fri was sh*t, the weekend was OK, so I’m hoping for better this week…..)

    April is looking to be a busy month, both at work and non-work, with some vacation and recreation activities planned.

    Son turns 16 today (yay? :-)) and will make a second attempt to pass his driving learners permit test this Wed. And has his first behind-the-wheel lesson on Thurs. (Sh*t, I need to contact our insurance agent…..)

    *hugs* and *higs* to all, especially Cal, Dalillama and momma hummingbird.

  95. 517

    Holidays are going splendid
    We’ll go to the mammoth museum tomorrow

    Rq, when are you going? I might have some metro tickets left…
    Pricing is weird…

  96. rq

    Beginning of May – I believe the official dates are 9 to 12, with 10 and 11 basically booked up with seminar stuff.
    Now you mention a mammoth museum. *sigh*

  97. 524

    Oh, stupid things coming out of my mouth (or in this case keyboard)
    So, a friend got a job in the city and she asked whether she can stay with me while she looks for an apartment. I said of course, just that she should know that I’ll have to completely ignore her until next week because I have to study for an exam.

    And now I realize that didn’t sound very welcoming.
    It really is a bad moment since I’m basically a hermit with trouble concentrating at the best of times, but I didn’t mean to make her feel unwelcome. Stupid self-centered fingers-quicker-than-my-brain …
    Ugh, I don’t want to be a selfish asshole, but it just comes naturally.

  98. rq

    Actually, I think it sounds more like a warning for her not to expect too much attention to you. After all, you have your life and your priorities, and as long as she’s self-sufficient, I’m sure she’ll be okay!

  99. 526

    Erm, yenots are racc**ns. Or did I miss something?

    Good luck to your son!

    She’s your friend – she should know that you didn’t mean anything bad by that. Also, exams are a pretty huge deal. It’s normal to keep to yourself during exam study, she should understand that.
    Also, good luck on your exams!

    For some reason I’m getting really delayed notifications for some of the comments here. Notably Tony‘s replies, but also any comment immediately following his. Odd.

  100. 527

    Beatrice, you weren’t being unwelcoming, you were just being honest. It’s no different from saying you have a big project coming up at work so you won’t be around much. [hugs]

    I think I got enough exercise for today, moving stuff out of the big den closet, sorting stuff, putting stuff back in. Ouch. At least tomorrow both daughters will be home, so I can leave most of the laundry to them.

  101. rq


    Erm, yenots are racc**ns. Or did I miss something?

    I don’t know. I just know that for my whole life, yenots and rac*oons have been two different animals (yenots mostly being short for jenotsuns, which is the raccoon-dog). So I don’t know? It’s only the last few years I’ve seen them treated (and defined) as the same animal. Perhaps with the introduction and spread of actual rac*oons? Meh. Banditbeasts.

  102. 530

    Being selfish would be saying “No, you can’t stay, I’m busy go away.” You’re going out of your way to be helpful, it’s not at all unreasonable to expect them to make some accomodations as well.

  103. 533

    FossilFishy @ 485

    I’m notoriously bad at fitting melody and lyrics, but can the lyrics be made to scan with this to some degree?

    The melody was/is used for singing Kalevala poetry.

  104. 535

    chigau, after some research, we think the perp was probably a squirrel. They do eat baby birds, and the branches around the nest were all too thin to support a possum. When in doubt, blame the squirrel.

    Guh. Tomorrow night Husband has more TV than anyone with any taste might want to watch – primary coverage on several channels, The Voice, and a clip show retrospective of the complete history of American Idol. Poor baby, our DVR can only record one show if you want to be able to switch channels on the other TV, so he had to make a choice. I may spend the evening hiding in the bedroom. I did, however, put my foot down and insist we record the one thing I want to watch later, which was none of the aforementioned. I try to be a good wifey, but I have limits.

  105. rq

    I wrote an angry email and now I’m afraid it was too angry and that I’ll get an even angrier one back, leading to an endless cycle of angry emails – endless, at least until I chicken out and say I’m sorry.

  106. 539

    Beatrice @ 524

    You were reasonable. Now she knows what she’s getting into. It’s a passing moment in her life, but the exams may change yours for the rest of your life. Good luck!

  107. 540

    I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong Beatrice . You’ve just laid down some ground rules.

    It’s been all go here: My daughter has started at the ‘new’ nursery (all the same staff and children, but a new location and name).

    We took daughter to her first theme park at the weekend and she loved it. They had a section based on Thomas the Tank Engine called ThomasLand and we spent most of the time there.

    We’ve booked a holiday for the Summer.

    We find out in less than two weeks which school my daughter will go to.

    ..And my car’s gone in for a service.

    It’s all too much for my modest brain!

  108. rq

    Proofreading a long, important document that’s about 81 pages long. Thought to myself, This is going great, I’m making good progress!
    Yup, I’m on page 11. 😀


    Moose or ski?
    Yay for the good kind of busy-ness, which sounds like what you’re having (besides the car in service, may the service be quick and the bill smaller than you expect).

  109. 542

    Clever rq ! As my conductor pointed out: maybe this was written by his brother Arrogant. Coincidentally, one of our upcoming concerts is a Russian one. There quite a lot of scope for repertoire.

