I’d heard that prolonged bike riding could give a man an erection. So of course, I had to try it out-for science! And it didn’t work. I feel stiffed! It’s not fair. I rode to the store and all I have to show for it is wine, snacks, and a sore ass (the only thing I never liked about bikes-the seats). Turns out though, that it’s not a bicycle that has erection-granting powers; it’s a motorcycle. At least according to one guy who claimed that riding his ’93 BMW motorcycle gave him an acute case of priaprism:
Wolf claimed he suffered an acute case of priapism — a painfully prolonged erection — after riding his 1993 BMW motorcycle for two hours. He claimed the vibrations in the “ridge-like” motorcycle seat caused the condition that lasted several days, so he sued BMW North America and the seat manufacturer, Corbin-Pacific Inc.
The lawsuit claimed product liability, negligence and negligent infliction of emotional distress. Wolf said he was forced to seek treatment at Marin General Hospital and then with other specialists.
On Tuesday — in a 14-page decision laced with medical language about Doppler ultrasounds, tumescence and aspiration of the corposa cavernosa — a three-judge 1st District Court of Appeal panel affirmed a San Francisco Superior Court decision to dismiss the case.
The judges found that Wolf’s appeal “fails to comply with the rules of appellate procedure” by failing to cite the relevant cases or statutes, and it “contains no intelligible argument.” The panel ordered Wolf to pay the defendants’ costs on appeal, a sum likely to be many tens of thousands of dollars.
Damn. “No intelligible argument”. Guess that means motorcycles do not cause erections. Good thing I learned that before I went motorcycle shopping. Guess I’ll have to get an erection the way millions of other USAmerican men do: by purchasing a gun.