I’m a man who gets offended

“‘That’s offensive!’ … said no great man, ever.”

“Never is the fall of masculinity more clearly on display than when grown, adult men pull out the ‘offended’ card.  Any man who goes about with the word ‘offensive’ on his lips should be boiled with his own pudding… or promptly have his man-card revoked, one of the two.

Why is it that we all inherently get that sense of disgust, that feeling of embarrassment for a man who wines about being ‘offended’ but not many of us can articulate as to the reason?  Just why are we so repulsed by men (usually liberal) who fervently take ‘offense’?”

“Today’s ‘offended’ men are seen as wimpy simply because they are.  Instead of harnessing whatever affront is facing them, instead of facing it head-on, dealing with the problem and coming out the other side a stronger man, the ‘modern’ male chooses to sulk, to whine, and inevitably call Gloria Steinem.”

The above gems are brought to you by one Steven Crowder.  Crowder is a blogger over at Louder With Crowder, a Tea Party News Network powered conservative website that I’m not going to link to (here’s a link to the Addicting Info article that brought Crowder to my attention. It has a link to his site). While reading his sexist tirade, I realized that he made no attempt to identify what things so-called “modern” men take offense to. Others can fisk his rant, but as one of those “modern” men he attacks, I thought I’d list some of the things I take offense to. The following is a comment I left over at Addicting Info:

Stop being offended.
That’s far easier said than done however. Many of us who are members of certain oppressed groups regularly get offended by crap that others say or do. And contrary to the rantings of the douchemaggott in the OP, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being offended.

As a gay man, I get offended that people like Pat Robertson or Scott Lively deny not just my humanity and my rights, but the rights of countless LGBT people around the world. Their incendiary rhetoric contributes to the climate of anti-LGBT bigotry.

As a black man, I get offended by the people who claim that racism is a thing of the past because it isn’t and to make that claim is to deny the experiences of people of color. It sends the message that what these people go through either isn’t real or doesn’t matter. For those of us who are affected by the very much existing racism, we don’t have the luxury of living in a fantasy world disconnected from reality. Many of us don’t appreciate being told that the crap we’ve gone through isn’t real.

As an atheist, I get offended by those who claim that atheists are as bad as rapists bc we don’t believe in any deities. It’s offensive on multiple levels. For one, not believing in a deity is nothing like violating the bodily autonomy of another person by forcing yourself on them. Rape is one of the most horrific violations of another human being possible. Not believing in a deity doesn’t affect anyone else. The two aren’t remotely comparable. Secondly, being an atheist doesn’t make one immoral (yes, there are atheists with questionable morals, just as there are theists with questionable morals). Morals deal with the distinction between good/bad or right/wrong behavior between human beings. There’s nothing immoral about being an atheist bc there’s no moral component to not believing in a deity. It’s as silly as saying someone is immoral bc they don’t believe in invisible teapots or rainbow farting unicorns. By itself the ‘atheists are immoral monsters no better than rapists’ meme might not be so bad IF it wasn’t part of a broader pattern of denigrating and discriminating against people who don’t worship a deity.

Adding to all that, while I’m not a woman I get offended when people make sexist or misogynistic comments or when lawmakers submit legislation to curtail women’s reproductive rights. I also get offended when people who don’t know a damn thing about gender dysphoria pontificate about human biology as if they know what they’re talking about. I’m neither a woman nor a trans person, but I get offended bc both groups are human beings who continue to see their rights trampled upon and I don’t like that one bit. I’d prefer to live in a world where people are respected rather than denigrated for being who they are. I’d prefer to live in a world where the diversity of the human experience is appreciated and lauded rather than lambasted.

Unfortunately, I (along with you and everyone else) do not live in such a world. We live in a world where marginalized and oppressed people like women, trans people, lesbians, gay people, bisexual people, atheists, black people, and so many other groups are routinely crapped on. To varying degrees, around the world, these groups are subjected to discrimination, verbal and sexual harassment, bullying, threats of and actual violence, sexual assault and rape, and of course murder. Such denial of the human rights of others OUGHT to cause offense. It OUGHT to anger people. It OUGHT to cause people to rise up and say “No More”.

And that’s what often happens after people get offended. They do something about it. Offense often leads to outrage which often leads to efforts to effect social, political, and economic change for the better.

So here’s the middle finger to Crowder. I’m glad that many men get offended.

If Crowder wants to adhere to rigid (and harmful) gender roles that dictate what men (and women) can or cannot do, fine. But he doesn’t get to shove anyone else in that box. Taking offense at things doesn’t make me less of a man, and fuck Crowder or anyone else who says otherwise.

In a supremely amusing bit of irony that just hit me, Crowder’s entire rant reads like he is offended by men who get offended. Of course he’s too much of a misogynistic, bigoted douchebag for that level of self-awareness.

I’m a man who gets offended

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