    11 pages into proofreading doesn’t sound too bad: it’s 1/8th of the way. When I have that kind of thing to do, I take frequent breaks as you need your concentration. Good Luck!

  110. rq

    Just hit page 13. 😀 It’s just dense material. Nothing particularly difficult, but I think commas and hyphens is the most tedious type of proof-reading one can do. Anyway. Lots of breaks! But at least I’m avoiding the writing of reports, mwahahahaha.

    I love Russian composers in general, though there’s a specific few I dislike. Not going to name any names.
    One of the most interesting pieces for me that we played in orchestra was, I think, Symphony No. 3 in A minor by Alexander Borodin (who seems to have been an all-round awesome guy). The one that’s unfinished and is named after winter or something. We did only the bits by Borodin himself, and it was lovely. Also long ago. I should listen to that again.
    What’s on the list for your concert?

  111. 544

    What’s on the list for your concert?

    That’s a good question! It’s the concert after next, so we have a Prom concert first. In the Russian one there’s a good chance we’ll have some Shostakovich, possibly Tchaikovsky, Stravinsky, Mussorgsky, Prokofiev, Glinka and Borodin. The selection hasn’t been finalised yet. I can let you know closer to the time, if you’re interested.

  112. rq

    The selection hasn’t been finalised yet. I can let you know closer to the time, if you’re interested.

    I am! If it’s not too much trouble.

  113. 547

    Thanks to some assistance from Chris Hall (one of the many great bloggers here at The Orbit), I have installed a Donation page *and* a link to the Speakeasy in the sidebar!
    I’ve never done something tech oriented like this (granted, I couldn’t have done it without assistance, so it’s not like I did it on my own), but this little accomplishment makes me feel good 🙂

  114. 548

    Ok, I made a few minor tweaks. A new page *should* start after 350 comments and I removed coon from the list of prohibited terms (can someone post a comment with raccoon in it just to make sure please).

  115. rq

    Also Tony, way to go with learning new things! The best first step is to do it with a knowing person’s assistance – and then, all on your own! So I say well done! 🙂

  116. 555

    The museum was rather small but nice

    And here’s one of the stories that can only happen in real life cause if someone wrote it you’d flip them the bird

    After lunch (sandwiches and stuff out of the rucksack) I went into some Hipster place to get some coffee. Now in places like Barcelona people have the fuck annoying habit of switching to English but this guy didn’t. But the Spanish was off. After we got clear on how the coffee was supposed to be, I asked if I could ask him a question: was he German? Yes indeed he was. He’d supposed I was German as well from my accent, where in Germany was I from? Oh, that’s 15 km from where his mum lives, he used to live in the city I used it live in while in college.

  117. 558

    Beatrice: way up there about being unwelcoming
    Your friend is flopping with you while she looks for an apartment,
    I expect she won’t have much time for you, either.
    You two can do lunch after the dust settles.

  118. rq

    Well excuuuuuuuuuuse me my provinciality, Your Grace chigau!
    *bows deeply, knocking over tables and chairs in the process*
    … But I’ve never been one to think much of The Colonies. *sniff*

  119. 564

    …But I’ve never been one to think much of The Colonies.

    I am shocked that you would utter something so blasphemous. You must be made to walk the plank at once!

  120. rq

    Considering the hunk of wood they laid down to cover the holes in the floor, I already walk the plank every day. Please think of a new punishment.
    Perhaps a hunk with wood, laid down on our floor…?

  121. 566

    Thanks for all the tech work!
    I had a hidden motive for asking you to unban raccoon:
    I fricking love Maine Coons!

    How was visiting Barcelona on the week they’ve lost to Real?

  122. 567

    I heard part of the game on the radio
    I should have known by the silence afterwards that they lost

    Beatrice, what the others said

  123. rq

    Is it more correct to say ‘appendix’ or ‘annex’, when speaking of documents appended to an official document?
    I used to think that ‘appendix’ was correct, but I keep seeing ‘annex’ appear in European (translations of?) documents, and now I’m not so sure. Anyone?

  124. rq

    bragimike and Anne
    This would be my first instinct, too (esp. with the annex = building part). But. Official documents and all, and I’m starting to doubt whether I should be correcting ‘annex’ to ‘appendix’. I’m wondering if this is a European-English peculiarity that is slowly turning into a correct form of English in Europe.

  125. 572

    rq, if similar documents are using Annex, I’d go with that, as your last speculation is correct: European English is a Thing, and it’s notably distinct from USan or Canadian usage. Annex sounds a bit old-fashioned, suggesting it might be one of those fossilised bits that Euro English retains from earlier usages, like a strong was/were distinction, and if v whether.

    That is, US English has largely dispensed with the “if I were” construct, but I find it still robust in Euro English. Similarly, US English is losing the use of whether (possibly because people are poorly aware of the spelling, viz. weather, pronounced identically in common USE). “If” is substituted: I don’t know if I should stay or go.

    I mention these not dismissively, but descriptively; language changes when it gets used a lot, it’s basic linguistic knowledge, and not something I judge in people (too often criticism of language standards “slipping” is rooted in classism).

