“If I can’t have you, then…”

Dear readers-close your eyes for a moment. I want you to imagine yourself as someone different. Imagine for a second (ok, a little longer than a second), that you are a 24-year-old man. A 24-year-old heterosexual man.  A 24-year-old heterosexual man named Colin Kingston who works at GNC and aspires to be a businessman. You (well, you-as-Colin) have been dating a young woman (Kelsey Annese) for the last three years. Recently however, Kelsey broke up with you. Now, after three years, you-Colin Kingston-have obviously invested a lot in this relationship, so this breakup is devastating to you. You feel lost. You don’t know what to do. You need options. What options do you have?

  • learn to crochet
  • drown your sorrows in alcohol (since you won’t be drinking responsibly, get a buddy or call a cab)
  • go skydiving
  • take off work for a weekend, buy a gallon of ice cream and chocolate and binge eat while watching the favorite rom-coms you and your ex used to watch together
  • cry yourself to sleep for a week listening to Celine Dion’s ‘My heart will go on’
  • join a gym
  • delete her phone number, lose her address, and throw away all pictures of the two of you
  • buy an 8-ball and spend the weekend cleaning your house
  • tell your co-workers that they can take the week off and that you’ll work the next 66 hours by yourself, figuring that if you throw yourself into work, you can take your mind off her
  • take a vacation
  • go to Vegas
  • climb a mountain
  • run for public office (unless your idol is Donald Trump or Ted Cruz or, really, any of the Republican shitheads vying for the nomination)
  • decide to move on and hit the club with your buddies

Now, this is the point where you can open your eyes (although I guess you wouldn’t have been able to read all of the above with your eyes closed). Why? Because while YOU, dear reader, might have chosen any of the above (or something else completely), the real Colin Kingston did not make any of those choices. No, the real Colin Kingston decided to be a murderous shithead.

A 24-year-old man distraught over a breakup stabbed his ex-girlfriend and a male college student to death before turning the knife on himself, authorities say.

Police in Geneseo, New York say Colin Kingston entered 21-year-old Kelsey Annese’s off-campus residence before 6 a.m. on Sunday and discovered her with another student, Matt Hutchinson, 24, of Vancouver, British Columbia.

Kingston then fatally stabbed Annese and Hutchinson—both athletes at the State University of New York at Geneseo—with a large knife he’d brought to the residence, authorities said.

Before he killed himself, Kingston phoned his father—a dairy farmer in the town of 8,000, just south of Rochester—and confessed to hurting his ex. He allegedly told his dad, Daniel Kingston, he was considering suicide.

The horrified father called police, and officers discovered the bodies of Kingston and his victims not long after.

“At some point, Colin Kingston went to the residence … and did discover Mr. Hutchinson in the company of Miss Annese,” Geneseo Police Department spokesman Jeffrey Szczesniak told reporters Monday.

Authorities believe Kingston killed the students before calling his father. “When the phone call was terminated by Colin shortly thereafter, [he] took his own life,” Szczesniak said.

Szczesniak said there was “no indication” that a struggle took place during the apparent double murder-suicide inside Annese’s bedroom.

“We believe that it was something that probably happened very quickly,” he told reporters.

According to Szczesniak, friends last saw Kingston at a local bar around 8 or 9 p.m. on Saturday.

Kingston dated Annese for about three years, authorities said. The alleged killer attended SUNY Geneseo but didn’t graduate.

Kingston brought the knife with him. He planned on using it against Kelsey. This was premeditated. You know what we have here? One of the big problems Colin Kingston suffered from?

Colin Kingston suffered from a sense of entitlement. Specifically male entitlement. Here was a guy whose girlfriend broke up with him and he couldn’t handle it. Which is nothing out of the ordinary. Plenty of guys take breakups poorly. But plenty of guys do not conceive and carry out a plan to kill their ex-girlfriend. But this asshole did. This guy, who thought he was entitled to Kelsey Annese, couldn’t handle the fact that she broke up with him. I can imagine him thinking “If I can’t have you, no one else will”. Which fits with him killing her. He treated her like she was his property. As if he owned her and she didn’t have the right to end things with him. Alternately, I can imagine him thinking “You can’t just leave me like this. I’m in charge. And I’m going to punish you for this.” No matter what he thought, he did not treat her as his equal. He did not view her as a human being with the right to make her own decisions. He certainly didn’t view her as a partner. Someone who respects the person they care about would respect their decisions. Someone who respects the person they care about would find some way to cope with a breakup. They would do any number of things. But the unacceptable response? Killing the woman (and the guy she was having sex with) who broke up with you. So to all of you guys who share a similar mindset as Colin Kingston, fucking be an adult and accept the fact that if your girlfriend breaks up with you, it is over. Respect her wishes. Don’t try to woo her back. Accept that it is over. Don’t stalk her. That’s creepy as shit and disturbing. And For Fuck’s Sake, don’t harm her in any way. This shouldn’t be hard. No matter how rough a breakup you have, you are not entitled to her attention, her time, or her body.

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“If I can’t have you, then…”
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2 thoughts on ““If I can’t have you, then…”

  1. 1

    Lemme guess, this is being called a “drama”.
    Just this morning on the new there was a “family drama”. Because heavens forbid we call a man stabbing his wife to death in front of their children cold blooded misogynistic murder (unless he’s not white).

  2. 2

    What saddens and terrifies me are the number of women who have been taught by our culture and media that entitlement = love, or that a man like him can be fixed if they dispense enough love. Most certainly there are men who have been taught that persistence equals love and if they just make themselves enough of an embarrassing nuisance, she will fall in love with him. The media is rife with these messages.

    Our culture has a lot to answer for because this type of behavior doesn’t happen in a vacuum.

    I’m a proponent that while the media doesn’t cause the world’s problems, the media does teach us how to live in the world. Most of how we learn to be in different situations, especially new situations we’ve never encountered, we learn from movies and TV. Hell, even I’ve done things in my life ,that I learned from watching TV, although to be fair, I was a child. How else do we learn how to act on dates, or treat our friends, or eat in a fancy restaurant. People learn about the culture they live in from TV, what jobs are considered important, how other people should be treated, how to dress for different events, and sometimes TV gives us our opinions about stuff. (Even if you don’t get your opinions from TV, you often formulate your arguments against people who do.)

    Entitlement doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Our culture teaches this daily. Not everyone adopts TVs messages. Some of us have a keener understanding of the difference between fantasy and reality, but for those who don’t…

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