Raise your hand if you’ve had a wedding cake before. Yeah, I have too. The one I tried was waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too sweet and I didn’t care for the icing either. I’m a pretty simple cake guy. Thanks to my mother, there is one cake above all others that I love.
No, it’s not german chocolate cake. I cannot stand-nay, I detest-coconut. That taste and that texture…blech! As a kid, whenver I encountered it, I would try to scrape off that icing, but inevitably, there would be some left on top or worse, I’d find a gooey coconut infested center when I bit into what I thought was going to be pure cake. Even one piece of coconut is too much for me.
My favorite cake is also not this one:
I like carrots-not cooked though. I only like them raw (with ranch dressing mixed with red pepper flakes for dipping sauce).
I like cake.
Never shall the two marry and enter my mouth.
Nor is this my favorite cake:
Although I must say red velvet cake has moved up the ranks over the years. It’s not my favorite, but it’s up there. My favorite cake though, is one of the most simple:
This was my cake for many of my birthdays growing up. When I say many, I mean the vast majority of them. And we’re talking well into my 20’s. I’m sure that 16-year-old me could probably have eaten the whole cake, but I never tried that (which is probably a good thing, bc I’ve heard stomach pumpings are not pleasurable). But what if cakes-birthday or wedding-were not sweet? What if they weren’t made with flour, but with corn? What if-instead of icing, it was topped with mashed potatoes? And fried chicken? Well then, you’d have this:
The Los Angeles-based baker, head of Bree’s Cakes, has unveiled a cake to rival any you’ve ever seen. Even that trippy rainbow cake.
In her one-of-a-kind bake, Bree included corn bread, mashed potatoes, fried chicken, gravy, macaroni cheese and candied yams.
Yes, you read right. Those are all in this cake.
Bree says she was challenged to make it by a friend after he’d seen a snap of something similar.
I’m slightly turned off by the inclusion of candied yams, and the macaroni and cheese is really a strange addition, but that’s offset by cornbread! Fried chicken! Mashed potatoes! Gravy! It’s almost a complete meal. Now where are those minions? I need someone to acquire this cake for me, now!
Okay, I love Carrot Cake and German Choc Cake ( whaz ‘wrong witchu, man?) but I loathe Red Velvet cake.
That last cake, though, might top the Red Velvet for sheer repugnance. I like all those ingredients separately. Heck, in my house we eat all of them on a regular basis but I’m one of those odd people who doesn’t even like her food touching the other foods on her plate. A cake version sounds horrifying.