    That’s a bunch of words, but unlike bragimike, I can say I am a professional in this. 🙂

  126. rq


    European English is a Thing, and it’s notably distinct from USan or Canadian usage.

    This I have noticed a lot. It even differs from British English. In any case, thanks for the info; it all seems to make sense, but I can’t shake the instinct that it’s wrong to use Annex (personal failing due to habit, I suppose). I’m curious to hear Giliell‘s take on this, too.

  127. 574

    rq: Oh, it’s different from UK Englishes too, just less so. I tend to use a UK standard when working for a European client, unless they ask for US (typically because the journal uses that standard), and it’s a much better fit.

  128. 575


    If I were ever to eat any insect (and that’s a big if) I’d only do it at the most vetted Insecta cookery in the world. And it would be deep fried.

    And served with cheese.
    (And penguin-baffles, of course!)
    Maine Coons are awesome cats! If I were picking a “breed” cat, I’d probably go with one of them.

    JimB, happy birthday to Son, and may he succeed at his Second Attempt. 🙂

    A museum of mammalian moths?

    Beatrice, this is a friend, yes? Someone who knows you, at least somewhat?
    I took it on first read as just a sensible warning; surely someone who knows you would know that you weren’t deliberately planning to just blow them off?


    When in doubt, blame the squirrel.

    Good advice—in cases such as this, where the twigs are too thin to support the weight of a Horse.
    I am unaware of any documented instances of Horses using squirrels as Their dupes/front-men/surrogates.


    …But I’ve never been one to think much of The Colonies.

    I am shocked that you would utter something so blasphemous. You must be made to walk the plank at once!

    Remember that rq is Horse-touched, and therefore Not In Her Right Mind….

    I used to be a Holy Terror Grammarian.

    I got better.

  129. 576

    In Croatian, aneks can refer to a new building part, but you can also have aneks ugovora = annex to a contract which is something like addition to a contract but not in the sense of something attached to the original contract, but a later addition with its own dates and signatures – something that extends the conditions (budget/ scope / conclusion date) of the original contract.

  130. 577

    At least I can contribute that I never heard Annex, only Appendix
    You can also look up regional distribution of a word on Google Trends
    Sorry I’m not more helpful, but I’m 1200 km away from my laptop

  131. rq

    No worries, thanks for the input. 🙂

    Well, Latvian has a specific Latvian word, but it can be mistranslated as Annex instead of Appendix when translating into English (especially if the sentence is something like “The Appendix is annexed to this document”). And I think, as Cait mentions, Annex is the slightly older version of Appendix, but it’s appearing everywhere in documentation, so I’m not longer sure if it’s an actual mistranslation that should be corrected, or a mistranslation that is now an accepted norm. Just weird and interesting to see changes actually occurring in the language.

  132. rq

    It’s that obvious, huh? I thought people would say things like ‘forest’ or ‘sunshine’. Huh.

  133. rq

    *serves tea and cookies-of-choice*
    Speaking of tea, I think I’m going to make something resembling biscuits this weekend.
    Question for the experts: what’s the difference between scones and biscuits? Sweetness…? (Or gentility?)

  134. 591

    rq In the UK a scone is really a kind of cake (following the definition of a cake as something that goes hard when it’s stale rather than a biscuit that goes soft). You can get savoury scones too.

    Does that help or make it more confusing?
    Were you just thinking of making scones or contemplating other baked goods?

  135. 592

    Thanks for the kind words folks. I’ve been stupidly busy/stupefyingly tired of late. I really shouldn’t jump in if I can’t respond in a reasonable amount of time. And today I used up all my time on Pharyngula threads that will be dead by tomorrow, if they aren’t already. More personal responses soon… ish.

    Be well all.

  136. 595

    Btw, chigau, you are wrong. Friend does have plenty of free time besides looking for an apartment. For some inexplicable reason, she arranged to see one apartment for today and none yet for tomorrow.

    I’m not really sure what the hell she’s thinking.

  137. 596


    what’s the difference between scones and biscuits

    Here in yankeeland, scones are sweet quickbreads, often with bits of fruit, nuts, and/or candies in, usually eaten with tea or coffee. Biscuits are unsweetened bits of quickbread, seasoned with cheese or savories if at all, and usually eaten as a side to a meal, used to soak up sauces and gravies.

  138. 597

    *grabs pillow, buries face in it, yells with the entirety of his being*

    OK, I feel better. For the moment. I’ll just hang on to the pillow, though. I feel I’ll need it some more.

  139. 599

    I see we are all in a great mood. I’ll blame the day.. curse you Thursday! You thought you could get away with being an asshole just because you’re not a Monday? Nope. No excuses to you, before-Friday day.

    .. sorry. It’s just this damned Thursday

  140. rq

    Also I would like to shout-out and *hugs* for YOB, with fond wishes of everything going as well as can be!

  141. 604

    General *hugs* for Fossilfishy, Beatrice, JimB, rq, Anne, YOB and all the folks who are having a bad time there. And also, if you’re reading, to Portia, JAL, Pteryxx, and Ogvorbis, and I hope you’re all doing well.
    In personal news, I am off to the doctor’s office in a couple of hours, where I expect to receive a prescription for hormone therapy. I approach this prospect with a mixture of eagerness and the trepidation that always (for me) accompanies any decision/change of any significance.
    I found a new player for my game, then lost them to real life problems the same weekend. :/

  142. 605

    *momentary break from yelling into pillow*


    Good luck to your son!

    Thanks! He passed yesterday, and in about 30 minutes has his first behind-the-wheel lesson. I’m….I’m not sure how I feel about this. 🙂


    I approach this prospect with a mixture of eagerness and the trepidation that always (for me) accompanies any decision/change of any significance.

    That sounds like a typical reaction to me. I’ve certainly felt that way during significant decisions.

    Good luck with the therapy (is that a proper thing to say? If not, let me know and I apologize in advance).
    It’s one thing to deal with problems created by others, but when it’s your own mistakes/stupidity/screwups, that’s whole other level of frustration. And this week has been nothing but the latter, on ONE PROJECT. Manager is understanding and supportive, but that does little to help how I feel.

    *clutches pillow, prepares for another bout of yelling*

  143. 606

    I’m done with the internet today. I’m just done. I can’t fucking deal with some commenters in other places (all of which shall remain nameless).

    There’s this one who comes in and spews all kinds of hateful shit, and then calls everybody else “racist” for calling her on it. (She claims to be Korean, but I sincerely doubt she’s anything other than a pasty White FemRA.) She’s now complaining that people have compared her to the KKK. (If the shoe fits…) Oh, this particular shitposter also has a personal army all set up and ready to e-mail-bomb the mods with her “complaints”, and gets people deleted and even outright banned for (rightly!) defending themselves against her attacks. (So. Dishonest.)

    There’s another who’s a self-appointed “mediator”, and her efforts do nothing beyond encouraging the shitposters and trolls. Nice enough girl, but too much with the “both sides” arguments, and way too engage-y with the nasties.

    And then we have the black woman who keeps defending slavery and segregation. *sigh* This one… I literally cannot even.

    So that’s more than enough internet for one day. I’m going for a walk.

  144. rq

    And may it go swimmingly.

    Oh come on, it’s not like putting teenagers without experience on the road is a bad idea. 🙂
    (I’m sure he’ll do fine.)

    bragimike (and Dalillama) re: scones/biscuits
    Both answers were both clarifying and confusing. I think the UK biscuit is something more like a cookie rather than a scone?
    I’ve looked up recipes for both and they’re both basically the same, a sort of mildly flavoured yeastless bread that can be adjusted for any situation (you can add cheese, fruit, spices, herbs, everything!). So I’m just going to make little bread thingies this weekend, that solves all problems of nomenclature! 😀

  145. 609

    Dalilama good luck with everything you’re going through. I hope that it means that things improve for you.

    Jim B is there anything I can do to help you feel better?

    wmdkitty the internet can be a frustrating and and anger-making place. It can also be beautiful. That’s why I come here!…..also to play music very loud to keep Cait awake 🙂

    rq good luck with the baking. Yes, biscuits in the UK would be synonymous with cookies in the US. We do have cookies, but they tend to be large biscuits.
    Don’t get me started on cheesecake or muffins! Mmmmm muffins.

    I hope to make some Brioche soon, when I have the best part of a day free!

  146. 613

    Good luck with the treatment! Here’s hoping that the dosage adjustments would be as quick as possible and everything goes smoothly!


    Friend does have plenty of free time besides looking for an apartment.

    I’m not really sure what the hell she’s thinking.

    I’d guess something along the lines of “I’m perfectly comfortable at Beatrice’s already”.


    White FemRA

    You mean FeMRA?
    Because I googled FemRA and got something in Spanish and pics of pretty girls in bikinis.


    I’m going to go play with the crocodiles.

    Play to win!
    also *hugs*

    I will survive!

    That was, without doubt, the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while. That gif belongs in a museum.
    The large bulge is one of those little details that turn good art into great art.

    I don’t know if I shared this here, so I’m going to go ahead and post it anyway:
    Hellfire – Female cover

  147. 614

    OK, I was in a horrible mood yesterday, and that makes me more of an asshole than usually.
    It relies on stereotypes, and you can’t even know about our local stereotypes, but she’s just the stereotypical Dalmatian person – so laid back that a raw nerve like me finds it maddening. I’ll use “sometimes stereotypes are based on actual patterns in behavior” excuse and you can try to drag it out of my cold dead hands. 🙂

    Anyways ,I’m a bit better today. It was just a really low day at work yesterday. I got upset and decided that everyone hates me and I should just shut up forever because all I do is annoy people. I got better.
    All the studying is making me tired, which then makes me more irritable and sad.

    (… but she could have washed her coffee cup and coffee maker.. Like, really. OK, ok, I’ll stop now )

  148. 616

    Thanks everybody. Feeling a bit better today, mainly ’cause it’s Fri.

    Son’s first lesson went well, he said. Mentioned there was a lot of traffic – I burst out laughing. “Welcome to my world”.

    I’m hopeful there’s a chance to leave work early and head up to Sacramento for a friend’s birthday party & punk rock show. He & his band got their start playing in my living room in college for my 25th b-day. This was 25 years ago! If I don’t make it up there today, I’ll see him and a few other friends late next week as we gather for the 25th anniversary of the student-run college radio station we all helped found.

    http://www.kssu.com/ (And no, I am not the “Jim” mentioned there. There are 2 “JimB’s involved – I’m the less-visible one. :-))

  149. 617

    Beatrice, [hugs]. Your “guest” has no nice manners, and it sounds to me like she’s treating you like a hotel. She should at least offer to clean up her own mess.

    [Hugs] offered for the rest of you.

  150. 619


    good for them.
    A linked article writes about a Dutch women’s rights group flying medical abortion pills from Germany to Poland by drone because it’s technically legal (until laws are updated to fit modern technological advancements, at least). That’s cool

  151. 620

    I made bread.
    I’ll share.

    If DirtyCoffeeCup keeps it up, try leaving circled real estate ads where she can’t miss them.

  152. rq

    Happy birthday to you, did I get that right from your general comment?? *hugs*


    Whoa there Russian composers, what were you thinking with Rimsky-Korsakov? Wow.

  153. rq

    I hope they serve excellent coffee, because that name is just… 😛

    I mention R-K because we went to a ballet last night (Husband’s work gifts employees opera/ballet tickets at Christmas, so we get pretty fancy seats for a change) – the premiere of some new local choreographer’s Sheherezade (music by R-K), and it was incredible. Good music makes me cry, so that’s what I did – at the beginning (first 5 minutes!) and at the end. And the performance itself was fantastic, esp. the rather ambiguous but emotionally wrenching ending. Stellar, absolutely stellar. And my (former) choir conductor was conducting the orchestra, which means top-notch musical interpretation. I could make the usual complaints about costumes and how much skin which dancer is showing, buuut… there was a guy in gold underwear covered in glitter, some nice man-on-man dancing/action, several very well-co-ordinated and built up crowd scenes, and nobody was painted brown/black for ‘authenticity’. So, WIN. If I get the chance, I will go see it again.

  154. 626


    Maine Coons are awesome cats! If I were picking a “breed” cat, I’d probably go with one of them.

    I can also recommend Siamese cats or any Siamese mix where the mother is Siamese. My cat is half-Siamese on his mother’s side and he’s adorable. He’s certainly a full maintenance cat that requires your complete attention and needs humans around him as much as possible, but he’s very faithful, caring and talkative.
    Usually he uses the gift of speech to nag endlessly for more food, but he sometimes tells long stories of what he saw outside (it sounds like actual phrases: “miaow mi mi miaaa rrrmew rmi…” and so on). Very funny.


    Son’s first lesson went well, he said. Mentioned there was a lot of traffic – I burst out laughing. “Welcome to my world”.

    Ha! He’s growing up 🙂


    she’s just the stereotypical Dalmatian person

    You’re right, I don’t know your local stereotypes, so when you said that I immediately thought of this. (Don’t ask me how I know that channel because I’ll lie).
    I’m happy that you’re feeling better. Hopefully when the exams are behind you’ll be a lot less stressed.

  155. 628

    So… do the crickets come because there are no people or do people leave because of the crickets?


    (look, I’ve been studying for most of the day and I need to rest my brain occasionally so don’t judge me)

  156. 630

    Hi folks
    Jusrt letting you know we’re safely back home
    And to keep up the holiday spirit, we built a scale model of the Pyrennees in dirty laundry

  157. rq

    *chirp chirp*
    I’m at work so there’s just the crickets standing in for me. That one over there, annnnd… that one, they’re representing me.

  158. 636

    Thanks all for the well wishes.

    I’ll use “sometimes stereotypes are based on actual patterns in behavior” excuse and you can try to drag it out of my cold dead hands..

    In the case of cultural stereotypes, they’re quite often based on another culture’s interpretation of some actual cultural difference; in this case, I don’t doubt that Dalmatia has significantly different cultural approach to many things from your own. The ‘those X people are all so laid back and frivolous, they never take anything seriously enough’ vs. ‘Those Y people, they’re such uptight prigs, they take everything way too seriously’ pairs are very common, too. The U.S. (frivoulous) and the UK (Uptight), or the West Coast of the US (Frivoulous) vs. the East Coast (uptight) are the immediate Anglosphere ones that leap to mind, but I’m absolutly certain you could find several paired regions in the UK that feel that way about each other.


    I hope they serve excellent coffee, because that name is just

    Not any better than dozens of other coffeeshops in town. The food is all artisinal and more than a bit pretentious (Gratuitous French on the menu, semi-random combinations of fancy ingredients, etc.). The decor is their major selling point, and is moderately amusing. The bathroom walls are painted blue with fish on them, and there’s the bottom of a rowboat and a fishing line sticking out of the ceiling. The toilet paper holder is a pair of hands, and they’ve painted a mermaid on the wall behind it with arms extented to end at the holder, for instance.

    Welcome home.

  159. 637

    Welcome home, Giliell!

    Dalillama, [hugs] if you want ’em.

    We’ve been out on a family expedition – to the big art supply store and a new local Japanese sundries store, where most things are $1.50. Much fun was had.

    After lunch I’m going to take a nap because all that fun kinda wore me out. This constantly tired thing is getting very old.

  160. 639

    Seen this my fellow radical types?
    lurking and somewhat ‘treadrupt. [Thanks, It’s cal for the ‘shout out’ !]
    *hugs. higs. etc.* to all

    Unemployment appeal hearing set for Tues. April 12. Trying to prepare (in advance) for the (probable futile– on my part) inquisition.*

    * Obligatory: https://youtu.be/sAn7baRbhx4

  161. 641

    HI folks
    Yes, having a full size bed again is nice.
    I’ll tell you lots of stories and post pics later.

    Good luck!


    I’ll use “sometimes stereotypes are based on actual patterns in behavior” excuse and you can try to drag it out of my cold dead hands..

    Some people are unfortunately walking, talking stereotypes. Did I ever mention my American housemate Ryan? He confirmed about every stereotype I ever knew about USAsians. And we all know men who are like the doofus husband from the cleaner commercials and the women who are like the blondes in “comedies”.
    Problem is that those people then get treated as the “real thing” while everyone else is just secretly the same but now showing it…

  162. 642

    Giliell, Dalillama

    I know that you’re right.
    It’s confirmation bias at work: she hits some marks of the stereotype so stereotype must be true. All the other folks from the same parts that I know, who don’t fit the stereotype are ignored.

    Well, DirtyCoffeeCup (thanks, chigau) wasn’t lazy in the sense that I thought, that she’d just stay here and not look for apartments. Nope, it’s true that she didn’t feel like looking at apartments so she saw 2 and chose one of them. Fine by me, since the name DirtyCoffeCup fits (and lunch dishes. Girl…. I made you lunch, you could at least offer to wash the dishes , especially considering I’ve been studying all day and you laid on the couch watching tv)

    Anyways, I’ll be on my own soon again. I don’t mind.

  163. 643

    I once had a serious fight with my former flatmate and still BFF at the start of your living together. I wanted coffee and all I could find was ONE dirty cup and believe me, there was no shortage of cups since somehow people always give you mugs for some reason.
    So I decided to wash out that one cup. At that point my friend started to bring ALL the other cups, dirty, and dropped them into the sink for me to wash….

  164. 644

    Wrote and deleted another dish-washing related comment.

    I’m in a loop.,trying to break out of it. I discussed this with someone on TET once, I think it was Pteryxx – you get stuck obsessing about something trivial and can’t stop turning it around and around endlessly. Worse when you bother other people with it.

  165. 645

    Hehe, I’m currently reading through the sex ed material for grade 6. It’s unfortunately cis-normative as hell, but apart from that quite good. Sex is for pleasure! Masturbation is good! Contraception is important! Gay people are as normal as everybody else!

  166. 646

    I just noticed that when I refresh The Orbit’s main page, blog order changes. That’s really nice, in the sense of giving everyone equal opportunities.

  167. 647

    Good luck!!!

    This is probably the most diverse and inclusive place I’ve ever worked in. Today at work we had a little celebration of Passover, Easter and The Isra and Miraj. Two of these aren’t national holidays, and all are some time away, but it doesn’t matter. The speeches were short but pleasant and the general mood was high and jubilant, which made up for the cheap appetizers.


    That’s really nice, in the sense of giving everyone equal opportunities.

    That’s Marxism for ya.


    Sex is for pleasure!

    It’s not nice to lie to children.

  168. rq

    I believe it’s newest posts first, so whichever post (from whatever blog) is newest, it gets placed at the top of the page.
    I, too, like this arrangement!

  169. 649

    I think when the blogger hasn’t set a picture for a post that changes randomly. Confused the hell out of me.
    Image recognition brain: Look! New Post!
    Reading brain: Are you sure?
    Image brain: Yes! Look! Pretty picture!
    Reading brain: But-but-but….

  170. rq

    So I made a hair dresser’s appointment for tonight, and I’m actually kind of nervous. I want to try something like this, except without the looking-like-Jennifer-Lawrence part. It’ll be the shortest hair I’ve ever had.

  171. 653

    That’s very nice!

    I’d be tempted to try something like that, but my hair is too thick so it would require upkeep not to look like a bush on my forehead. That’s why I keep it even shorter 🙂

    Btw. first exam done, now for the second

  172. 655

    Yay beatrice

    Looks good. I’d need to go to the hairdresser as well. And I need to dye them.

    We’ve been living here for 8 years. For 8 of them, each spring, I swear to all the non existing gods that this year I will clean the balcony in autumn…
    But I don’t think I ever created such a mess as this year…

  173. 657

    Rainy Days and Mondays…and this is both.

    Mom fell and broke her face—the second fall-and-break in a year. (The first one was her arm.)
    Estranged Sister proposes to relocate and move in with her; Cynical/Uncharitable Brain suggests that she’s doing it for the martyrdom points.
    Attempts to smother Cynical/Uncharitable Brain with a pillow…have not succeeded.
    I may be too petty for y’all to want to claim acquaintanceship.
    🙁 🙁 🙁

    Belated moral support for Dalillama and the now-history doctor’s visit; on-going support for the resultant life changes.

    *strong drink/exotic herbage* for wmdkitty.

    *hugs* for
    JimB; and here’s hoping that this week will be better. Also, congrats to your son, and *strong drink of choice* for you.

    Beatrice, I gotta agree with AlexanderZ, when he says

    I’d guess something along the lines of “I’m perfectly comfortable at Beatrice’s already”.

    Then again, I could just be suffering flashbacks to just exactly why Estranged Sister is Estranged….

    AlexanderZ: I love the look of Siamese cats—they’re probably my favorites, on the visual front—but their voices can twang my nerves something fierce.

    The crickets come because this thread has moved off the front page, I think.

    Glad to see that you’re safely home, giliell.


    This constantly tired thing is getting very old.

    “We are the chorus, and we agree.
    We agree, we agree, we agree.”

    And no chance for a solid nap ’til Thursday….

    My Bitsy-cat doesn’t eat crickets—but she is convinced that they are The Best Toys EVAR!!!. We find the legs, and the legless torsos, all over the house.

    *all tentacles crossed* for bluentx‘s unemployment appeal.

  174. 658

    cicely, your poor mom! If Estranged Sister wants to be a martyr to your mom, I say let her indulge herself. I wish my sister the Ratbag would step up occasionally, but pigs will fly sooner – she just likes to offer, get credit, and then not follow through because Reasons, for which she is promptly excused by Aged Mum. Come, join me in the Cynical and Evil-thinking corner of the pillow fort, it’s almost naptime.

  175. 659

    Actually, it was Son’s b-day last Mon. But I’ll pass along the b-day wishes anyway. 🙂
    Good luck on the appeal!
    Thanks. If nothing else, this week will be short since I have Th-F off for the radio station reunion. Plus so far work stress has calmed down a bit. But it’s still early on Monday, so……

  176. rq

    If there’s any left over, save them for yourself, I’m sure you’ll need them in the future. 🙂

    All I gots is *hugs*, also of the *pounce* kind, if you feel up to it. But mostly just *hugs*.

    Also *hugs* for Anne!
    And for everyone else as wants, plus *higs*, too!


    So obviously I look nothing like the sample photo, though the length is close – but I no longer have long hair. I think I like it, but I might go even shorter next time.

  177. 662

    Your poor mum!

    Talking about mothers, mine successfully completed her therapy. We’d been afraid she’d drop out since she chose a clinic that’s literally just a taxi ride away, but she strictly kept to the rules and you can see how the full person she used is coming back.
    We asked them to used their dryer for a load of laundry and she even ironed our undies, which is surprisingly a sign of good mental health 😉

    I’m uploading the holiday pictures (constantly updated):
    Here are non-human animals, plants and assorted motives, if you want to indulge in “haven’t they grown”, there’s the family pics.

  178. 668

    [Chortle] So we’re watching Antiques Roadshow, and the appraiser is looking at a chair, and he starts admiring the Rococo splat. Splat. Splat!

    I lost it. Husband explained to me that the splat (snerk) is the back of the chair. Splat! Rococo Splat! Then I said Splat to the cat. The cat was Not Amused. I’m still giggling. I must be very tired… Splat!

  179. 669

    all the *hugs*

    No, no, “haven’t they grown” has the best effect in front of said grown children, especially 8-10 years after they’ve stopped growing and now possibly hold a job 🙂
    I’ll leave the non-human photos for when I have more time later. (btw, saw some photos of yours at Caine’s. They’re great!)


  180. 670

    Great news about your mom!
    And great photos.

    Love the photos.
    One odd thing about birds is that while for all other creatures the offspring are cuter than the adults, for birds it’s the other way around – chicks look like malformed dinosaurs and adults look majestic. Weird.


  181. rq

    Therefore, ‘to splatter’ something means to smash it to bits using the back of a chair (holding it by the legs, of course). If you use a Rococo chair, you will create a lovely rococo splat with your Rococo splat.

    Yay! That’s exciting! Hope everything heals up as it should.

  182. 674


    Come, join me in the Cynical and Evil-thinking corner of the pillow fort, it’s almost naptime.

    You don’t have to ask me twice!
    *grabbing pillow; falling over*

    rq, *hugs*, both *pouncing* and otherwise, are gladly accepted and reciprocated.

    giliellIroned undies?
    That sounds uncomfortable.
    Glad to hear that your mother stuck with the therapy. 🙂

    Congrats on the ear piercing, Dalillama; may the Earlobe Infection Fairy stay far away from you!

  183. rq

    I think I’m finally figuring out why Bernie Sanders (for all of his good points) annoys me so much. And to think it’s Husband’s enamouredness that is helping me put these thoughts in order.
    (This is not to say I have particularly more positive feelings for Clinton. Just something about Sanders annoys me. And it might not even be his own fault.)

  184. 678

    The rest – immigrants.
    White people – expats.
    Me – repatriate (even though it’s untrue).

    I’m having one of those annoying nasty days. It started raining again, so the living room is filling up with water as usual. My winter shoes are also leaking something awful so I reach work with wet socks, and my house shoes are breaking apart, so I need thick socks to wear them.

  185. 683


    Yay for pierced ears, Dalillama
    What’s you plan for earrings once you’re rid of the medical ones?

    It’s Wednesday, thank goodness
    Last night I decided that I can no longer do the two jobs and need to drop teaching at the adult school I’ve been teaching at for I don’t know many years after this term.
    Yesterday I got up at 5:30, came from work a 3 pm, went to pick up the kids at 4, cam home shortly before 5, went to work at 5:30, cam home at half past 9. I wanted to cry for the last hour or so of work.
    And here’s what patriarchy does to women: I told my mum in law, who babysits on Tuesday nights of my decision. She was sympathetic: the household and the kids suffer !
    Yes thank you…

  186. 685

    Giliell, [hugs], and there’s a pillow in the nap corner with your name on it, whenever you like.

    My big accomplishment so far today is that after I drove Younger Daughter to her early class and dropped Elder at the coffee place near the county park, I walked to the bank and Starbucks, and did NOT buy a pastry to go with my nonfat misto. Yay me. Of course there’s still all the chocolate and other sweets around the house to tempt me, but at least I didn’t succumb this time.

  187. rq

    I had not heard the theory that Candida albicans can cause autism.
    Actually, the friend who posted that stuff… I worry a bit for her and her daughter. But I don’t know how to approach her, as she’s not likely to listen. It just makes me sad.

  188. 691

    I don’t know what has been getting into my dreams the last two or three nights, but I remember waking up during the night, and I’m pretty tired all day. I feel like a had bad dreams, but I don’t remember anything

  189. 693

    No pastry? Tssss.
    I bought three packets of Oreo Ice Cream, which makes 18 pieces. #1 generously said I could have two of them.

    One thing I like about Germany, or my State, is that the parents get a letter informing them that we’re starting sex ed.
    Yes, you read correctly. Informing. Not asking their consent.

  190. 695

    Page 6 of the book for my next exam. I already need a tech to tech for dummies translator.
    I feel like this is useless. I don’t have experience with this, I don’t expect to gain experience with this any time soon and I don’t even think my boss expects me to learn this, but just to pass so I can get certification.
    What’s the point?
    I do bits and pieces of different kinds of work, but it feels like I don’t do anything really well. I do a lot of testing so wouldn’t it be more useful if I actually learned better testing practices?!

    Maybe this should encourage me to seek another job, but I don’t feel like I have any real qualifications.
    Oh, I can do testing. But no, I’m pretty sure I don’t follow any recommended practices and I don’t even know what recommended practices are.
    Oh, I can kinda write some business processes… but I just went to a 4-hourse course, then had to write some very simple processes twice and then nothing. But I think I could google remember it for next time.
    Oh, I can query databases, but I’m not actually DBA and I don’t really all that much (or anything) about servers.. and, yeah, I suppose I could not murder a database if I had access to google and drugged myself with enough coffee never to sleep again… but can I sort of just do reporting services and not-too-difficult queries and stuff? But I’m kinds weak with optimization so don’t expect them to be optimized.
    I can also work with people, I suppose. Teach them stuff about computer stuff…

    But hey, I’m learning to get some kind of certification so that boss has an “excuse” to ask kdirector to give me a raise. Because hard work apparently means nothing compared to gaining a certificate that I am encouraged to pass via finding tests (dumps) online. That sounds really useful. And I’m sure employers know how much bullshit these certificates are, so I doubt they would be a benefit for job seeking. ANd did I mention the part where I don’t understand this stuff?! So even if someone fell for the certifikate (that I still don’t have), I don’t actually know this stuff and have no practice so there’s no way I could figure it out without them noticing I’m bullshiting my way through tasks.

  191. 696

    Sorry about that info dump.
    I just had a difficult day that could have been a lot easier if this damned company ever did anything according to plans/best practices/some (any!) kind of thoughtful organization.
    And I think I might end up responsible for the shitfest, which is bullshit because when I wanted to take responsibility for organizing it properly on time, I was chided for hurrying, being annoying and trying to insert myself where I don’t belong.

    Sure, at the beginning everyone and no one is responsible, but when shit hits the fan drag out the stupid goat and everyone make sure to point fingers in the right direction!

  192. 697

    We have this idiom, Katica za sve which is usually translated as “Jack of all trades (master of none) but that’s not really accurate.
    Direct translation would be “Kate for everything” (Kate being a common female name in Croatia). Slovenian and Serbian equivalents are Deklica za vse and Devojka za sve which both translate to “Girl for everything” . I think that best describes what this means – someone you can give any and all jobs, there whenever and for whatever you need them. It’s supposed to sound derogatory, as someone being used for all kinds of jobs, to run about at everyone’s orders. I doubt it’s accidental that this person is female in all three examples.

    So yeah.. that’s how I feel.

  193. 698


    Direct translation would be “Kate for everything”

    The equivalent American (and possibly Anglosphere generally) term would be ‘Girl Friday’. And yeah, not a coincidence. */Hugs* and sympathies for work troubles.

  194. 699

    Thanks, Dalillama. Nice new avatar, btw. I should really start reading that comic again.

    Good night, folks. Early bedtime means that when I wake up all my problems will be gone… right? No? Oh well.

  195. 700

    Hugs for Beatrice.

    Giliell, I’m attempting to not Eat All the Things. I binge when I’m stressed, and I’m stressed most of the time. So this is progress of a sort. Now I’m going to have a small measured portion of chocolate with my decaf tea, before Aged Mum calls and gets me all upset again.

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